WCW Slamboree 1999

From St. Louis, Missouri; Your Hosts are Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, and Bobby Heenan.

Opening WCW World Tag Team Title Triangle Match: Rey Mysterio Jr and Billy Kidman v Chris Benoit and Dean Malenko v Raven and Saturn: In this case, Triangle rules mean one man from each team at a time, so we get Kidman, Malenko, and Saturn to start. Everyone gangs up on Malenko right away, and Kidman dropkicks him out of the ring. Benoit runs in, but also gets dropkicked out, and Saturn doesn't waste another second turning on Kidman, and overhead suplexing him over the top, in a nice spot. Dean slides back in and dropkicks Saturn for two, then tags Benoit to German suplex Kidman into a bridge for two. Tag to Raven with a suplex on Benoit, but Rey springboard dropkicks him, and gives Benoit a rana. Slingshot legdrop on Benoit hits, but Raven dives into a cover for two. Nice. Benoit and Kidman double-team Raven for a forward-falling suplex across the top rope, and Kidman gets turned on again when Chris pops him with a chop. Billy fires back with a well executed sitout powerbomb, but a flying splash misses, and Benoit slaps on the Crippler Crossface - Raven breaking the hold. He gives Benoit a forward-falling suplex, and Saturn punctuates it with a flying splash for two - Malenko breaking the count. That draws Mysterio in, so Dean alley-oops him onto the top turnbuckle - Rey actually managing to stick the landing, and jump back at Malenko with a moonsault. Nuts! That gets two, and now all six men are in for a brawl. Everyone ends up in a pileup out on the floor, as Benoit grabs Raven for a snap suplex in the ring, and the flying headbutt for two. Benoit goes to work on Saturn (with Malenko keeping everyone else from re-entering), and a lariat on Saturn gets two. Double-team suplex on Saturn, but Rey manages to get back in, so they double-team flapjack him for the effort. The referee finally restores order, and we settle on Kidman, Benoit, and Saturn. Kidman counters a cross corner whip with a clothesline on Benoit, but trying the same trick on Saturn gets him crotched on the top rope, and springboard bodypressed out of the ring. Benoit hits a springboard clothesline on Saturn before he can follow-up, and a gorgeous bridging Northern lights suplex gets two. Three-alarm rolling German suplexes get two, and he tags Malenko to bodyslam Saturn. Texas Cloverleaf, but Saturn cradles him for two, and Kidman runs back in - Malenko catching him with a flapjack. He spits at Mysterio for good measure, and then actually manages to powerbomb Kidman without it getting reversed. And it's a good one, too - Kidman's head bouncing off of the mat. Benoit in with a snap suplex on Saturn for two, and a Dragon suplex on Kidman is worth two. Benoit is just brilliant with these bridges, I'll tell ya. Dean tries to flapjack Kidman again, but Billy counters into a dropkick, and Saturn catches Benoit with a Russian legsweep ahead of tagging Raven. Raven is fresh, and unloads a three-alarm rolling snap suplex on Benoit for two. The match turns into another six-way brawl from there, and this time Malenko's attempt to powerbomb Kidman is countered into a nice sunset flip for two. He follows by alley-ooping Rey into a rana off the top on Benoit, but trying the same trick on Saturn gets Rey sitout powerbombed. Powerbomb for Kidman is blocked with a facebuster, and Billy adds a bulldog for an incoming Raven. Malenko grabs Saturn for the Texas Cloverleaf, but as Kidman tries to dive off the top, a guy in a Sting mask (Kanyon) shoves him off the turnbuckle, and Raven DDTs him for the pin at 17:29, with Saturn hanging on long enough without submitting in the Cloverleaf. Wow, what a way to start! Wild, highspot filled stuff here. Perhaps a bit too busy for my taste, but exciting from bell-to-bell, and loaded with unique spots. *** ¼

Stevie Ray v Konnan: Stevie actually straight-up chokes Konnan in the corner for mouthing off, but a cross corner charge misses, and Konnan unloads a ten-punch. Bulldog and a seated dropkick get two, but Konnan gets distracted by Vincent on the apron, and takes a superkick. Stevie with a running clothesline, and a snapmare sets up a chinlock, but Konnan powers out - setting up a super-sloppy sequence that ends in Stevie hitting another clothesline, and going back to the chinlock. Stevie with a vertical suplex for two, and he goes to the middle rope, but a splash ends up 'hitting' Konnan's boot, and Stevie gets clotheslined. Konnan with a sitout facebuster, and he loses his shirt in the process, exposing his Spanx. Horace interferes before Konnan can finish though, so Rey Mysterio Jr runs back down to protest, and dives at Stevie with a flying seated senton - Konnan scoring the fall at 6:10. Sloppy, lazy, boring - take your pick! It's like MadLibs: WCW Edition. DUD

