WCW Fall Brawl 1999

From Winston-Salem, North Carolina; Your Hosts are Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, and Bobby Heenan, in front of a heavily papered crowd.

Opening Six-Man Tag Team Match: Vampiro and The Insane Clown Posse v Rey Mysterio Jr, Eddie Guerrero, and Billy Kidman: Did they switch to smaller rings around this time? 'Cause, holy shit, that is a tiny looking ring. Bobby Heenan's in-depth analysis of this match: 'Vampiro and those clowns outweigh the other guys, wouldn't you say?' Lots of stalling to start, until Violent J starts with Kidman - and dominates?! Kidman breaks up his onslaught of stomps with a dropkick, but trying an ocean cyclone suplex with this moron proves a mistake for Kidman. Rey and Eddie take turns splashing the clown, so he tags Shaggy 2 Dope. He slaps Rey around, and hits a slingshot into the corner before tagging Vampiro. The freaks end up cutting the ring in half on Kidman, but Shaggy ends up losing control, and Mysterio gets the tag. He hits a springboard moonsault, but a distraction from Vampiro ends in Rey getting whipped into the rail on the floor. Vampiro holds him in a front-facelock for a while on the way back in, but he manages to get to Guerrero. Eddie chops at Vampiro, but the weirdo can't properly sell anything, and levels Eddie with a clothesline - Guerrero giving him a lesson in selling. Violent J with a flying legdrop on Eddie for two, and a flapjack/cutter combo nearly breaks his neck. Kidman comes in to turn the match into a brawl, and he finishes Vampiro with the Shooting Star Press at 14:15. Not a good start, as this was extremely amateurish, and a total waste of three talented guys. Plus, watching Guerrero, Mysterio, and Kidman sell for a couple of literal clowns was ridiculous. I mean, people bring up the Hogan/Leno sell from Road Wild, but this was worse in a lot of ways, as the ICP guys looked like a couple of kids play-wrestling. And it's not that they weren't trying (they were), they just  had no business in there with the level of talent they were programmed with. ¼*

WCW Cruiserweight Title Match: Lenny Lane v Kaz Hayashi: Stalling to start, as Lenny plays with Lodi (they were doing a gay gimmick at the time). They finally lockup, and Lenny takes Kaz down, and mounts him from behind in a waistlock - Hayashi scrambling for the ropes in a homophobic hustle. Kaz with a waistlock (making sure to keep his ass jutted back, in a cute touch), but Lenny escapes, and prances around the ring like AJ Lee. Kaz with a sunset flip for two, and a dropkick sets up a headscissors takedown - the champ rolling out to the floor into Lodi's loving embrace. Kaz dives out onto them both, and drags Lenny back in, but gets tripped up by Lodi in the process, and Lenny gives him a wheelbarrow facebuster for two. Lenny with a series of back and chest scratches for two, but a cross corner charge misses, and Hayashi drop-toeholds him into the middle turnbuckle. He tries a slingshot bodypress to follow-up, but Lenny sidesteps, and covers for two. Lenny with a gutwrench sitout powerbomb for two, but a bodypress misses, and the champ goes over the top. Hayashi follows with a somersault plancha onto him, but Lodi attacks him out there, and rolls him in for his partner to chinlock. Kaz powers into a rana for two, but Lenny bulldogs him - getting two. Side suplex, but Kaz reverses, and hits a nice slingshot bulldog. Hayashi with a running sitout powerbomb for two, and a flying rana is worth two. Lenny retreats into a hug from Lodi, but gets dropkicked, and Kaz victory rolls him for two. Backbreaker, but Kaz gets distracted by Lodi on the apron, so Lenny schoolboys him for two, and finishes with a forward-falling Russian legsweep at 12:20. Not a bad match, exactly, but really awkward, as they just weren't clicking. *

No Disqualification Match: The Revolution v The First Family: I should note how ridiculous Brian Knobs looks in his Nasty Boys gear, now that he's sans Jerry Sags. Big brawl to start, with the Revolution cleaning house. Since it's no DQ, they follow to the floor for a brawl in the aisle, as some slut in the front row tries to get Shane Douglas' attention by faking an orgasm. The dust finally settles on Douglas and Brian Knobs - Shane unloading a ten-punch in the corner. Series of clotheslines, and Shane tags Dean Malenko to dropkick Knobs for two. Knobs rakes the eyes to allow a tag to Hugh Morrus, but Hugh runs right into an armdrag, and Malenko slaps on a wristlock. Tag back to Douglas, and he hits a neat looking inverted somersault necksnap, but Hugh kind of shrugs it off, and tags. Shane ends up getting whipped into the rail, but he kinda shrugs that off too, and he and Dean go back to dismantling the Family. A cheap shot turns the tide, and the Family cut the ring in half on Douglas. It turns into a four-way brawl from there, and Morrus casually finishes Malenko with a flying moonsault at 9:00. Another waste of talent. DUD

