Saturday, July 12, 2014

WWF Monday Night RAW (July 25, 1994)



Original Airdate: July 25, 1994 (Taped July 1)

From Bushkill, Pennsylvania; Your Hosts are Jim Ross and Randy Savage.

Over the weekend on Superstars, Ted DiBiase announces that he's officially made a deal with Lex Luger. Before Luger can even refute those claims, Tatanka shows up, and calls him a sell out. You know, you can't blame Luger for being pissed. This is like that episode of Welcome Back Kotter, where something goes missing, and everyone assumes the black kid stole it. And, I mean yeah, he did. But they should have asked him, and not immediately accused him

Opening $10,000 Challenge Match: Nikolai Volkoff v Tatanka: If Tatanka wins, he gets DiBiase's $10,000. Tatanka with an armbar to control early, but Volkoff slugs him into the corner, and drives an axehandle into the back. Volkoff controls in really dull fashion with a variety of chokes, which I assume he learned alongside of DiBiase's new Undertaker. Tatanka comes back with tomahawk chops, but Nikolai doesn't want all his Undertaker training going to waste, and elbows him down for more chokes. Tatanka dropkicks him out of the ring, and DiBiase coaches him out there. He pulls Tatanka out for a shot into the steps, and inside, moves on to stomping. Boo! We paid to see chokes! Tatanka gets bored, and JIGS UP!! Tomahawk Chops! Flying Tomahawk! Inside Cradle! 6:13! Afterwards, Randy Savage charges into the ring to help Tatanka collect. DiBiase pays, but taunts him by saying that he may have beaten Volkoff, but he could never do that to 'his' Lex Luger. That draws Luger himself out, but he doesn't refute DiBiase's claims, instead just challenging Tatanka. Of course, DiBiase had nothing on the line here, since Tatanka was working for him all along anyway. I'm assuming Volkoff wasn't in on the plan though, and it goes to show that DiBiase just didn't think enough of him to think he was any actual threat to Tatanka. DUD

The Headshrinkers v Barry Hardy and Joey Stallings: I almost forgot they were tag team champions at this point. What a dull run this was. Even Lou Albano looks bored. And it's hard to look bored with that much cocaine in your system, so that's saying something. Usual Headshrinker squash, with Fatu finishing Stallings with a flying splash at 3:48. DUD

Cute RAW Girl Sign of the Week: When Was The Last Time You Got It RAW

Jim Neidhart v Jim Powers: I loved Owen so much during this period, that he might even succeed in making this Neidhart squash bearable with his antics. And, dear lord, with Vince going on trial for his life, did they really need jobbers who look like they might still have their steroid needle hanging out of their ass out there? Even John Gotti was more subtle. Hilarious sign in the crowd: Hart Brake! Slow, dull squash from the Anvil, until he hooks a camel clutch to finish at 3:00. DUD

Jim Ross brings Alundra Blayze out for an in-ring interview, wearing the Kill Bill yellow leather suit about ten years too early. Innovator! I love how their claims of her 'stampeding her way thorough all the competition.' What? She's only had one challenger since winning the damn title over six months prior. Anyway, next week, she faces Luna Vachon's protégé, Bull Nakano for the title

New Generation promo, though it might actually be an early draft script of Analyze This

Yokozuna v Adam Bomb: Staredown to start, and Yoko slaps him around, then hits a clothesline. Bomb fights back with right hands, and wins a criss cross with a clothesline of his own, but it can't take Yoko down. Two more and a diving shoulderblock manage to knock him out of the ring though, and Bomb beckons him back in for a test-of-strength, as Ross and Savage start talking about Walter Peyton for no discernable reason as his involvement in SummerSlam hadn't been announced yet. Yoko with a cheapshot to take over, and a cross corner whip sets up another clothesline. God, I know you worked a ton with Lex Luger, but you didn't have to let it rub off. Nervehold next, as I immediately regret anything negative I said about the clotheslines. Doesn't last too long though, as Bomb fights out, but he walks into another clothesline. Avalanche misses, however, and Adam DDTs him to set up the flying clothesline. Cue Kwang to trip him up before he can finish (since Bomb is a face now, and he's going straight to the top level feuds), and that leads to him getting counted out at 8:00. Energetic enough for what it was, but certainly nothing special. ¼*

SummerSlam Report! Only three matches announced so far, but if you order more of that horrible looking Dominos Pizza, maybe they'll announce another one!

SummerSlam promo

Duke Droese v Duane Gill: Jerry Lawler calls in to taunt Droese on commentary, as they continue to push that lame feud. Oddly, Gill looks like more of a loser here, with his pink animal print tights, and long haired balding man look then during his intentionally stupid Gillberg phase. Duke with the Trash Compactor to finish at 2:30. The new finisher was definitely a step up from that elbowdrop, that's for sure. ¼*

BUExperience: Both of the feature matches are pretty terrible, and nothing eventful otherwise. Standard third week of taping episode, basically.

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