- The WWF’s 2000 Royal Rumble show was the first show in a
series of kick ass PPV’s the WWF produced in early 2000. When it first came out
in January, it was heralded as an all time classic, with a kick ass Street
Fight for the WWF Title. Let’s see how it holds up. (This one was originally written
in very late 2000)
- Okay, I was just over at RS.com, and I’ve gotta know:
WHAT? How did Scott find Beach Blast 1992 as Highly Recommended? Maybe we were
watching different shows, because there is NO WAY that opener was almost ****,
or the main event *** ½. Please note, however, this is NOT a knock at Scott. I
just felt that show sucked so bad, and was shocked to see it get such a good
review from someone as respected as Scott. Anyway, to each his own, I guess. (My
opinion sure has changed on that one. Yeah, the opener is nowhere near four
stars, but the main event is a solid three stars, there is a really good
Sting/Cactus match, and a brilliant Rude/Steamboat Iron Man, so it’s not like
the show sucks, or anything)
- I also want to take time to note that the site polls will
now be updated every few days here at the Rant Center to let YOU, the readers,
have more say in the site. Check it out on the main page. (Offer no longer valid,
obviously. Though, I’m still always open to requests)
- BTW, I use this system: ***** - Excellent, **** - Great,
*** - Good, **- Okay, * - Decent, DUD - Awful.
- Live from New
York, New York (at
MSG).
- Your Hosts are Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler.
- Opening Match: Kurt Angle vs. Tazz: This was Tazz’s
WWF debut, as Angle’s mystery opponent. One year later, Tazz is still in about
the same position in the WWF. (The result of the WWE apparently not
realizing how small Taz actually was in person, and abandoning his push quite
rapidly) Angle also looks smaller back then than today. I guess the
roids come with the uppercard. Big pop for Tazz, in NYC (ECW territory). Tazz
attacks him, and Kurt bumps right away, taking a backdrop to the floor. They
fight through all the smoke that MSG always has (and lately on RAW’s too),
where Kurt takes control, and it goes back in. Kurt is drawing no heat here.
Angle hits a belly to belly, drawing some heat for himself. He heads up but
gets crotched and Taz overhead suplexes him off for two, as Kurt has his foot
on the ropes. Angle with a small package for two, and a German suplex for two.
Tazz hits a reverse overhead suplex (taking two tries at it before executing
it), and then a normal overhead suplex. He hooks the Tazzmission shortly after,
and chokes Kurt out for the win at 3:16, ending the winning streak. Very short,
but still okay. **.
- Tag Team Table Match: The Dudley Boyz vs. The Hardy
Boyz: This is before the Dudley’s reached
any level of overness, and Buh Buh was still a stuttering loser. They go right
at it, and Buh Buh quickly hits a full nelson slam on Jeff. There are no tags
in this, BTW. The Dud’s get a table inside, and tries to backdrop Jeff through
it, but Matt moves it. Buh Buh tumbles outside, and Jeff dives onto him, while
Matt and D-Von try to put eachother through tables inside. Jeff cracks Buh
Buh’s head with a chair, and runs the railing at him, but collides with a
table. Ouch. They switch up, and now Buh Buh goes with Matt, and D-Von with
Jeff. Matt gets put on one inside, and Buh Buh heads upstairs, but gets caught
and superplexed to the mat. A Ladder gets involved, and Matt takes the Dudley’s out with it. Matt whacks Buh Buh with a chair,
outside, and climbs the ladder to put him through, as Jeff climbs to the top
rope. They dive off together, and put Buh Buh through it, earning a mild “holy
shit” chant. They set up a contrived spot on the outside, and Matt dives onto
D-Von but he moves, and Matt goes through, and then Jeff misses a dive and goes
through one. The match isn’t over, however, as it has to be an offensive move. They
take the Hardy’s back in, and drive Matt through a table with a superbomb. All
four go into the crowd, where they set up some more tables, and then Buh Buh
takes Jeff up to the 2nd level. Jeff pounds Buh Buh with a chair up there,
which sends him toppling through two tables. Matt sets D-Von up on another one,
and Jeff does the Swanton Bomb off the 2nd level driving him through it for the
win at 10:18. Pretty spotty, but still good. At the time, it looked better than
it does today, at about 4 stars, but after the WrestleMania match, and the TLC
Match, it isn’t as great looking. Still, *** ½. (This was an awesome little match
for what it was, and now comes off like the perfect appetizer for the insane
main course they would deliver over the next year)
- Backstage Paramedics test Kurt Angle for a concussion, and
tell him that he was choked out. He argues, however, that because Tazz CHOKED
him out, he’s still undefeated. I can agree with that one, I guess.
