WWE Hell in a Cell (June 2021)

Original Airdate: June 20, 2021

 

From Tampa, Florida; Your Hosts are Jimmy Smith, Byron Saxton, and Corey Graves (RAW); Michael Cole and Pat McAfee (Smackdown)

 

Opening WWE Smackdown Women's Title Hell in a Cell Match: Bianca Belair v Bayley: Belair with a pair of bodyslams to start, and she adds a clothesline to send Bayley bailing for the outside. Is it me, or has the ringside area inside the cell gotten smaller over the years? Bayley comes back in holding a chair, but she stupidly telegraphs a charge with it, and gets cradled for two. Belair then dropkicks the chair in her face for good measure, but a superplex attempt goes south on her, and Bayley sends her into the post for two. Bayley brings the steps in, and proceeds to do nothing with them, instead giving Belair a running kneesmash for two. She ties Bianca's braid to the bottom rope, but misses another knee smash, and crashes into the steps. She bails, so Belair chucks the steps after her, but it misses. Bianca responds by using a baseball slide, and she grates her challenger's face across the mesh, so Bayley bites her to buy time. Then, a lot of nothing happens. Then, Belair reverses her into some planked kendo sticks, but an attempt to use a chair backfires, and Bayley works the arm. And braid. Belair blocks another running knee with the chair, and then uses her braid to tie herself to Bayley like it's a strap match. That's actually pretty amazing. So Belair runs wild on her, but loses control while trying to do something with a ladder. Bayley sandwiches her between the ladder for some abuse, but Belair manages a sunset cradle for two. Backslide, but Bayley blocks, so Bianca dumps her into the corner with a tiger facebuster. Belair covers her over with the ladder to set up a dive, but Bayley dodges, so Belair just hits her with a senton splash instead. Well, good. The kids need to learn about perseverance. Belair then suplexes her onto the ladder, and we're out at 19:39. Having a bunch of spots revolve around Belair's braid was interesting. The rest was not. ½*

 

Seth Rollins v Cesaro: Rollins attacks in the aisle before the bell, and they brawl a bit before heading in to officially start. Rollins tries a charge, but gets caught in a bodyslam, and they slug it out. Cesaro gets the better of it with a backdrop, and they spill back to the outside, where Cesaro uppercuts him. He adds a flying axehandle for one on the way back inside, but Seth fights back with some short-knees, only to have a vertical suplex reversed on him. Why is the referee doing the best selling of the match? To the outside, Seth dives with a high knee from the apron, and he delivers a springboard flying version for two on the way back inside. Slugfest goes Cesaro's way, allowing him to take Seth's glove from him, and stuff it down his throat. At least when Ted DiBiase did that, the guy got a hundred bucks out of the deal. Cesaro with a short-clothesline for two, and a powerslam is worth two. Neutralizer, but Seth blocks, so Cesaro goes to the top instead. He dives with a flying bodypress, but Seth rolls through for two, and adds a pele kick. Neckbreaker, but Cesaro blocks, so Rollins punches him in the back of the head for two instead. Rollins tries a submission, but Cesaro escapes, so Seth uses a falcon arrow for two instead. Leg-feed spinheel kick gets two, but Cesaro dodges the curb stomp, and fires off a discus clothesline. Giant swing leads to the sharpshooter, but Seth inches for the ropes, so Cesaro switches to a crippler crossface instead. Rollins counters with a cradle for two, so Cesaro goes back to the sharpshooter. Seth reaches for the ropes again, so Cesaro lets off to stomp the crap out of his arm, but Rollins manages to hook a cradle at 16:15. The WrestleMania match was much better. * ½

 

Shayna Baszler v Alexa Bliss: Alexa shoots her a death glare at the bell, which stops Baszler in her tracks. Reginald yells a distraction to break her gaze, allowing Baszler to unload in the corner, but Alexa no-sells. Well, maybe if she wasn't working looser than an old shoe, we might actually find that impressive. Bliss pounds her down and uses a somersault senton splash for two, so Reginald tries another distraction, allowing Baszler to attack from behind. Baszler with a suplex for two, so she tries for a submission by cranking on the arm, and Alexa literally looks like a little girl in there with Baszler, and it's creepy. Baszler stomps the arm, but Bliss laughs it off, taking pleasure in the pain. Bliss then gives her another death glare, and Baszler's faith is shaken. That allows Alexa to make a comeback, and a sloppy DDT gets two. Maybe it was more magic that caused the pain there, because her head came nowhere near the mat. Dropkick knocks Baszler to the outside, so Bliss hypnotizes Nia Jax, causing her to slap Reginald. Fucking imperius curse strikes again. Back in, Twisted Bliss polishes Baszler off at 6:55. Well, this was certainly... something. I don't mind all the supernatural stuff because we're so far beyond kayfabe at this point that who cares, but at least make it entertaining supernatural stuff. ¼*

 

