WWE Elimination Chamber (February 2010)

Original Airdate: February 21, 2010

 

From St. Louis, Missouri; Your Hosts are Michael Cole, Matt Striker, and Jerry Lawler

 

Opening WWE Title Elimination Chamber Match: Sheamus v Randy Orton v John Cena v Triple H v Kofi Kingston v Ted DiBiase: Sheamus and Kofi start, and Kingston blitzes him with kicks at the bell. Bodypress gets two, and a dropkick is worth two. The shadows cast by the chamber make the ring look like warped flooring. Kofi with a series of kicks for two, but Sheamus fights him off. The champion tries hiptossing him over the top, but Kofi rebounds with a springboard flying bodypress for two. Sunset cradle, but Sheamus blocks, and HHH is looking like a dumb hick, standing there chewing gum with his belly hanging out. And that's especially odd, since the character (and the guy playing him) is anything but a dumb hick. Sheamus with a scrap-backbreaker for two, as HHH enters the match, and now he looks like Santa. This has been a very confusing day. He slugs it out with Sheamus, and wins a criss cross with a high knee, setting up a kneedrop for two. HHH unloads in the corner, and he knocks Sheamus out onto the platform, just so he can have the pleasure of clotheslining him back into the ring. DDT gets two, but here comes Kofi with a flying clothesline at Sheamus for two. Kofi unloads on both guys, and he dumps HHH onto the platform for a slingshot Boom Drop. Sheamus clotheslines him before he can continue running wild, and the champ hooks the leg for two. Orton is next in, and he goes right for Sheamus, channeling Steve Austin in there. It's like Stone Cold by Ed Hardy. Kofi tries diving at Randy, but gets dropkicked out of the air, and covered for two. HHH recovers and attacks Orton with a kneeling facebuster, but Randy quickly fights him off with a powerslam for two, only to have Hunter block the RKO. Pedigree, but Randy backdrops him onto the platform to block, then chucks Kofi out there too, for good measure. Looking at the pile of bodies, it's obvious how little creativity was going on in costuming around this time. Two guys in the match with red gear. Three with black. All five with the same exact style. Only Cena stands out. DiBiase is next in, and he pairs up with Orton to control the ring. Orton gives HHH a rope-hung DDT on the platform, but here comes Cena, and he's running wild like Sonny Corleone's kids at a wedding! STF looks to send DiBiase home, but Orton saves, and delivers an inverted headlock backbreaker. He looks for the RKO, but Cena counters to the Attitude Adjustment. Meanwhile, Cody Rhodes shows up and passes DiBiase a pipe, and Ted turns on Randy - pinning him at 24:02! And then Ted's big moment is immediately pissed on, as Kofi kicks him in the head at 25:31. Way to make the most of his star turn. Sheamus then blasts Kingston with the Brogue Kick, and the Celtic Cross eliminates him at 26:13. He hits Cena with the scrap-backbreaker, and a front-powerslam follows for two. He puts John in a tree of woe for some abuse, and it's Cross time, but HHH blocks it by hitting Sheamus in the balls, and delivering a Pedigree at 28:37. Both remaining guys are battered, but Cena manages to strike first by putting Hunter in the STF, and that actually finishes at 30:22. Huh, wasn't expecting that to actually end things. Kind of figured we'd get some finisher trading first. I liked this, but it was far too long. This exact match with the fat trimmed off (say, ten minutes shorter) would have been excellent. ** ½

 

WWE Title Match: John Cena v Batista: Oh, but before Cena can properly celebrate his new title, Vince McMahon shows up to announce that Batista will challenge for the title right here, right now. And his ass doesn't even have a briefcase! The announcers note that this is especially unfair, since Cena just went through a 'forty five minute' match. Um, no. He's still pretty beat up either way, though, and the Batista Bomb finishes him at 0:31. DUD

 

