WCW BattleBowl (November 1993)

While Starrcade had taken a backseat to SuperBrawl as WCW’s flagship supercard by the fall of 1993 – being used as BattleBowl/Lethal Lottery shows for the 1991 and 1992 editions – with the 10^th anniversary of Starrcade around the corner, WCW capitalized on the opportunity, and temporarily restored Starrcade to its proper position of prominence. However, even though the concept had failed to find either critical or commercial appeal during the first two outings, WCW was determined to get BattleBowl over, and decided to give it its own dedicated pay per view slot in November 1993 – just a month before Starrcade.

Unfortunately for them, Sid – who had been penciled in to win the WCW World Title from Vader at Starrcade – had gotten into a violent altercation with Arn Anderson in late October, and was released. While this show would have logically been used to build some kind of showdown between he and Vader (either in the Lethal Lottery, or more likely, the battle royal), WCW was now left with all dressed up, with nowhere to go.

From Pensacola, Florida; Your Hosts are Tony Schiavone and Jesse Ventura.


Opening Lethal Lottery Tag Team Match: Charlie Norris and Stevie Ray v Cactus Jack and Vader: Harlem Heat were still billed as 'Kane' and 'Cole' at this point, but we'll just call Stevie Ray by his more familiar name within that gimmick. Cactus tries to get into it with his own partner before things can even get properly underway (Jack and Vader had been engaged in a blood feud for most of 1993), and Stevie uses it to his advantage to unload in the corner. Cactus dumps him, so Vader jumps off of the apron to unload of Stevie... only to have Cactus stop him so he can get back to attacking Vader. Not the greatest tag team strategy, though, and Ray gets the tag off to Norris. He's Charlie fucking Norris, though, so he gets slaughtered in short order. Stevie helps him take Jack down for a chinlock, so Vader responds by simply walking in and clotheslining him, and Jack tags. Vader botches a powerbomb, but since it's Vader it's still enough to get the pin at 7:34. The Jack/Vader stuff was fun (Mick Foley always added some welcome chaos to these Lottery's), but the match was fairly dull, punchy-kicky stuff, without any real flow to it. ¼*

Lethal Lottery Tag Team Match: Brian Knobs and Johnny B. Badd v Paul Roma and Erik Watts: Badd and Roma start, and do a hiptoss-stalemate. Criss cross allows Badd to take him to the mat with a wristlock, and he tags Knobs in to clothesline him. Another one, but Roma ducks it, and backdrops him. Dropkick, and he tags Watts in for a significantly less impressive dropkick of his own. Boy, when Paul Roma is the star of the team, you know your career is in trouble. He trades wristlocks with Badd, and works well with Roma to pummel the arm. Knobs in with a cross corner clothesline, and he rakes the eyes - but Badd doesn't approve, and won't capitalize on it. That allows Roma to powerslam him, but Nasty manager Missy Hyatt distracts the referee - so no count. Unfortunately, that doesn't segue into the end sequence, instead just giving Badd a chance to grab a side-headlock. More Nasty cheating puts Roma on the floor, but Badd again refuses to capitalize - earning him an earful of screeches from Missy. Knobs has no qualms about suplexing the kid, though, but his 2^nd rope splash attempt hits boot, and Roma follows with an enzuigiri before tagging. Watts is a house of arson, and throws a bodypress, but Knobs rolls through for the pin at 12:56. Badd's morality play made sense from a logical perspective (faces were faces in those days), but it got annoying after a while, and hurt the match more than it helped. ¼*

Lethal Lottery Tag Team Match: Ricky Steamboat and Steven Regal v Paul Orndorff and The Shockmaster: Steamboat and Orndorff start, but Paul is caught up jawing with the fans, gets taken down in a headlock, and runs into the skin the cat/headscissors spot. Steamboat kneelift gets two, and he goes to the chinlock. Orndorff slugs his way into a double knockout, and both men make tags. Regal goes into his usual stall routine to make sure he kills the flow of the bout properly, and once it's on life support, gets slammed by Shockmaster. Aggressive tag back to Orndorff, but since they're both heels, Regal actually gives him a fair handshake. Psh, a proper heel would have decked him anyway. No honor among thieves, and all that. They trade a couple of tame mat holds - making sure to shake hands all along the way - but even Steamboat gets sick of it, and tags himself in. He gets stungunned for his efforts, and sidewalk slammed, but Orndorff elects to tag to Shockmaster instead of finishing the job. Shock forces Steamboat to tag Regal, but ends up missing a blind charge, and we have a four-way brawl - only with each guy fighting his own teammate. Shock pins Regal in that chaos at 12:25. The best Shockmaster matches are short Shockmaster matches. This was not a short Shockmaster match. DUD Well, hopefully the next one will be better.

