- The HITMAN383 Re-Rant for WWF WrestleMania III. Yes, a
rant is already up for this one, but I feel like watching it again, and since
the rant is somewhat old, might as well go again, right?
- BTW, I use this system:
***** - Excellent,
**** - Great,
*** - Good,
**- Okay,
* - Decent,
DUD – Nothing Match.
- For those not familiar with this show, it’s like the biggest wrestling pay-per-view (or show, for that matter) EVER.
- Live from Pontiac Michigan, at the giant Silverdome, drawing some 90,000 people, setting an indoor attendance record. Dave Meltzer once said that it’s no exaggeration, that if the building was big enough, they could have packed 125,000 people in there for this one.
- Your Hosts are Gorilla Monsoon and Jesse Ventura.
- Vince welcomes everyone to WrestleMania, and (according to later interviews) was really choked up doing so, feeling the spirit of his father. Watching, you can see the nervousness on his face. And, rightly so, this is basically the peak of the WWF at this point (and really, probably to this day), and he’s never done a show for 90,000 people before.
- Aretha Franklin sings a great rendition of “America the Beautiful.”
- Mary Hart (Entertainment Tonight) and Bob Ucker (Mr. Baseball) kick off the show in the broadcast booth with Jesse and Gorilla.
- Opening Match: The Can-Am Connection vs. Bob Orton & Don Muraco: Muraco and Martel start, with the original “Rock” showing off his strength. Martel’s speed serves him well, and he takes Muraco down. Zenk helps out, which drawing Orton in, but the faces double team him out. It’s Zenk vs. Orton now, with Zenk’s speed allowing him to keep control. Heel miscommunication gets Tom a two count, and the faces start working the arm. Muraco tags in, but gets slammed, so Orton takes a cheap shot, giving the heels the advantage. Man, when a crowd this big boos, you can really HEAR it. (Yeah, that was one of the greatest stadium show crowds, ever. Big stadium WrestleMania’s always fall so flat these days) Orton in, and a double clothesline knocks both men out. Everyone’s in for a brawl now, and in the confusion, the Can-Am’s hit a bodypress/school boy combo for the win at 5:32. And the crowd goes NUTS for it. Wow! ½*, but still a great way to start, since the crowd liked it.
- Hercules vs. Billy Jack Haynes: This feud came about over who has the better full nelson. I miss those kinds of feuds, I’ll tell ya. Speaking of Herc, I haven’t heard about him in quite a while. Anyone know what’s up with him? (He was dead less then two years after this was written, sadly) The crowd for this is SO freakin’ loud for this show, too, cheering and booing with gusto. They wrestle around to start, as I find it hard for me to do play-by-play on, since I just love WATCHING this card so much. Anyway, Haynes goes for the nelson, but Herc bails to the ropes. Billy’s response, chop the shit out of him. That earns with a solid lariat from Herc, and a backdrop. Slam gets two, when Herc stops his own count. He wants to beat him with the nelson, see? Backbreaker, and he keeps pounding, setting up the hold. Slam, and he gets the full nelson, but he can’t lock the fingers. He still gets two arm drops out of it, as the crowd cheers Billy on. He escapes, and a double clothesline kills both. Haynes with an atomic drop, and he hooks a full nelson of his own, but Herc sends both men tumbling to the floor. Haynes hooks it on the floor again, and keeps it on for a double countout at 7:52. Afterwards, Bobby Heenan distracts Haynes, which allows Herc to bash him with his chain, and gives him a beat down, blade job and all. DUD, especially after the non-decisive ending. It’s WRESTLEMANIA III (!!), what are you saving the blow-off for? It doesn’t get any bigger!
- Mixed Six-Man Tag Team Match: King Kong Bundy, Little Tokyo & Lord Littlebrook vs. Hillbilly Jim, Little Beaver & The Haiti Kid: Everyone but Bundy and Hillbilly are midgets, for those that don’t know. Hillbilly, of course, is a mental midget. Haiti and Tokyo go first, which draws in the other midgets, and stuff happens that involves the faces beating up the heels. Not much more to say that that. Even the crowd doesn’t care. And when you’re killing THIS crowd, that’s a bad sign, I’ll tell ya. Eventually, Bundy tags in, so the little faces challenge him, and hit dropkicks, but it has no effect. They tag Jim, which draws a pop, but Bundy beats on him. Beaver keeps trying to make the save, so Bundy gets agitated, and slams him. He drops an elbow to follow up, drawing a pretty massive “boo-vation”, and a DQ at 4:07. Bundy’s partners turn on him as a result, pissed at his actions. Of course, he had it coming, but say what you will. DUD, but it was quick.
