WWF Royal Rumble 1988 (Version II)

Original Airdate: January 24, 1988

From Hamilton, Ontario, Canada; Your Hosts are Vince McMahon and Jesse Ventura

Opening Match: Ricky Steamboat v Rick Rude: Rude hammers him to start, unloading with forearms, but throwing the Dragon over the top fails, and Ricky backdrops him to the outside. Inside, Rick controls a test-of-strength, but Steamboat counters out into an armbar. He holds onto that for a long while, until Rude slugs free, but loses a criss cross - getting armdragged into another armbar. Rick uses a backelbow to escape, and this time is able to catch Steamboat with a knee during a criss cross. To the outside, Rude slams him on the floor, then brings him back in with a vertical suplex for two. Reverse chinlock, but Ricky uses an electric chair to escape - only for a splash follow-up to hit Rude's knees. Rick stays on him with an atomic drop for two, then goes back to the reverse chinlock. Steamboat escapes and unloads a long series of turnbuckle smashes to take control, and a snapmare sets up a falling chop for two. Rick tries a headlock, but Steamboat counters with a headscissors, and a bridging reversal sequence ends in the Dragon hooking a backslide for two. Steamboat with a schoolboy for two, and a somersault cradle gets two. Inside cradle is reversed by Rude for two, then reversed back by Steamboat for two. Rick throws a clothesline for two, but a vertical suplex gets reversed. Steamboat goes for the kill with the flying bodypress, but Rude shoves the referee into his flight path - getting himself disqualified at 17:41. This was very long, NWA-ish stuff for the WWF in 1988 - especially for an opener on a TV special. Took a long while to really get going, but it was fantastic once they got past all the armbarring. * ¼ (Original rating: * ¼)

Dino Bravo joins Gene Okerlund and Jesse Ventura for a podium interview, where he sets the world bench press record of 715 pounds - though not without some help from Jesse. This was a really long segment (over fifteen minutes), where a pre-taped highlight reel would have been much better suited

WWF Women's Tag Team Title 2/3 Falls Match: The Glamour Girls v The Jumping Bomb Angels: Yep, there was actually a Women's tag title back then. The Bomb Angels attack, but Leilani Kai manages to control Itsuki Yamazaki as the dust settles. Full disclosure: I don't know which Angel is which, and neither do the announcers ('one of the Bomb Angels'; 'the Bomb Angel in pink' are the calls I have to work with), so forgive me if I mix them up. For the record, I'm calling the one in pink Yamazaki, and the one in red Tateno. Tag to Judy Martin with a bodyslam and a splash for two, but Yamazaki schoolgirls her for two. Tag to Noriyo Tateno for a piledriver on Martin for two, then back to Yamazaki for a bodyscissors. Bodypress, but Martin catches her with a slam, and tags. Kai walks into a high knee, then Yamazaki passes. Tateno with a jumping forearm and a dropkick for two, and she slaps on an abdominal stretch - Martin breaking. Yamazaki responds by dropkicking her, and the Angels lock on stereo figure fours. The Angels cut the ring in half on Kai, but she manages to escape an STF to tag. Martin hammers Tateno with kicks, and a cheap shot from Kai on the apron allows her a modified flapjack for the pin at 6:11. The Girls continue to work over Tateno, as the announcers try to figure out how to pronounce their names. 'I think it's 'Norino'' 'I dunno, that sounds Italian to me' 'She's not Italian.' Brawl breaks out, and Tateno catches Martin with a sunset flip at 8:05 to tie it up. Tateno is unable to tag, however, and the Girls go back to work. She manages an enzuigiri to allow the tag, but Judy blocks a fisherman's (fisherwoman's?) suplex from Yamazaki. Yamazaki manages a sloppy backslide, but Martin doesn't even do he the courtesy of staying down for a one count. Good for her. Slingshot follows, as the champs cut the ring in half on their new, non-Italian victim. Tateno comes in with a bodyslam to setup a flying kneedrop from Yamazaki for two, and a bodyslam on Martin gets two. Yamazaki with a bridging double-underhook suplex for two, and Tateno with a bodypress for two. Tateno with a bodyslam to setup a 2^nd rope senton splash, but Judy rolls out of the way. She gets a two count out of it, but Yamazaki tags in with a 2^nd rope backelbow for two. Kai tries to intervene, but the Angels unload a tandem missile dropkick on Martin to win the title at 13:56. A lot of this stuff was groundbreaking for 1988, but women's tag wrestling from this era has never been my cup of tea. Much like lucha libre, I can appreciate the work, but not the style. ** (Original rating: * ¼)

