WWE Tables, Ladders & Chairs (December 2009)

Original Airdate: December 13, 2009

 

From San Antonio, Texas; Your Hosts are Michael Cole, Matt Striker, and Jerry Lawler

 

Opening ECW Title Ladder Match: Christian v Shelton Benjamin: Criss cross goes Christian's way with a dropkick early on, as the announcers talk about how these two want to 'steal the show together.' Ugh. So this is around when the promotion started jumping the shark. To the outside to fight for the ladder, and Christian gets whipped into the barricade, as the announcers continue to say stupid shit. Like, the ladder is 'symbolic,' but what it's symbolic of 'remains to be seen.' What the is that even supposed to mean? They get the ladder inside and fight over some climb attempts, and Christian gets busted open, so we have to stop the match for the EMTs to attend to him. Yep, shark jumped. This is where all the most annoying things about the promotion officially came into play. Once that's done, Shelton dives off a ladder with a somersault senton on the floor, and he tries setting up a ladder plank between the apron and announce table, but Christian cuts him off before he can use it. Luckily, said 'cut' is not an actual cut, so we don't have to stop the match dead for EMTs to come out again. Back in, Shelton tries a charge, but hits ladder. That allows Christian to climb, but Shelton pulls him down, and hits a spinheel kick. Benjamin beats on him with the ladder, and he climbs, but Christian follows, bringing his challenger down with an inverted DDT. Christian climbs, but Shelton is prepping a dive to stop him, so Christian hops down to deal with him. That ends in Shelton stealing the ladder, so Christian tries tipping it over, but Benjamin keeps balanced, and rides the ladder down onto the champion. That was a nice sequence. Christian ends up down on the outside, allowing Shelton to climb, but Christian hustles in to fight atop the ladder. That backfires when Benjamin front-powerslams him off the ladder, and Shelton adds a corner splash against the ladder. Benjamin climbs, but Christian pulls the ladder away, and the challenger is left hanging from the title belt. Christian positions another ladder and knocks Shelton off, but his own climb attempt ends in Benjamin removing the ladder. Shelton capitalizes with a bucklebomb into a corner leaning ladder, but Christian's selling game is for shit tonight, and he keeps making crazy quick recoveries. I'm guessing that they needed to make up for lost time that they spent with the EMT, but it's still annoying. They end up fighting out to the apron, when Christian knocks him onto the planked ladder from earlier, and the champ drives him through it with a flying splash! That allows Christian to go head in, and he grabs the title at 18:06. This started off feeling like little more than a collection of ladder spots, but it turned into a coherent story by the second half. **

 

WWE Intercontinental Title Match: John Morrison v Drew McIntyre: Drew dominates in the early going, keeping Morrison grounded, but John wins a criss cross, and starts sticking and moving. Rana sets up a kick to the back to the head for two, and Drew wisely bails. Morrison is on his tail, but Drew alley-oops him into the post out there, and he hooks the leg for two on the way back inside. Short-clothesline gets the challenger two, and a suplex is worth two. Drew takes it back to the mat with an armbar, but Morrison fights to a vertical base, and fights off a tilt-a-whirl attempt with a DDT for two. John makes a comeback, landing a missile dropkick for two, but getting into trouble in the corner when Drew busts out the inverted whiplash for two. They spill to the outside, where Morrison manages a drop-toehold into the rail, and he springboards off of the apron with a kick. Back in, Morrison delivers Starship Pain for two, though no wonder, the only thing that actually 'hit' Drew was John's hair. Morrison puts the boots to him, but Drew quickly comes back with a double-arm DDT to win the title at 10:20. This was really sleepy, but generally solid. *

 

WWE Women's Title Match: Michelle McCool v Mickie James: Why is James dressed like she's going out to the club right after this? McCool stalls after the bell, and a fierce battle over a collar-and-elbow ends in both spilling to the outside. Back in, Mickie hooks a somersault cradle for two, and a bridging rollup is worth two. Crucifix, but McCool dumps her into the corner to block, and she drops a knee for two. Snapmare allows McCool a pair of knees to the shoulder blades for two, and she grounds her challenger in a reverse chinlock. Backbreaker gets two, so Mickie flashes off a cradle for two, but McCool dumps her to the outside to cut the momentum. McCool chucks her into the barricade out there, but the referee busts Layla trying to cheat, and Mickie is able to come back with a Thesz-press on the floor. James with another one on the way back inside, and a dropkick gets her two. James goes upstairs, so Layla shoves her off, but the distraction backfires when McCool ends up charging right into her. That allows Mickie a rollup for two, but then McCool just kicks her in the face to retain at 7:31. The crowd was totally dead outside of the finishing sequence here. ½*