- Mary Hart tries to interview Liz, but Intercontinental champion Randy Savage gets involved, and hogs the spotlight. How I miss the Macho Man. See it’s small, non-drawn out little segments like this that build a guys character (selfish prick, who treats his woman like dirt), and a twenty minute interview/beatdown is totally unnecessary. (Very true. If there’s one leftover from the Attitude Era that needs to be future endeavored it’s the twenty minute interviews) And guess what, Randy Savage got MASSIVELY over doing this act.
- King of the Ring Match: Harley Race vs. The Junkyard Dog: Winner is the king, and the loser must bow to him. Crowd is pretty pumped to see the JYD! Dog dominates to start, so Heenan gets involved early, which allows Race to take control. The match spills to the floor, where Race misses a falling headbutt from the apron to the floor. Good spot there. JYD pulls him back inside in style (flipping him over the ropes), then headbutts him back out in the same fashion! Slam back inside, and he hooks an abdominal stretch. Race hip tosses his way out, and hits a headbutt, but it hurts him more, since JYD has a hard head. Race flies over the top in a Flair flip, but Heenan gets involved again, and Race hits a belly to belly for the pin at 3:20. Race had his working boots on tonight, and but on a great show. And it was short. Everything so far has been kept short (which is smart), and the big matches will get more time later. Simple, and effective. ½*. Afterwards, the JYD gives a little bow, but gets his heat back, and beats up Race, then steals his royal robe. Crowd loves it, of course. (Race’s bumps carried this nicely for the quickie it was)
- Backstage, Vince is with Hulk Hogan, who gives a crazy interview about the main event. He’s really pumped up, and this was an EXCELLENT segment, showing how EPIC this match up is.
- The Rougeau Brothers vs. The Dream Team: Beefcake and Raymond start off, and Brutus gets atomic dropped. Double dropkick leads to Beefcake tagging, and Ray hits a bodypress for two on Greg. Jacques is in, but misses a flying bodypress, and takes a slam. Tag to Beefcake, who hammers away for a two count. Tag back to Valentine, as Bobby Heenan joins us in the broadcast booth. Valentine hooks a figure four, meanwhile, but Rougeau makes the ropes. Backdrop by Jacques, and a tag to Ray, who sleepers him. Heel miscommunication allows the Rougeaus to hit the cannonball spot, but Dino Bravo gets involved for the heels, and Valentine gets the pin at 3:58. ¼*, for a couple cute spots. (I liked this one significantly better during the BUExperience, which is kinda weird since I gave it a much higher rating during my original HITMAN383 rant, downgraded it here, and then upgraded it in the new one. Check back in ten years, it might hit three stars eventually) As the heels leave, Beefcake seems upset, and refuses to join them. He’s primed for a face turn with this situation, but they haven’t pulled the trigger yet here. Still, the undertones are clearly there. (Much like the gay undertones when he hangs out with Hogan)
- We see a review of the Piper/Adonis feud, where the Pit is destroyed, and the Flower Shop is destroyed, all leading to their fight here today. This was beyond a great angle.
- Hair vs. Hair Match: Roddy Piper vs. Adrian Adonis: This is Piper’s retirement match, which he actually stuck to for over two years. I think that’s a record for him. (That’s a record for pretty much anyone in wrestling, except for maybe Shawn Michaels) To say the crowd is pumped to see Piper would be like saying Ric Flair is an “okay” wrestler. (Bret Hart: so… they’re not very excited…?) For those who can’t read between the lines, that means that saying they’re pumped is a gross understatement. (Sorry, Bret) Slugfest to start, so Roddy takes the belt from his kilt, and (literally) whips ass with it. Adonis gets it away from him, however, and goes to work on Piper. Adonis takes a Flair flip to the floor, so Jimmy Hart tries to drag him to the locker rooms, so Roddy drags both inside, and rams their heads together. The crowd is just going insane. Piper dumps both of them, then brings Adonis in, and throws Jimmy AT him. Hart finally gets his revenge, however, and trips up the Hot Rod, drawing boos. Adonis goes to work, not doing anything too inspired. To the outside, Piper hits the timekeeper’s table. Not through it, however, since this IS 1987. Jimmy gets his licks in outside, but Piper still manages to scrap his way back into the ring. Adrian keeps pounding him inside, and Piper is on spaghetti legs, but keeps edging Adonis on. Harts response? Spray him in the face with perfume. HEY, watch out! You could blind a guy with that! Adrian hooks the sleeper, putting Piper down, but he lets off early, thinking he won it. That draws Beefcake back out to revive Piper, and HE hooks a sleeper, and Adonis is done at 6:07. The crowd goes wild, and Brutus Beefcake cements the face turn (and a new gimmick), by clipping Adonis’ hair! ¼*, but who cares? This was absolutely everything it was supposed to be, with Piper fighting back from adversity, a big feud, revenge on the heels, embarrassment for the heels, a face turn from Beefcake, and a successful retirement. What more could you want? On the way out, some fan jumps the rail, and hugs Piper. Roddy shrugs it off, shakes the guys hand, and leaves cooley, before security tackles the guy. Piper’s got class
- Intermission time, and the perfect spot for it, too. You have a big match to pump the crowd up, then take a break with everyone all pumped up, which definitely beats bleeding into an intermission. I just love WrestleMania III, it seems likes EVERYTHING was done right!
