Sunday, December 6, 2015

HITMAN383 Rant for WCW Clash of the Champions XXXIII



- Back to when the nWo just started ... it's WCW Clash of the Champions from late 1996. (AKA Clash XXXIII from August 1996, in the show’s dying days) Let's go back to the LAST TIME a big time face turned heel, and why he does it *SO* much better than Goldberg. (The Goldberg heel turn reference means this was originally written in the summer of 2000)


- BTW, I use this system: ***** - Excellent **** - Great *** - Good **- Okay * - Decent DUD - Awful.

- Video showing the nWo's reign of terror on everyone in WCW since forming. From Beefcake (BOOTY Man~!) to Savage to Flair, setting up Hogan/Ric.

- Live from Denver, Colorado.

- Your Hosts are Tony Shavonie and Bobby Heenan. Mike Tenay pops in for some matches.

- Highlights from Nitro where Sting and Luger were fighting the Outsiders, and the Horsemen run in to chase the nWo away. This was during WCW's good days.

- Opening Match: WCW Crusierweight title, Rey Mysterio, Jr. vs. Dean Malenko: Mike Tenay joins the commentators for this. Rey still has the mask here, so this shouldn't suck. (More accurately: “Rey hasn’t destroyed his knee yet, so this shouldn’t suck”) Dean waists no time jumping him, and hitting a bunch of crisp moves, including a sweet snap suplex. Rey with the Jericho drop-kick from the top, and a headscissors on the floor. Wrestling sequence follows drawing "oooh's" from the crowd, and Rey hits a moonsault for two. Dean bails, and runs back in, which backfires as Rey hits a droptoe hold. Dean quickly comes back, and nearly kills Rey with a stun gun. That was VICIOUS. He shows psychology, following up with a hard brainbuster. Rey's speed allows him a small package for two, but Malenko overpowers him for control. We go to commercial as Dean hooks a chinlock. During commercial Jimmy Hart shills WCW HOG WILD merchandise, baby! Back, as Dean nearly kills him again with a stun gun, but Rey flips back, and a long reversal sequence gets Rey two. Malenko locks a leg lock for a bit, but Mysterio makes the ropes. Dean is a true Iceman at this point, as he murders him without much feeling. Dean bumps to the floor, and Rey hits a Senton bomb to the floor. Whoa. Rey then moonsaults off the guard rail, wowing the crowd. PUT THE MASK BACK ON HIM. They head in, and a springboard drop-kick hits. Rey continues to control, pulling out a rana. They go to the top, and Dean puts him in firemen's carry position for a gut buster. Holy crap! It gets 3, but the ref. see's the feet were on the ropes, and we re-start. Rey comes from behind and hits a quick victory roll for 3. Wow, ****. Great way to open.

- Glacier promo.

- V.K. Wallstreet vs. Jim Duggan: Great, a **** match, and now Duggan. Wallstreet is IRS, of course. Say what you will about Jim, he gets great heat. Wallstreet works the arm to start, but technical master Jim Duggan comes back with smashing his head to the corner, and yelling "USA" a lot. Criss cross won by Duggan, and he tries the 3 point stance, but VK bails. Jim drags him back, but he cheats to win, and stomps on Duggan. It's chinlock time, baby~! Jim can't even sell a chinlock right. Dear G-D. Stunner by Duggan, and it's more right hands. This leads to a big slam, and Jim grabs tape from his tights, and tapes his fist. He goes to hit VK, but while the ref. complains, Wallstreet rolls him up for 3. DUD. Jim then yells "THIS STINKS!" about 10 times. I agree. (I still do impressions of Duggan from this show from time to time to express disgust and/or foul smells, though usually not around people who understand the reference. Which likely makes them think I’m as stupid as I thought Duggan was. But, whatever, worth it)

- Konan vs. Ultimo Dragon: Konan isn't "K-dog" yet, as he still wears a mask to the ring, and NORMAL ring attire instead of pants 10 times to big, and thug wear. Wrestling sequence to start, and Dragon flips around to escape a head scissors. Konan uses his strength, and hooks a SUBMISSION hold. Whoa, don't see THAT today. Dragon bails, and then kicks Konan's ass. *HE* bails, and Dragon attacks from the top. Muta-esqe moonsault, for two. Dragon caries a reversal sequence, but Konan wins it for 3. That was quick. DUD.

