- The HITMAN383 Rant for WWF Fully Loaded 2000. This was the
show that had a triple main event, with three of the “old guard” vs. three of
the “new blood” so to speak. (This is another I haven’t done a
BUExperience on, and it was originally written in late 2000)
- BTW, I use this system: ***** - Excellent, **** - Great,
*** - Good, **- Okay, * - Decent, DUD - Awful.
- Live from Dallas,
Texas.
- Your Hosts are Jim Ross and Jerry “The King” Lawler.
- Opening Match: Test, Albert and Trish Stratus vs. The
Hardy Boyz and Lita: Big brawl to start, and it officially opens with Matt
and Albert. Matt hammers away, but Albert quickly comes back. Kicking follows.
Matt charges, and a sloppy sequence leads to Matt going to the floor. Test gets
tagged in, and gets dumped on a superplex attempt, leading to Matt hitting a
legdrop. Jeff gets in, and some tandem stuff gets a two. Test with a sidewalk
slam, but Jeff outsmarts him, and hits a dive to the floor. Back in, and Matt
gets an inside cradle for two. Sloppy there guys. Trish gets tagged, and nails
Matt, but he rolls her up for two. Test stops that effort, and Lita gets in.
Trish bails FAST, and tags Albert so the Hardyz save her. Poetry in Motion
hits, and the Hardyz and Lita all suplex Test and Trish. That was pretty cool.
Albert, however, gets Jeff and press slams him to the floor, where Test stomps
him. Double underhook suplex gets two, and he tags Test. They hit a double
backdrop for two, and then Jeff does a nice sequence with Test leading to a two
count. Full Nelson bomb, and Test goes to the chinlock. There goes the flow.
Jeff escapes fast, and gets powerbombed (viciously) for his trouble. Randy
Savage elbow misses, and Jeff tags Matt. He flies in at Test, and bulldogs him
to the mat. Test comes back with a powerbomb, and covers, but Jeff saves, and
covers, but Albert stops it. He gets a DDT for his trouble. Lita DDT’s Test,
and then hits a cross body on Albert! Rana on Test gets two. Lita rules! (Future
Hall of Famer!) T&A cheat to win, and then tag Trish who covers for
two. She hits a nice bulldog for two. She heads up, but Lita stops her and hits
a super-duperplex. It gets two, thanks to Albert. Big brawls breaks out, with
the Hardyz kicking ass, and Lita gets the moonsault for the pin at 13:14.
T&A then attack and kick some ass, while Trish whips Lita with a belt.
Match was GREAT, as the boys did everything but the ending, and Lita is damn
good. Trish also tried hard, to her credit. *** ¼. (Hilarious how at this point it
was ‘Trish tried hard…’ and today, we look back at her as perhaps the greatest
female wrestler of the Divas era. She improved a ton)
- The Undertaker arrives and chases Kurt Angle with his
motorcycle. Okay…
- Tazz vs. Al Snow: Slugfest to start, and Snow kicks
some major ass on Tazz. Snow gets a side Russian leg sweep, and Tazz bails, so
Snow follows for more ass kicking. Another slugfest in the ring (won by Tazz),
but Snow gets a superkick. Powerbomb for two. He tries a head scissors, so Tazz
calmly powerbombs him. Crowd is gone. Snow comeback quickly, and hits a great
top rope legdrop. Moonsault gets two, and Snow grabs the Head, which allows
Tazz to clip him. Brutality follows. Drop-toe hold by Tazz, and he hammers.
Tazz stops Snow’s series of kicks with a suplex, and tries the Tazzmission, but
Snow breaks. He tries again, so Snow tries the same counter, but Tazz keeps it
hooked for the win at 5:22. Crowd was pretty dead until the end, but the match
was solid. ** ¼.
- In the back, Christian is puking his guts out, trying to
get out of the title match.
- Also backstage, some flowers arrive in Triple H and
Steph’s locker room, and they speculate Kurt Angle sent them due to the card
reading “Good luck … It’s True, It’s True.”
