- Okay, I picked this one up at TOWER Video this week. (Tower
Video? Holy shit. Must have been the one across the street from the Blockbuster
Video) Lets see if it's any good. This is considered the
"turnaround" show for the WWF against WCW. (This was originally written in 2000, when
WCW was still a thing)
- BTW, I use this system:
***** - Excellent **** - Very Good *** - Good **- Okay * -
Decent DUD - Awful.
- Good video package to open up.
- Live from San
Jose, California.
- Your Hosts are, Jim Ross and Jerry "The King"
Lawler.
- Right away we see "Iron" Mike Tyson watching
from a sky box.
- Opening Match: Goldust vs. Vader: Goldust has Luna,
and is also doing the Artist Formerly Known as Goldust gimmick at this point,
and has a BIG ol' gut. Vader gets a HUGE pop, BTW. Dustin controls early on
with a bunch of punches, but Vader comes back to a BIG cheer. Goldust bails,
pissing off the crowd, but Vader goes all Terminator on him, and attacks,
knocking Luna down in the process. He controls for a while, including a WEAK
stair bump by Dustin. Back in, and Luna trips the big guy, turning the tide.
Lots of speed moves by TAFKA Goldust. Big elbow to the mid section draws
"ooohs." He beats the hell out of Vader, and Luna attacks him. 10
punch count by the Artist pisses Vader off, and he gives him a 360 clothesline,
drawing a "Vader" chant. Goldust tries to slam him a couple times,
but can't, so Vader suplexes him. Big splash gets 2, and he stiffly works on
him. He goes for the Vader bomb, but Dustin hits a low blow, and can't
capitalize. Vader calmly dismantles him with various power moves, setting up
another Vader Bomb. As he goes, Luna climbs on his back, and he DOES IT ANYWAY,
for 3 and a MONSTER pop. Nasty bump by Luna too. Good enough opener. ** 3/4. (I
think that rating might be overstating the case a bit, but it was a good
opener, regardless)
- Steve Austin arrives, and tells Cole to park his truck. Austin was a marked man,
as the RAW before he beat EVERYONE up, and EVERYONE is pissed.
- Mini's Match: Max Mini, Nova, Mosaic vs. Battalion, El
Torito, Tarantula: Sunny refs. and the crowd could care less about these
guys. Max Mini is the only one people like, as he had a mini-push for a while.
Nova starts with Tarantula, and they do stuff. Lots of high flying stuff, but
it's Midgets so I could care less. They do LOTS of high spots, some which suck.
Crowd is GONE. Lets FAST FORWARD, BABY! Ain't rating it either. (½*,
for those who give a shit)
- The Nation searches for Stone Cold, but instead find a
Foam Middle Finger.
- Vince and Shane sit with Tyson in the Box.
- WWF Intercontinental Title: The Rock vs. Ken Shamrock:
Rocky gets on the stick, and people BOO him. Weird to see today, but it was
"the usual" back then. BIG pop for Kenny. I never got why they didn't
give him the belt here, and have Rock get it back at WrestleMania. (Well,
no, that wouldn’t have made sense, since the money was in the babyface chase.
However, I would have had Ken pick it up at ‘Mania, and then drop it back to
Rock the next month) They start off all Karate style, to allow the
crowd to get bored. They stall for a long time, and JR is AMAZING on commentary
here. Rock keeps going for cheep shots, and Shamrock keeps countering it
between stalling. Ken stiffly kicks him down, and then knocks him to the floor.
Dwayne takes his sweet time to get back in, and then goes to work like a
vicious boxer, making Tyson proud I'm sure. Ken comes back with lots of
clotheslines, to remind me of the Ultimate Warrior, but Rock stun guns him to
take control. LOTS of punching and kicking here, which proves to me they WERE
NOT ready for this match. The WM and KOTR ones were MUCH better. Big cross body
by Ken for two, and a Hennig plex for two. Miavia comes back, and doesn't seem
to know what to do with him, so he takes him to the floor, and hits him to the
steps, and back inside they go. He still seems confused, so Ken takes over with
PUNCHES(!!) Layin' The Smackdown DDT gets a BIG "ohhhh" and a two
count. That was Vicious! Chinlock by the not yet "Great One," and a
long one two. He tries another Smackdown DDT, but Ken suplexes out. A punching
we go! Ken gets in the zone, waking up the crowd, and a powerslam gets two. He
beats the hell out of Rock, but a good ol' poke in the eye stops that. Ken goes
crazy and rana's him, then takes out the Nation. He turns around and Rock bops
him with brass knux and stuffs them in Ken's tights. It gets 2, and Ken belly
to belly's him for 3. The crowd goes BERZERK, and Ken is the champ. Rock tells
the ref. that Ken has knux in his tights, so he checks him and reverses the
decision, to REALLY piss the crowd off. Shammy kicks some serious ass on some
zebra's, and the crowd chants "Shamrock." Decent, but too punchy-kicky.
