WWF No Mercy (October 1999)

From Cleveland, Ohio; Your Hosts are Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler.

Opening Match: The Godfather v Mideon: Mmm, some nice hos in Cleveland. Someone should really use the power of the internet to track all these old hos down, and interview them, or something. Anyway, Godfather controls with ease, and goes for the Ho Train early on, but gets distracted by Viscera accosting his hos, and Mideon knocks him out of the ring. Back in, Mideon controls with a backelbow for two, as the crowd just dies before our very eyes. Mideon's response? Chinlock time! Godfather tries a sunset flip, but the referee is caught up with Viscera, and Mideon takes over again. Viscera fires off cheapshots at will, but Mideon can't put him away, even with the power of flabby forearms on his side. 2^nd rope pointed elbowdrop misses, and Godfather bodyslams him for two. He goes for the kill, so Viscera gets involved again, but messes up, and Godfather hits the Ho Train for the pin at 7:31. Bad opener, as it put the crowd right to sleep. ¼*

WWF Women's Title Match: Ivory v The Fabulous Moolah: Man, I know I made all those Wendi Richter comparisons in the Rebellion review, but they weren't meant to be taken literally. Ivory attacks her from behind with a quick dropkick for two, then drops a series of legs and elbows for two. Cross corner whip, but a charge misses, and Moolah tries a splash off the bottom rope - which also misses. Embarrassing sequence there, as Moolah is moving so slowly (with Ivory slowing her stuff down in response) that every move looks completely phony. Ivory tosses her out of the ring, so Mae Young tries getting involved, but gets dropkicked off the apron. Ivory with a tope out after Moolah (in theory, in reality she pretty much just face planted, and Moolah sold it anyway), and hits Mae again, just 'cause. She grabs the title belt to go for the kill, but Mae distracts her, and Moolah wins the title with a rollup so poorly executed it makes Steve Austin's SummerSlam '97 rollup look textbook at 3:01. Ugh. It's rare a three minute match falls into negative stars, but there you go. Embarrassingly bad. -*

The New Age Outlaws v Hardcore Holly and Crash Holly: Brawl on the floor to start, and inside, Billy Gunn starts with Crash. Gunn with a bodyslam and an elbowdrop for two, and he tags Jesse James in. Why is Billy wearing his stupid see-thru tights again? Haven't we talked about that already? Road Dogg with his usual dancing spots to draw Hardcore in, and Jesse ends up going flying out over the top for Hardcore to jump. The Holly's cut the ring in half, and Hardcore's extra delayed vertical suplex gets two. James manages to crotch Hardcore on the top turnbuckle and hit a superplex to allow the tag to Billy, and Gunn comes in hot. Four-way brawl, and Hardcore slides a chair into the ring, so Billy Fameasser's Crash onto it - and gets disqualified for it at 10:11. Ha! Match was pretty dull TV stuff for the most part, but the ending was a nice twist on the usual WWF style booking. ½*

WWF Intercontinental Title Good Housekeeping Match: Jeff Jarrett v Chyna: 'Good Housekeeping' essentially means that a bunch of typical household items are scattered around the ring, and can be used as weapons. This is a case where the back story is more interesting than the match, as Jarrett's contract had expired, and he refused to go out and job unless the WWF paid him all the money he was due upfront. Vince McMahon considered this 'holding him up,' and has never forgiven Jarrett, though really, given Vince's track record, can you blame Jeff? I'd have done the same thing, frankly. Brawl on the floor to start, and inside, Chyna clotheslines him. Inverted atomic drop, and a vertical suplex hit, then she blasts him with a trashcan a couple of times. Out again, Jarrett gets whacked with a salami, and crowned with a toilet seat. Hey, give Jeff his due, he’s essentially agreeing to make himself look like a total idiot on his way out, and that’s class. Chyna goes through a table on a missed elbowdrop, which gets Jeff two on the floor. Oh, so I guess its falls count anywhere now, too. Jeff uses the trashcan a couple times, and whacks her with an ironing board on the way back in. Jeff mixes eggs and milk into a bowl, and tries to dump it on Chyna, but it backfires, and ends up on Miss Kitty. Chyna gets caught up with Kitty, however, and Jeff puts her in the figure four. She makes the ropes, and grabs a pair of tongs – picking herself up a hotdog, and two potatoes. Kitchen sink puts Jarrett down, but it only gets two, so she tries a Pedigree, but Jeff counters with a slingshot into the referee. Kitty hands Jarrett the title belt, and he nails Chyna with it for the pin at 8:19. However, poetic justice strikes, as the referee tells Jeff that the title belt isn’t a 'household item,' so the match must continue. Good callback to the Unforgiven there, when Chyna defeated Jarrett, but the decision was reversed. The match kicks off again, and Chyna quickly uses the guitar to get the pin and title at 8:33. Not a great match, but entertaining, and hit all the right notes. And say what you will about Jarrett, but he went out there and sold like a champ ahead of a clean job to a woman on pay per view. Vince may still be pissed, but frankly, a lot of guys in his good graces would have likely just put the title belt in the mail, and no-showed all together. ½*

