HITMAN383 Rant for WWF Survivor Series 1995

- The HITMAN383 Rant for WWF Survivor Series 1995. This is the next in the “lucky seven” set (That was a reference to seven tapes I’d been hunting for ages, which I found at a random video store during a gas stop on a road trip. I both miss and don’t miss those days. That also places this in late 2001), and is a show I’ve never personally seen before, so I’m definitely game to review it.

- BTW, I use this system:
***** - Excellent,
**** - Great,
*** - Good,
**- Okay,
* - Decent,
DUD – Nothing Match.

- Live from Landover, Maryland (USAir arena drawing 14,500 people, and a .57 buyrate).

- Your Hosts are Vince McMahon, Jim Ross, and Mr. Perfect, who is making his WWF return.

- Opening Survivor Series Elimination Match: Marty Jannetty, Hakushi, Bob Holly, and Barry Horowitz vs. Skip, Rad Radford, Tom Pritchard, and The 123 Kid: Kid is replacing Jean Pierre Lafitte, for whatever reason. He’s also fresh on a heel turn, and must have stolen Razor Ramon’s stash, because he runs out to go after the Kid before the match even starts. Anyway, Marty and Dr. Tom start, and Marty cleans up on the entire heel side. They re-group on the outside, and now Radford is in. They trade armbars for a minute, but Holly tags in, and we get a nice criss cross, ending in a Holly powerbomb. Slam, and Holly goes to the arm for a bit. Hakushi gets in, but quickly gets caught by a spinebuster. Tag to the Kid, and he gets a BIG heel reaction from the crowd. Flying splash gets two, and Skip tags in. Side superplex, but Hakushi rolls over for a two count, and tags Holly. Cross cross ends with Bob hitting a great backdrop, but he gets nailed shortly thereafter. Pritchard tags in to hit a gutwrench powerbomb for two, and a slam. Upstairs, but a moonsault misses, and Holly goes up. Flying bodypress, and Tom is out at 5:38. Skip is right in, however, and rolls up Holly to even the score at 5:44. Hakushi gets in, and sweeps Skip’s legs out, then goes to work with the kicks. Vaderbomb hits the knees, however, so Skip hits a top-rope rana. Since this is still 1995, however, it knocks Skip out, too. Tag to Kid, who stops a tag over on the face side with some kicks. Hakushi responds in kind, however, and hits the handspring elbow. Diving clothesline, and a flying shoulderblock gets two. Springboard flying splash misses, however, and Radford tags in. He gets Hakushi’s attention, and Kid superkicks him in the back of the head to allow Rad to get the pin at 8:31, probably as a favor to The Clique. Horowitz is in, but gets beat up right away, drawing a “Barry” chant. Kid’s in to thrash him a bit, and hits a suplex for two. Radford’s in again, and a gutwrench suplex gets two. Looks like these guys are just ignoring Candido at this point, as I get “shit story” flashbacks. (Considering all the shit stories I’ve had to endure over the years since via various shoot interviews, that one was actually somewhat tame) Radford with the Hennig-neck snap (as a nod to him?) for two, and a Northern lights suplex gets two. Radford pauses to do pushups (he was training to be a Bodydonna, or something), and Barry cradles him for the pin at 11:46. Skip comes in, and goes nose to nose with Horowitz. Diving back elbow by Horowitz, and a running knee. Heel double team puts him down, however, and Kid drops a leg to eliminate him at 12:46. Marty’s the only one left, and goes with Skip, only to get kicked in the balls. Powerbomb, but Marty rolls over into a sunset flip for two. Rocker dropper, and he goes upstairs. Sunny shakes the ropes, however, and Skip follows him up. Marty catches him, however, and powerbombs him off to a huge pop! Needless to say, Skip is done at 15:22. Kid flies in with a clothesline to stop this, and hits a spinkick. Up top, a flying legdrop gets two. Cornered dropkick solidly hits, and Kid slams him. Upstairs again, a somersault legdrop misses. Man, remember when Sean could WORK like a motha? Slugfest won by Jannetty, and he hits a dropkick for two. Cue Sid, however, to stand next to Ted DiBiase at ringside as “insurance.” Marty gets visibly distracted, but still hits a faceslam, as the crowd chants for Razor. Rocker dropper gets two, so Sid gets a cheepshot in, and Kid gets the very easy pin at 19:04, to become the sole survivor. The match was absolutely awesome, filled with all the great workers doing their thing, and given the time to do it. Only a short portion in the middle between Horowitz and Radford dragged a little, but the rest was absolutely NON-STOP, and without ANY restholds. *** ¾.