Lethal Lottery Tag Team Match: Dustin Rhodes and King Kong v The Equalizer and Awesome Kong: Aww, fuck. Rhodes and The Equalizer start, as the crowd (who were into this show towards the start) completely dies. Awesome in, but gets dropkicked, and rolled up for two. He uses his fat to come back, so Dustin bails to King. He refuses to lockup with his usual tag partner, though, and both tag back out. More plodding, until Dustin tries a sunset flip on Awesome, and we have a four-way brawl. Rhodes with a bulldog for the pin on Awesome at 5:55. Really bad, but at least it lived up to the hype, as it was as equally horrible as the last bout, and awesomely dull. DUD

Lethal Lottery Tag Team Match: Sting and Jerry Sags v Ron Simmons and Keith Cole: Keith Cole is not to be confused with Booker T's original gimmick, noted earlier. It's just some other dude named Cole, who had a tag team with his twin brother. And the mullet to end all mullets. Sags and Simmons start (after much debate), and Sags immediately bails to bitch at Sting from the floor. Simmons finally ties up with him, and unloads with dropkicks and shoulderblocks. Tag to Cole to help work the arm, as the crowd tries to keep conscious by chanting 'We Want Sting.' Sags refuses to tag, however, preferring to suck whatever life is left in this crowd out all by his lonesome. Some bullying from Simmons finally forces him to tag the Stinger, but he gets dominated with shoulderblocks by Simmons, as Ron wisely plays a subtle heel. Cole tries his luck, but gets caught with a backslide, as he compares hair care secrets with Sting. Sting wants to take the time to write those invaluable nuggets down, so he tags Sags. Sags sucks, though, and Cole keeps him in an armbar before tagging back to Simmons. We get another Sting/Simmons showdown (shoulderblock! shoulderblock! shoulderblock!), but he relies on Cole to finish things up, and not even his mullet can stop the Stinger. Suplex and a Stinger Splash, and Sags tags himself in to score the fall at 13:14. Yeah, you showed him, Jerry. You got him the clean victory. How will he ever go on?! Afterwards, Simmons beats the shit out of Cole, turning himself heel. Hey, can't blame him. Never trust whitey. DUD

Lethal Lottery Tag Team Match: 2 Cold Scorpio and Maxx Payne v Ric Flair and Steve Austin: Big argument between Austin and Flair over who gets to start, but it's against Maxx Payne, so Flair lets him have his small victory. Austin doesn't have too much luck, though, but when he heads back over to bail to Flair, Slick Ric tells him to handle it himself since he's so smart. Scorpio tags, and gets walloped, but counters a suplex, and dropkicks Austin. Criss cross allows him to do it again, and now Austin is begging Flair to tag. He obliges, and shows Austin how to properly school Scorpio on the mat, and even throws in a bonus lesson of how to handle Payne. Tag back to Austin, but he must not have been taking notes, as he gets quickly backdropped. Flair comes back in to fix everything, and destroys Scorpio with chops, but gets Stinger Splashed. Suplex, and a standing moonsault for two, then a rollup gets two, so Flair cuts him down with a knife edge. Tag to Austin, but Scorpio quickly gets him with a sunset flip for two - only to get crotched on the top rope, and superplexed off. Flair and Austin cut the ring in half, but Steve gets spinkicked, and Scorpio gets the tag to Payne. He's a Chumlee of fire, but bangs his knee on a blind charge, and Flair finishes with a Figure Four at 14:31. Best use of the Lottery concept on the show so far, as Austin and Flair openly disliked each other, but still worked a match around it, with Scorpio game to suffer through their heat segment. * ½