- Jesse Ventura shows up ringside, and demands that Howard Finkel introduce him to the crowd, which he does. This is like a yearly “ego tradition” for “The Body” every year. (A yearly thing that happens every year? You so cray-cray)
- Six Man Tag Team Match: The Hart Foundation & Danny Davis vs. The British Bulldogs & Tito Santana: (One thing that’s changed: in my formatting today, it’s always ‘single wrestler/tag team’ for six-man matches) The Harts were tag champs here, mostly thanks to the crooked referee Danny Davis (who also cost Tito his Intercontinental title to Savage over a year earlier), so there’s a lot of scores to be settled. The faces jump them before the bell, and gets rabidly cheered by the crowd for press slamming Davis over the top to the floor. Bret and Tito start, but do nothing, so Neidhart and Smith go, which goes well for Davey. Tag to Tito, who snags an armbar, but gets caught in the heel corner. He actually manages to escape without one heel tag, and gets to Smith. He gets beat up, however, so Bret tags in, misses a move, and has to deal with Dynamite. He quickly takes his sternum first bump, and a falling headbutt gets Kid two, thanks to the Anvil saving. Bret goes to work in the corner, but gets caught in a suplex attempt, so Neidhart runs in to nail him. The Harts have great tag team psychology, BTW, and should be watched by all aspiring tag wrestlers. The Harts hit a Demolition decapitator, and tag in Davis. He plays the heel perfectly, of course, and just gets in a kick before tagging Bret back in. The match is turning into a kick-punch fest, despite the fact that you have Bret Hart and the Dynamite Kid in there, with little bits of Davis getting cheap shots in. A slingshot splash hits the knees, however, and Santana gets the hot tag. He kills Danny, and catches him with the flying forearm. No cover, however, as he prefers to pound him. The crowd is just PUMPED for this! Figure four, but the Anvil saves. Hot tag to Davey, who lariats him. The crowd is just eating this all up. Great looking tombstone (Undertaker WISHES he could do it like that), and the vertical suplex follows. Running powerslam, but he uses some dumb psychology by doing it in the heel corner, which draws everyone in. In the brawl, Davis manages to get on top of Smith, who was whacked with the mega-phone for the pin at 8:50. Wrong ending, since the faces REALLY should have went over here, and the crowd reaction proves it. * ½, for a decent match. (Same rating I came up with in 2013, interestingly)
- Bobby Heenan and Andre the Giant give an interview about Hulk Hogan. Heenan, of course, is the best mouthpiece in the world, and really gets the whole thing over, as if this needed to get MORE over. Andre never says a word, of course, just standing there and looking extremely menacing. I love Heenan, and he’s great at getting this all over.
- A real plus to this show is that the dome is translucent, so natural light can come in, so at the top of the card it’s bright out, and progressively gets darker as it did in Detroit. That really builds up the anticipation to the main event, in artistic fashion, and perfectly sets the mood in each part it is needed. Even mother nature must we a fan of the WWF!
- Butch Reed vs. Koko B. Ware: I don’t think there was an issue here, this is probably just for the sake of putting something on. In the pre-match, Jesse brings up “Beyond the Mat” director Barry Blaustien, for whatever reason. Jesse claims that the “B” in Ware’s name stands for “Buckwheat.” (Oh, Jesse… how you ever made it in politics boggles the mind) Actually, he DOES kind of look like Buckwheat, now that I look at him. They don’t do much to start, until Koko hits a fabulous dropkick to knock Reed to the floor. He comes back in and kicks his ass, however, as the camera man pisses off Frankie the bird. (I had parrots growing up… they will fuck you up good for so much as looking at them the wrong way) Another dropkick by Koko gets two (yeah, I’m sure you’ll pin him with a DROPKICK!) (Hey, forcing him to kickout, even if it doesn’t score the fall, wears the opponent down), so he hits a small package for another two. Bodypress, but Reed rolls through with it for the win at 3:38. Really dull match, but atleast it was shot. DUD. Afterwards, Reed and manager Slick do a number on Ware, so Tito comes back out, and beats up Slick. Good for him, I guess.