* 3/4.
- WWF exclusive Home Video moment: Shamrock attacks the Rock
in the locker rooms.
- Mayhem ensues in the locker rooms as people look for Austin. (Wait,
a shitty WCW pay per view was going on back there?)
- WWF Tag Team Titles: The New Age Outlaws vs. The Legion
of Doom: The NAO still weren't too over, and would go on to be one of the
biggest team in WWF history... and then went back to where they started...
un-over and boring. BTW, in the backstage interview with LOD they go all
"late eighties" and do and interview that looks like it's out of
WrestleMania V or something. Where's Sean Mooney when you need him? (Yeah,
they really never adapted to the Attitude Era, and were still doing 80s
pre-tape style promos) They
still get a big pop though. (It’s called ‘respecting your elders’)
Everyone brawls to start, which LOD wins
with a big powerbomb by Animal on Dogg. The Outlaws try to walk out in
frustration MOMENTS into it, but LOD brings them back, and Hawk kicks some
serious ass on Jesse. JR brings up many old NWA teams, he is *SO* on tonight,
it's NOT even funny. Rude Awakening by Hawk, and then he kicks *Billy's* ass
with the same stuff he did to Jesse. He even works in the "Womens match
only" hair slam spot. Odd to see. Animal controls BOTH of the NAO, and
then rests. Hawk then goes all UFC and starts hooking on submission holds. Trip
up by Road Dogg allows Gunn to knock Animal to the floor, and we go BRAWLING!
Double Teaming by the heels backfires as Hawk hits a double clothesline, but a
blind charge misses and both Road Warriors are down. Jesse grabs Handcuffs, and
cuffs Hawk to the post. Question: Why do the ring side attendants at the Royal
Rumble ALWAYS have handcuffs? This, '99, 2000. What, is the Rumble so dangerous
you JUST NEED cuffs with you at that event? Animal fights them both off, and
almost gets 3 on Gunn, and ANOTHER eye poke (popular tonight) gets the
advantage, but a powerslam gets Animal a SURE 3, but Jesse breaks the count,
and LOD win by DQ. Good enough. ** 1/4. (Where was I getting some of these rating
from?)
- Stone Cold truck contest winner is Mildred Bowers from Nashville, and no, I
don't care. I remember watching this LIVE I was pissed because I entered. (Wow,
I don’t even remember that now. Besides, the fuck was I going to do with a
truck? I was thirteen in early 1998)
- Highlights of Austin
attacking everyone showing why he's a marked man.
- Royal Rumble Match: #1 is Cactus Jack, and #2 is
Terry Funk. At the time they were partners BTW. Also, does anyone else notice
the Chainsaw he carries makes noise, but doesn't move AT ALL. (Yeah,
I think literally everyone noticed that) They go nuts on eachother with
chairs, and Cactus wins that. Funk begs him to hit him, so he does, and he
stumbles around. Jack then hands him the chair and say's "hit ME" so
he does, and beats on him. #3 is Salvatore Sencere aka Tom Brandi, and the
Hardcore Legends eliminate him quickly. They go back to fighting, and lots of
chair spots are set up, including Jack VICIOUSLY suplexing Funk THRU a chair!
#4 is the Rock, and a year later Jack/Rock is a main event feud. He basically
kicks BOTH their asses back and forth 'till he gets bored, and just kills
Terry. They double team him with weapons to amuse the crowd. They get him down,
and go back to fighting eachother. #5 is Mosh, and Funk almost hits a guy in
the front row tossing a chair at him. He and Mosh pair off, as Rock and Foley
go, and nothing of note goes on. Terry with a big moonsault on Mosh, which
almost rips Funk's head off. Slow portion. Phinies is #6, and goes right at
Mosh. He is Mideon, BTW. (Again, here’s me referencing Mideon at the
same level as if I was saying, ‘oh, this Terra Ryzin guy is now Triple H,’ or
something) Rock then takes over
on Mosh (didn't he say this year, he'd only win if he got by Mosh?), and
basically everyone is just stomping and punching everyone else. #7 is 8-Ball
who is currently one of the Harris Brothers in WCW. He does nothing BTW. Funk
eliminates Jack, and then does some goofy selling for Mosh. Crowd is going
crazy about something, but we don't see it, but some cat calls make me think it
was a flasher.Terry almost out by Rock, but he hangs on. #8 is Bradshaw, who
just jumps in the fray beating on EVERYONE. This is SO SLOW, someone DO
SOMETHING of note, damn it! #9 is Owen Hart, who gets a standing ovation my
Mike Tyson. What? Seemed weird to see MIKE TYSON jumping up and down for Owen. (Yeah,
that is weird) He gets attacked
by "Aztec Warrior" Jeff Jarrett and Jim Cornette in the isle, and
