WWF Royal Rumble 2000

By 2000 – with rival WCW becoming increasingly irrelevant with each passing week, a massive expansion of the roster throughout 1999, and finally starting to come out of their Vince Russo stupor – the WWF booked the most interesting Rumble card in years, beginning a run of dominance through 2000 that lead to an endless series of poorly executed reactionary decisions from WCW, before they folded altogether a year later.

From New York, New York; Your Hosts are Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler.


Opening Match: Kurt Angle v Tazz: Tazz was a much-hyped mystery opponent - though anyone online at the time knew well in advance. The hardest part of his jump to the WWF was having to remember to type the extra 'z' so often. Tazz goes right at him, almost immediately backdropping him to the floor. Suplex out there, but Angle reverses, and drags him back in. Diving forearm gets two, and an overhead suplex flattens Tazz. He goes up top, but Tazz crotches him, and T-Bone suplexes him off. He makes the mistake of arguing the count with the referee, and gets himself German suplexed. Angle Slam, but Tazz counters with a suplex. T-Bone suplex, and a head-and-arm suplex set up the Tazzmission for the submission at 3:18 - ending Angle's undefeated streak. New York was the absolute perfect place to debut ECW mainstay Tazz. Angle was also in good form - his character a brilliant summation of the Attitude Era, as a former Olympian wrapping himself in the flag would have blown the roof of the same arena in the 80s. Solid quickie. *

Elimination Tables Match: The Dudley Boyz v The Hardy Boyz: First team to put both opponents through tables wins. Big brawl to start, and the Dudley's get a table in the ring quickly. Bubba Ray Dudley tries to backdrop Jeff Hardy though it, but Matt Hardy kicks it out of the way in the last second. He tries to do the same thing to D-Von Dudley, but ends up getting powerbombed. Meanwhile, Jeff and Bubba are on the outside, and Jeff tries his rail running dive - only to have Bubba throw a table at him. Inside, the Hardy's try to superplex Bubba through a table, but D-Von moves it out of the way. Matt responds by bringing a ladder into things to clean house, and throws a chair into the mix to keep things exciting. Flying legdrop off of the ladder puts Bubba through a table, and they start double-teaming D-Von with the ring steps. They try to lay D-Von out on a table to finish, but he dodges Matt's flying legdrop, and Matt goes through it - but it doesn't count as an elimination because D-Von didn't 'put him through it.' Okay. Bubba decides to come back in, and manages to powerbomb Matt through a table - but now that doesn't count, 'cause Bubba isn't 'legal.' They brawl into the crowd, and end up stacking two tables on top of each other. The Dudley's lay Matt on it, but Jeff comes out wildly swinging a chair to break things up, and causes Bubba to fall off the riser, through a table. They decide that counts as an elimination (the logic of this match is baffling), and they finish D-Von definitively with a Swanton off the riser and through a table at 10:18. These two teams would go on to have more memorable matches involving tables, ladders, and chairs - but this was certainly a wild introduction. The Hardy’s (along with Edge and Christian) were probably the best, most innovative tag team in North America at the time, and were perfectly suited to work 'garbage'-style matches with recent ECW defectors like the Dudley's. ***

Miss Rumble 2000 Bikini Contest: Resident dirty old man Jerry Lawler hosts an in-ring bikini contest, with Ivory, Terri, Jacqueline, BB, Luna Vachon, and The Kat (Jerry Lawler's real-life wife at the time, just coming off of flashing her tits at the last pay per view). Standard booby parade, until 80-year old Mae Young busts things up by deciding to show her bust.