- WWF European Title Match, Eddy Guerrero vs. Perry Saturn:
Chyna goes after Terri before the match even starts, and Saturn tries to help
her. Eddy gets pissed and jumps him, and kicks his ass all around the ring.
Slingshot senton, and Perry bails, allowing Chyna a cheep shot. Eddy hits a top
rope rana, and goes to the arm bar. Saturn looks like he doesn’t know what to
do out there. It spills outside, and Eddy hits a top rope bodyblock to the
floor. Eddy with a rana in the ring for two, but Saturn gets a powerbomb
shortly after. Eddy with a tornado DDT, for two, but Saturn gets a variation of
a faceslam. Eddy gets yet another rana, and then they do a criss cross with
Saturn hitting a powerbomb. He misses a moonsault, and Eddy hits a snap suplex
and heads up for a senton, but misses. Slam by Saturn, and he goes up, but Eddy
dropkicks him off to the floor. Chyna attack AGAIN, so Saturn decks her, and
out runs Terri. She kicks Eddy in the Latino Heat device, and Saturn hits the
elbow (HARD) for the pin and the title at 8:12. Decent match, but not special.
* ¾. (I
don’t remember this one, but I’ve seen about 10,000 versions of it from the
dying WCW days lately, and if they weren’t motivated, it could suck – big time)
- Foley finds out Christian was faking his puking, and say’s
the tag title match is ON!
- The ‘Taker does an interview, and sees Angle playing on
his bike. He’s not pleased.
- WWF World Tag Team Title Match, Edge and Christian vs.
The Acolytes: E&C make fun of the whole JFK thing, getting an “asshole”
chant in response. Bradshaw goes on a rant in response about how great Texas is, and how Canada sucks. Good one too.
Acolytes kick ass to start (DUH). Bradshaw hits a 2nd rope fallaway slam, to
impress ME for the night, and then hammer Edge for a two count. He tries a
powerbomb, but Edge keeps ducking down, showing he’s smart. Eventually Bradshaw
gets pissed, and hits the spot. Christian gets in and gets violent. They trade
up fast though, and Edge hits a neckbreaker for two. Christian gets back in,
and they cheat to win. Double superplex attempt gets stopped by Bradshaw, and
he hits a shoulderblock. Bradshaw is now officially playing Ricky Morton. Hot
tag to Faarooq, and kills both heels. Dominator on Christian looks to finish,
but Edge runs in with the tag belt, causing a cheep DQ at 5:31. The Acolytes
then beat their asses to the locker rooms in retaliation. ¾ *.
- Hunter is pissed about the Angle sending Stephanie flowers
thing, and goes to find the Olympic Hero.
- Angle, however still has major problems with the ‘Taker of
his own, so he nails him with a wrench to the knee.
- WWF Intercontinental Title, Cage Match: Val Venis vs.
Rikishi: The rules are you get the win by pin or escape. Val is tentative
to get in with Rikishi, but runs in, and dives for an escape. It fails. Rikishi
plays “toss the porn star into the cage” for a bit, then starts to climb. Val
follows him up, but Rikishi elbows him off, and keeps climbing. Val,
intelligently, goes for the door causing Rikishi to come down. Rikishi then
takes a few shots to the cage, but then rams Val to the corner, and tries the
stinkface, but a low blow counters. Val follows up with a bulldog, and a series
of clotheslines for two. Val makes the climb, and both men have a tough time
climbing the mesh. They should bring the blue (or black) barred one back. (The ‘bar’
style cages are light years better than these stupid mesh cages and, outside of
Hell in a Cell, I have no idea why they switched) Val wins an exchange
at the top, and then drops an elbow for two. Good spot there. Val climbs again,
and nearly gets out, but Rikishi follows, and both men get crotched. Val does a
weak bladejob off it. Rikishi goes for the door, but Val makes a Hulk Hogan
like assault, only to get rammed to the cage. Cheeks of Fire hit, and the
Bansai drop follows. He goes for the door, but Trish slams it in his face, and
Val hits a neckbreaker. He goes to the top rope, and hits the Money Shot for
two. Out runs Lita (with a belt in hand), and gives a retaliation spanking for
earlier in the night. Both guys head up, with Rikishi tossing Val off (bumping
the ref.), and then Rikishi climbs ALL THE WAY up, and hits the Superfly
Splash! HOLY CRAP! Val is DEAD now folks, and Rikishi crawls for the door, only
to be hit by Tazz with a camera. Crowd is NOT pleased. Val does a one-arm cover
for three, to retain at 14:10. Again, the crowd is NOT pleased. The Match?