- Up next is the Miss Rumble 2000 Bikini Pageant. Jerry
Lawler is the MC, of course. Who else would be? JR? Michael Cole? Actually, I
could imagine Cole doing it: “Look King, BREASTS!” Anyway, Ivory goes first (reluctantly),
and gets ** ½ for a decent suit. I’ve never liked Ivory, however. Terri is
next, with her skin-tone one piece. Woo-hoo! ****. I like Terri wearing
full-length outfits, however, so maybe I’m biased. Jackie goes next, in a
string bikini, and struts her stuff. Decent. ** ½. B.B. goes next (she was some
T&A from then, that was let go shortly after), and wears a blue two piece
for ***. Luna refuses to participate (thank G-D) for a DUD. The Kat is last
(with everyone expecting nudity due to her showing at Armageddon). She wears
Bubble Wrap, instead, which is pretty nice, no doubt. ***. Well, that was a fun
waist of ten minutes, lets move on. But, NO it isn’t over yet! Mae Young comes
out, and enters too! She does a terrible little dance, and then FLASHES THE
CROWD! Oh My G-D, that was disgusting! Last I heard, they were fake boobs, but
still … that was TERRIBLE! The worst thing is the judges award Young as the
winner. Okay… (Still agree – Terri wins this one hands down)
- WWF Intercontinental Title, Triple Threat Match: Chris
Jericho vs. Chyna vs. Hardcore Holly: This is back during that lame angle
where Jericho
and Chyna were “co-champions.” This was to decide, once and for all, who was
the real IC champ. Holly gets Chyna out of the way quickly, and has a slapping
match with Jericho.
Chyna (the workrate freak), slaps both men, and then falls to the floor. WHAT A
WRESTLER! Jericho
and Holly have a criss cross leading to Bob’s dropkick. Another criss cross
leads to a Jericho
forearm for two, and they chop eachother for a bit. Holly tries a rana, but
Chris hooks the Walls of Jericho out of it, and Chyna breaks off to earn big
boos. (‘Break me off a piece of that Kit-Kat Bar! Okay, that’s totally
unrelated. But I love Kit-Kats, so any excuse, really) HA HA! It spills
out, and Chris hits a bodyblock out onto Hardcore. Chyna takes him in and hits
the handspring elbow and a DDT for two, saved by Holly. Outside again, where
Holly tries to bash Chyna’s head with a chair, but Chris saves her. Jericho is no longer my
friend. Inside, Chyna wins a slugfest with Jericho. Re-read that last sentence and
quiver. She hits a low blow to follow, and Pedigree’s Holly for two. She heads
up top, but Holly catches up there, and holds her on his shoulders, then Chris
hits a bodyblock from the top for two. Cool spot. The boys go up for a
superplex spot, but Chyna crotches both, and super-duperplexes Holly off! Chyna
gets a chair, knocks Holly with it, and hooks the Walls of Jericho (poorly), so
Jericho
bulldogs her out, and hits the Lionsault for the pin on Chyna at 7:31, to take
the IC title. Big pop for that. Okay match, but nothing special. ** ¼.
- The Rock lets us know that if he can get by Crash Holly,
and Mosh he MIGHT have a chance to win the Rumble tonight. Cole asks him if
he’s concerned with the Big Show, and the Rock embarrasses him, of course.
- WWF Tag Team Title Match: The New Age Outlaws vs. The
Acolytes: This is back when the Road Dogg and Billy still had SOME heat as
a team. Or in general, for that matter. Can you believe that people used to
consider these two the greatest tag team of all time? Lousy Russo. The Acolytes
charge the ring, and take the pretty boys apart, and Bradshaw hits a fallaway
slam on Billy. Faarooq gets in next, and handles Jesse, then clotheslines both
Outlaws. Crowd is dead. The Dogg hits his dancing punches, so a big brawl
breaks out, and Billy gets clotheslined out of his boots. The Acolytes hit a double
powerbomb on Jesse, but X-Pac runs in to stop the cover, and Billy pins
Bradshaw off a fameasser at 2:36. Lousy quickie for time reasons. DUD. The
Outlaws, and DX in general, were at the end of their ropes at this point. (Yeah,
once Triple H broke out as a singles star in late 1999, the rest of the group
was dead in the water trying to keep the group going without him)
- Review of the kick-ass Cactus Jack/Triple H feud. This was
really a cool feud, for me anyway.
