WWF Monday Night RAW (September 19, 1994)

Original Airdate: September 19, 1994 (Taped August 15)

From Lowell, Massachusetts; Your Hosts are Vince McMahon and Randy Savage

On Superstars over the weekend, Tatanka showed up on the Heartbreak Hotel to brag about all the money he's making from Ted DiBiase. You'd think the first thing he'd do is buy a nicer suit, but given that DiBiase himself was walking around in something that looks like it came from the Salvation Army's reject pile, maybe not

Opening Match: Lex Luger v The Executioner: As the bell sounds, we get a look at an editor from WWF Magazine at ringside taking notes - which becomes important later. Luger looks pretty energetic here, as he actually works in a few nearfalls with the masked jobber (most squashes from this period don't even involve covers between moves), and he powerslams Executioner ahead of hooking the Rebel Rack at 3:00. Savage: 'whoever the Executioner is, I hope he's a friend of Tatanka's!' That's just cruel, Macho Man. ¼*

Jerry Lawler v Duke Droese: Long stall session from the King - which is not particularly surprising. He milks it for all it's worth, coming in and taking since moves (like backdrops or clotheslines), then bailing for extended periods. Lawler tries pulling an object out of his tights (which, say what you will, certainly gets the crowd into it - especially the kids), and he clocks Duke with it during a test-of-strength. Lawler hammers him for a while, but keeps stopping to play to the crowd, rather than finish him. The match drags on and on (and ON), until Jerry goes for the kill with a 2^nd rope fistdrop and the Piledriver, but Dink (of 'Doink and Dink' fame) pops out of Droese's trashcan, and squirts the King in the face with some water - Duke getting the countout victory at 11:30. This had no business at this level, but like the Bushwhackers last week, this was taped so far in advance of airing, that they needed to use guys who weren't otherwise involved in SummerSlam. –¾*

Action Zone promo

Hot RAW Girl Sign of the Week: I Like It Shaken, Stirred, and RAW

The Heavenly Bodies v Mike Bell and Steve King: Considering they were appealing to kids as the time, I don't know why they even bothered with the Bodies, as no one my age (nine in 1994) took these guys seriously. They're definitely the kind of team that you can appreciate more as an adult (they are good workers), but their whole look SCREAMS 'pedophile in a gold Trans Am.' And, sure, that's scary in its own right... just not in the way they were aiming for. Del-Ray score the fall with a flying moonsault at 2:30. ¼*

Hey, speaking of pedophiles, here's another New Generation promo with a priest amusing himself to images of men in tights

Vince McMahon brings Bob Backlund out for an in-ring interview, to clarify his actions after his clean loss to Bret Hart on Superstars. Bob offers no apologies, and rants and raves like a lunatic. See, Backlund didn't have 'the look' either, but unlike the Heavenly Bodies, he terrified you in a way that didn't look like it was written by Dennis Lehane. Finally, Bob offers up a deal: if anyone can escape the Crossface Chickenwing, he will retire. Well, good deal! Who's first? Hey, how about that WWF Magazine editor conveniently at ringside? He stupidly agrees, and Backlund goes full Hannibal Lecter on him, tearing his arm near out of the socket with a look of brilliant madness in his eyes until Randy Savage runs in to save - with even Vince diving onto him to try and break it up. This was just off the charts great, with everyone playing their parts perfectly, and really getting Backlund over as this terrifying Lecter-like lunatic. So, yeah, this segment pretty much saved this whole show right here

Bob Holly v Richie Rich: Getting cute with the jobber names this week, I see. Kinda funny that they changed it from Thurman 'Sparky' Plugg to his real name, with zero explanation. I mean, it's not like when a wrestler shows up with a new gimmick - he's still a racecar driver, but now, suddenly, he has a different name. Sometimes you gotta wonder what in the hell they were even thinking during this period. I personally like to think they just forgot, and then didn't want to admit the mistake. Anyway, Holly makes it quick with a dropkick and a flying bodypress to send Rich back to the comforts of his secret underground vault at 1:51. DUD

Yokozuna v Phil Apollo: Gotta wonder if they drew straws in the back each week to see which jobber would have to face Yokozuna? Not that he had a reputation for being sloppy in the ring, but asking a six hundred pound guy to jump on your head sounds like a recipe for disaster. And speaking of which, Apollo takes the Banzi Drop at 2:30. Poor Yoko was going nowhere at this point, but he still somehow ended up a tag champion the next year. DUD

BUExperience: Yep, as predicted, this sucked, as the episode was taped over a month before airing (and weeks before SummerSlam), so it was an endless parade of squashes. The Backlund segment was masterful, however, and well worth firing up this episode to see