can't compete. Great, THAT'LL make me happy. Take a GOOD worker out. Question:
Is the countdown with the clock piped? It always sounds the same. #10 is Steve
Blackman, who has a TON of energy going to work on Funk, and almost eliminating
him. Funk teases about 50 elimination's a minute tonight, BTW. #11 is D-lo
Brown, who goes to work in the "Gang Warz" with 8-Ball, and they show
a lot of potential, but it goes no where. Rock and D-lo double team Bradshaw,
then turn on eachother and trade rights. #12 is Kurrgan, who is TERRIBLE in the
ring. So put OWEN out, but leave HIM in? He is REALLY tall, BTW, and looks like
a monster. (Basically his whole reason for getting hired) He eliminates Mosh in short order, then no
sells Steve Blackman's stuff, and beats the hell out of him. Marc Mero is #13
with Sable, who gets a great pop (all for the chick.) He punches away on Steve,
who is a major target tonight, and Kurrgan quickly tosses him, then attacks
Bradshaw. Another slow portion for a while, and Ken Shamrock comes in at #14 to
a BIG pop. Aren't those different tights from earlier? Everyone gangs up on
Kurrgan and dump him to a pop. Shamrock is *WAY* over BTW. Godwinn and Mero
double team him, then fight eachother, as Ken and Rock go at it. #15 is
Thrasher, who attacks Godwinn with a vengeance, but gets stopped fast, and D-lo
kicks Rock's ass for a while. #16 is Mankind. Foley's 2nd entry tonight, I
guess. He attacks Funk right away and returns the favor by tossing him. He was
in a while, wasn't he. Rocky and Brown double team Mankind, and then Ken comes
over and nearly kills Rock with punches, and almost tosses him, but the eye
poke stops that. #17 is Goldust (with NEW outfit) and he and Mankind brawl,
which goes no where. Shammy and Miavia STILL going at it, as the crowd is
eating it up. Dustin tosses Foley, and then almost gets Mero out. #18 is Aztec
Warrior Jeff Jarrett (with the NWA NA title), and Owen comes in to nearly KILL
Jeff. I mean VICIOUSLY. A year later, they are one of the best teams in the
WWF. I guess Owen is in the match now, and he tosses Jeff to a HUGE pop. #19 is
Honky Tonk man (with BIG gut), and no one seems to know who he is. Rocky gets
Ken out, and HHH wonders down to ringside to scope out Owen, and he cheats to
get him out. #20 is Ahmed Johnson, who is about a year too late for anyone to
care. He's really fat, BTW, and kicks Godwinns ass, then goes after D-lo.
Another slow portion, and #21 is Mark Henry (with BIG OL' SMILE). (Guess
he just had a nice sandwich backstage) He then remembers he's a heel, and gets a mean
look on his face. He goes after Ahmed, and JR yells "Mark is handling the
big Johnson" then realizes what he just said, and starts to stutter.
Lawler keeps giving Honky his props (they are cousins, BTW). #22 is buzzed, but
no one comes out. Ahmed and Godwinn tossed, then Johnson attacks Godwinn for no
reason at all. D-lo turns on Mark and they brawl, and D-lo does the head Wiggle~!
Jerry speculates that Austin
was #22, and that someone beat him down in the back, and then the buzzer for
#23 hits and guess who? No not him, just Kama. The Nation keeps brawling, as
the announcers KEEP speculating Steve was #22. Honky almost gets rid of Rocky,
but he escapes that. Man, Rock has been in there a LONG time. #24 and NOW we
get Austin with
a BIG pop. EVERYONE stops fighting and looks at the entrance for Austin, waiting to kick
his ass. But he comes from the crowd, and quickly tosses a bunch of guys, and
all hell breaks loose. Tyson loves it, and then D-lo goes to work on Austin. #25 is Henry
Godwinn, who stomps a mud hole in Steve. Thrasher helps Austin out, and Godwinn is almost tossed.
AGAIN something happens in the crowd, on TWO different sides, and they are
going nuts. #26 is Savio Vega, but he brings all the Boriquas in to hurt Austin, but Steve cleans
house. Thrasher keeps helping Austin
for whatever reason. Rock isn't even that sweaty, and he was # 4(!!!). #27 is
Faarooq, who goes right for Rocky, and attacks EVERYONE in the Nation. Rock
runs away, and then Rock and Austin
brawl on the floor, but they went THRU the ropes, so are still in. #28 is Dude
Love. THREE TIMES baby! He tosses Bradshaw, and then Steve beats Dustin on the
floor. In the ring, Rock hits the People's Elbow on D-lo (before it was named
such, or anyone cared) and it feels weird to see no reaction to the move. SCSA
attacks Rocky to a pop, and tries to get him out. #29 is Chainz who was the
Underfaker, BTW. He does nothing. King is STILL kissing Honky's ass. #30 is
Vader, who STILL gets a big pop.