WCW Television Title Match: Rick Steiner v Saturn: They do some lazy mat-wrestling to start, until Rick blasts him with a lariat for two. Saturn fires back with a superkick, and a bodyslam sets up a springboard legdrop - Rick rolling out to the floor. Saturn is on him with a tope, and rolls the champ right back inside for a ten-punch. Release German suplex gets two, so Steiner pops him in the nuts, and tosses him out for a whip into the steps. Steiner adds a DDT on the floor, as the announcers discuss tough guys, and their love of massage parlors. Back in, Rick hits a German suplex for two, and hooks something vaguely resembling a half-crab. Saturn is actually nice enough to sell it (I wouldn't have faulted him for telling Rick to go fuck himself), but makes the ropes, so Steiner belly-to-belly suplexes him a couple of times. Saturn with a 2^nd rope dropkick to comeback, and a springboard forearm sets up a head-and-arm suplex for two. Death Valley Driver, but Rick kicks out at two. Saturn calls for it again, but Steiner counters into an inverted powerbomb into the corner - only to get crotched on the top rope as he attempt to follow-up. Saturn follows for a superplex, but Rick shoves him off, and hits a flying bulldog to retain at 9:30. This might have been interesting had either guy been motivated (ten minutes of them trading various suplexes and Saturn springboarding could have been fun), but both guys were content doing as little as possible to coast by at this point, unfortunately. ¼*

Jim Duggan v Berlyn: This was originally scheduled to be Berlyn versus Buff Bagwell, but Bagwell 'missed his flight' (see: refused to job), so we get Duggan as a last minute replacement. Berlyn attacks with a dropkick at the bell, but Duggan returns fire with a series of clotheslines to put the German on the floor. Back in, Duggan hits an atomic drop, but telegraphs a backdrop, and gets clotheslined. Chopfest goes Berlyn's way, and he unloads a few European uppercuts, then snapmares Duggan into a chinlock. Jim escapes, but runs into a boot during a cross corner charge, and Wri...Berlyn... chokes him on the ropes. Duggan no-sells that and grabs him in a front-facelock, but Berlyn counters into a waistlock. Duggan counters into a hammerlock, but Berlyn counters into a chinlock - capping off the most amateurish and exposing reversal sequence I have ever seen. I mean, holy fuck! They looked like they were trying to fuck each other out there. Hilarious bit, as Berlyn puts on an evil expression while wrenching the chinlock, but Duggan makes googly-eyes instead of selling. Duggan tries a backdrop to comeback, but ends up getting caught in a neckbreaker at 8:05. Really, considering Duggan was a replacement, and that they were pushing Berlyn, this should have been a two minute, non-competitive squash. But hey, Jim's doing Legend's House today. When was the last time anyone even mentioned Buff Bagwell or Berlyn? -*

WCW World Tag Team Title Match: The West Texas Rednecks v Harlem Heat: Long stall session at the bell, before we finally start with Booker T and Kendall Windham. Booker quickly knocks him out to the floor, and inside, unloads a pair of clotheslines. Tag to Barry Windham, but Booker catches him with an armdrag and a roundhouse kick. Tag to Stevie Ray for a double-team vertical suplex, and Stevie gives both Rednecks inverted atomic drops. Barry rakes the eyes to slow him down, and Kendall tags in with a backelbow, followed by a legdrop. The champs cut the ring in half on Stevie, but he gets to Booker pretty quickly, and Booker comes in hot with a bunch of kicks - only to end up on the floor, and get triple-teamed by the Windham's and Curt Hennig. Inside, the Rednecks get back to cutting the ring in half - this time on Booker T. Funny bit, as Hennig ends up whacking Stevie with a cowbell, and Kendall covers (since they all look alike, right?), but even the referee isn't dumb enough to count. It finally turns into a brawl, and Booker finishes Kendall with a missile dropkick at 13:00 to win the belts. I (along with the crowd) kinda spaced out on this one after about two minutes, but I think I can safely call this a 'DUD,' and move on.