- Backstage, Razor breaks a T.V. monitor in anger, presumably because he thinks Kid and Sid live INSIDE of it, and wants his revenge.

- Survivor Series Elimination Match: Alundra Blayze, Kyoko Inoue, Sakie Hasegawa, and Chaparita Asari vs. Bertha Faye, Aja Kong, Lioness Aska, and Tomoko Watanabe: This was during the brief fetish both promotions had for these exotic Japanese women’s matches, as exhibited here, and at WCW’s November 1995 PPV, World War 3. I, however, don’t give a shit. And, on top of that, I don’t know who the fuck these girls are, and can’t exactly tell them apart. Anyway, the giant swing comes about very early on Asari by Aska, so Alundra tags in to take control, and quickly eliminate Aska with a German suplex at 1:42. Watanabe gets in, but misses a moonsault, and Blayze tags Sakie, who hits a terrific rolling butterfly suplex. Watanabe with an awesome butt splash for two, and Kong tags in. Sakie hits a series of big, neck breaking suplexes, but misses something off the top, and Aja easily T-bone suplexes her for the pin at 4:01. Asari runs right in, but a bodypress bounces off of Kong, and gets slammed. 2nd rope splash gets rid of Asari at 4:29. In comes Alundra, who hits an enzuiguri, and tags Inoue. She goes to work, and tries a sunset flip, but gets sat on (and pinned) at 5:06. I think that was actually supposed to be a kickout, since both sides argue that one, but they’re letting it go anyway. Anyway, Alundra fights off all three bitches, and hits a rolling suplex on Watanabe for two. Piledriver, and Watanabe is done at 6:34. In comes Faye, who hammers away, and makes Alundra pay. Her looks also make me want to turn gay. Anyway, the heels miscomunicate, and Blayze hits a German suplex on Bertha to eliminate her bulky ass at 7:15. Down to Kong vs. Blayze. Alundra takes the Flair flip, and ends up being superplexed for two. Alundra comes back with a rana for two, and a 2nd rope dropkick hits. Standing moonsault gets two, and she goes upstairs. Aja slams her off, however, and SHE goes up. Alundra catches her, and tries a superplex, but gets pushed off. Aja uses her gut to beat Alundra down, and a KO punch ends this at 10:05. Well, I don’t understand THAT decision. (It was supposed to set up a feud between the two, but Alundra bailed for WCW) The ending left a lot to be desired, considering some of the other spots done here, but the match certainly was another non-stop action-fest (albeit a rushed one), and one which I was actually able to follow, thanks to J.R. *** ¼.

- Todd is with “Bill Clinton” (an obvious impostor), since we’re in suburban Washington. He asks “Bill” how he feels about Bam Bam Bigelow, so “Clinton” responds that he loves him because he’s “watched him ever since he was a little boy, playin' with Pebbles.” Hey, any Clinton knocking is A-okay with me! (Eh, maybe then. In hindsight, things were pretty good during the Clinton days)

- Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Goldust: When Bam Bam’s fireworks go off, the “secret service” guys tackle “Clinton” in a really cute spot. This one comes only about a month after Goldust’s WWF debut, and no-one really knows quite what to make of the guy. He also gets a really long time for his entrance, so he can properly freak out EVERYONE in the building before the bell rings. Goldust hammers away to start, but bails out when Bam Bam tries to deck him. Inside again, Bam Bam pounds him, but runs into Goldust’s boot on a cross corner charge, and it spills outside. There, Goldust misses a punch, instead striking the post, and the Bammer rolls him in. He can’t take control, however, and Goldust clotheslines him over the top, to the floor. Back in again, Bigelow uses his head (quite literally) to take control, but Goldust sinks low (again, quite literally) to take over again. The “action” falls to the floor once again, where Bam Bam tastes the steel steps. Inside, Bam Bam with a big side suplex, but he misses a falling headbutt, getting Goldust two. Head-vice now, but Bam Bam powers out, and hits a victory bomb. He can’t capitalize, however, and they slug it out. Goldust wins that one with a jumping clothesline, and a kneedrop. That all gets two, and he goes to the headlock. Bam Bam counters with another side suplex, and a series of clotheslines. That gets two, but he misses an avalanche, and Goldust bulldogs him for the pin at 8:14. Nothing match, but it served its purpose, I guess. ¼*. (FF to 2014, and Goldust is still on the roster, and probably one of the best guys they’ve got. I went to a WWE house show the other night in Miami, and most guys absolutely did not know how to work a crowd. All the fancy spots in the world from guys like R-Truth and Bo Dallas couldn’t get the crowd into things because they still haven’t learned (and likely never will) the intricacies of crowd psychology. Everyone was pretty restless right up until mid-show when Goldust and Cody wrestled the Real Americans. Dustin went old school, and completely sold the shit out of the heat segment, to the point where people (who had been asleep up until then) were clamoring for the tag, and exploded when he finally got it. Maybe Dustin never headlined a WrestleMania, but he knows more about working a match for a non-TV crowd than someone like Cena or Orton)

- Bob Backlund insults “Clinton” back over at the box. Damn, we need Bob back in the WWF today to team up with Kurt Angle, or something. Now THAT could be interesting.

- Survivor Series Elimination Match: Jerry Lawler, Mabel, Triple H, and Isaac Yankem vs. The Undertaker, Fatu, Henry Godwinn, and Savio Vega: UT is wearing that goofy facemask, which came about after Mabel “broke his face” on an edition of RAW a while back. Triple H and Fatu start out, as the crowd sits on their hands. Fatu with a big backdrop, and a big lariat. Another backdrop, but HHH tries for the pedigree, but backs off when he sees the ‘Taker. Tag to Godwinn, which sends Hunter scurrying, and into a tag to Lawler. He thinks twice about THAT, however, and tags right out to Isaac (aka Kane). He gets beat up, too, however. Yankem comes back with a side suplex, and tags the very skinny/undefined looking Triple H. Man, it doesn’t even look like the same guy. High knee gets two, but Henry press slams him right into a tag to Jerry again. Meanwhile, J.R. wonders if Clinton may be related to Henry Godwinn. I wonder the same thing myself, sometimes. Vega gets in, and has his way with the King, then tags in Fatu to really make a difference. Jerry cheats to win, however, then tags Mabel. He misses an avalanche right away, and Vega hammers away, but gets caught in a Bossman slam. He gets his ass beat in the heel corner, and Mabel hits a good looking overhead suplex. The dentist catches him with a nice dropkick, and HHH hits a kneedrop. Jerry’s back in for a piledriver, and he PLANTS Vega. It only gets two, however, and Vega comes back with a URINE-AGE! Another piledriver by Lawler, however, but Savio pops up, and gets UT the hot tag. Jerry, of course, RUNS to his corner for a tag, but no one will tag out. UT kills him, of course, and the tombstone puts him out at 12:18. Expect lightning fast eliminations now, considering how long it’s taken to get the first, and whose involved. Yankem runs in to avenge him, and we get Undertaker vs. Kane three years early. Tombstone, and Isaac’s done at 12:48. Hunter’s next on the job-line, but he bails out instead of just going right on in. Godwinn threatens him back, however, and UT chokeslams him out of the match at 13:33. Hey, I’ve never even SEEN this show before, and I called that shit a mile away. Mabel’s all alone now, but he manages a belly-to-belly on the dead man. Big legdrop hits, but this time UT sits up. Mabel freaks, and bails, getting counted out at 14:23, leaving the entire face team as the Survivors. Okay match, but not on par with the previous elimination matches. ** ¼. (That’s a crazy generous rating)