- Okay, now the main portion begins. Vader disposes of
Honky, and JR goes "He tosses Cousin Honky Tonk out." and King goes
"He's your Cousin?!?" LOL. Slow portion, as they work slowly, and
then Steve tosses Kama AND Thrasher. Savio stops him, but Austin stops *THAT* and eliminates him.
Goldust floors Vader, and then Dude gets Godwinn out. Chainz eliminates Dustin,
and this is moving FAST now. Down to Faarooq, Rock (!!!), Austin, and Dude. Rock was #4 damn it!
Love and Faarooq fight, as Austin
beats the hell out of Rock. They double team the Nation to big pops, but Austin tuns on Love, and
*THEY* fight. Faarooq tosses Foley, and it's looking bad for Steve. Rock comes
from behind and tosses Faarooq, and Rock and Austin brawl to MAJOR, MAMMOTH pops. Vince
must have been listening, because WrestleMania XV was headlined by which two
wrestlers???? (Vince Russo and Shane McMahon, wasn’t it?) Austin tosses Rock, but pulls a Davey Boy,
and turns around before he hits the floor, and Rock hangs on. Austin stuns him, and now does it for real.
Now *THAT'S* a pop. ** 1/2. Boring at times, but it was okay. Tyson and
Shane-o-Mac go crazy. (Finally, a sane star rating for this show)
- Mike Cole is with Tyson, and he loves "Cold
Stoned." He doesn't know who'll win the title match, but say's he loves
the Undertaker.
- WWF Title Match, Casket Match: Shawn Michaels vs. The
Undertaker: And *THIS* is THAT match. Yeah, Shawn's last healthy match, as
he takes a bump wrong, and ends his career right here. (Well, for now, anyway) The video before the match, BTW, really gets
you relied up for the match, as it shows their history, and how Kane and 'Taker
may be friends as they saluted eachother on RAW and everyone was thinking Kane
would help 'Taker tonight. On with the match. This is the best incarnation of
DX, BTW, Shawn/HHH/Chyna. UT gets an earth shaking pop, which sends shivers up
my spine. 1998 was such a great year for the WWF, from beginning to end, it was
done so right, it isn't funny. Shawn uses his speed to outrun the 'Taker early
on, as he hits and runs. But UT keeps coming at him, and Shawn's bumping makes
this SO much fun. HBK keeps showing his fear by having to nail him and run
away. Attempted cross body, caught by UT IN MID AIR for a chokeslam. Then it
happens: UT backdrops Shawn over the top, and BAM he hits the Casket on his
lower back, and history is made. Immediately the match noticeably slows down,
but Michaels keeps bumping like a mad man, and speeds it back up. UT no sells a
missed elbow, and keeps taking Shawn apart piece by piece. Back, arm, shoulder,
he's going to work tonight! Flair flip (with extra bounce) by Shawn over the
top. Man I miss Shawn so much. He goes up top, and gets powerslammed off.
'Taker almost locks him in, but Shawn tosses powder in the eye's. UT still
finds him, and nearly kills him with a right, and takes it to him, with a bit
of offense from Shawn too. Michaels tosses him to the steps, and then goes to
work with them. Piledriver on the steps produces a big "crack." Ouch,
and sick. DX attacks 'Taker, as JR speculates that if Kane were here, this
wouldn't go down. He goes to put UT in the casket, but Taker comes back, and
Michaels is my hero with his bumping! Long rest hold sequence, as Shawn wants
to put him to sleep so he can put him in the box. Shawn snuffs a comeback by UT
and hits his big elbow off the top. Superkick called, and it hits, allowing him
to roll him in. He shows off too long, so UT reaches up and grabs him down low,
and then goes postal kicking his ass all over the ring. UT knocked in the
casket, and Shawn elbow drops INTO THE CASKET. Whoa. 'Taker then say's
"enough of this" and goes to work trying to KILL him. Big chokeslam
gets a pop, and we're headed to the box. He Tombstones him into it (!!!!), but
the NAO and Boriques come out, and attack. Can UT ever win a Royal Rumble
Casket match without 9 guys coming out? Kane comes in to help him, and cleans
the heels out, then salutes UT again, and turns on him to shock EVERYONE. BIG
boos to that. He chokeslams him in, and HBK closes it. I DO miss Shawn. ****
1/4. (…and
right back to insane overrating) Kane and Paul Bearer lock the casket and roll
it up the isle where they chop it with an axe and light it on fire. Anyone know
how they did it?
- Bottom Line: As I said, this was considered the turnaround
show against WCW. The lower and mid card are good enough, but unspectacular.
And the Rumble is not CLOSE to the best one ever (1992's RR match was the best
at *****), but the Main Event is truly a classic. So we'll go Mildly Recommended.
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