Friday, February 7, 2014

HITMAN383 Rant for WWF In Your House: Buried Alive (October 1996)



- Okay, another CRAPPY WWF PPV from 1996, this time October's IYH, Buried Alive. (This one was originally written in 2000)


- Live from Indianapolis, Indiana

- Your Hosts are Jim Ross, The King, and Vince McMahon. JR's mic. doesn't work, and he smells conspiracy, because this was during his "feud" with Vince.

- Opening Match: Triple H vs. Steve Austin: Currently, this would be the main event (14 years later, and this could still be the main event), here it's nothing but an opening match. The WWF champ, in the opener, with STEVE AUSTIN? How times change. Hunter has zero heat, and Austin has VERY little. Which, again, is odd to see. Long stall fest, and the top of this building is a bit empty. These two dumb ass fans in the front row keep pissing the wrestlers off. Something they would do ALL NIGHT. Hunter is subbing for Savio Vega, and it appears they seem lost, as they wrestle VERY slowly. G-D this is boring. No one really gets the advantage for more then 5 seconds, because they basically trade nothing moves. Eventually, Steve gets pissed, and just starts beating the hell out of him, then locks on a boring arm bar. Austin keeps working the arm, after a few power moves, and the crowd is DEAD. Hunter comes back with punches, and Austin returns the favor. Triple H with a big backdrop, to put in the first GOOD move of the match. Hunter uses the knee for a 2 count, and goes to more wrestling. Austin draws the only pops of the match, BTW. Stun Gun hits, and then he hits an elbow from the 2nd rope for a few 2 counts. MORE knee from HHH, one in the jaw, and then one from the 2nd rope. Double KO spot, and then Mr. Perfect wonders out, drawing the only big pop in the match, and wakes the crowd up. He and Hunter had the issue. He steels his woman, and then gets in Austin's face, which gets him in trouble. In the ring, Triple H works on Austin, while Perfect takes his woman. he has the pedigree, but goes after Hennig instead, allowing Austin to kick his ass from behind. Slingshot to the post knocks him out, and Austin moves in for the kill. Stunner gets 3, and a big pop. He won them over during the match. Heated up near the end, but still sucked. 1/4 *. (This was such a weird period for Austin, as he’d won King of the Ring, challenged Bret Hart… and then went out and curtain jerked every night until Survivor Series)

- WWF Tag Team Titles: The British Bulldog and Owen Hart vs. The Smoking Gunns: Crowd pretty dead here. Note to self: Never hold a PPV in the Market Square Arena. Owen starts with Billy, and they trade mat wrestling to bore everyone. Lots of stalling. Owen tries to carry this, and can't, but tags Bulldog, and some double teaming gets it moving a bit. Davey controls with nothing of note. Bart in, and Bulldog headlocks him for a while, and they do some criss crosses, ending with Bart slamming him. Bart misses a crossbody from the top, and Davey controls. Owen tagged, and a missile drop-kick him. Gets 2. Owen is carrying this whole match. Chinlock by Owen takes forever. Miscommunication spot by the faces allow Owen a two count. Cheating by the FACES gets them control. Double Russian Leg Sweep gets two for the Gunn's. I'll never know how this teams (Gunns) won all those Tag Titles. (Well, because the division was horrible in the mid-90s. They were a solid choice, but certainly not a team you could compare to The British Bulldogs or Demolition)  Bart with a big swinging neckbreaker for 2. They use Edge/Christians "steeping stone" spot, which wakes the crowd up. Sidewinder set up, but Bulldog pulls Bart away. Spin kick by Owen to pin Billy. DUD. Just terrible.

- Ross leaves because his mic. doesn't work, then goes in the ring, and shoots on Vince. He's pissed because "Vince's butt kissers turned my mic. off." Hell Yeah! He announces Bret Hart will be on RAW tomorrow.

- Mr. Perfect comes out, and does commentary. He hypes RAW, which is a HUGE theme tonight. WCW was killing them around this point.

- WWF IC Title: Marc Mero vs. Goldust: Sable is with Mero, and isn't AT ALL like what she looks like now. Oh look at the fire works for Mero.... yep, that'll get him WAY over, Vince. Slow start, as Mero controls. Oddly, Mero is wrestling the guy who is playing it gay, after his WCW stint, it's weird to see. Match picks up, and Marc uses his speed, and LOTS of arm drags too. Perfect was "with" Mero at this point (Not Lenny and Lodi style. This isn’t WCW), helping him win the IC title, and I think he turns on him the next night. Mero on offense is actually pretty good, lots of high flying stuff, including a sort-of senton bomb. Goldust turns the tide with a slam from the top, and beats the hell out of him. Chinlock up Goldust ruins the flow of the match. Mero comes back, and a long criss cross hits a flying body block. Crowd gets behind Mero, but Goldust kills it with a clothesline. He grabs a mic. and insults the crowd getting HUGE heat for it. Side suplex by Mero to a pop, and a big moonsault. Crowd is REALLY into Mero. (Well, I guess those fireworks were working just fine, then)  Curtain Call set up, but Mero flips out, and rolls him up for 2. Goldust backdrops him to the floor, and Perfect helps him up. Hunter comes out to threaten him, and then leaves, and Hennig follows. Back in the ring, a Samoan Drop by Mero, followed by the wild thing for 3. HUGE pop. *** 1/4.