WWF Intercontinental Title Triple Threat Match: Chris Jericho v Chyna v Hardcore Holly: This was during the retarded period where Jericho and Chyna were both the champion - as they wrestled to a draw a few weeks before this, and instead of holding the title up, or leaving it on the champion, or ANYTHING that had logical historical precedence at all - they decided that they were to work as co-champions. That one went over like a fart in... well, anytime, really. I don't think farts are ever properly appreciated. Holly gives Chyna a hard shove to keep her in her place, but she responds by slapping him. And Jericho for good measure. That just pisses them off, though, and then dump her - allowing Holly a dropkick. Jericho with a diving forearm for two, as Chyna takes a break on the floor. Walls of Jericho on Holly, but Chyna breaks it up now that it looks like they're getting serious. Clothesline puts Holly out, and a baseball slide aims to keep him there. He gets uppity, though, so Jericho flies out with a springboard bodypress. Inside, the co-champs hit stereo flying splashes onto Holly, then get into a slugfest over who gets to make the pin. Chyna actually gets the best of that, and gives Holly a Pedigree for two. Moonsault, but Holly pulls her off for an electric chair - only to have Jericho fly in and bodypress her for two. Superplex on Holly, but he rolls through for two, so Chyna bails out to grab a chair. That lays him out properly, and Chyna hooks a Boston Crab - but gets bulldogged by Jericho, and he finishes her with a springboard moonsault to become the undisputed champion at 7:31. Well paced, but basically just a collection of spots. *

WWF Tag Team Title Match: The New Age Outlaws v The Acolytes: The Acolytes charge right in to brawl with the champs, and Billy Gunn and Bradshaw start proper. Gunn with a quick dropkick, but he gets caught in a blockbuster, and both guys tag. Faarooq powerslams Jesse James, but Billy stops him from hitting a spinebuster. James with the dancing punches, but Bradshaw breaks up the Jiggy elbowdrop, and we have another four-way brawl. The referee gets bumped in the chaos, and X-Pac runs interference - allowing Gunn to pin Bradshaw at 2:39. Very rushed - even for a quickie. This was pretty much the Outlaws' last stand, as they'd lose the belts the next month, and (much like they themselves did only a couple of years before) become overshadowed and made obsolete by better teams, as the titles became a baton for Edge & Christian, The Hardy's, and The Dudley's to pass around. ½*

WWF Title Street Fight: Triple H v Cactus Jack: Mick Foley had been kayfabe fired by Triple H and Stephanie McMahon, and returned for vengeance - unleashing his Cactus Jack persona on Triple H to make sure he brutalizes him properly. You know he's pissed when he's shelving his 'I was a neglected child raised by sewer rats, like to stab myself, and shove my package-enhancing sock down peoples' throats' personality for something even crazier. Big staredown to start, which quickly segues into a slugfest - going Cactus' way. He tries a running kneesmash, but Hunter bails, so Jack simply gives him a neckbreaker on the floor. He throws him around out there, but HHH snags the ring bell to coldcock him. HHH grabs a chair to try and keep the madman out of the ring, but Jack decides to charge anyway - and gets blasted. HHH goes to remove the turnbuckle pad, but Jack jumps him, and drops a chair-assisted legdrop. Another slugfest puts them on the outside, and this time HHH makes the mistake of charging - and gets backdropped into the