- WWF Title Match, Street Fight: Triple H vs. Cactus
Jack: Big staredown to start, and Cactus comes at him with some rights, and
takes the Game down. Into the corner, and Foley hits a series of punches, so
Triple H bails. Cactus follows him out and hits a swinging neckbreaker on the
floor! HHH tries to crawl back in, but Cactus drops a leg on him, choking him
on the bottom rope. He slams Hunter into the steps, and then to the railing,
but Hunter nails him with the ringbell to comeback. He tosses a chair into the
ring, and invites Jack on in, and Cactus obliges, taking a solid one to the
head. Triple H tries to remove the turnbuckle, but Cactus wakes up and
clotheslines him. He gets him down, and drops a leg on his head (with a chair
on top) for two. It goes to the floor, and Cactus backdrops HHH into the crowd,
and they brawl through the fans to the entrance area. Jack gets some wooden
crates, and sets them up, then suplexes Triple H on it. Cactus nails him with a
trashcan, and throws him to the metal entrance way a few times, then rams his
head into it. Cactus tries to drag him back to the ring, as the fans chant
“boring” because they can’t see (in MSG, if you fight in the isle, no one can
see you) but Hunter stops Cactus and side suplexes him on a trash can. We also
see a nasty gash in Triple H’s leg, presumably from one of the wooden crates.
Cactus dumps The Game back in, and finds a 2X4 wrapped in barbwire (with real
barbwire), but Hunter gets a hold of it, and Hunter lays in some good bodyshots
with it. It’s real wire too, so ouch. Jack hits a double arm DDT out of no
where, and it gets two, then the ref. hides the barbwire under the Spanish
table so they won’t use it. Cactus looks for it, but he can’t find it, so he
threatens the ref, and they give it back to him (but it’s a different, non-real
barbwire 2X4). He lays into Hunter, drawing a famous Triple H bladejob, and
keeps pounding him. It spills outside again, and the crowd is gone now. Cactus
tries to piledrive him on the table, but Hunter backdrops out, and Foley goes
through. That woke the crowd up. Inside, and Hunter clobbers him, and tries a
Pedigree, but Cactus fights out, and slingshots him to the corner. Jack drops
Hunter onto the barbwire again, and gets a two count. Damn, Hunter is bleeding
like crazy at this point. Cactus clothesline to the floor, and he charges
Hunter, but gets hip tossed into the steps. Ouch again. HHH whips him into to
the steps to follow up, and they roll back in. As soon as Jack in, Hunter dives
at the bad knee, and then whacks it with the 2X4 a couple times. Hunter heads
out, and gets a pair of handcuffs, as everyone gets Rumble ’99 flashbacks. He cuffs
one hand, but Jack fights back, and charges Hunter, which allows HHH to hits a
low blow. He cuffs the other hand, and Hunter pounds the crap out of him. He
brings the steps inside, and tries to nail Cactus, but the handcuffed Foley
uses a droptoe hold to stop it! He drops a head down low, and goes at Hunter
(while still handcuffed!) but Triple H overcomes it, and grabs a chair. He
works in some vicious chair shots, and hits one so hard it breaks and flies
into the isle. They fight into the isle, and HHH pulls a Rocky by clobbering
him in the head while he’s handcuffed. Cactus begs for more, and then irony
interjects itself, as The Rock actually saves Foley by bashing HHH with a
chair! A cop also comes out, and unlocks Foley’s cuffs. Mick kicks him ass to
the Spanish Table, and this time hits a big wedgie piledriver, but the table
doesn’t break. That did NOT look like fun. Jack dumps him in, and gets a bag of
his favorite toy: thumbtacks! He scatters them in the ring, and the shirtless,
HHH is a perfect target for that. Mick charges him, but Hunter backdrops him
into it! He hits the Pedigree, but it gets TWO! Now the crowd is going nuts,
and chants “Foley, Foley!” Hunter hits another Pedigree, this time into the
pool of tacks, and that’s enough to end this at 26:50. Afterwards, Hunter is
carried out, as we get a look at Foley who is COVERED in tacks from head to
toe. Cactus goes crazy, pulls Hunter off the stretcher, and kicks his ass a
little more, nailing him with the barbwire, and smiling sadistically at
Stephanie. A re-match was needed at No Way Out … in the Hell in a Cell. Oh
Yeah! Damn good match, but not as good as it looked in January. Still, **** ¾. (I
downgraded this to four stars in the BUExperience, but no doubt that it was a
crazy, career defining match. This match MADE Triple H. Not that he remembers,
but before this, people were not at all buying into him as WWF Champion)
- Main Event, Royal Rumble Match: This is with one
and a half minute intervals, and after recently seeing the ’95 version, it is
definitely a pleasant change. D-lo gets #1, and Grandmaster Sexay is #2. Brown
jumps Brian during his dance fest, but D-lo takes a dropkick in return. Brown
tries a powerbomb, but Sexay hits a rana to counter, and a slam. Brian hits a
missile dropkick, and Mosh comes in at #3. He and D-lo team up and pound, and
out run Kai En Tai! The angle here is that Kai En Tai were in the Rumble, but
were bounced to let more uppercarders in, so they decide to run in whenever
they can. And get their asses whipped. It’s a cute idea, that’s for sure.