- WWF Title shot at Survivor Series: Sid vs. Vader: Sid gets a big pop. Odd, Sid always gets big pops before a world title reign (here, and in WCW) but once he gets the belt, it seems to die off, and sink a company. Just saying. Shawn Michaels (who was the WWF champion at that point) comes out to do commentary, and gets a pretty good pop. Shawn was really cool around this time, and I was *WAY* into him. Sid controls early on, and is pretty good at it, entertaining the crowd. Vader comes back and works STIFF in the corner. Sid gets tossed on the floor, allowing Cornette to work the Smokey Mountain Magic. Sid comes back really stiff, and does a SUNSET FLIP (!!!), but Vader sits down on him. Vader LOVES forearm shots, doesn't he? Had this been the Main Event of Starrcade 1993, it would have been allright. Sid goes to the TOP ROPE (!!!) and goes for a cross body, but gets caught and slammed. Big splash would be 3, but he pulls him up at 2. He goes up for the Vader Bomb, and hits knees. Sid comes back, and SLAMS (!) Vader. Powerbomb set up, but a low blow breaks for Vader. Crowd LOVES Sid, BTW. Vader tries a Powerbomb, but can't do it. Quick chokeslam by Sid gets 3. Whoa, match is good. ***. Sid and Shawn face off, because they have to fight at Survivor Series. (Okay, I used to overrate things, but seriously, THE FUCK?! ***?!? Was I on crack in 2000?!)

- Dok tries to interview Sid, but JR comes in, and does a REAL interview asking the tough questions. Funny, as Dok is insulted, because HE SUCKS!

- Buried Alive Match: The Undertaker vs. Mankind: GREAT video package leading to this match. Slugfest to start, which Undertaker wins. Foley comes back, and hammers him. Did Mick really pull out all that hair? Mick takes a huge bump, head first, to the railing, then UT hits a clothesline from the top to the floor. They brawl to the grave site, where Mankind controls on top on the dirt mound, and UT SMALL PACKAGES him, and they roll down the hill that way. They fight back to ringside, and Mick eats stairs. In the ring they go, and that doesn't last, as UT knocks him to the floor. Foley takes a huge bump to the railing, from the crowd, then UT hits a flying clothesline over the railing. Cool. Mick crotches UT on the top rope, and beats on him for a while. Mick then pulls out a nail, and goes to work on the head. UT gets it after a while, and uses it on *him.* UT loves to do that flying clothesline spot, eh? Super high leg drop by 'Taker, and he goes after Paul to a big pop. Foley finds a chair, and clobbers him. Mankind then LICKS THE CHAIR. Okay, that was weird. Mick controls on the floor, and pulls UT to the grave, and puts him in, giving everyone a heart attack. UT comes back, and hammers him in the grave. Dirt to the face turns the tide, but UT him tosses him down the dirt. Ouch. Back in the ring, and Mick cheats to win, and hits a big piledriver. I always liked Mankind's piledriver. UT puts Mick's face under the chair, and drops a leg. Vicious spot. Mick is SKINNY here, BTW. (Yeah, compared to later he was practically a crusierweight)  Mankind then tries the garentueed-to-never-eeever-work spot (Jericho reference!) of piledriving someone on the exposed floor. UT escapes, that and drops him VICIOUSLY to the steps. He tosses them in, and nearly kills him with the stairs. Tombstone sends the crowd into a giant frenzy. He carries him to the grave, but Foley hooks on the Mandible Claw, and he's got the urn. It backfires, and UT chokeslams him in. He covers him with dirt, and we're done. Whoa. *** 1/4. He then continues pileing on the dirt, trying to kill Mankind, but the Executioner comes out, and nails him with a shovel, HARD. He digs Mankind out, and they (along with some other heels) proceed to bury the Undertaker, ALL THE WAY under. That takes about 10 minutes too. To this day I don't know how they did it without him, you know, dying. Anyone know? Anyway, after all the burying is done, a lightning bolt strikes the grave, and UT's hand comes up, to a big pop. Anyone know how it was done?

- Bottom Line: Well, it's definitely not a BAD show, as the last 3 matches save it. The first two SUCKED, but the last 3 are all at *** or more. 3 out of 5 is pretty good for a two hour show, and even though the wrestling is okay, the show didn't FEEL like a good show.

So we'll go, Mildly Recommended.

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