- Meng vs. "Macho Man" Randy Savage: (Odd that I actually put “Macho Man” in the match title. I almost never add in nicknames) Savage, who was attacked by Hogan on Nitro and destroyed with a chair (I mean HOGAN actually hit a vicious chair shot), doesn't show up. Mean Gene walks out, and tells Nick Patrick (who was starting his heel turn at this point) that Savage isn't here, and Meng wins by forfeit. Riiiight.

- The Dungeon of Doom comes out, and talks about how Hogan is scum, and even bring up the AWA. Then, that Wolverine runs out, and drools all over the place. Who was that? Benoit?

- Bull Nakano vs. Madusa: Madusa ALREADY ain't hot .. at all. She misses a drop-kick to start, and Bull does the hair slam spot a few time. Ouch. She grabs nunchucks, and beats her with them. She also growls a lot. Madusa comes back with something that slightly resembles a moonsault, then does some hair slams of her own. Bull with an Earthquake-esqe butt bomb for two, and then Madusa misses a splash onto Sonny Ono. Okay. Heel Miscommunication spot leads to a roll up for a Madusa win. 1/4 *. (The differences between their WWF matches in 1994 and their WCW matches in 1996 are so vast it’s almost hard to believe it’s the same two workers)

- Gene is with Flair, Liz and Woman. Ric cuts a promo on the Main Event (good one too), as Woman fondles Mean Gene. Why does she always do that? (Because it was funny)  From Sullivan to Benoit to ... Gene Okerlund? Slut. (RIP)

- WCW Battle Bowl Title, Diamond Dallas Page vs. Eddie Guerrero: LATINO HEAT~! Eddie gets BIG heat, and DDP gets zero. This is over the battlebowl ring DDP won (but cheated to do so) against Eddie. DDP starts with power, but Eddie speeds up, and gets a flying head scissors off a criss cross. Big drop-kick follows, but he misses a blind charge (hard) and DDP stomps the crap out of him. Big gut buster follows, and then a tilt-a-whirl for 2. CHINLOCK TIME! Page was actually trying then, as he puts his feet on the ropes. Hey, if you want to use the chinlock, do it in style. They trade some big punches (Eddie wins), and he hits a spin kick. Flying senton follows for two. DDP gets a quick jaw breaker, and a sit-down powerbomb. Ouch. Page manhandles him, but Eddie gets a quick frogsplash for 3, and the Battlebowl ring. Page then Diamond Cut's him three times (one from the top) and gets his first pop. So it's noted, it's *THAT* move that made him over. Without the Diamond Cutter, he'd never have gotten so big. Match was pretty good, ** 3/4. Had it been longer, it might have been much better.

- Hogan comes out, and abuses Mean Gene for insulting him earlier. Heel Hogan was always fun, as he goes after Flair. Good promo actually.

- Chris Benoit vs. The Giant: Benoit has Liz and Woman. Guess she got sick of Gene already. (In hindsight, she probably should have stuck with Okerlund)  According to Heenan, before the heel turn, Gene bent over for Hogan. Riiiight. Giant drop-kicks (!!!) Benoit to start, and hits the single greatest chokeslam EVER for 3. That was quick. 1/4 *, just for a drop-kick and hitting *THE* greatest chokeslam I've ever seen. (Yeah, for serious, that chokeslam was crazy)

