- Hey, it's Mean Gene ... and he's telling me Halloween
Havoc scares fans. Does he mean it sucks? Wanna hear the ULTRA stupid line he
uses? "Hello fans ... or should I say Halloween." I can tell this
tape will be bad already. He also tells me this tape will haunt me forever. (This
was originally written in the Summer of 1999)
I use this system: ***** - Excellent **** - Very Good *** -
Good **- Okay * - Decent DUD - Awful.
- 1989 starts with Sting & Flair vs. Muta & Funk
in a Thunderdome cage match. The entrance area sucks. The faces (Flair
& Sting) get a good pop. Flair has the belt here, and a HUGE pop. Flair and
Funk start and to basic stuff. You know, slams, clotheslines, chops. I always
found it stupid to have them tag in this kind of match. Why not just mayhem.
Eventually Sting is in, and he uses the cage for a while. Then we cut to
Muta/Sting, and Sting uses more cage. Muta and Funk double team Sting to
follow. Cut to a pier six, which Sting wins on Muta, then Flair locks the
figure 4. He lets off, and more fighting occurs. Eventually Sting dives off the
cage on Funk, and cleans house. Flair with the Figure 4 on Funk, while Sting
splashes Terry from up top. Both teams managers come in, and the faces manager
(un named) (Ole Anderson?)
hits the heels manager, and the towel goes flying out of his hand, indicating a
submission. Faces win, to a monster pop. Cheep ending. Match is nothing, but
was a good blowoff from Great American Bash. ** 1/4.
- Next is 1990 with the Steiners & the Nasty's for
the US
Tag Belts. This match MADE both teams, lets see how good it really is. The
orange ring is retarded. (Sorry, this kid is a moron. The Halloween
Havoc 1990 set (complete with orange ring) is one of the greatest wrestling
sets of all time) Pier six to start, with no one really winning. Cut to
the ring, where both teams do offense, and the Steiner Bulldog follows. Cut to
more Scott and Rick offense. Nasty's with a spike piledriver, but no count, and
Rick uses a chair behind the ref's back. Cut to Saggs with a Boston crap (Not a typo, he can't do this
hold) on Scott. Cut to Scott crap, and a hot tag. Rick's cleans house on both
Nasty's, and almost pins Knobs. Everyone's in, and the Steiners win that, and a
Frankenstiner finishes it for the Steiners. Huge pop. Match was okay, but
short. Not what it's made out to be. **.
- More 1990 with Sting vs. Sid Vicious for the World
title. Joy. They talk about how much bigger Sid is, but in a stare down, he
really isn't much bigger. Sid dominates the shit out of Sting, but nothing is
sold. Both guys play around with their forms of "offense" Eventually
Sid gets a powerslam for 1. More fighting and Sting misses the Stinger splash.
Cut to Stings comeback, but Sid stops that, and we cut to Sid killing Sting on
the ramp. Weak clothesline by Sting follows, and more offensive stuff on the
floor. Flair and Arn are out, and Sid and Sting casually walk to the back.
"Sting" and Sid comes back, and Sid pins him. New champ! HUGE pop for
Sid. They love him. But here comes Sting, and he beats Sid with a small package
to retain. Less pop than Sid. You see it was a FAKE Sting. Nine years later in
WCW fake Sting's are STILL popular, only this one looked real. This is okay. **
1/4. (I
actually liked that whole fake Sting deal, since it was still the first time,
and not completely done to death like it would be in the nWo days. They
probably should have kept the belt on Sid for a while to setup a rematch
instead of simply revealing the fake two minutes later, though (you could even
have it be a Black Scorpion ploy instead of a Horsemen one, then have Sting
beat Scorpion at Starrcade to blow off that feud, before moving on to getting
the belt back from Sid in early ’91))
- 1991 comes up next, with Vader, the Butcher, Cactus
Jack and The Diamond Studd (Scott Hall) vs. Sting, El Giante, and the Steiners
in a "Chamber of Horrors" match. Gimmick? Thunderdome cage, and
the way to win is to put your opponent in an electric chair and pull the
switch. Goofy entrance here. After some crappy fighting, everyone stops, as the
"Chair of torture" comes down to the ring (on a chord.) More
fighting. This is senseless. More "brawling" Who thought of this as
the opener of Havoc '91? Dusty Rhodes? (Probably,
actually) Eventually, Butcher puts Rick in the chair, and Cactus is by
the switch. He had 6 good seconds to pull it, but didn't. Is wrestling fake?
NEVER. (Note: That was sarcasm) But wait... Rick turns the tables, and puts old
fat ass is the chair. Cactus stales for an hour, and pulls the switch. And we
get a fried turkey. You can see Jack look over, and see the Butcher in the
chair. Oh G-D. Fake looking "electric" chair spot, and cheep
fireworks shoot out of the chair. This was crap. Pure crap. Can't really rate
it though, so I'll go DUD. (And this was even without ever mentioning
the whole ‘switch accidentally flips too early’ gaffe, with Cactus Jack trying
his best to move it back without anyone noticing)
- We follow with 1992, as Jake Roberts battles Sting in a
"Spin the Wheel make the Deal" match, which ends up a "Coal
Miners Glove Match." It's like a Nightstick match. Each guy tires for the
glove early, and no one gets it. They both use there shit offense on eachother,
in and out of the ring. That pole is WAY to high. More offense from them both.
Did I mention this is pretty boring? Eventually Sting misses the Stinger
splash, and Jake climbs the pole, but Sting pulls him off, and punches him.
Cactus Jack runs out, and gives Jake the snake, while Sting climbs that ULTRA
HIGH pole. Sting gets the glove, and uses it to win. Jake this hold the snake
on his face (this is so fake) and they pretend he's being bitten. This match
was nothing. * 1/4.