crowd. They brawl through the stands, and end up over at the entrance area. Cactus throws him against a brick wall, and then suplexes him onto a pair of wooden pallets - which unintentionally opens up a nasty gash in Triple H's leg, where a shard of wood decided to introduce itself. Garbage can shot, and he whips him into the garage-style door that swings open at the entrance. Bulldog, but HHH finally manages a counter - side suplexing Jack onto the trashcan. Jack is particularly enraged tonight, though, and shrugs it off to throw the champ into the steps a couple of times. He finds his cherished barbed wire  2x4 under the ring (Hacksaw Duggan looked like a complete pussy in retrospect, once Foley started popularizing barbed versions of the 2x4), but HHH kicks it away from him, and lays in a few shots. The referee gets it away from him, and decides to hide it at the Spanish announce table - 'cause, obviously, if you need something smuggled, you call Mexicans. Meanwhile, Cactus manages a double-arm DDT for two, and then wants to know where the fuck his 2x4 is. He lays out the poor announcers for trying to hold out on him, but end up with it (though it's a second, faux-wired version), and unloads on HHH, drawing blood. HHH has trouble standing, so Cactus generously drags him over to the announce table for a piledriver. Hunter counters with a backdrop onto it, as the camera gives us a good look at his bladejob - and it's a doozy. Back inside, HHH tries for the Pedigree, but Cactus counters with a slingshot into the corner, and another shot with the 2x4. Cactus Clothesline puts them outside again, but a blind charge once again backfire on someone - this time allowing HHH to viciously hiptoss him onto the steps. That smashes his knee up pretty good, so Hunter the Merciful decides to start bashing it with the 2x4. Learning from last year, he realizes it's gonna take a bit more than that to beat Jack, and handcuffs his hands behind his back again. HHH brings the steps in, but a charge with them is countered with a drop-toe hold - sending HHH crashing into the steps himself. His hands tied, Cactus starts biting at him as offense, but the referee breaks it up. Okay, so tables, chairs, stairs, bricks, handcuffs, barbed wire - all okay. Teeth? ARE YOU CRAZY?!? HHH uses the opportunity to whack him with a chair, and starts playing The Rock in his little reenactment, but just as he's about to level Cactus with a fourth unprotected shot in the aisle, The Rock himself pops out to level HHH with a chair. An official uncuffs Cactus, and he drags the champ over to complete the piledriver onto the table spot - which holds firm. On the way back inside, Cactus retrieves a bag of thumbtacks he had stashed to really liven things up, so Stephanie McMahon runs in to plead clemency. No go, but the distraction is enough to allow HHH to backdrop Jack onto the tacks - covering his body in them. Pedigree to finish - but it only gets two! That really serves to piss Hunter off, so he gives him a second Pedigree - this time directly onto the bed of tacks - and that's enough to end this war at 26:55. Super intense brawl, that finally gave credibility to relatively new main eventer Triple H - who people didn't really buy as WWF Champion before this match. Brutal stuff, filled with crazy hardcore spots, as well as elevating itself beyond most other hardcore matches by becoming psychologically interesting, with stuff like fighting over spots, and references to past encounters. I loved this match (and feud) when it first aired, and it absolutely holds up today. ****