 

WWE Title Tables Match: John Cena v Sheamus: Cena blitzes him at the bell, but hits an elbow while charging into the corner, and Sheamus clotheslines him down. Sheamus with a vertical suplex to set up mounted punches, and he goes to the outside to get the tables, and it's nice to see a white guy finally have to do that, though I think Sheamus might be a case of overcompensation. Cena attacks before he can get the table inside, however, and Sheamus eats the rail. John whips him into the steps for good measure, then sets up a table, but Sheamus attacks him before he can dive off the top rope to drive the challenger through it. Sheamus tries knocking him off the apron and through the table, but Cena manages to keep hold of the ropes long enough to block, and back in we go. John muscles him into a fireman's carry and tries dumping him over the top and through the table, but Sheamus blocks, and they spill to the outside again, where Cena tastes the steps. Well, what goes around, goes around. Sheamus tries a powerbomb through the table, but Cena slips free, and delivers a vertical suplex on the ramp. That buys John time to pick the table up to charge Sheamus with, and it's apparently the world's heaviest table, judging by the pained look on the champ's face. Sheamus dodges, so they spill into the crowd for a quick brawl, won by Cena. Sheamus buys time with a Brogue Kick, allowing him to bring a table into the ring, and he leans it up in the corner. He lifts Cena to try for a slam through it, but John counters to the STF, only for Sheamus to block. Cena regroups with a pair of shoulderblocks and a side suplex, followed by the Five Knuckle Shuffle. He goes for the Attitude Adjustment, but Sheamus manages to shove the table back to the outside before John can deliver. Cena brings the table back in and tries an AA off the middle rope through it, but Sheamus blocks. Cena regroups and tries a superplex instead, but he can't get him up and over, allowing Sheamus to shove him through the table at 16:21. This was pretty

boring, and the finish felt forced. ¾*

 

World Heavyweight Title Chairs Match: Undertaker v Batista: I get that it's a gimmick pay per view, but I've never gotten the point of a Chairs match. Tables, fine, because you're putting someone through it. Ladder, fine, because you've got to grab the belt. But with Chairs, all it does is give them one specific weapon to use, and doesn't even make the match no DQ, except for chairs. It just seems pointless. Both guys go for the chairs early, but it doesn't really go anywhere. They brawl around ringside, where Undertaker whips him into the barricade, but Batista comes back wielding a chair, and Undertaker gets smacked down. Hope the referee isn't keeping close watch, I'd hate for there to be a DQ if Batista happened to hit him with, say, a bottle of water, or some other non-approved weaponry. Undertaker fights him off and delivers the guillotine legdrop for two, but the challenger comes back trying a Batista Bomb on a chair, so Undertaker backdrops him onto it. Batista with a spinebuster for two, but a criss cross ends in Undertaker landing the jumping clothesline, and he adds a ropewalk forearm. Snake-eyes sets up the running big boot, but Batista counters with a spear for two. He adds a spinebuster on a chair, and it's Bomb time, but Undertaker counters with Hell's Gate. Batista gets into the ropes to free himself, and he pops Undertaker with a chair, but misses a corner charge. That allows Undertaker a lariat for two, and a chokeslam is worth two. Tombstone, but Batista goes low to block, and he brains the champ with a chair for the pin at 12:44. But before Batista can walk away with the belt, Teddy Long shows up, and decides to restart the match over the low blow, and Undertaker quickly Tombstones him at 0:29 (13:13 total). Felt like they were phoning it in here, and the finish was really dumb. ¾*

 