- We get a review of the Steamboat/Savage feud, which saw Savage attack Steamboat, and viciously pound the neck (including use of the ringbell), which put the Dragon out for a while. It also scared the shit out of the fans, who ate it all up with a spoon. When he returned, George Steele was with him, still infatuated with Elizabeth, and that all leads to a match with Savage vs. Steamboat here, with Steele in one corner, and Liz in the other.
- WWF Intercontinental Title Match: Randy Savage vs. Ricky Steamboat: Savage has been the champion for over a year at this point. The pop for Steamboat is incredible, just showing how well done this whole thing was. They wrestle around to start, with Savage bailing out constantly to make sure Liz doesn’t get too close to Steele. (The more we learn about Randy Savage, the more I doubt whether that was even part of the script) Quick sequence allows Steamboat a couple deep armdrags, and a double choke toss. He chases him around on the floor, which is all a ploy by the champ, so nail him on the way back in. Smart move. Steamboat works the arm, so Savage catches him with a great elbow, then tosses him over the top to the floor. Savage won’t allow him back in, just to be a jerk really, then nails an elbow smash to the throat area. Good psychology there, since if you can’t breathe, you can’t wrestle. (Or live) Kneedrop to the throat for two, so Steamboat starts chopping away. He ties Macho in the ropes, and hammers way, so Randy kicks him down low, but gets caught in a bodypress for two. Another quick sequence gives Ricky a couple shoulderblocks for two, as it’s literally too fast to call. Savage tosses him over the top, so Ricky skin the cat back in (the very move that would end his career in 1994), only to get clotheslined back over by Savage! Great psychology there, showing no matter what Ricky does, Savage is on it. He dumps Ricky in the crowd, and goes in to rest, so Steele brings him back in, only to have Macho toss him again! Flying axehandle to the outside, and inside another one. It gets two, so he hits the flying necksnap on the ropes for two! Atomic drop gets two. Suplex for two, so Steamboat tries the chops, but gets caught in a gutwrench suplex for two. Side suplex fails, and Ricky backdrops Macho over the top to the floor. Ricky smartly brings him back in, and a flying chops gets three, but the feet are in the ropes. The crowd doesn’t realize, however, and pops like nuts. Steamboat keeps the offense of, and a back elbow gets two. These moves are SO incredibly crisp, and stiff that almost ANYTHING they do is a great move. Ricky with a sunset flip for two, and a roll up for two. Rolling cradle gets two. Small package gets two, although everyone thought it was three again. Slingshot into the post, and he gets cradled for two! Reverse roll up for two, so Randy rolls thorough for two! Randy responds by ramming him into the corner, and a series of reversals bumps the referee. Savage with a lariat, and he goes up, nailing the big elbow drop. No ref, however. Savage decides to get the ringbell (which but Steamboat out last time), and climbs to the top with it, but Steele pushes him off. Randy still tries a slam, but Ricky rolls through, and in the very move Ric Flair would beat him with in 1989, pins Savage to win the title at 14:35. A different kind of psychology in this one (not working a part for a finish, although working the throat to prevent breathing due to previous injury), and a spotfest that really is better than any TLC match (True story), with crisp, FAST paced offense, and tons of nearfalls. All aspiring wrestlers should watch this at least once. Probably the first ***** match of the golden age, and easily one of the best WrestleMania matches of ALL TIME! Even Gorilla and Jesse are in awe of it.
- Jake Roberts vs. The Honky Tonk Man: This is the equivalent of the Women’s title match at X-8, because it has NO business following the last one. Jake beats him up to start, but runs into a knee, and gets kicked at. Jake goes for the DDT, but he slips away, and the “action” spills to the outside. Jake eats rail down there, and gets pounded on every time he tries to get back in. Yawn. Inside, a slam, and a 2nd rope fist drop. They fight around for a long while longer, with nothing really notable happening, as the crowd sleeps. It all drags, until Jimmy Hart gets involved, and Honky rolls him up (with rope assistance) for the pin at 7:13. Afterwards, Jake’s second, Alice Cooper, gets to put the snake on Jimmy. I’m a bit hesitant to go into negative stars here, but some matches just BORE you so much, you have to. – ½*.
- Mean Gene comes out to announce the official attendance as 93,173, a NEW world indoor attendance record! It IS an absolutely mammoth crowd, and I’ve never seen anything like it EVER before. If only they had done WrestleMania VII a little better, maybe they could have topped it. Like I said, it’s been said that if this place was big enough, they could have easily packed 125,000 in for this one.