WWE Intercontinental Title Match: Drew McIntyre v Kane: Drew tries matching Kane in a slugfest to start, but that goes badly, and the challenger uses a seated dropkick for two. He takes McIntyre down in a headlock, as the announcers talk about how 20% of all IC title holders have gone on to the Hall of Fame. I'm guessing that those averages plummeted around 1999, or so. Kane misses a corner charge, allowing McIntyre a short-clothesline, but Kane no-sells. It's really weird seeing McIntyre as a smaller guy, getting no-sold by a monster. Different times. McIntyre keeps aimlessly pounding him, and then finally starts targeting the arm to give this some direction. Kane sends him over the top to buy some time, but McIntyre returns with a single-arm DDT for two. Future Shock DDT, but Kane blocks, and he makes a comeback. Uppercut gets the challenger two, and a sidewalk slam is worth two. Kane goes up with a flying clothesline, but McIntyre blocks the chokeslam, and bails to the apron. He tries bailing on the match altogether, so Kane chases, and they brawl in the aisle. Back in, Kane goes for the chokeslam again, but McIntyre holds the ropes, and goes to the eyes. That allows him what he needs to deliver the Future Shock, and McIntyre retains at 10:09. This was really dull. ¾*

 

Michelle McCool and Layla v Maryse and Gail Kim: This is scheduled as Maryse against Kim in a tournament final to crown a new WWE Divas Champion, but Vickie Guerrero shows up to change it to this instead. Because. I hate shit like that. Layla starts with Kim, and Kim takes her down for a wristlock. Layla escapes and cradles for one, and he fires off a series of kicks, but misses a corner charge. That allows Kim a rollup for two, but a trip to the top ends badly when McCool knocks her to the floor. Back in, the heels cut the ring in half on Kim, but McCool gets fought off long enough for the tag... only for Maryse to refuse it. That allows Michelle a pancake facebuster on Gail at 3:36. This was dull, and the crowd was completely dead. ¼*

 

WWE United States Title Match: Miz v Montel Vontavious Porter: Miz is also half of the WWE Unified Tag Team champions here. Miz gets in his face at the bell, which proves to be a big mistake. Porter with a bodyslam and a kneedrop for two, and a suplex sends Miz to the outside to regroup. Porter is on his tail for a shot into the barricade, and he rolls him in to cover for two. Porter works an armbar, but Miz fights him off, and uses a gutbuster for two. Chinlock, but MVP starts to fight free, so Miz matslams him. Miz continues to work him over, and it's like watching paint dry. Porter escapes a hold with an electric chair for two, and teases a comeback, but Miz quickly cuts him off with a DDT for two. Back to Miz working him over in sleepy fashion, but a trip to the top ends in the champ getting crotched, and MVP slams him off for two. Miz is somehow busted open now, and both guys slug it out, triggering a comeback from the challenger. Ballin' elbowdrop gets two, so Miz's tag partner Big Show pulls the champ out of the ring. That draws Mark Henry over to make the save, but Show fights him off, and knocks Porter silly for Miz to pin at 13:01. Their Royal Rumble match was solid, but this one was a real bore, and felt like a total house show effort. DUD

 

