WWF Superstars (December 9, 1995)

 

Original Airdate: December 9, 1995 (taped November 21)

From Salisbury, Maryland; Your Hosts are Vince McMahon, Jim Ross, and Mr. Perfect

Diesel v Rad Radford: Radford actually tries triggering a slugfest at the bell, and yeah, that does not go well for the kid. Diesel with a cross corner clothesline, and a big boot blasts Radford. Powerbomb, and good night at 1:24. Don’t let the marquee fool you into thinking this was a star/star match, it was a squash. Afterwards, Vince tries to get a word with Diesel, but Diesel gives him the cold shoulder. DUD

Backstage, Dean Douglas chats up Bob Backlund

The WWF Superstars give Harvey Wippleman a literal prison beatdown for inappropriate conduct with a young fan. While dressed as Santa Claus. Merry Christmas! 

Davey Boy Smith v Al Phillips: “Here comes the next WWF Champion,” says Vince. Yeah, that should have told you right then and there that there was no chance in hell that Davey would be winning the title at In Your House. Phillips, meanwhile, is another one of these job guys that had a great look, and probably should have gotten a shot based on that alone. Smith with a running powerslam at 2:35. DUD

Dok Hendrix is in the studio with the In Your House Slam Jam. And a British Bulldog impression that no one asked for

Hunter Hearst Helmsley thinks these hog pens are cruel to animals, so you’d better believe there’s no way he’ll ever get in one. Henry Godwinn, meanwhile, promises to leave him face down in the muck at In Your House

Barry Didinsky shills denim jackets. Perfect notes that these are ‘the perfect gift,’ but fails to add ‘for anyone who never wants to have sex again.’

Yokozuna v John Chrystal: Yokozuna is looking enormous here, and he makes short work on John with the Banzai drop at 0:51. Afterwards, Yoko refuses to get off the guy’s chest, and I have no idea how that doesn’t kill a dude. He really let him have it with the drop too, not really landing on his feet first like he would with most guys. Maybe they had some kind of beef? DUD

Undertaker would like to invite Mabel to a night at the opera

RAW Bowl ad

Dean Douglas v Tony Williams: Backlund personally introduces Dean, and presents him with a paddle to aid in his ‘discipling of the nation’s youth.’ Bob was such a great heel for this era. Meanwhile, Ahmed Johnson split screens in, and yeah, he doesn’t like Douglas. Douglas with a bridging fisherman suplex at 1:12, which triggers Perfect. DUD

Backstage, Savio Vega isn’t afraid of chicken wings. They missed the boat by not having Savio smash a box of chicken wings here

In Your House ad

Bob Backlund v Savio Vega: Bob stalls to start, but ends up tripping over the ropes while climbing in and out of the ring, and face plants on the mat. Probably a work, but might have been a botch, though it was funny either way. They finally make contact over two minutes in, and Backlund uses a takedown, then stops to stall some more. They take some time measuring each other, and Savio schoolboys him for two, as Ross shamelessly cheers him on, still sore from Backlund’s attack last week. More stalling from Backlund, and he tries sneaking up with the crossface chickenwing, but Vega manages to bail. Bob is on him for the chickenwing on the outside, and both guys are counted out at 6:33. This was horrible. There was, maybe, two minutes of actual contact, and even that’s being generous. DUD

Dok is back with another Slam Jam. I like Mabel’s promo here… “some people think I’m scared of Undertaker ‘cause I ran away at Survivor Series…” uh… yeah

Shawn Michaels’ personal physician gives an interview, noting that his brain is, like, messed up, and it may never be safe for him to get back in the ring

Vince narrates a schmaltzy video package about how Shawn is just a human being like the rest of us. They, like, feel pain, and everything. Jokes aside, this was a good bit

BUExperience: Both feature matches sucked, and the rest wasn’t great either.