WCW United States Title Match: Chris Benoit v Sid Vicious: Sid overpowers him to start, Benoit pinballing all the way to the floor off of a shoulderblock. Chris regroups on the outside for a bit, and back inside, Sid continues manhandling him. Benoit comes back with a legwhip (which was pretty visually impressive, given the size difference) and a dropkick takes Sid down for a leglock. Sid shoves him into the corner for a couple of shots (completely forgetting that Benoit was just wailing on his knee, not two minutes earlier - but hey, he has HALF THE BRAIN YOU DO!), but a cross corner charge misses, and Benoit wraps his leg around the post. Benoit uses the steps on the knee next, but a nice slingshot bodypress on the way back in is caught by Sid for a blockbuster - countered by Benoit into a German suplex. Crucifix, but Sid drops him like a Samoan, and hits a cobra slam for two. Chinlock, so Benoit tries a sunset flip, but gets clobbered. Snake-eyes, but Benoit slips free, and dropkicks the knee to set up the Crippler Crossface, but Sid makes the ropes. To the top, Benoit tries the flying headbutt to finish, but Sid rolls out of the way, and Powerbombs Benoit to win the title at 11:50. Benoit's selling made Sid look like a proper monster, but Vicious neglecting to sell almost ANYTHING Benoit did (most glaringly, the knee) not only made Chris look horrible, but it really hurt the match. ¼*

Goldberg v Diamond Dallas Page: Big slugfest to start, going Goldberg's way, and putting Page on the floor. Inside, Goldberg tries a side-headlock, and shoulderblocks Page when he tries to escape. DDP tries a headlock of his own, but Goldberg powers out, and knocks Dallas onto the floor with another shoulderblock. Page decides to take a walk through the crowd rather than return, but Goldberg drags him back for a powerslam. Page with a mule kick to take the pep out of Goldberg's step, and he takes over with slow, kicky-punchy stuff. Chinlock, but Goldberg powers up, so DDP catches him with a DDT during a spinebuster attempt, and covers for two. Goldberg shrugs that off with a double-underhook suplex, so the Jersey Triad runs out. Kanyon breaks a piece of glass over his head, but Goldberg kicks out at two, and spears Page - finishing with the Jackhammer at 9:10. So boring, a woman in the front row may have been knitting at one point. Not sure, she may have just been trying to jam her eyes out with needles, but I'd hope she was actually knitting, because then at least something would come out of this match. DUD

Main Event: WCW World Title Match: Hulk Hogan v Sting: Sure, we've seen this on pay per view before, but we've never seen it with Hogan wearing yellow underwear, so it's practically all new! But first, here's Bret Hart to remind both guys that he wants a shot at the winner. Onto the match, they square off, and a collar-and-elbow tie-up goes to a stalemate. They stop to have a chat, and another lockup ends in them trading standing-wristlocks. Hogan with a drop-toehold into a crossface, but Sting is in the ropes. Back up, they trade hammerlocks, and Hogan hits a clothesline, followed by a bodyslam for two. Sting with a slam of his own for two, and they try a test-of-strength - Hulk taking control, and vertical suplexing Sting. It gets no-sold, however, and Sting shoves him into the corner for a ten-punch, then hits a clothesline for two. Hulk rolls out to the floor to regroup, and Sting follows for a slugfest - Hulk winning by bashing him into the guardrail. Slam on the outside, and back in, Hogan manages a side suplex for two. Bow-and-arrow, but Sting won't quit, so Hulk slaps on an abdominal stretch instead. Hulk with the backscratches (Lenny, Lodi, and Terry totally should have been a thing, I swear), and a ten-punch in the corner rattles the challenger. Clothesline, but Sting ducks, and hits a bodypress for two, then follows with the Stinger Splash. Another one hits, but a third misses, and Hogan unloads fists of fury. Big boot and the Legdrop hit, but Diamond Dallas Page knocks the referee out before he can make the count. Diamond Cutter for Hogan, and he puts Sting on top, but Hulk makes a dramatic kickout. Page responds by Cutting the referee, so Bret Hart runs back out to kick the shit out of DDP. That draws Sid down, but Hogan ducks a clothesline, and takes him out with a big boot. Now here comes Lex Luger, but Hulk hits him with the boot as well - only to get walloped by Sting with a baseball bat, and put in the Scorpion Deathlock at 13:56. Really weird match, that was obviously going for the 'epic' face/face WrestleMania VI feel with all the mat-wrestling at the start, but then turned into a grossly overbooked main event with all of the run-ins and Sting’s heel turn. Give it to Hogan though, the match may have turned into an overbooked turd, but he was trying to change things up and work outside of his comfort zone, and I appreciate the effort. ½*

BUExperience: If you can make a case for why this is a good show, God bless you, because you’re probably the only person alive. Seriously, this is like booking the Royal Rumble without having a battle royal - would it have killed them to do a WarGames on the damn show created to feature the match? This show sucked so hard, they didn’t even bother coming back to this town the next year (after four straight years of running Fall Brawl from the arena) – but don’t worry! Russo is coming to save us! Meanwhile, DUD