- '93 follows and Rude meets Flair for the (As Scott
explained it to me) "WCW/NWA World/International/Gold Belt." (These
series of rants were originally written for Scott Keith’s website in 1999, and
posted there as well as on my own site) Terry Taylor is the ref. Wasn't
there a really good Vader/Cactus Jack match on this show? (Yeah, but both guys were in the
WWF by 1999, so I can understand wanting to showcase this instead)
Anyway, Flair offense (with woo's and chops) go here. Rude gets in his offense
at various points too. Flair flip is worked in, and the camera guy gets bumped.
Cut to a Rude rest hold. (This goes in the "Cut this" category) More
basic offense. Flair has knux, and pins Rude to a major pop. But another ref.
DQ's Flair for using the knux, and Rude wins to a "Bullshit" chant.
Flair steels the useless belt, while Rude steels Fifi (Flair's girl). Oh well.
Flair saves her, and Rude steels the gold. Nothing special, but nothing
extremely bad. **.
- Gene kisses Hogan's butt (not literally, thank G-D.)
- 1994, Flair vs. Hogan in a cage for the Belt. Mr. T
refs. He draws cheep heat by wearing a Red Wings jacket (it's in Detroit.) (Today,
if you hear a ‘major pop’ in Detroit,
best to hit the deck, just in case) Fans cheer Flair. A MAJOR pop. This
is dubbed a career match. He has Sherri. Hogan gets an equal pop but not much
more. Wanna know about this match? Read my "Best of Bash at the
Beach" rant. It's basically the same match... but with a cage. Just like
in 1999, where they did it at SuperBrawl IX, then the same thing at Uncensored
'99, just with a cage. It's also a lot like Hogan/Vader from Bash '95, which is
also on above mentioned rant. BTW, the Masked Man interferes in this.
Eventually the big leg hits, and Hogan wins to a good pop. It's a good match,
like the Bash '94 one, since it's the same thing. ****.
- '95 hits us with Hogan vs. Giant in a Monster Truck
match. I won't go over this. It's so stupid. I can't mention how dumb this
is. (Aren’t
you literally doing just that?) Hogan eventually wins. Both guys climb
out, and fight on the roof. Hogan tosses Giant off the roof. Stupid looking at
that. We cut to the inside of the building, where Hogan "cheaply"
apologizes for the "death." (I love how he was, basically, ‘my bad about
that whole murder thing, guys...’ and that was that) Giant then walks
out, and no one cares. Hogan looks scared. Did I mention how stupid this is?
This is a copy of Hogan/Andre only worse and stupider. BTW, this is for the
belt. Hogan is in the prelude to Hollywood
here, wearing all black. Ends by the slam, and the big leg. But Jimmy Hart
(Hogan's manager) hits the ref. so there's so count. Hart then clocks Hulk with
the belt, and Giant gets a Bear Hug while the DOD beats him up. A big Mummy
comes out, and "Hugs" Hulk.... while vibrating. Luger then puts Hogan
in the rack. Giant wins by DQ. - **.
- '96 gives us (great) Hogan vs. Macho Man for the Belt.
Hulk has that hair piece here. Hogan is in the Hollywood
gimmick and has ZERO heat. ZERO. Savage has less. Why are they booked in a
title match? Oh yeah, it's WCW. Stupid Savage offense (which is like Pipers ...
punches) follows. Some stupid hair piece spots follow. WHY!?!? Hogan gets in some
of his shit, and taunts Liz. Hogan's ass is exposed. Ewww! I think that's the
first time. Hogan threatens Liz, and gets heat. Elbow by Savage and nWo ref.
Nick Patrick count to 2 and stops. Giant comes out, and does shit to Macho, and
puts Hogan on top, and Nick counts 3. Yawn. From Seinfelds "Soup
Nazi" NEXT! DUD.
- '97, with, as Scott calls it, "Geriatric Park II,
"The Lost Workrate" with Piper and Hogan in the THIRD Thunderdome
cage match on this tape. The heat is low on both sides. Piper
"spanks" Hogan, and bites his ass. Is he ... you know ... gay? (No,
but the whole ‘babyface spanks Hulk Hogan’ thing that went on all the time in
this era of WCW was (and remains) really weird and awkward – the worst offender
undoubtedly Giant at Spring Stampede ’98) Piper's shitty offense starts
as he *punches* and kicks. Both guys escape the cage. So ... who wins? They
said to win, you have to get out. Hulk tries to run and a fake Sting stops him.
Hogan proceeds to whip Piper in the ring, and more Hogan offense. Another
"Sting" runs out, and Macho climbs that HUGE cage and tries to dive
on Piper (That is one HELL of a drop) but misses and hits Hogan. (That
spot was incredible. Savage was a mad man) Piper beats up Macho, and
puts Hogan in the sleeper. Piper wins and Savage beats his ass. Eric runs out,
and helps the beating while a "We want Sting" chant is huge. As you
can guess, this sucked. BTW, they said you can only win by escaping, and Piper
didn't. The Highlight of this? The drop Savage does from the top. Whoa for that
drop. Match? - ** 1/2.
- Gene tells us he hopes the tape scared us. Oh, did it
ever.
- Bottom Line: I've never seen so much crap on one show
(Maybe GAB '91). Well, I can't FULLY complain. I mean some stuff was okay
(Stiners/Nasty's, Flair/Rude, Sting/Sid, Flair/Hogan) but none of those where
VERY good. Just okay. Hogan/Flair was the best one here, and that's saying a
lot.
Mild Recommendation to avoid,
NOTICE, the word MILD.
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