- Wild Card Survivor Series Elimination Match: Shawn Michaels, Davey Boy Smith, Sid, and Ahmed Johnson vs. Yokozuna, Owen Hart, Razor Ramon, and Dean Douglas: This is Ahmed’s debut, BTW. The concept here is that you have faces and heels on the same side, and some weird combos can go down. I actually liked this idea, and I’m sorry they haven’t followed up on it in future Survivor Series’. (…and still haven’t) It’s also REALLY weird to see Shane Douglas and Scott Hall on the same team, but whatever. (Sort of the whole point! Also weird seeing Douglas back in the WWE as a talking head on DVD releases these days. Ditto for Warrior and Bruno. Too bad it never worked out with Savage) Shawn and Owen start off, which is a good decision, believe me. Big criss cross to start, and Owen tries to dump Shawn, but he skins the cat back in, grabs Owen with his legs, and flips him out. Back in, Hart powerslams him. Tag to Dean, who punches away on HBK. Hanging vertical suplex hits, but Shawn comes back with a diving clothesline. Man, Hennig has been ALL OVER Shawn during this whole match. Do the two of them have an issue I should know about in real life? Anyway, Douglas misses a Vaderbomb, and Shawn hits a big moonsault for two. Tag to Ahmed, who cleans house on everyone, but gets stopped when he tries to slam Yokozuna. Dean goes to the eyes to keep the big Johnson down, but gets powerslammed. Tag back to Shawn, and Ahmed press slams him INTO Dean for two. Superkick misses, however, and Douglas bails out. Dean gets into an argument with Razor, however, and Ramon outright decks him, allowing Shawn to roll him up for the pin at 7:29. Owen runs in, but gets taken down, and Shawn quickly tags Smith. They’re tentative to start, so Davey offers a handshake, and (of course), both men attack during it. Classic heels meet, I guess. Big criss cross, and Owen hits a spinkick for two, and Shawn tags in. Razor does, as well, as I wish they had a ladder in the vicinity. Criss cross allows Michaels to dump him, but Ramon runs right back in, only to eat an elbow. Shawn with a diving clothesline, but he gets caught in the Edge! It only gets two, however, as Ahmed makes the save. Criss cross again, and both men bump heads to knock-out both. Shawn gets up first, and tags in Sid. Well, good choice, certainly, to put Ramon away. He beats the hell out of Da Bad Guy for a long while, as the match hits a drag. Double clothesline gives us another knock-out spot, but Sid’s up first, and goes upstairs (?!?), only to get slammed off for two. I guess Sid always dreamed to be Ric Flair, or something. Sid chokeslams him to comeback, and tags Shawn in again. We do the “I hold, you superkick” spot, but just like with Diesel in 1994, Razor moves, and Shawn clocks Sid. Shawn seems, um, less than appalled at his mistake, however, and Ramon gets the easy pin at 16:16. (Brilliant facial expression from Michaels there) Davey runs in to kick the shit out of Ramon, but Sid is a little pissed at Shawn, and powerbombs him on his way out. Looks like we’ve got Shawn vs. Razor now, but Shawn is OUT. Razor crawls over for the one arm cover, but it only gets two, and Owen tags in. He attacks like a shark that smells blood, and hits a backbreaker. Backdrop, and the tag to Yokozuna. Shawn takes the Flair flip almost immediately, and Yoko goes to the nerve hold. Dude, you just spent the last ten minutes on the apron, doing NOTHING, and the minute you get in, you go to the nerve hold. Owen’s RIGHT THERE, dude. How the FUCK did you ever get to be WWF champion for a whole YEAR? Finally, he gets the sense to tag Owen, and he hits an overhead suplex. Up top, but a nice flying headbutt misses. Even Benoit would be proud of that one. Hot tag to Ahmed, and he cleans house again, and Plunge’s Owen (like a tiger driver) for the pin at 21:46. In comes Razor, but Ahmed loses his position for the 2nd rope bulldog spot, and Razor is forced to jump down, follow him, and do a regular version. Dumb ass Johnson. Spinebuster, but he makes the rookie mistake of showing off, and takes the Edge. Luckily for him, Bulldog is there to make the save. He kicks the shit out of Ramon, as Sid and the 123 Kid make their return. Meanwhile, Ramon hits a blockbuster slam for two, but gets distracted by the heels, allowing Bulldog to hit the running powerslam, and pin him, at 24:05. Tag to Shawn, who goes with Yoko, but gets dropped with a punch. Yoko must be from Syracuse. Big legdrop, and it’s Banzai time! It misses, however, and he tags Ahmed. Slam works this time, and he covers, but Bulldog breaks it up at two. Michaels and Ahmed kick his ass, of course, and Yoko eats superkick. Splash by Ahmed, and it’s over at 27:21, making Michaels, Johnson and Smith the Survivors. Good match, but nothing special. ***.

