WWF Rebellion (October 1999)

From Birmingham, England; Your Hosts are Jim Ross and Michael Hayes.

Opening WWF Intercontinental Title Match: Jeff Jarrett v D-Lo Brown: Jarrett (in the midst of his male chauvinist angle with Chyna) offers a plant $1,000 to 'show us what women were put on earth to do,' and vacuum the ring. Uh, Jeff, wrong kind of sucking. He then snaps, and puts her in the figure four, until Chyna runs out to save. Okay, and with that out of the way, we have a match! Jarrett tries attacking, but Brown sees it coming, and hits a diving forearm, then a powerslam for two. Sky High for two, and Jarrett bails before D-Lo can do anymore damage. He grabs his title belt and decides to walk, but Brown chases him, and beats him back in - only to run into a sleeper as they enter. Brown manages a hanging vertical suplex to break, but Jarrett blocks a 2^nd rope axehandle with a dropkick, then hits a tornado DDT. Brown fires back with a sitout powerbomb to leave both men looking up at the lights, and he hits a tilt-a-whirl slam follows by a leg lariat as they recover. Bodyslam sets up a legdrop for two, but a dive off the middle rope hits Jeff's boot. Jarrett goes to the top, but Brown is ready with a superplex - only for Jeff to cradle him on the way down for two. Excellent spot there. Jeff tries the figure four, but D-Lo shoves him out to block, so Miss Kitty hops up on the apron to distract the challenger, and Jarrett whacks him with the vacuum cleaner for the pin at 6:01. Too short to really be anything (they rushed to the finish, and it looked awkward), but Jarrett was just killing it during this period - his heel tactics perfect for this level on the card. **

The Godfather v Gangrel: Wow, if you thought Jerry Lawler could be creepy on commentary, consider yourself lucky if you've never heard Michael Hayes. Godfather controls with a headlock early on, but cracks Gangrel with a short-clothesline when he tries escaping. He takes him on a tour of the ring with four turnbuckle smashes, but gets caught with a DDT as they criss cross, and Gangrel follows with a backelbow. He controls for a bit, but a 2^nd rope pointed elbowdrop misses, and Godfather hits a pair of clotheslines, then a bodyslam for two. Ho Train and the Pimp Drop finish at 4:04. Basically Gangrel wrestling himself, but it was short enough that Godfather kept up well enough. ½*

Mark Henry v Val Venis: Val controls with right hands early on, but takes a quick powerslam for two. Henry tries clotheslining him out, but Venis counters with a backdrop over the top, and follows with a baseball slide. He tries a slam out there, but Mark's too heavy (why the fuck would you even try that?), and it gets reversed. Inside, Val tries to recover with a standing dropkick, and he adds a Russian legsweep for two. Schoolboy for two, and a bulldog sets up a series of elbowdrops. Money Shot finishes at 3:02. Wow, that was a total squash. Who did Henry piss off that week? ¼*

WWF Women's Title Four Corners Match: Ivory v Luna Vachon v Tori v Jacqueline: Ivory looks remarkably like Wendi Richter at this point. Ivory taunts the others with the title belt before the bell, and ends up getting speared by Luna, and vertical suplexed by Tori. All three stomp the champ, but then fight over who gets to score the fall, of course. Jacqueline controls with bodyslams on everyone, but can't finish without someone breaking up the count. They work in a four-way sleeper spot, and Ivory ends up whacking Jacqueline with the title belt to score the fall at 3:16. That's kinda ridiculously short for a Four Corners match, but they really weren't doing anything that made me want to see them go longer, so no harm. DUD

Chris Jericho v Jesse James: Jesse attacks him on the floor, and they spill into the crowd right away. Ugh, leave that shit for the main eventers, please. James dominates, and inside the ring, he hits an alleyoop into the ropes. Jesse Flair flips him into a tree of woe, but a charge ends in him taking a stungun, and Chris follows with a springboard dropkick to put James on the floor. Mr. Hughes beats on him out there, and Chris brings Jesse back in with a hanging vertical suplex for two. Chinlock, but Jesse powers up, so Jericho dropkicks him, and hits a slingshot splash for two. Bootchoke in the corner, and a springboard bulldog gets two. Another chinlock, but James escapes, and superplexes him. Swinging neckbreaker gets two, but Chris hits a spinebuster, and a release German suplex. Springboard moonsault misses, however, and James unloads the dancing punches and the equally festive kneedrops. Unfortunately for him, Hughes whacks him with a chair, and Jericho covers for a dramatic two count. Oh, wow, I thought that was the finish right there. And it should have been, as James makes a five second comeback, takes a low blow, and gets pinned for real at 10:30. These two were not clicking at all, and the match veered wildly from WWF style to WCW style, with neither guy able to properly adapt. I can see why some people within the promotion were saying Jericho 'couldn't work' during this period. ½*

Jeff Jarrett v Chyna: Jeff charges right in and starts punching her in the face, but Chyna's plastic surgery must be the good stuff, because she's still in it. 2^nd rope axehandle, but she blows him low on the way down. Pedigree, but Jarrett counters into a slingshot - only to miss a straddling ropechoke to allow Chyna an electric chair. She goes to finish, but in comes Davey Boy Smith, and Jarrett gets disqualified at 1:38. Well, that was useless. DUD