Christian gets #4, and takes Mosh down quickly, then goes with Grandmaster.
Sexay side suplexes him, but they trade off, and now Christian takes it to
D-lo. This isn’t the E&C of today, however. They’re not the cool guys like
today, but rather just a good tag team. Rikishi gets #5, and one of the biggest
pops of the night. He quickly gets rid of Mosh, and then Christian. D-lo hits a
neckbreaker, and hits leg drop, but the big man no sells, and hits the Rikishi
Driver. Goodbye D-lo. Down to Rikishi and Grandmaster. Rikishi contemplates
kicking his ass, but #6 is Scotty Too Hotty, who calms them down and puts the
sun glasses on Rikishi. And, they dance. Mid-Rumble. This is before it got
really old, and all MSG was marking out for these three. One year later: Hey,
didn’t Too Cool headline METAL this week? As they dance, Rikishi dumps them,
but lets them know “it’s just business.” Blackman is #7, and takes Rikishi to
school. A big “Blackman Sucks” chant goes down as a result. Rikishi quickly
tosses him after that. He’s pulling a Diesel here, kids. (Eh, he’s no Roman Reigns)
Viscera waddles out in the #8 spot, and they slug it out. Viscera wins that,
hits a belly to belly, and then a big leg drop. You go, fat ass! Avalanche by
the big man, but he misses a second, and Rikishi hits three superkicks, to dump
him! The Big Bossman is #9, but actually plays it smart, and refuses to go in.
I mean, would you? A smart man would wait for the next guy to come in and help
him get the wrecking machine out. The problem is that it’s really boring. Test
is #10 (with monster pop), and he kicks the Bossman’s ass on the floor, and
dumps him in. This is before Trish entered the WWF, and Test was a face.
Everyone takes a low blow, but Bossman comes out looking best, and takes it to
everyone. Bulldog gets #11 (in Jeans), but gets hammered by Rikishi. I guess
Davey wore the Jeans because he was afraid to leave the drugs in his pockets
backstage with Road Dogg around. #12 is Gangrel, and I’m as excited as you are.
He doesn’t fare well, however, as Test and Bossman hammer away. Kai En Tai make
another run it, but it doesn’t work out this time either, as they get bounced
quickly. Everyone brawls, but Rikishi plays it smart and rests in the corner.
We get a replay of the 2nd Kai En Tai incident, and we see Taka take a nasty,
face first bump to the floor. It ended up being pretty serious, actually, and
Taka was out for quite a while from it. Edge gets #13 (with a big pop), and he
goes with Gangrel. Rikishi corners Bossman, and hits a Butt Splash, leaving him
in bad shape. Bob Backlund is #14 (getting a super big pop, which I like to
see) and he helps the other guys toss Rikishi, which does NOT make the crowd
very happy. One thing I like about MSG, the crowd doesn't forget wrestling
legends. They still give them big pops. Jericho
is #15, getting a great pop, and he and Edge go right at it. He lets off Edge
for a second and dumps Backlund (boo!), and fights Edge some more. Backlund
takes his loss in stride, however, walking out through the crowd. Good for him.
Crash Holly gets #16, and Edge quickly spanks him, for some reason. Pretty
lumbering Rumble going on right now. #17 is Chyna (with a dull pop), and she
heads directly for Jericho.