Review of the Hogan/Andre feud, including the newest wrinkle, as Ted DiBiase attempts to buy the WWF Title off of Hulk Hogan - and when he refuses, getting Andre to agree to sell him the belt after he beats Hogan for it

Gene Okerlund and WWF President Jack Tunney host an in-ring contract signing between Hulk Hogan and Andre the Giant for their big rematch scheduled for the first Main Event special the next month. These two are such masters of crowd control, that even the way Andre puts his hands in his pockets is strained with tension. As Ted DiBiase (who had not only made a deal with Andre for the belt, but also bought the rights to his contract from Bobby Heenan earlier in the month as well) taunts him relentlessly, Hulk signs - as does the Giant. And, of course, like every other contract signing in wrestling history, it ends with a beat down. This one woman in the front row's shocked reaction is really awesome, though. I mean, what was she expecting?

Main Event: Royal Rumble Match: Only twenty competitors, and ninety second intervals (announced at two minutes, but actually closer to ninety seconds). Bret Hart draws #1 and Tito Santana gets #2 - though they're both already in the ring during the introductions, so we don't get the debut of Howard Finkel's always awesome 'let us all find out' call. Hart hammers Tostito in the corner, but a turnbuckle smash gets reversed. Tito hammers him with some mounted punches (to cover up an attempted pinfall cover), but Hart takes over with an inverted atomic drop and a 2^nd rope pointed elbowdrop. #3 is Butch Reed, as Santana catches Hart with the Diving Forearm. Reed pounds Santana, but fails to toss him, so Bret lends a hand for some double-teaming. #4 is Jim Neidhart, just as Tito starts making a comeback. Unfortunately for him, he's no match for three guys, and the Harts deliver a backbreaker/2^nd rope pointed elbowdrop combo, with Reed hilariously playing the unwanted third wheel. They nearly manage to dump Tito, but #5 draw Jake Roberts saves - tossing Reed in the process. He unloads on the Foundation, but #6 entrant Harley Race helps turn the tide for the heel side. #7 is Jim Brunzell, and he goes right for the Harts. He quite nearly dumps Bret with Tito's help, but the Anvil saves. #8 is Sam Houston, and he goes for the Harts as well, and tags Harley with a few shots in the corner. As Houston and Brunzell team up to work over Race in the corner, the Foundation are able to shoot off a double-team, and eliminate Santana. #9 is Danny Davis, and he slugs it out with Sam until Jake breaks it up by side suplexing him. Boris Zhukov draws #10, and goes after Houston. Some bodies need to start getting dumped here. #11 is Don Muraco, though Nikolai Volkoff runs down as well, apparently thinking it's his turn already. Muraco kicks his ass on the floor, as Jake and Brunzell dump his partner, Boris. #12 is indeed Volkoff, but it's too little too late for the Russians. Muraco tosses Race, as #13 draw Jim Duggan joins the fray - going right for Neidhart. #14 is Ron Bass, and he makes about as much of an impression as you'd expect. Brunzell gets tossed, but there's still far too many guys in the ring, and we need someone to start clearing the deadwood. And with Hogan and Andre both not in the match, I'm not sure what they're waiting for. B. Brian Blair draws #15, and does nothing of note. Hillbilly Jim draws #16, and immediately dumps Neidhart, then goes after Davis. Sam Houston gets dumped by Bass as #17 draw Dino Bravo enters, and Muraco eliminates Hart - who sets the first ever longevity record. #18 is the Ultimate Warrior, still very early into his run. He'd be a good choice to clear some bodies, but instead he just slugs it out with Dino Bravo. #18 is One Man Gang, and he dumps Blair, then tosses Roberts as well. #20 draw Junkyard Dog rounds out the field, as Duggan backdrops Volkoff out. Warrior actually resorts to an eyerake to beat Danny Davis up, which just goes to show how green he still was at this point. He gets dumped by Gang and Bravo shortly thereafter. Duggan clotheslines Davis out, as Bass eliminates JYD. Man, Bass is doing far better than I would have expected. And then, as if on cue, Muraco dumps him. That leaves Muraco, Duggan, Bravo, and Gang as the final four, and Hacksaw eats an avalanche from the Gang. Muraco tries to dropkick Gang out, but gets stomped down by Dino, and eliminated. That leaves babyface Duggan alone with the two heels, but he fights valiantly. Bravo and Gang double-team, but a miscommunication ends in Dino getting clotheslined out. Hacksaw capitalizes by hammering away, but he telegraphs a backdrop, and gets clobbered. Gang tries to clothesline him out, but Duggan ducks, and Gang is done at 33:26. Obviously they were still working out what the Rumble even was at this point, but one thing that really hurt this one was a noticeable lack of star power. With no Hogan, no Andre, no Savage, no DiBiase in there, it was mostly JTTS guys, and the match fell flat without someone in there to clear out deadwood. * ¼ (Original rating: * ½)

