WWF Monday Night RAW (July 26, 1993)

Original Airdate: July 26, 1993 (Taped July 19)

From New York, New York; Your Hosts are Vince McMahon, Bobby Heenan, and Randy Savage.

Opening Match: Bret Hart v Bam Bam Bigelow: Bigelow rakes the eyes to win the initial lockup, then swats Bret down, and spits on him. Nice touch. Bigelow creams Hart with a shoulderblock, but Bret dodges a clothesline, dropkicks him, and then clotheslines him over the top. Luna Vachon tries to run a distraction out there, but Bret stays focused, and pulls Bam Bam back in for a flying seated senton - only to hurt his knee on the landing. Bigelow capitalizes by stomping the knee, and he drops the Hitman with a well executed side suplex. Bigelow with a powerslam for two, and a pair of diving headbutts hit - a third missing. Hart side suplexes him, and a dropkick sets up a pointed elbowdrop for two. Slugfest goes Bigelow's way, and he dropkicks Hart right in the gut to knock the wind out of him, and set up a chinlock. Hart escapes, so Bigelow tries another dropkick, but Bret stops short, and backdrops the big man. Bret with a series of headbutts to the lower back, and a Russian legsweep gets two. 2^nd rope clothesline gets two, and Hart tries a sleeper, but Bigelow falls into the corner to break. He's still dazed, so Hart manages to bulldog him, and he goes for the Sharpshooter, but HEEERE'S Johnnny! Or, in this case, Jerry, as Lawler shows up in the balcony (where Stu and Helen Hart are sitting) and distracts Bret. Bret abandons the match to go chase Lawler, but Bigelow grabs him as he climbs the rail, and rams him into the post to stop that effort. Lawler continues to run Stu and Helen down (with that annoying, Paulie Walnuts laugh every five seconds, to boot), as Bam Bam gets the Hitman back into the ring for some stomps. Bret takes his chest-first cross corner bump for two, and Bam Bam bodyslams him, then squashes him with a senton splash. To the top, Bigelow tries a flying somersault senton to finish, but Hart rolls out of the way, and unloads a pair of clotheslines and another elbowdrop for two. DDT, but Lawler just keeps taunting him from the balcony, so Hart rolls out of the ring again, and with Bigelow down this time, manages to dive over the rail - getting counted out at 17:00. Lawler bails before Bret can make it upstairs though, so you'll have to buy SummerSlam to see Bret get his hands on the King. Good match either way (a bit sloppy at points, but good), though the extended Lawler bit took a lot away from it, as they had to work around it in the ring. ** ½

SummerSlam Report! Lex Luger has a brand new red-white-and-blue Chevy Silverado! Cheer him, morons!

Cute RAW Girl Sign of the Week: We Be RAW

Mr. Hughes v Russ Greenberg: Snaro! Hughes kills him with a forearm right at the bell, and waffles him with a big boot in short order. Powerbomb, and the scrapbuster finishes at 3:03. Afterwards, Hughes destroys another black wreath from the Undertaker, prompting a great line from Bobby Heenan: 'President Clinton enjoys flowers on his desk every morning! Not black ones, though...' Heh. Too bad Bobby wasn't Bobby anymore by the late 90s. Forget Clinton's bullshit, can you imagine a motivated Heenan during the Attitude Era? Anyway, I wish they'd get around to doing SOMETHING with Hughes (outside of his theoretical feud with The Undertaker), because these endless squashes are getting really tiresome, really fast. DUD

We take a look at WrestleMania: The Album. What a piece of shit this was. Even as a kid, who was obsessed with anything wrestling, and loved entrance themes (remember, I grew up in pre-Internet times - they weren't easy to access), I hated this CD.

The Smoking Gunns v Glen Ruth and Duane Gill: The jobbers try a sneak attack, and Billy Gunn starts with Gill - winning one criss cross with a drop-toehold, and a second with a dropkick. Tag to brother Bart Gunn for a flying axehandle, but Gill tags. They try a double-team, but Bart ducks, and bodypresses them. Tag back to Billy for a legdrop, and a double-team Russian legsweep, as the Gunns settle on working Ruth over. Meanwhile, Heenan and Savage get into a REALLY weird back-and-forth about Lex Luger on the Regis and Kathie Lee morning show, to the point where even McMahon starts going 'never mind, never mind!' and begs them to call the match. Back to that, the Gunns put Ruth out of his misery with their backdrop/piledriver combo at 4:15. Energetic, but totally paint-by-numbers, and a bit too long. I'm still digging that finisher too, though thank God they switched to the Sidewinder before they broke some poor kids neck. ¼*

Ludvig Borga vignette

Let's take a look at pre-recorded footage, as Vince McMahon interviews Lex Luger in an empty Manhattan Center - assumingly preparing him for what his title reign will be like. I should note that Luger is less the next Hulk Hogan, and much more a prototype for what John Cena is today

More Lex Luger, as we take a look at highlights of the Lex Express tour of the Americas

Doink v Phil Apollo: Doink brings a unicycle with him, so you know shit is about to get real. Doink with a fireman’s carry into an overhead wristlock early on, and he fires a pair of elbows at Phil when he tries to escape. Belly-to-belly suplex, and he rides Phil with a bodyscissors on the mat. That's one thing I loved about Doink in the beginning: not only was the character interesting, but he never went with the same old-same old holds. It wasn't chinlock, chinlock, chinlock all the time, and I appreciate that. Doink with a powerslam, as McMahon promises that he'll be asking Lex Luger about steroid use in their next interview. Well, let's not miss THAT. Meanwhile, Doink casually finishes the jobber with the Whoopee Cushion at 2:30. Afterwards, Doink taunts Randy Savage (still sore about Savage interfering in his match with Marty Jannetty a few weeks back), as I notice Linda McMahon actually sitting in the first row behind the announce team. Wow, there's papering a crowd, and then there's just being ridiculous. Anyway, Doink wants Savage one-on-one, but as he considers it, two more Doink's materialize to freak Macho out. God, this character was awesome. Yeah, the 'multiple Doink's' thing was stupid (They're masked! It's not like he's cloning himself!), but Matt Borne was just brilliant in this role. ¼*

BUExperience: Good episode this week! I enjoyed the Hart/Bigelow match a lot, and the angles with Hart/Lawler, and Savage/Doink were all well done. Sure, there was some junk too, but the good easily outweighed the bad, and as I’ve said many time before, the short runtime really worked in their favor.