Randy Orton v Kofi Kingston: Orton dominates with a headlock to start, and he snaps off a powerslam for two when Kingston tries to get it moving. Back to the mat with a chinlock, but Kofi fights him off, and unloads in the corner. Kingston with a ten-punch and a sunset flip for two, followed by a Russian legsweep to set up the Boom Drop, but he takes too long with the theatrics, and Orton bails. Kingston follows him with a dive, but Randy manages a dropkick to knock him out of the air, and he drops Kofi across the barricade out there. Inside, Randy goes to work, but Kingston fights back with an SOS for two. Kofi clotheslines him over the top to set up a dive, and a flying bodypress gets him two on the way back in. Orton comes back with an inverted headlock backbreaker, but Kofi blocks the RKO with a dropkick, and he lands the Boom Drop this time around. Trouble in Paradise gets two, and Randy wisely bails to buy time. Kingston hurries to drag him back in, but he loses the high ground in the process, and Orton drills him with the rope-hung DDT. Punt, but Kingston blocks it... with his arm. Which means Randy still kicked him in the arm, and Kofi is all fucked up anyway. RKO, so Kingston tries another Trouble to block, but Randy ducks it this time, and the RKO finishes at 13:10. Another dull match in a series of them tonight, but at least it had a strong finish. * ¼

 

Main Event: WWE Unified Tag Team Title Tables, Ladders, and Chairs Match: Chris Jericho and Big Show v Triple H and Shawn Michaels: Show and HHH spill to the outside early, as Shawn nails Jericho with a swinging neckbreaker in the ring. They spill to the outside as well, where Jericho sends Michaels into the post, and he tries a suplex through a table, but Shawn blocks. Back in, Michaels nails Jericho with a jumping forearm, but Chris quickly sweeps him down for the Walls, only for HBK to block. Shawn with an inverted atomic drop and a bodyslam to set up a flying the flying elbowdrop, but Jericho lifts his knee to block. Jericho goes to the outside with a chair to help Show, but HHH blocks him. Hunter tries a Pedigree on the stage, but Jericho counters with a backdrop, as Shawn hustles over to join the fight at the entrance set. Show beats everyone down and takes a ladder to the ring, but the challengers catch up with them, and suplex the ladder onto Jericho. Shawn climbs as HHH holds down the defenses, but Show clobbers his way through, and cuts Michaels off. Jericho capitalizes by baseball sliding into Michaels with a ladder, and he gives Hunter a bulldog onto one. HHH fights back with a kneeling facebuster on Show, and he chucks a ladder at Jericho's head to keep him quiet. DDT on Show sets up a flying elbowdrop from Shawn, but a Superkick misses, and Chris delivers a Codebreaker. HHH responds by hitting Jericho with a spinebuster, but Show blasts him with an elbow right after, and everyone is down. Show is up first and climbs, but HHH whacks him with a chair to put a stop to it. It's more of an annoyance to Show than anything else, however, and he knocks HHH silly in a nicely timed spot. Show climbs again, so both challengers tip him off this time, and Hunter delivers a Pedigree. That allows Michaels to climb, but now Jericho tips the ladder, and Shawn takes a bump all the way to the outside on Show. Jericho climbs, but HHH powerbombs him off. HHH climbs, but Show chokeslams him off. Show decides to destroy the ladder instead of climbing, though that seems kind of pointless considering how many extras there always are. And, in fact, Jericho immediately brings a fresh ladder in. I like the idea of Show destroying the ladder if 1) it's the only one, and 2) it's setting up a spot/finish where he brings out a much smaller ladder that only he could possibly reach the belts with. The champs abuse them with the new ladder, but then Show dismantles that as well, and dumps them both to the outside for a trip through a table. Seems like a great opportunity for Jericho to climb if he had, you know, a ladder. Apparently there are only two ladders tonight, because Chris asks Show to carry him on his shoulders to try and grab the belts, but Shawn comes in with a Superkick to knock Jericho off, and down to the floor. Michaels with a second Superkick, and the challengers knock Show over the top with a piece of the broken ladder. HHH then holds the damaged half ladder steady, allowing Michaels to climb and grab the gold at 22:32. This was fine, though pretty disappointing considering the talent involved, and probably would have been better as just a straight tag match. Shawn holding Show's extended tag belt is a pretty funny image, though. **

 

BUExperience: This was a really weak card with a lot of bad finishes, and even worse, it felt like the birthplace of many of the worst aspects of the promotion for the next few years.

 

DUD