Well, it was no Bret/Owen, and aside from the Superfly Splash, it was nothing
special. ** ¼.
- Triple H looks for Angle, only to find out Jericho sent the flowers.
A fight ensues, and Chris beats his ass.
- Shane McMahon comes to the ring and calls out The Rock.
The Rock obliges, and is ready to whoop ass, when Benoit appears on the big
screen, and rips up all of the Rock’s clothes. Rock is pissed, to say the
least.
- Main Event (#1): Kurt Angle vs. The Undertaker:
‘Taker comes down before his entrance even starts, and kicks Angle’s ass in the
crowd. They finally make it in the ring, where the snake eyes gets a two count.
Davey Boy Smith like suplex for two, when ‘Taker pulls him up. Angle gets a
weak chin lock (kinda out of nowhere) so UT calmly kills him. It spills out,
where Angle uses the wrench again, and UT SELLS? It only lasts about 30 seconds
though, as UT mauls him again. Chopblock takes him down, and Kurt works the
leg. A slugfest ensues, which Angle wins, and keeps working the leg. ‘Taker
comes back, and another slugfest goes down, with UT winning this time.
Chokeslam hits, and a powerbomb ends it at 7:40. Match sucked, ½ *. This was
basically a squash, since Angle had little offense, and was made to look weak.
That’s just not right.
- Main Event (#2), Last Man Standing Match, Triple H vs.
Chris Jericho: Jericho
beats the hell out of the Game to start, and stomps a mud hole in him. A
dropkick dumps Hunter out, and another keeps him there. Jericho will not stop pounding! Back inside,
and Chris hits a flying back elbow. Hunter gets a facebuster to turn things
around, and clotheslines him to the floor. Hunter follows, and drops him to the
railing, and then the steps. Back in the ring, and Hunter works on Chris’s
injured ribs. It goes to the floor, where Steph. gets some shots in, and Hunter
hits a suplex. Back in and Hunter hooks an abdominal stretch. Normally, I’d be
pissed, but in context, it’s a good hold. Chris hip tosses out, but can’t
capitalize. Hunter goes at it with the ref. allowing Chris to get a spin heel
kick, but the Lionsault hits the knees. DDT by Hunter, and it gets a 7-count.
Hunter keeps working him, and hooks a sleeper, which gets a 9-count. Jericho invites Hunter to
keep coming, which he gladly does, but Chris won’t stay down. Pedigree hits
hard, and Hunter tells him to never be such a smart-ass. Hunter rests on the
ropes, HBK style, but the count only gets 9. HHH uses a chair next, and tries a
pedigree on it, but Y2J gets a low blow. He gets the chair and nails Hunter,
who does a nice bladejob off it. Jericho
keeps pounding, and damn Hunter bleeds good, don’t he?! Flying forearm by Jericho, and a missile
dropkick. The bulldog hits, but Chris won’t even let the ref. count! Hunter
does the Flair flip to the outside, but a whip to the steps backfires, and
Chris takes the bump. He tries a pedigree to the steps, but it fails, and Jericho backdrops him.
They both crawl to the announce table, and grab monitors, and both swing and go
down. I like that better than when they just take it off to make room for a
bump. Both make it up at 8. In the ring, and a pedigree gets turned into a
Liontamer, and Hunter goes to the ropes, as we see his bladejob is amazing.
Steph. climbs in, but Chris gets pissed and hooks her in the hold too! They go
to the floor again, and Hunter swings with a sledgehammer, but it misses.