Lethal Lottery Tag Team Match: Rick Rude and Shanghai Pierce v Marcus Bagwell and Tex Slazenger: Pierce and Slazenger were a regular tag team, and would become better known as the Godwinns in the WWF a couple of years later. In a bit of WCW's endless brilliance, they have Shanghai (Henry Godwinn) under a mask, as they deemed him 'too good looking' to be a heel. Rude starts with Bagwell, and somehow gets the crowd to boo him without looking like the protagonist of a Victor Hugo novel. Tag to Tex, so Rude responds by tagging Shanghai Pitt, but much like the earlier match, the partners refuse to face off. Rude ends up getting pinballed around, but Bagwell can't keep it going, and he gets the tag off to Shanghai Tatum. Bagwell has better luck with him (somehow not blinded by the ray of sunshine that is his face), and gets him in a chinlock, but ends up getting dumped. Rude comes in to help cut the ring in half, but Bagwell eventually gets the tag to Tex, and this time, with both frustrated, they have it out. Unfortunately for Slazenger, Pierce is the one with Rick Rude on his team, and a Rude Awakening finishes at 14:50. Way too long for what they were going for, to the point of becoming aggravatingly dull. - ½*

Lethal Lottery Tag Team Match: Davey Boy Smith and Booker T v Hawk and Rip Rogers: Hawk decides to take Rogers out in the aisle, and starts against Davey Boy by himself. They do a power-stalemate, with Booker shouting 'helpful' instructions until Davey just tags him in. He has somewhat better luck - hooking a nervehold - but Hawk shrugs it off, and starts slapping him around like a bitch. Meanwhile, Rogers makes it to the ring apron, so Booker decks him to put him back to crawling. Booker chokes Hawk, as the crowd chants 'LOD' to rev him up - though, it might have been 'Elodie' in an attempt to lure Flair's French Maid back to ringside to keep them entertained, I'm not certain. Hawk has no one to tag, but manages to handle Booker pretty easily by himself, then pick Rogers up off of the ramp, and press slams him onto Booker to get the pin at 7:55. Cute ending, but pure crap otherwise. DUD

Main Event: BattleBowl: All the winners of the tag matches qualify for the battle royal, giving us: Steve Austin, Johnny B. Badd, Cactus Jack, Ric Flair, Brian Knobs, King Kong, Paul Orndorff, Shanghai Pierce, Dustin Rhodes, Vader, Hawk, Rip Rogers, Rick Rude, Jerry Sags, The Shockmaster, and Sting. Rogers obviously has a target on his back, and gets tossed right away, as Flair properly takes his frustrations out on Austin from earlier. Standard battle royal fare, though thankfully, they're working with one ring, instead of the flawed initial two-ring Battle Bowl concept. Cactus makes the brilliant decision to try and superplex Vader (not good thinking in general, and even loss so in a battle royal), and predictably ends up on the floor, as Rhodes backdrops Orndorff out. Vader press slams Sting out next, but stupidly drops him onto the elevated ramp instead of the floor - which doesn't count as an elimination. Honestly, with the number of guys still in this thing, they should all gang up to dump Vader, since he's the biggest and most vicious of their competition. Not to mention World Champion. They don't, though, and Rhodes goes flying out, as Vader moves on to Flair. The Nasties' efforts at double-teaming their way to victory fail (like so, so many club nights before), and we're down to Flair, Vader, Sting, and Austin - which is a great field. They all trade off,  until Flair ends up on the ramp with Vader manager Harley Race, and in turn, squashed by Vader out there. That's enough to get him carried out of the arena, but Vader won't stop, making Sting the unlikely savior with a diving clothesline on the ramp. The match pretty much stops dead as everyone watches Flair get carried out, until Vader press slams Sting back in. He and Austin try stereo flying splashes, but Sting dodges them. He can't hold them off for long, though, and the heels start pinballing Sting with forearm shots. Vaderbomb, but another Austin flying splash misses, and Sting tosses Steve. To the ramp, but they decide to count it anyway. WCW-Logic then smashes us in the face again, as Vader immediately tosses Sting onto the ramp, but they decide it doesn’t count. Even the announcers have a tough time dancing around that one. Vader decides to kill him decisively, and after a missed Stinger Splash attempt, manages to win BattleBowl at 25:33. Hey serves the others right for not thinking to gang up on him when they had the chance. Took too long to get down to the end (this could have stood to lose ten minutes, easy), but the final-four sequence was pretty much all good fun, and served to set up Starrcade, to boot. ½*

BUExperience: This ranged from bad (um, pretty much everything) to occasionally terrible (the ‘hottie Godwinns’), and is easily a candidate for Worst Pay Per View of All Time – particularly because it has absolutely zero historical significance. This was literally just a show to have a show – and a bad one, at that. There's a reason people used to call this show 'BattleBowel,' and it's only partially due to the fact that Dusty Rhodes shits a lot. DUD