Don’t worry Airbrush Girl, it still won’t get you over. She and Jericho eliminate
eachother, so it’s a plus and a minus, which should even it out, I guess. Even
though Jericho
is light-years better. Faarooq is #18, but gets quickly tossed as the Mean
Street Posse (on the same boat as Kai En Tai) run out and beat on him. #19 is
the Road Dogg, and he goes right after Test, which backfires. I’m surprised he
didn’t go for Bulldog, and fight for the drugs. Oh well, saving it for
WrestleMania I guess. Al Snow comes in at #20, and right then Road Dogg DOES
toss Davey. I guess he’s catching on. Good for him. #21 is Val Venis, when he
was still a porn star. He heads after Test right away, which seems to be a
trend in this Rumble. It is smart though, as Test was #10, and is not as fresh
as anyone else. Well, technically, Bossman was #9, but he stayed outside the
ring for his time, so it doesn’t count. Albert gets #22, and brawls with
Bossman, as Venis tosses Edge. Road Dogg, the laziest of them all, doesn’t do
crap, as he hangs on to the bottom rope and doesn’t move. Bum. Hardcore Holly
is #23, and follows the trend by attacking Test. All the kids are doing it!
It’s the perfect Holiday Gift: The “Test Ass Kicking Doll.” CALL NOW! The Rock
is #24, and blows the roof off MSG (DUH), and this is EXACTLY what this Rumble
needs. A house of fire. Thank G-D too, because it was getting pretty boring. He
tosses Bossman first, but gets caught in the wrong corner with Hardcore. #25 is
Billy Gunn, and he heads straight for the Rock. Dumb ass, the Rock is FRESH. Go
for Test, or Gangrel of something. Crash makes the mistake of getting in
Miavia’s face, and it’s bye-bye little guy. Everyone takes turns beating on the
Rock, as Snow pounds the rope-hanging Road Dogg. The Big Show is #26, which was
a big deal at the time, because he had an issue with the Rock. He tosses Test
and Gangrel (see HE’S smart) right away, and goes over to the Rock for some ass
whuppin’. The Show hits a monster press slam on Hardcore, and Bradshaw makes
his way out at #27, with no pop. The Posse runs in again, and go for Bradshaw,
but it backfires. He tosses all three, but the NAO toss Bradshaw right after.
Whatever. #28 ends up being Kane, and he tosses Venis before you can say “slow
lumbering 7-foot jobber.” Okay, maybe that IS a bit long, but whatever. Kane
tosses Albert next, and the Godfather comes in at #29, with a line of ho’s. The
Show kicks his ass too. X-Pac is #30, and now we go to the final portion.
- X-Pac goes right after Rocky, as Snow tosses Holly. Kane
must be Bob’s friend, however, as he kills Snow in retaliation. The Show rids
us of the Godfather (before he was the Goodfather), and Rocky tosses Snow. Gee
this is moving fast! Gunn tosses Road Dogg, and Kane dumps Billy. Final
Four: Kane, Rocky, X-Pac, Big Show. Not bad, actually. Rocky quickly tosses
X-Pac (in a great bump), but the ref. didn’t see it, so he comes back in. Eh,
whatever. Kane hits an enzuguri and a slam (!) on the Show, but X-Pac kicks him
out right after. He hits a BroncoBuster on the big guy, but it makes no difference,
as the Show Press Slam’s him out in another great bump. Down to two! Rocky
takes him down fast with a spinebuster, and hits the People’s Elbow (with mad
pop)! He tries to eliminate him, but Paul hits the chokeslam, and looks to toss
the Great One. He show boats too much, however, as they both go over the top,
but only the Show’s feet touch, and Rocky skin’s the cat back in to win at
51:30. Later footage would prove that the Rock’s feet touched first, and that
the Show should have really won. The Rumble was good enough, but not great. ***
¼.
- Afterwards, the Rock does his usual mic work, so the Show
comes back out and kicks his ass, earning an “asshole” chant.
- Bottom Line: Good show here! It looked better in
January, but it still holds up one year later. Nothing really sucked (not
counting the quickie tag title match), and you had some really good stuff in
the Table Match, and the classic Street Fight for the title. The Rumble is good
enough, too, but pretty pointless in the overall scheme of things, as
WrestleMania would end up featuring HHH/Foley/Rock/Show, and therefore the
Rock’s win means nothing. In addition, later footage proves that the Show
actually won anyway.
- Still, Recommended.
- Also, should Cactus/HHH win Match of the Year (PWI’s),
then I think I’d more strongly recommend seeing this show, but I doubt they’ll
win for this match, with what the WWF still had to come. (Indeed, the Triangle Ladder
Match from WrestleMania ended up winning)
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