The Rock v Davey Boy Smith: Slugfest to start, won by Rocky, and he dumps Bulldog. On the floor, Bulldog meets the timekeepers table, but ever the good host, he introduces Rock to his date, the steel chair. Rocky then presents his son, the steel steps, and Davey shows Rock his bastard child, the announce table. Well, now that the formalities are over with, we go in so Davey can take his breathtaking somersault bump in the corner. Yeah, I’m sure THAT was great for his bad back. Neckbreaker gets Rocky two, so Davey fires back with a hanging suplex for two. Crowd is dead, something that isn’t at all helped by Davey going to the chinlock all the time. I think he thinks this is still 1996, and this is some newcomer named Rocky Maivia, who should be treated like a jobber. He also probably thinks he is still holding two titles, and teaming with Owen Hart, and when he chinlocks, he’s probably looking around the ring, wondering where Jim Cornette went off to. Davey misses a big boot, crotching himself in the ropes, and Rocky DDTs him for two. Bulldog hits the Running Powerslam (with the 'run' being reduced to a three-step jog), but Rock’s in the ropes. He tries again, but Rock escapes, hits the Rock Bottom, and then finishes with the People’s Elbow at 7:18. Well, that was a big old piece of bulldog shit. ¼*

Terri Invitational Tournament Best of Seven Series: $100,000 Ladder Match: Edge & Christian v The Hardy Boyz: Winners get the managerial services of Terri. Both teams have no heat (the Hardyz are actually heels at this point, and have Gangrel in their corner), and this match was essentially where both teams made their bones, and got over. E&C dominate to start, throwing the Boyz around, but keep getting jumped every time they go for the ladders. The Hardyz take over, but Edge backdrops Jeff Hardy over the top. Train wreck on the floor, with Christian coming out on top. He climbs for the big, but Jeff pulls him off. He climbs, but Edge pull him off, and climbs. Matt Hardy responds by pushing him off, and toppling the ladder. This is moving at breakneck pace, not even going to bother with flow, just going to call off spots here. Christian dropkicks the ladder at Jeff, and E&C try to Stinger splash Matt, but he moves, and Edge eats ladder. Christian brings Jeff off the ladder with an inverted DDT, then climbs himself, but gets side suplexed off my Matt. Matt climbs, but gets powerbombed by Edge, and now HE climbs. Jeff stops it with a missile dropkick, and hits the Swanton bomb on him. The Hardyz control, and abuse Christian with the ladder a bit. Jeff goes to the top rope, and then leapfrogs over the ladder to drop a leg on Christian! That earns him his first ever pop. Matt with a moonsault on the ladder (which was on top of Christian), and Edge joins in again - taking the Hardyz out with a second ladder, and then climbing for the prize. Matt stops it, however, by throwing a ladder at him. E&C abuse Matt’s crotch with the ladder, in some 'I hope he’s wearing a cup' type spots, then sandwich Jeff in a ladder, and beat the shit out of him. Jeff with a cutter on Christian, and he and Edge fight up two separate ladders. Edge wins that with a falling chin crusher off of it. Edge climbs again, but Matt neckbreakers him off! Jeff and Christian climb opposite sides of the same ladder, and Christian slams Jeff off! Jeff then uses the two ladders as a see-saw, taking out both Edge AND Matt. Everyone climbs the two ladders now, but they all tip, and everyone hits the ropes in different ways. They crowd is giving a standing ovation to these guys at this point, and rightly so. Everyone climbs again, and in a creative series of spots that has to be seen to believed, Jeff switches ladders in mid-air, and snags the bag at 16:28, then takes one more massive bump back to the mat. I tell ya man, these four go go go go go together like chinchilla and bad weather, they're good, but they've been better. At the time, this was heralded as an instant classic, and understandably so, as it was 1999, and the in-ring product was shit pretty much that entire year in both of the big two, with the world yet to witness all the TLCs and MitBs, and stuff. Today, it’s still a hell of a bump/spot fest, but it's certainly been overshadowed by more modern multi-man ladder matches - including many featuring these same four participants. Still, a non-stop, game-changing, influential match. *** ½