Slingshot to the post by Jericho,
and he nails him with the sledgehammer. They both climb up on a little time
keepers box, and Hunter side suplexes Jericho
through the table! Now THAT’S a bump. The ref. counts both guys, and Hunter
BARELY makes it up at around 9, and then just falls back down after the count
is over. That was a brutal 23:14! **** ½.
- Main Event (#3), WWF Title, Titles change hands by DQ:
The Rock vs. Chris Benoit: Benoit wears one of the Rock’s ripped up shirts
to the ring, just to be cool. As Rock and Benoit have their little staredown,
Shane tries to jump Rocky, but gets caught, allowing Benoit to attack. It goes
to the floor quickly, where they brawl, and Rock chases Shane. He finally meets
Benoit, and slams him down, then slingshots him into Shane, who was on the
apron. One problem though, Shane wasn’t in position, and DELIBERATLY had to
move there, exposing the spot. Benoit bails afterwards. He gets back in and
whips some ass, as only Chris Benoit can, and they brawl on the floor again.
Benoit springboards to the top, but it fails, and Rocky suplexes him off. The
WWF belt gets involved next, and Benoit lays a shot in for a two count. Snap
suplex for two, and the Rock hits a powerslam for a two of his own. Benoit
stops a comeback with a side suplex though, and hooks the Sharpshooter. Rock
makes the ropes, so Benoit tries again, but Rock fights him off. He tries an
Irish whip, but Shane gets involved and Miavia goes tumbling to the floor.
Brawling ensues. Back inside, and Rock gets a figure four, but the Crippler
makes the ropes. Benoit with a low blow, and a clothesline knocks Rocky out.
Shane gets his licks in, and Benoit follows. Benoit works in a sloppy suplex on
the floor, and works the back. In the ring, Rock gets a DDT, but Benoit tears
his head off with a clothesline for two. Backbreaker for two, and Shane gets
more cheepshots in. Chris gets a nice neckbreaker, getting a two. Slugfest
ensues, which Rock wins, and hits a VERY messed up hotshot. It gets two, ‘cause
Benoit’s feet are in the ropes. Slam by Benoit, and he heads up for the
headbutt, which gets a dramatic two count. Slugfest #2, won by Rock again and
he gets the spinebuster, leading to the People’s Elbow. It gets two, because
Shane distracted the ref. for a while, allowing Chris to recover from the PURE
VICIOUSNESS of an elbow drop. Chris makes a comeback, and hits the
super-duperplex, but both guys are dead. He crawls over and gets another
dramatic two. Rock gets a lariat out of the corner, so Benoit follows suit and
gets a chair. Rock wrestles it away from him, but Shane pops in, and blasts
Earl from behind. Rock takes out Shane, and hooks Benoit in the Crossface, but
Earl DQ’s him, assuming Rock hit him with the chair, and Benoit is the WWF
champion!! Unfortunately, Mick Foley runs out and orders the match to continue
because Rock never hit the ref. What ever happened to “The Referee’s Decision
is Final?” Did they do that at Survivor Series 1991? NO! Booking a Re-match,
sure, but the ref’s call is FINAL! (Eh, this is wrestling. Changing the rules
to suit them is pretty much par for the course) They start again, and
Benoit hits the rolling German’s for two, and hooks the Crossface. Rock squirms
in pain, but makes the ropes, prompting Benoit to stomp a mud hole in ‘em. Rock
gets a Rock Bottom out of nowhere, however, to retain the title at 22:10. Obviously,
I’m pissed with the way the title match ended, but the match was great! ****.
- Bottom Line: Well, the last two matches really make
the show. Up to the last two main event matches, the show was in the okay –good
range, but the last two REALLY make the whole show putting it into the good –
great range. Too bad Benoit didn’t get the belt though
- Recommended. (Again,
I don’t have a whole lot to add since I haven’t seen this show in over thirteen
years, but it will be redone sooner than later – stay tuned!)
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