Hardcore Match: Bam Bam Bigelow v Brian Knobs: Bigelow wheels down a cart full of plunder to get us started. It backfires when Knobs grabs a trashcan and unloads on him before he can get into the ring, and Brian adds a shot with a cookie tray. Goofy spot, as Knobs tries a charge with a trashcan, but Bigelow lifts his foot to block... only he barely hits Knobs, and causes him to have to throw himself across the ring as if he was shot out of a cannon. Bigelow hits the Greetings From Asbury Park for two, and he follows with the flying headbutt for two. Man, just casually killing Bigelow's finishers here. Knobs with a chair to comeback, and a trashcan-assisted elbowdrop is worth two. To the outside, Bam Bam tosses him into the steps, so Knobs responds in kind. Trashcan shot, but Bigelow blocks with a bar serving tray, and shoves Brian into the guardrail - as the commentators start discussing the 'mythical' hardcore title, while sounding like Jack McBrayer in Forgetting Sarah Marshall. They trade more weapon shots around ringside for what seems like an eternity before finally brawling over to a 'concession stand' near the entrance area. Tony: 'Knobs is not after that poster, he is going for the table!' They brawl into a large, scaled off portion of the building (the place has a capacity of, like, 70,000, and this show drew under 15,000), but Knobs misses an elbowdrop, and Bam Bam slams him through a table for the pin at 11:31. Hey, at least there were no restholds! ¼*

WCW Television Title Match: Booker T v Rick Steiner: Slow start, as they trade shoves for a while, until Rick grabs him for a well executed overhead suplex, then plants a pair of clotheslines on the champ to knock him to the floor. Back in, Steiner holds him in a standing side-headlock, and hits a shoulderblock when Booker tries to break, but gets caught with a roundhouse kick out of a criss cross. Another kick knocks the challenger out of the ring, and back in, Booker bodyslams him, then hits a backelbow for two. Chinlock, but Steiner powers out, and hits a stungun, then clotheslines him over the top. This time, he follows, and plants Booker's head into the guardrail a couple of times. Back in, he gets a two count out of it, and follows with a release German suplex for two. Chinlock goes nowhere, so Rick drops an elbow for two, and chokes the champ in the corner. Backdrop, but Booker blocks, and suplexes his challenger. Rick shrugs it off and unloads with punches for a two count, and hey, it's chinlock time again! Booker powers up for the axekick, and a spinebuster sets up a missile dropkick, but in come Scott Steiner to break up the count. Booker whips Rick into his brother, and hits a Harlem sidekick for two, but Scott gets involved again, and Rick flattens him with a flying bulldog to win the title at 11:09. Anybody wanna play MadLibs again? ¼*

Intergender Match: Charles Robinson v Gorgeous George: So, basically, Flair's bitch versus Savage's bitch. Robinson runs through all the Flair stall tactics to start, but ends up in a wristlock - doing a great Flair impression to sell it. Robinson counters into a hammerlock, but gets reversed, and George snapmares him. Flair comes in to object, but Savage shuns him out to the floor, where Robinson is stalling. Ms. Madness (another of Savage's crew) tries to force him back in, but Robinson decks her, and now George stall on the floor while checking on her. Inside, Robinson chokes her on the ropes, then tosses her into the corner for chops. The boobs protect her, though, and she turns the tables. Cross corner whip allows Robinson to Flair Flip up to the top, but George slams him down, and hits a clothesline - flopping Chuck. Flair and Asya (WCW's answer to Chyna) pull George out for a cheap shot to the knee, and Robinson drags her back in for a leglock. Kneebreaker sets up the Figure Four, but George rocks the boat, and reverses, so Flair slides in to break. Savage responds by bodyslamming Robinson, and George finishes him with a 2^nd rope flying elbowdrop at 10:39. Overbooked junk, but Robinson's 'Little 'Naitch' bit is always entertaining, and it was fun - though more as a skit, not so much a proper match. ¼*

WCW United States Title Match: Scott Steiner v Buff Bagwell: Bagwell attacks before Scott can even get the title belt off, and hits a swinging neckbreaker. Steiner with a pair of low blows to stop the effort, and dumps him into the corner with an inverted powerslam. To the outside, Scott uses the rail and post (though mostly, he just jaws with half the front row), then rolls Bagwell in for a tree of woe. Lots of choking follows, and a double-underhook powerbomb gets two. Belly-to-belly suplex, but Buff ducks a chairshot, and clotheslines it into Scotty's face, then dropkicks him. Inverted atomic drop and an earringer, but the referee gets bumped during a clothesline, and Rick Steiner runs in to blast Bagwell with the chair - Scott finishing him with the Steiner Recliner at 7:11. MadLibs? MadLibs, anyone? DUD