Mankind v Val Venis: Yeah, good luck following that one, guys. I don’t know why they didn’t just do Venis/Bulldog versus Rock/Mankind for the tag titles, since Rock & Sock were holding them at this point anyway. Val must be pissed about that too, because he attacks Mankind before he even gets into the ring. Sadly for him, he's wrestling Mick Foley, so that doesn't turn out too well. Inside, Mankind hammers him into the corner for a running kneesmash, and he drops a leg downstairs. With the part injured, Mankind reaches into Val's tights, and pulls the sock out. At this point, I feel the need to clarify that Val had stolen Socko during the buildup to this, so that wasn't just a moment of random sexual harassment, but in fact, a moment of very specified sexual harassment. Unfortunately for Mankind, Venis doesn't appreciate having his balls cupped on pay per view by a fat guy in a leather mask, and he chokes him on the ropes before stealing the sock back. You know, considering where that thing has been, Mick would have been wise to simply cut his losses, and buy a new sock. I know he's known for being a cheapskate, but sometimes you just gotta splurge. Val stands a chair up and side suplexes Mankind onto it, then bounces his head off of the ringpost for good measure. Inside, he hits a Russian legsweep onto the chair for two. Has this suddenly become no holds barred, and they forgot to tell us? Val keeps working the neck/head, bouncing Mankind's head off the mat like a basketball, then firing a clothesline at the neck for two. Kneedrop to the neck gets two, and a bulldog sets up a 2^nd rope elbowdrop to the neck. Money Shot, but Mankind rolls out of the way, and hits him with the double-arm DDT as they recover - getting two. Mandible Claw, but Val counters by crunching his nuts with a testicular claw (Lawler: 'now there's the true rock and sock connection!'), and Mankind falls back for Venis to pin at 9:26. Good match here, with Val working the neck like a mofo, and Mankind selling for him. The ending left me cold if only because all the neck/head work didn't factor in at all, but it wasn't a bad ending on its own. **

Four Corners Elimination Match: Kane v X-Pac v Bradshaw v Faarooq: Big brawl to start, with everyone working along party lines. The Acolytes wreck X-Pac, and team up on Kane for a bit, but Faarooq gets caught with an enzuigiri, and tags out to X-Pac. He goes right at his tag team partner, but gets quickly overwhelmed, and clotheslined. Chokeslam, but Bradshaw breaks it up by tagging himself in. Why? It's elimination rules, idiot. That backfires when X-Pac tags Faarooq, however, and the Acolytes exchange shoulderblocks before settling in to focusing their aggression on X-Pac. They cut the ring in half on him like it's a straight tag match, but X-Pac manages to block Bradshaw's side superplex, and hit a tornado DDT to allow the tag to Kane. Kane comes in hot, and a chokeslam finishes Bradshaw at 8:25. Before he can celebrate, partner X-Pac comes off the top with a flying spinheel kick to eliminate Kane at 8:32. Faarooq attacks, and tries a Dominator through the announce table, but X-Pac slips free, and DDTs him on the floor. Back in, he sets up the bronco buster, but ends up charging into a spinebuster. Faarooq tries a Samoan superdrop, but X-Pac slips free again, and brings him down with the X-Factor at 10:08. I don't like four corners matches that are essentially just tag team matches, unless they produce cool partner/partner segments - which this didn't. ½*

Main Event: WWF Title No Holds Barred Match: Triple H v Steve Austin: Austin attacks him during the entrances, and they go right into the brawl around the arena bit, but manage to work in a creative spot where Austin commandeers one of the overhead cameras, and leverage the boom right into Hunter's face. Okay, with that out of the way, we finally head in (and I mean FINALLY, as we're near ten minutes into this already), where HHH stomps him. Austin snaps off the Stunner, but the referee is down from the earlier brawl, so no count. Steve goes out to try and revive him, but it backfires when Hunter is waiting with a Pedigree for two. He gets into a shoving match with the referee over the count, but gets caught in a Thesz press from Austin, and hit with a pointed elbowdrop for two. Austin's heat is just off the charts here. He tosses the champ out of the ring for another brawl on the floor, and Hunter blades as they fight over to the announce table. Inside, that gets Austin a pair of two counts. Back out to the floor, Austin whips him into the steps, then chokes him with a cable, but gets whacked with the ring bell, and suplexed onto the Spanish announce table. Inside, HHH stomps a mud hole in the corner, and clips Steve's knee. Hunter wraps it around the post next, and slaps on a leglock. Hey, psychology is all well and good, but too little too late if you ask me. You can't spend fifteen minutes brawling all around the arena, and they suddenly try turning it into Flair/Steamboat. Hunter with a kneeling facebuster for two, but a trip to the top rope gets the champ superplexed, and Austin goes ballistic with a chair - WrestleMania X-7 style. Hunter blows him low to break that up, so cue The Rock, with a sledgehammer in tow. He swings, but ends up hitting Austin by accident, and HHH hooks the leg to retain at 21:53. Not my cup of tea, but the crowd was super into it. It's worth noting that the in-ring stuff was fine, but there was way too much outside the ring brawling, and overbooking in the finish. *

BUExperience: The Russo era may have been officially over, but his fingerprints are still all over this show. This was fairly well received at the time, but like a lot of Attitude Era stuff, it hasn’t aged well at all. Today, the only match anyone remembers from this is the ladder match, and that has since been overshadowed anyway.

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