- WCW World Tag Team titles, Triangle Match, Harlem Heat vs. The Steiner Brothers vs. Sting and Lex Luger: Scott's pretty "Poppa Pump-ish" at this point. Luger and Sting look pretty unmotivated in their entrance, lets see how they do during the match. Heat have Sherri (and credibility) at this point. Booker starts with Scott, and Steiner dominates him to start. Booker gets a knee in to get control, and it's Harlem sidekick, baby! Booker goes upstairs, but Steiner crotches him, and Luger clotheslines him. Big worthless Stevie Ray tagged in, and Luger is too. Ray blitz's him to start, but misses a punch in the corner, and Lex kicks the crap out of him. Rick blind tags in, and takes both guys out, then hits the "Neck Breaking" bulldog off the top. He and Lex have a shoving match, and Ray takes control. Booker back in, as we go to commercial. Back as Rick controls Booker. Sting blind tags, and hits a Steamboat-esqe top rope chop, and tosses Booker to the floor. Back in, and Sting with a press slam. I miss old Sting. (Of course, now in 2015, we get a much more literal version of “old” Sting)  Lex in, and he works the back. Good psychology by Lex, as he does moves FOCUSING ON THE INJURED PART. Don't see that anymore. After some lumbering, Scott and Sting have a go, which Scott wins, but Sting gets a big stun gun off a criss cross. He follows with a flying bodypress, and Rick makes the save. Pier six breaks out, but Nick Patrick (starting his heel turn at that time) breaks it up. Tiger suplex by Scott, and Rick goes to chokes. Luger gets in, and murders Steiner, but a big release German suplex turns the tide. Scotty comes in, and suplexes away. Lex turns a bodypress into the rack and a big brawl breaks out with everyone. In the ring, Booker hammers Scott, while everyone else brawls in the isle. Frankensteiner hits, and Nick counts two, but then looks over to see the Outsider's in the isle and calls for the bell. Terrible ending, as they were still establishing him as a tweener. Okay-ish, * 3/4.

- Main Event, WCW World Title, Hollywood Hulk Hogan vs. Ric Flair: Flair gets some good heat, and Hogan is booed. When they originally spray painted the belt, it was a cool moment. But it's been repeated so many times, it's stupid today. (I didn’t know this at the time, but unbelievably it was the same physical belt from when Flair debuted it in the mid-80s all the way up until the dying days of WCW, when the original was swapped out for a cast copy made by the prop department (to put that in perspective, the WWF had literally dozens of different ‘Winged Eagle’ belts made and used over the years). It then disappeared for almost fifteen years (prevailing rumors are that Scott Steiner had it) until resurfacing when belt maker Dave Millican got a hold of it, and restored it)  Crowd is hot for this. Flair goes to the headlock to start, and Hogan actually works the old Bret/Hennig spot, where he rolls over and gets two counts with it. (Yeah, that’s not really an ‘old Bret/Hennig spot,’ kid)  At least he's trying. Hulk escapes, and places Ric on the top. Flair smacks him though, and it's stall time. Hogan then WRESTLES him. Weird to see. Ric comes forth with chops and punches drawing heat. Hogan bails, and SELLS~! Flair follows out, and continues to kill him. Back in, and Hogan gets a test of strength, but Flair's the dirtiest player in the game, biting the fingers. More chops, and then Flair takes a Flair flip to the floor. The fans cheer Hogan, but unlike Goldberg, he doesn't play to them, but rather taunts them and assaults Ric Flair. He *KNEW^ how to play a dominating, cowardly heel who cheats to win. Hopefully Bill will learn. (Not so much)  Back inside, and another Flair flip, but Ric outsmarts him, and hits a hanging vertical suplex. Hogan no sells, and goes thru the usual Hogan routine (drawing big face pops). The big leg misses, and Slick Ric hooks the figure four getting a big face reaction. From the hold, Hogan pulls the ref. down and the Outsiders run in to murder Flair. In comes the Horsemen and Sting/Luger to fight. They chase the nWo away, and Flair gets a DQ win, but no title. Match was decent, but pretty short. *.

- The announcers rap up, and hype WCW Saturday Night. You know ... when the show mattered. (Yeah, even by this point it didn’t even really matter anymore)

- Bottom Line: Well, the show started well enough, with a great Malenko/Mysterio match, and then went into a trend of "okay - bad" matches the rest of the night. DDP/Eddie is pretty good though, and the angle with the nWo throughout the show is pretty entertaining. Not a bad Clash, but not a great one either. (This was basically just an episode of Nitro)

Mildly Recommended.

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