WCW Presidency Match: Ric Flair v Roddy Piper: Since Flair is the President, he fires the initial referee, and replaces him with his doppelganger, Charles Robinson. Piper responds by decking Flair, and unloads a barrage of chops in the corner, follows by a backdrop. Flair bails, so Piper spits at him, and inside, it's more chops. Series of jabs (looser than the Octomom, moments after giving birth) knock Ric out onto the floor again, but this time, Piper follows. They exchange chops, and back inside, Roddy rakes the eyes, and unloads a ten-punch count to flop Flair. Ric blows him low in response, and tosses him to the floor for Arn Anderson to assault. Back in, Flair hammers him in the corner, and let's Asya get a few licks in - referee Robinson conveniently 'distracted.' Chopfest goes Piper's way, and he hits another backdrop for two, so Anderson chokes him from the floor. Piper wins another chopfest, but a double shoulderblock leaves them both looking up at the lights. Flair is up first, and starts working the knee, setting up the Figure Four - but Piper reverses. Anderson tries to interfere again, but Piper decks him, and sunset flips Flair, then backslides, but Robinson refuses to count. Inside cradle gets the same deal, so Piper slams him, and hooks a figure four of his own. Arn breaks it up, but Piper dodges the spinebuster with a Sleeper on him. Flair breaks that up, so Piper puts him in a Sleeper, but Asya saves. Piper gives her a Sleeper of her own, but here's Flair with a set of knux, and now Robinson counts the pin at 12:10. Oh, but forget all that, as Eric Bischoff marches down, and negates the entire overbooked mess by simply awarding the bout to Piper. Okay. Forget the ridiculous finish, the match was embarrassing from bell-to-bell. The finish was the least of their problems. DUD

Goldberg v Sting: Goldberg uses his power advantage to control early, but botches a powerslam, and repeats the spot - successfully. Clothesline knocks Sting over the top, and inside, Sting ducks a big boot, and returns the favor by clotheslining him over the top. Inside, Goldberg wins a criss cross with a fireman’s carry into an armbreaker, but Sting hits a facebuster, and delivers a well timed dropkick to Goldberg's bad knee. Sting slaps on a shitty Boston crab, but Goldberg powers out in short order. Sting kicks at the knee, then promptly forgets about it, and switches to a mat-based side-headlock. Snap suplex, but Goldberg no-sells, and powerslams him for two. Spear, but Sting sidesteps, and hits a flying clothesline, followed by a pair of Stinger Splashes. Third one is blocked with a spear, so Bret Hart suddenly shows up, and wails on Goldberg with a chair - the referee declaring it a no-contest at 8:16. How was that not a DQ win for Goldberg? Seriously, there's non-committal booking, and then there's just stupid. And that wasn't even the worst finish on this hour of this show! Wow, leave it to WCW to book a dream-match, and promptly blow it completely. Sting looked horrible here... and this was 1999. I don't even want to imagine what a match against the Undertaker in 2015 would look like. DUD

Main Event: WCW World Title Match: Diamond Dallas Page v Kevin Nash: Page goes for the Diamond Cutter in the first ten seconds, but Nash blocks, and backelbows him out of the ring. Back in, DDP wins a slugfest, but Nash catches him with a kneelift, and another knocks Page back out to the floor. Nash follows for a snake-eyes onto the rail, and he hammers Page in the corner on the way back in - leveling him with the pictureframe elbow. Another snake-eyes, but Dallas slips free, and boxes him in the corner. Nash tries for a chokeslam, but Page blows him low, and keeps pounding in the corner. Page whacks Nash with a truly random microphone for two, but ends up getting rammed into an exposed turnbuckle as he tries to capitalize. That leaves both men down for the count (selling like they've been out there for twenty minutes), but Nash covers first, and gets two. Epic-style slugfest goes Page's way, and he clotheslines the challenger out for a baseball slide. Diamond Cutter out there, and he somehow makes the mistake of trying for a pin on the floor. Really? You were distracting the referee for your vicious microphone shot, but suddenly you think it's a Hardcore Match? Then again, with some of the finishes on this show thus far, maybe it's not so far fetched. Anyway, Dallas rolls him in and covers, but it only gets two. He unleashes a series of low blows, and finally goes for the knee - wrapping it around the ringpost. Ringpost figure four, but Nash blocks it, so Page charges in to unload more closed fists. Nash fires back, and hits a snake-eyes to the exposed buckle, as the crowd gets so bored that they actually start fighting each other in the stands to liven things up. Nash with the big boot, and the Powerbomb to finish, but Randy Savage runs in, and Nash wins by disqualification at 13:01 - but that doesn't get him the title. Oh, but no, here's Eric Bischoff again, and he rules that the match continue. Okay. So, back to business, and Page picks things up by punting a series of field goals into the ribcage, and hitting a Russian legsweep for two. Clothesline only gets two, so he slaps on a sleeper, but Nash reverses, so Page stuns him for two. He grabs a chair, but Nash ducks a shot, and the top rope flings it back into the champs face - Kevin covering for two. Nash grabs the chair, but Page blows him low again, and hooks the leg for two. Back to the chair, but this time Nash kicks it into his face to block, and Powerbombs him to win the title at 18:23. Well, this wasn’t all bad. I mean, the part when it finally ended was pretty awesome. ¼*

BUExperience: The opener is good fun, but it’s all rapidly down hill from there, as it quickly turns into an assortment of bad matches, and worse finishes. DUD