Hulk Hogan comes back out for a podium interview, and he claims that none of his Hulkamaniacs would ever sell out and that '(he) won't either.' Yeah, and Santa with Muscles was made for the brilliant script and intricate plot, right?

2/3 Falls Match: The Young Stallions v The Islanders: Enough with the two-out-of-three-falls bullshit, 80s! Kind of weird that the Rumble match didn't close the show. They wouldn't try that trick again until 1996. Jim powers starts with Tama, and gets stalled for a bit. He manages to catch Tama with a bodyslam, and the Islander bails to the floor. Back in, Tama suckers him into a cheap shot during a handshake, but Powers sees it coming, and delivers an atomic drop. The Stallions pinball Tama for a bit, but Powers misses a cross corner charge, and Haku tags. Jim manages to pass to Paul Roma before Haku can get his hands on him, however. Haku wins a criss cross with a sloppy armdrag, but Roma wins another with a bodypress for two. Tag to Powers for a tandem backelbow for two, but Tama is able to snapmare Jim over, then bodyslam him. The Islanders go to work on Powers, but a double-knockout spot allows the tag back to Roma. He's a house of fire on Tama with a gorgeous dropkick for two, but gets tossed over the top - landing badly on his knee, and getting counted out at 7:54. Roma's knee is all messed up now, so we stop to do a podium interview with Ted DiBiase and Andre the Giant as they determine whether or not he's fit to continue. Back to business with Roma and Tama, and naturally Tama goes right for the knee. The Islanders try cutting the ring in half, but Paul sacrifices his knee to block a splash, and tags. Powers unloads turnbuckle smashes on Haku, and a cross corner whip sets up a clothesline for two. Dropkick gets two, and a vertical suplex is worth two. Backelbow for two, but Haku swipes at him to cut the attack off, and tags. The Islanders tandem headbutt Powers down as they take over, and Haku delivers a backbreaker for two. Tama with a jumping backelbow followed by a hiptoss for two, and Haku adds a dropkick for two. Gutwrench slam gets two, but a dropkick misses, and Roma gets the hot tag. He comes in hot, but the knee prevents him from doing much, and a half-crab finishes him off at 15:05. A lot of the crowd was already clearing out during this one, but it was a strong match, though the long stoppage really hurt the flow. ** ½ (Original rating: *)

BUExperience: Pretty forgettable for the most part, aside from the first ever Rumble and the contract signing

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