WWF Superstars (January 30, 1993)

Original Airdate: January 30, 1993 (taped January 5)

 

From San Antonio, Texas; Your Hosts are Vince McMahon, Randy Savage, and Jerry Lawler

 

We open with still photos showing Bret Hart retaining the WWF Title and Yokozuna winning the Royal Rumble match last week. At least no one calls him the '505 pound sushi roll' on THIS show

 

The Headshrinkers v Reno Riggins and Bobby Perez: Afa is full on munching on a raw fish this week, in one of the nastiest things I've seen in a while. Lawler gets a jump on his summer program here, noting that he doesn't care for Bret Hart, and that he'd beat him if they were ever in the ring together. Too bad they didn't think to book the other color commentator with the Hitman instead. What a missed opportunity that was. The Headshrinkers with the flying splash at 2:09. Samu really made the easy money with that finisher, didn't he? ¼*

 

WWF Champion Bret Hart promised to be a fighting champion, and that means against anyone - Yokozuna included

 

Damien Demento v Tommy Knight: Vince wonders why Mr. Perfect didn't even respond to Bobby Heenan's unveiling of Lex Luger at the Rumble. Well, if he's anything like the rest of us, he was probably busy taking a shower after watching that segment. Vince notes that there's been a big 'influx of talent' into the WWF in 1993 thus far, though it seems more like an outflux from WCW, really. Demento with a kneedrop at 1:44. At least they've moved on to selling it as Demento using a loaded kneepad instead of just actually thinking a fucking kneedrop is a finish, though unfortunately for him, Luger would be stealing the gimmick. Poor Demento. He would have probably gotten the SummerSlam push if it wasn't for that. DUD

 

WWF Fan Club ad. There are cassette tapes!

 

Mr. Perfect v Louie Spicolli: Vince is really hyped up about Lex Luger, saying his full name (and nickname) each time, and Lex himself split screens in. I think. That close-up is so extreme that it could be anyone, really. He clarifies that Perfect has not answered his challenge yet. Well, maybe someone should go up to him and ask! He's right there! Though, that might be kind of awkward, considering this match was taped weeks before said challenge was made. So there you go, he's not a coward, he just doesn't have a time machine! Get off his ass, McFly! PerfectPlex finishes at 1:57. ¼*

 

WWF Tag Team Champions Money Inc feel 1993 is going to be a banner year for them. Well, they may not have made it to 1994, but they did headline a WrestleMania on the way, so that's something

 

Kamala is no long a slave to Kim Chee and Harvey Wippleman! He's a free man! A free man that Reverend Slick tells what to do!

 

Shawn Michaels v Gary Jackson: Shawn's WWF Intercontinental title is not on the line. Vince tries to imply that Jackson is the real boy toy, which I assume triggered a brutal lover's spat later that night. Meanwhile, Sensational Sherri split screens in to note that she will never leave Marty Jannetty's side ever again. Marty is nowhere to be seen, it should be noted. Teardrop Suplex finishes at 1:39. It's kind of weird hearing Savage stick up for Sherri, all considered. ¼*

 

Raymond Rougeau brings Jim Duggan out to talk about how he's proud of his heritage, and proud of his country. Yeah, but does he have a bus? He's all pissed that Yokozuna has the audacity... the gall... the balls... to be Japanese. And have a Japanese manager, to boot! Wait, so the entire basis for their feud is literally 'you're not from America, fuck you' ? Seriously?

 

High Energy v Brooklyn Brawler and Chuck West: Vince notes that Crush will return to action in less than two weeks. That's quite a Kent Brockman upgrade there, considering they were basically writing off his career just days before. He must be on the same recovery program as Shawn Michaels in 1997. West eats the pin at 2:28. Koko B. Ware seems to be getting stockier by the moment. It's almost unbelievable that Owen Hart would be getting a main event run a year after this. DUD

 

Back at the Royal Rumble, Giant Gonzalez showed up to attack Undertaker, and we actually get video evidence of such instead of just still photos

 

Bob Backlund v Iron Mike Sharpe: Speaking of guys who would get unlikely main event pushes in 1994. Hey, I never really realized that Gonzalez was meant as Harvey Wippleman's response to blaming Undertaker for losing control of Kamala. That's actually an interesting bit of motivation, and definitely not something I remember them mentioning much after this. Backlund split screens in to get us excited about Headlock on Hunger... by speaking about it in a slow monotone. Did Al Gore watch this guy and base his entire political persona on him? Bob with a bridging cradle at 2:36. DUD

 

Razor Ramon v Pete Christie: Ramon's gear is starting to get more colorful now, and it's a wonderful thing. Crazytights should really do a section on him. Vince wonders how this jobber would hold up in a pose down with Lex Luger, and it's too bad the WBF went belly up before they had the chance to run THAT main event. Meanwhile, some dumbass fan in the front looks ready to jump the rail to attack Ramon, which may be the only time I've ever seen anyone get that worked up over Razor. I mean, he was a great worker/character, but hardly a giant heel heat machine. Razor's Edge finishes at 2:13. DUD

 

Virgil wants to wish us all a happy new year. It's January 30. Fuck off

 

Bam Bam Bigelow notes that he will not settle for anything less than winning the WWF Title before 1993 is out. Well, I guess feuding with four Doinks would be considered 'more,' because he sure settled for it

 

Tatanka is thanking all the spirits and people who support him for all the success he's had thus far. What success is that, exactly? He's been in the WWF over a year, is undefeated, and hasn't even managed to leverage that into a single title shot

 

Yokozuna accepts Jim Duggan's challenge for next week. Good for him! Bullying and hate against Asians are serious issues, and I'm glad he's standing up for himself

BUExperience: Fun show this week, as we push past the Rumble, and get on the road to WrestleMania.