- Nikolai Volkoff & The Iron Sheik vs. The Killer Bees: Nikolai sings the Soviet anthem before, and the crowd PELTS the ring with trash, until Jim Duggan runs out to clean house, and pop the dome. His philosophy: “America is the land of the free, so you can’t sing your anthem!” Hey, I’m NO fan of the Soviets, and I never was/will be, but this IS a free country, and you can sing whatever you want. Everyone brawls to start, as the announcers call for the referee to restore some order. Today, it’s commonplace to start with all four guys inside. Anyway, the faces destroy the heels to start, with Sheik taking the brunt of the double team abuse. They focus on the arm, and hit a bunch of neat double-moves. The heels cheat to turn the tide, and pound Jim Brunzell. Sheik with a gutwrench suplex for two, and a jackhammer for two. He runs into a high knee however, and makes the blind tag to Blair. That forces Jim to continue to take a pounding, and Sheik puts him in the clutch, which draws in Duggan to nail him with the 2x4, and give the heels the DQ win at 5:42. He was probably just pissed that Sheik got into his special pre-WrestleMania stash, or something. (Gotta be at least 50/50 odds on that) Bad ending aside, this was actually a good, fast paced little match-up, **.
- Another Andre/Heenan interview, but this time, Andre speaks. He’s so calm in his delivery, it makes him even more scary. The point: yeah, Hogan’s dying.
- Review of the feud. Basically, Andre and Hulk were best buddies since Hogan came into the WWF, bust Andre got progressively jealous of the Hulkster. He then made a dramatic challenge to him, tearing his shirt and cross off his body, and got Hulk to agree to the match. This was one of the best-done feuds of ALL time, and the crowd reactions prove it.
- Hogan give another interview, and promises victory. DAMN, is Hulk big at this point.
- Main Event: WWF Title Match: Hulk Hogan vs. Andre the Giant: The building is now DARK, setting a great atmosphere for the main event. On the way out, Andre nearly gets booed out of the state, and gets pelted with trash. He still waves at the crowd like he’s a face, however, just showing how confident he is. Plus, on those little carts that drive them to the ring, he looks EVEN BIGGER, which is added height this guy doesn’t need. He’s pretty menacing as it is. Hogan gets a terrific reception, of course. Big staredown to start, of course, in one of the most famous shots in wrestling history. Pretty much every historic WWF tape since has featured it, in some way. (And still do) Hogan tries the slam right away, but Andre topples him for a near two count, which a lot of people felt was three. Hulk’s momentum is done right away, since his back is in deep shit, and Andre pounds that. The crowd is NOT pleased. Andre easily slams the champion, and then does it again, just to tease him, since Hogan couldn’t do it, and Andre can do it with such ease. He then walks over Hulk’s back, a spot that must have been quite painful for the champ. Hogan gets thrown into the corners a couple times, as Heenan coaches the Giant from the floor. Headbutts, but he misses one, and hits the corner, so Hogan hammers away. Andre reels, so Hulk rams him into the turnbuckle ten times. Big charge, but he runs right into Andre’s BIG boot. Bearhug, which actually pumps the crowd up, something a rest hold usually does not do. The arm drops twice, after quite the effort to escape, but he takes it up on the third, and pounds his way out, a feat with took him a lot of effort. He even sells the fact that Andre has a hard head by making it look like his hand hurts from punching him. (Well, he is stinky and wart infested, after all) A series of shoulderblocks fail to knock Andre over, so the Giant literally kicks him out of the ring to the floor. He follows, and tries a headbutt, but Hulk moves, and he hits post. Hogan exposes the floor, and dumbly tries a piledriver, but Andre weakly backdrops him on the “concrete.” More like the plywood, since they built the ring area on a platform. Inside, Hogan finally takes him down with a big clothesline, which alone drives the crowd into a frenzy. He hulks up, with Heenan having a fit, and hits the big slam!!! Leg drop, and Hogan retains at 11:35, with the crowd running absolutely wild. WOW! ¼*, but WHO CARES? This was like Rock-Hogan at X-8, the quality really means shit, this was a CLASSIC. Afterwards Hogan, goes into his usual pose routine, with all 93,173 eating it up with a spoon.
- Bottom Line: Match quality was essentially in the toilet for this one (minus one match), but who really cares? It IS the biggest WWF show of all time, and the main event may suck, but is requited viewing material for everyone who calls themselves fans. This is a classic stadium show, with a massive attendance, a great history making match, and Hogan vs. Andre! What more do you need to know? It’s also a pretty easy to find tape, so that makes it even more of a recommendation.
- Highly Recommended.
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