- Meanwhile, “Clinton” sexually harasses Sunny, and dumps some popcorn down her top. And this is still 1995! Monica Lewinsky is still YEARS away. Funny segment, either way.

- Main Event: WWF Title Match: Diesel vs. Bret Hart: King of the Ring ’94 was indecisive. Royal Rumble ’95 was indecisive. So this time there MUST be a winner. Bret is also wearing the rarely seen all-pink outfit, ala WrestleMania VIII and IX. Knowing that there MUST be a winner this time, both men undo a turnbuckle pad before the match even GETS STARTED. Now THAT’s some badass-ness for a mid-90s WWF character. Bret’s like a rabid dog to start, diving at the champ, and going for the leg like a motha. Diesel is a load bigger, however, and drives the knees at him to stop the assault. He beats him so bad that Bret falls to the floor, and since there are no count-outs, Diesel follows. He drops Hart on the rail, and rolls him back in. Bret, knowing he has the speed advantage, bails out right away, and makes Diesel chase him. He catches him, however, and chokes the shit out of the Hitman on the outside. In, we have a slugfest, easily won by the champion. It spills out AGAIN, where Big Daddy Cool feeds the Hitman the steel steps, and then the steel post. Hey, no DQs. He grabs a chair, and Bret gets whacked with it, sort of as revenge for the Royal Rumble. Bret takes his cross corner bump, and a short clothesline gives Diesel a serious advantage. He calls for the powerbomb, but Bret has learned to block it, and Diesel can’t hit it. Bret hammers away, drawing a great face reaction, and he slaps on a sleeper. He gives up on that one pretty quickly, however, and he kicks at the leg. I’d say that would be the way to go. Bret works the part, and gets the figure four on. Diesel makes the ropes, but Bret refuses to break right away, since he can’t be disqualified. Sharpshooter, but Diesel rakes the eyes to stop the hold from being applied. He goes for it again, but Diesel kicks him off, and right into the exposed turnbuckle. He abuses him in the corner, but Bret grabs the leg, and rams the knee into the post a couple times. He snags the mic cable now, and ties one of Diesel’s feet to the post. Bret comes off of the 2nd rope with a forearm, putting Diesel out, and he grabs a chair of his own. He whacks him with it, and works the knee with it, actually drawing a FACE reaction, when he is pretty clearly playing the heel here. I guess fans were just SICK of Diesel at this point. He takes the chair up top with him, but Diesel manages to nail him, and slam him off of there. Diesel finally manages to untie himself, and uses that same chord to choke the Hitman with. Sidewalk slam gets him two, and Bret takes his sternum first bump into the exposed corner. Diesel hits the Nash-rope-choke spot, but has the sense not to RUN before he does it, after all the knee work. Snake eyes, and again, Diesel HOBBLES to the corner to execute the move. This may be Nash’s best sell job, ever. Well, outside of convincing promoters that he’d make a good world champion. That one was pretty impressive. Bret lets Diesel taste the exposed steel, and hits a diving clothesline for two. 2nd rope bulldog gets two, and a Russian leg sweep gets two. Clothesline floors the champ, and he tries a slingshot dive out, but misses, in pretty glorious fashion. Nice spot there. Bret tries to climb back in, but Diesel is right there, and shoves Bret off through the Spanish announce table (as a nod to Curt Hennig, I believe), back when that sort of thing was still pretty shocking. Bret’s dead now, and all, so Diesel hobbles out to put him back inside. Powerbomb time, obviously, but Bret collapses when Diesel puts him between the legs. He tries again, but Bret sneaks a cradle in, and wins his 3rd WWF title at 24:51. Diesel’s pretty pissed, however, and officially turns heel by powerbombing the new champ twice. The next night he’d deliver the famous “I’m Back” speech on RAW, leading him to actually get over again, just the way he got over in the first place. By being a badass, who does what’s best for himself. Match was great, way above the King of the Ring one, but just a notch below the Royal Rumble one. ****.

- Bottom Line: Not a blockbuster when it came out, this low rated PPV actually delivers the goods in the ring. The opener is a great exhibition of what the elimination format should run like, the Women’s match was done well, and completely watchable by the casual fan, the Wild Card was fun, and the main event was another is their classic series. No reason not to pick this one up.

- Highly Recommended.