Kevin Owens v Sami Zayn: Slugfest right at the bell, won by Owens. Zayn tries to bail, but Kevin keeps him inside for more abuse, and the cannonball gets him two. Zayn manages to dump him to the outside for a somersault suicida, hurting Kevin's wrist. Kevin sells that for a while, but Sami blasts him with a big boot while the official is checking him. They spill back to the outside, where Owens throws a clothesline, but a somersault senton splash from the apron hits Zayn's knees. Back in, Sami delivers a Blue Thunder Bomb for two, but Owens shakes off some forearm shots. He fires off a series of chops, but Sami counters a stunner with a suplex for two. Owens bails, so Zayn chases, but eats a stunner for his troubles. Zayn beats the count, triggering another slugfest, won by Owens. Sami goes after the arm to buy time, and he manages to capitalize with the Helluva Kick at 12:39. Great selling from Owens throughout, but this was another one that was better at WrestleMania. *

 

WWE RAW Women's Title Match: Rhea Ripley v Charlotte Flair: Flair chucks the title belt at her during the introductions, stunning Ripley, and allowing the challenger a schoolgirl for two. Ripley wisely bails to the outside to regroup, and we have a slugfest on the way back in, won by the champion. Ripley with a big boot, and she goes to the top, but Flair knocks her off, and works a chinlock. Ripley escapes, so Flair clotheslines her over the top, and follows with a big boot on the floor. Inside, that gets Flair two, so she starts putting the boots to the champion - though a few of them miss by a country mile. Flair works the leg, but ends up hurting her own, and Ripley uses a series of short-clotheslines. Superkick knocks Charlotte to the apron, so Ripley tries a big boot there, but Flair grabs onto the leg with a grapevine through the ropes. Ripley shakes her off and uses a baseball slide, but her leg is damaged, and she's moving more slowly now. She still manages a missile dropkick for two on the way back in, and she tries the standing figure four, but Flair escapes, and hits the Natural Selection for two. Bodyslam, but Ripley blocks. Big boot, but Ripley dodges, and she manages a German suplex on her challenger, but the bad leg prevents a follow up. That allows Flair to come back with a backbreaker, and a standing moonsault gets her two. It was actually a bit where she tries a flying moonsault, misses, and then turns it into a standing version instead. Which is pretty cool as a one off, though I hope it doesn't turn into a regular spot that becomes a cliché, like Undertaker always setting up the Last Ride by having someone try a ten-punch in the corner. Figure four, but Ripley counters with a cradle for two, so Flair fires off a big boot for two. Back to the figure four, but Ripley shoves her to the apron to block, so Flair tries going to the top, but gets superplexed off for two. You can't fight genetics, after all. Both women stagger up to slug it out, won by Flair with chops, but she misses a corner charge. That allows Ripley the Riptide, but Flair is in the ropes at two. She bails to avoid another pin attempt, so Rhea chases, but Flair swipes at the bad leg to shake her off. She adds a dropkick against the steps to really fuck up the leg, and for some reason Ripley is in a hurry to beat the count in. Even the announcers are wondering what the fuck. And, indeed, it goes badly, as Flair puts her in the figure four. Ripley manages a reversal into the ropes, but Flair won't let off, and they spill to the outside. Charlotte goes to drag her back in, but Ripley uses a piece of the announce table to block, and that's a DQ at 14:10. Wait, really? Every match for the last twenty five years has featured a table spot without consequence, but now it's suddenly an immediate DQ, without so much as a warning first? And it's not even like they were breaking the rules throughout and the referee finally had it, it was just standard stuff throughout. I liked this better than anything else on the show thus far, but that was a remarkably dumb finish, even for this promotion in 2021. ** ½

 

Main Event: WWE Title Hell in a Cell Match: Bobby Lashley v Drew McIntyre: Drew beats him up on the outside to start, using the cage early. Inside, Drew uses a big boot, and an overhead suplex. Lashley bails, so Drew follows to beat him with a kendo stick, but Bobby gets hold of MVP's cane, and turns the tide. Lashley with a whip into the cage, but Drew rebounds with a clothesline, and honestly, are we really supposed to buy this cell as such a demonic chamber of torture when guys can literally bounce off of it like it's a bouncy house? At least the blue bar cage looked like it hurt. Inside, Drew uses his inverted whiplash onto a chair for two, but a flying chair shot misses, and Lashley grabs the full-nelson. Drew shakes him off, however, and a spinebuster gets the challenger two. Sitout powerbomb is worth two, so Drew grabs the steps to knock him out, but Lashley fights that off. Bobby makes a comeback on the outside, and beats the piss out of him with the kendo, but it just fires Drew up. Drew gets control, but now the referee is down, and there's no one to count the pin for him. That allows Lashley to recover, but Drew fights off the full-nelson, and suplexes him. Claymore Kick connects, and another referee slides in to count, but since the door is open, so does MVP. He breaks up the count, so Drew kicks the shit out of him too, as we have to pretend that MVP is just some helpless manager, instead of a decorated wrestler himself. Lashley recovers and puts Drew in the full-nelson, but the challenger manages to fall back through a table to escape. Drew unloads with a chair, but another Claymore misses, and Lashley chokeslams him through another table. Spear, but Drew dodges, and he hooks a backslide for two. Headbutt rattles Lashley, and the Future Shock DDT connects. You'd think, after over ten years of doing that move, it would look better than the Alexa Bliss version, but no. Claymore, but MVP hooks his ankle to block, and Lashley schoolboys at 25:42. You know, not EVERY main event match needs to get twenty five minutes. *

 

BUExperience: Well, let's just say that my love/hate relationship with modern WWE remains firmly in 'hate' territory.

 

DUD