#1 Contender's Royal Rumble Match: 90 second intervals this year. D-lo Brown and Grand Master Sexay (Brain Christopher). Sexay dominates the early going, until #3 entry Mosh takes him to school. That draws Kaientai out (pissed that they were passed over for eligibility in the Rumble) to interfere - but the others manage to clear them out pretty quickly. They should time travel back to 1996 - I'm positive they would have gotten spots in that version. Christian gets #4, and almost immediately flattens Mosh with an inverted DDT. Rikishi gets #5, and finishes the job on Mosh with a proper elimination. Christian's next, so Brown tries a neckbreaker, but gets no-sold, and tossed. That leaves Rikishi against his own Too Cool tag partner - and the big man sets his sights on Christopher. #6 is fellow Too Cool member Scotty 2 Hotty, and he chills Rikishi out by suggesting a dance party. Too Cool's act - which to this day remains one of the more surprising gimmicks to get over, especially at the magnitude that it did - was basically that they were two white guys dressing like they're on MTV, along with their badass Samoan enforcer, who, when given a pair of possibly magic sunglasses, just wants to dance. It doesn't sound like it would work, but it was so popular, they actually got the tag titles, and Rikishi shot to the main event. The dance party breaks up when Rikishi clotheslines them both out, but they all good. Steve Blackman gets #7, but he gets quickly tossed by Rikishi. Viscera draws #8, and that ought to give Rikishi some proper competition. Big slugfest goes Viscera's way, and he hits a big belly to big belly suplex. Avalanche, but a second misses, and the dancing Samoan dumps the gothic black man. Big Bossman gets #9, but he's been around the block before with schmos like Earthquake, John Studd, and Andre the Giant - so he plays it smart, and hangs on the floor until #10 entry Test comes out. The strategy fails when Test decides to kick his ass on the floor, and then drag him in - but does work in keeping Rikishi from focusing solely on him. Davey Boy Smith draws #11, in his weird final stint with the company - most notable for him wrestling in blue jeans. Gangrel draws #12, but gets quickly double-teamed by Bossman and Test. Meanwhile, Kaientai joins in again. And again get quickly tossed. Edge gets lucky #13, but gets quickly ganged up on by Davey and Gangrel, as Rikishi gives Bossman a banzai. The ass-drop, not a little tree. #14 is Bob Backlund, and he immediately helps everyone gang up to toss Rikishi. The three veterans (Bossman, Davey, Backlund) and the young guns (Edge, Gangrel, Test) have two separate three-way brawls going on as Chris Jericho gets #15 - and quickly tosses Backlund. Crash Holly is #16. I don't have much to add to that one. Just thought it'd be good to note. Chyna gets #17, and goes right for Jericho. She manages to eliminate him, but gets clotheslined out by Bossman on the rebound. Faarooq gets #18, as the Mean Street Posse (also denied entry into the Rumble) run in. They actually manage to help Bossman take Faarooq out before getting cleared out, and Jesse James draws #19. Unfortunately, he does for Test instead of Davey - forever robbing us of a Dogg v Dog showdown. #20 is Al Snow, and nearly stomps a mud hole in Test. Val Venis gets #21, and spreads the love around, as Kaientai shows up again. Prince Albert gets #22, as Venis gets rid of the Edge. Hardcore Holly draws #23, but opts to go for Test instead of helping out little Crash (he's like a fender bender). The Rock gets a well-timed #24 draw, as the crowd was starting to get bored with the lineup. Bossman's gone - which is more good booking, as he had been somewhat dominant, and quickly eliminating him makes Rock look strong. Billy Gunn draws #25, and teams up with Road Dogg on Test, as Rock dumps Crash. Big Show is #26, and the crowd is pumped for that one, as one of the big issues going into the match was Rock guaranteeing he'd win, and Show guaranteeing he wouldn't. Test is gone. Gangrel is gone. He goes for Holly, as Bradshaw joins the fun at #27 - but in run the Posse again. Bradshaw manages to toss them, but the distraction allows the Outlaws to sneak up and push Bradshaw out. Kane gets #28, and he's a house of arson. Venis gets burned. Albert is toast. The Godfather draws #29 - and brings a full sized ho-train this year. Hey it's New York. It would be silly if he didn’t. Kaientai run in to play with their titties, but get dumped yet again. X-Pac rounds out the field at #30, and he starts with the lightning kicks on Rocky, as Show tosses Godfather, and Kane gets rid of Holly. Rock gets rid of Snow, and Gunn turns on James to eliminate him - missing a big opportunity, though, as with X-Pac in there, the three DX members could have easily teamed up. He gets quickly dumped by Kane for being a dumbass. That leaves X-Pac, Kane, Big Show, and The Rock - and Rocky tosses X-Pac out with authority. The referee is caught up with the Outlaws bitching at each other, though, and misses it - so he sneaks back in, and dumps Kane. Show responds by press slamming him out over-the-top, giving Pac not one but two visually impressive eliminations. That leaves him with Rock, and Show gets spinebustered, and hit with the People's Elbow. Rock tries to toss him, but gets chokeslammed, and then, in a great finish, Show tries to powerslam him out - only to have Rock hold on on the way over, and send him tumbling so he hits the floor first at 51:54. Later replays would show that Rock's feet had actually touched first, and lead to them both getting involved in the WrestleMania main event. Solid Rumble, as they finally had a decent field to work with, and properly build intrigue. Probably the best version since '93. ***

BUExperience:  This one met near universal critical acclaim when it aired, and even thirteen years later, it still holds up well. A lot of the enthusiasm was certainly ‘in the moment,’ but most of it still holds up well today – especially the Street Fight. The biggest thing people enjoyed was the post-Vince Russo change in the overall direction of the company, and product. There was more focus on logical booking, proper angle development – and less on ‘Crash-TV,’ which were all welcomed by casual fans and critics alike. While the product was far from perfect, the company was moving in the right direction by leaps and bounds – and with the defection of Chris Benoit, Perry Saturn, Dean Malenko, and Eddie Guerrero to the WWF later that month, as well as Steve Austin’s return that fall – they went on to have what many consider to be their best year, from a critical standpoint. ***