Main Event: World Heavyweight Title Elimination Chamber Match: Undertaker v Chris Jericho v Rey Mysterio v CM Punk v John Morrison v R-Truth: Punk and Truth start, and they feel each other out. Punk wins a criss cross with a leg lariat, and a side suplex gets him two. Reversal sequence ends in Truth planting a superkick on him for two, and he clotheslines Punk over the top. Truth follows to send Punk into the cage with a catapult, and he dives with a flying somersault senton on the platform. Truth sends him into the cage a few more times, and he delivers a forward Russian legsweep on the way back in. Reversal sequence sees him miss a corkscrew bodypress, however, and Punk delivers the GTS at 3:34. Punk stops to cut a promo on everyone while waiting for the next entrant, until Rey joins the party. He dives in with a flying seated senton, and a bodypress gets him two. Reversal sequence allows Rey a kick to the head for two, and he sets up the 619, but Punk counters with a powerslam for two. GTS, but Rey counters with a rana into a cradle for two, so Punk bails to the platform. Rey tries diving after him, but gets caught for a few swings into the cage, and Punk covers for two on the way back in. Punk chucks him into the post for two, but Rey manages to block a superplex. He climbs to the top of a pod, but Punk recovers, and pulls him back to the top rope to try a GTS from there. Rey fights that off by crotching him on the top turnbuckle, and he uses a rana onto the platform. Punk rolls back in, and Rey quickly capitalizes with a springboard flying splash at 9:58, just in time for Jericho to buzz in. They do a reversal sequence right away, ending in Jericho hitting a clothesline for two. Chris adds a pop-up flapjack, but the Lionsault misses, and Rey capitalizes with the 619. Jericho wisely rolls to the outside to avoid getting covered, so Rey tries springboarding after him, but ends up eating cage. Jericho with a slingshot splash for two on the way back in, and the match slows down significantly as Jericho works him over. Rey comes back with a springboard moonsault press for two, and he slaps on a guillotine (mistakenly called the 'dragon sleeper' by the announcers), but Jericho escapes, and puts him in the Walls. He holds that until Morrison comes in to save, like a moron. It's elimination rules, you moron. And then the dummy dumps Jericho the platform so HE can fight it out with Rey. No wonder you never became a huge star, you dork. Morrison tries a dive, but Rey sends him into a pod to block, and then dives at Jericho. Charge ends in him getting backdropped over the top, however, as the announcers note that it's "almost like everyone in the arena knows who is coming next." Ya think?! All three guys continue trading off with little direction, as the crowd starts to lose interest. Rey goes for a rana off the top on Morrison, but John holds the ropes to block, and delivers the Starship Pain at 20:02. Morrison works Jericho over in dull fashion, but Chris fights him off with the Walls! And then Undertaker comes in, and since he's all hot and bothered, Jericho lets off the hold to block him. Jake Roberts would be rolling over in his grave watching this. I mean, if he were dead. Undertaker tries a double chokeslam, but gets countered with a tandem vertical suplex, and Morrison hooks Jericho in a magistral cradle for two. Undertaker gets fired up and beats Jericho down in a pod, but an attempt at the snake-eyes/big boot combo on Morrison gets countered with a springboard roundhouse kick. Starship Pain, but Undertaker lifts his knees to block, and beats on Morrison in slow fashion, as Jericho hides out in a pod. Undertaker tries the Last Ride on the platform, but that allows Jericho to pop out of the pod, and he clips him. All three guys stagger, but Undertaker still gets the better of it, and chokeslams Morrison on the platform, then casually pins him at 28:25. Well, that's certainly one way to make Morrison look like a jobber. Undertaker keeps it going by unloading on Jericho in the corner, but a big boot misses, and Chris superplexes him for two. Undertaker tries coming back with a chokeslam, but Chris counters to the Walls. Undertaker tries blocking with the Hell's Gate, but Jericho powers through, successfully applying the Walls. Undertaker manages to counter to Gate, but Chris manages to use the ropes to leverage an escape. Undertaker pulls him back for a Tombstone, but Chris counters with the Codebreaker for two. But then he stupidly tries a ten-punch, and you know what happens there. Tombstone time, but Shawn Michaels pops out from underneath a section of the platform, and delivers a Superkick! That allows Jericho to cover, and we have a new champion at 35:37. From a kayfabe perspective, how did guys who pulled that trick know when to come out? I wish they bothered to explain that at some point. Like, it's 2010, there was no WWE Network yet, it's not even like he could stream it on his iPhone, or whatever.  The first twelve minutes, or so, were really strong. The rest less so, and it again suffered from being too long, but it was generally fine. ** ¼

BUExperience: It's bookended by two solid matches, but the crowd being dead for all but the opener was a real drag, and it's not like anything going on between the ropes was especially strong anyway. You can safely skip this one.

DUD