No Disqualification Match: Kane v Big Show: Big staredown to start, and Show tries striking first, but Kane is ready, and hits a few shots of his own. Show with a dropkick to knock him out of the ring, but Kane lands on his feet, and snaps Show's neck across the top rope. He hustles in for a ten-punch count, and follows with a dropkick of his own. Bodyslam, but he can't lift the big guy, and gets headbutted. Show with a backbreaker into a backbreaker submission, but Kane slugs back, so Show gives him an inverted DDT for two. Boston crab (would it have killed him to finish the shout out to Sting with a Deathlock?), but Kane won't quit, and hits an enzuigiri. Bodyslam, but Show topples him for two. He misses an elbowdrop follow-up, however, and Kane DDTs him. Flying clothesline sets up a chokeslam, but Show blocks, and knocks him out of the ring for a whip into the steps. He grabs a chair to justify the stipulations that they've ignored thus far, but it gets kicked back into his face, and Kane successfully bodyslams him for the pin at 7:54. What was the point of the No DQ stipulation? As noted elsewhere, I sat through this match at a house show in January 2014, going to show that those who don't learn from history really are doomed to repeat it. ¼*

X-Pac v Davey Boy Smith: Bulldog overpowers him in the early going - tossing him around, and allowing X-Pac to bump like a pinball. Good booking there. Davey tosses him out of the ring with ease, and forces him to crawl back in, where Davey is waiting with a hanging vertical suplex for two. Chinlock goes on for a long while, until X-Pac escapes, and hits a spinheel kick. Spinkick sets up the bronco buster, but Davey crotches him on the ropes before he can follow-up on it, and hits the Running Powerslam for the pin at 5:11. Well booked, and X-Pac sold wonderfully throughout, but not much of a match otherwise. ¼*

#1 Contender's Triangle Match: Edge and Christian v The Acolytes v Hardcore Holly and Crash Holly: Edge starts with Hardcore, and wins a criss cross with a backdrop, then follows with a quick leg lariat. Holly with a leg lariat of his own as they criss cross again, and both guys tag to their respective partners. Christian comes in with a flying bodypress, but Crash rolls through for two. Tag back to Hardcore, and Christian passes to Faarooq to powerslam him. Powerbomb, but Hardcore counters into a side suplex, and both guys tag their partners. Bradshaw tosses Crash around, and a side superplex hits. Hardcore lends an assist with a cheapshot, but gets caught up with Faarooq, and Bradshaw eliminates Crash with a lariat at 3:22. Edge charges in with a spear, and adds a swinging neckbreaker before Bradshaw knocks what's going on. 2^nd rope shoulderblock hits, but Bradshaw big boots him out of the ropes, and tags. Faarooq gives Edge a whoopin', but walks into a spinheel kick, and passes back to Bradshaw. Powerbomb, but Edge backdrops free, and tags - only for Christian to bodypress his way into a blockbuster. The Acolytes cut the ring in half, but Christian escapes the Dominator, and DDTs Faarooq to allow for the tag. Dear lord, JR still can't tell Edge and Christian apart here, can he? Seriously, dude, one has a shirt, one doesn't. Get it together! Anyway, the match quickly breaks down into a four-way brawl, and Edge tornado DDTs Bradshaw for the pin at 9:03. Total crash booking, but it worked for what it was. *

Main Event: WWF Title Cage Match: Triple H v The Rock: Well, at least the cage should keep them in the ring for once. Slugfest to start, won by Rock, but a backdrop fails, and Hunter hammers him back. Rock catches him with a backelbow and makes the first escape attempt, but HHH breaks it up, and pounds him in the corner. Unfortunately, they've subbed nothing but punch-kick stuff in for the 'brawl around the arena' section of these matches. Like, seriously, we're near five minutes in, and I don't think an actual move has been executed yet. Rock blinks first with a swinging neckbreaker, and he climbs again, but HHH pulls him down. More punch-kick, and Hunter rams him into the cage, as JR gives us the 'how could anyone be dumb enough to think this is fake?' spiel. I love Jim Ross, but he was really getting annoying during this period. Now, a plethora of wrestling moves, as Rock hits a Samoan drop, Hunter follows with a kneeling facebuster, and then hits a clothesline. That's enough to leave both men down, and HHH is up first for a climb, but Rock slams him down to stop it. Rock Bottom, but he can't escape. HHH goes for the door, but the referee gets bumped as he tries to pull a chair in, and misses Rock escaping. With the referee down, Hunter follows Rock out for a brawl into the crowd. Ha, and here I thought we'd be spared that, given that it's, you know, a cage match, and all. I should feel stupid, and I do. Rock whacks him with a chair to draw blood, and he puts Hunter through a table, but that poor referee is still down. Back into the cage, Rock bounces him off of the sides, and hits a DDT as the referee comes back to life. Jesus, it's been long enough. Rock tries climbing, but now Davey Boy Smith runs out, and shoves him down. Cue Shane McMahon to kick HIS ass now, but Davey powerslams him on the floor, so Gerald Brisco and Pat Patterson run out. Davey takes them out too, and then walks into the cage to beat up HHH some as well. Rock Bottom for Hunter, so Chyna runs down to slam the door in Rocky's face before he can exit. Fuck, just when you think there can't be any more overbooking, they heap on another scoop. Rock and Hunter end up slugging it out atop the cage, and Smith attacks Rock to allow Hunter to escape at 22:17. Only during the Attitude Era would you get a cage match with a brawl into the crowd, and multiple run-ins. ½*

BUExperience: Ever heard the expression ‘sometimes less is more?’ Vince Russo clearly didn’t.

DUD