Tuesday, April 22, 2014

WWF Monday Night RAW (August 9, 1993)



Original Airdate: August 9, 1993 (Taped July 25)

From Alexandria Bay, New York; Your Hosts are Vince McMahon, Randy Savage, and Bobby Heenan.

We start with highlights of the Lex Express rolling into Chicago, and Luger throwing out the first pitch at a White Sox game. You know, it wouldn’t kill you to smile during the push of a lifetime, Lex

Cute RAW Girl Sign of the Week: Replaced again, this time with a Lex Luger poster. Wow, there's a push, and then there's shoving a guy down peoples' throats

Opening Match: Tatanka v Mr. Hughes: Hughes attacks from behind during the entrances, but they fuck up a criss cross due to some malfunction with the ring ropes, and Tatanka goes down. They regroup, and Hughes shoves him into the corner for some abuse, as another black wreath is delivered from The Undertaker. Hughes keeps hammering away on Tatanka, but he manages a schoolboy for two, and a bodypress for two. Hughes cuts him off with a clothesline, and goes back to working him over with his slow, punchy-kicky stuff. Head vise, but he ends up missing a cross corner charge, and Tatanka chops him - actually knocking his ridiculous sunglasses off in the process. It spills to the outside, and Hughes slams him out there, but ends up getting backdropped on the floor, and Tatanka wins by countout at 6:00. Boring match, with a shit ending, to boot. DUD

Who is Lex Luger? Here is part two of this five part series, and we start with college, with Lex Cena owning up to his problems (he was kicked out of school) like a real American man! On to football, as everyone told Lex that he wouldn't make the team, but he overcame the odds, like a true American! Then, he heard about WrestleMania, and decided (on a whim, apparently) that he'd become a wrestler - and he did! Like a true American! Notable: Championship Wrestling from Florida is referenced, by name

Six-Person Tag Team Match: Macho Midget and The Bushwhackers v Little Louie, Blake Beverly, and The Brooklyn Brawler: Oh God, really? Apparently Beau couldn't even be bothered with this shit, and I can't say that I blame him. Luke starts with the remaining Beverly, and it quickly turns into a 'comedy' match with all the faces literally biting the asses of the heels. The dust settles on the little guys, and Louie overpowers Macho Midget, but Macho causes him to blow-up after a criss cross spot. They continue on with the usual midget match comedy spots, but these with the added bonus of all the standard Bushwhacker comedy spots. Talk about a 'Best Of!' It drags on, until the 'Whackers help Macho up to the top rope, and he flying splashes Brawler for the pin at 6:25. Way too long for what they were going for, and I could easily throw out some negative stars, but I'll be nice. DUD

Vince McMahon hosts an in-ring segment (along with Savage, Heenan, Jack Tunney, and about a dozen others) for the official SummerSlam contract signing between Yokozuna and Lex Luger. Jim Cornette joins in, introducing himself as Yokozuna's American Spokesperson, and thank God, because Mr. Fuji was a terrible mouthpiece. Other than introducing Cornette, the big news here is that this will be Luger's one-and-only title shot, so he had better get it done. Not a bad segment, and it was nice to see them actually set this match up in a direct way for once (we haven't seen Luger interact with Yoko at all since the July 4 Bodyslam Challenge), even if the payoff was a letdown

Razor Ramon v Dan Dubiel: All night, the babyface wrestlers have been wearing red-white-and-blue wristbands in support of Luger's campaign, but none look more out of place with them than Razor. Not that it stops him from planting a kick on Dubiel right away, and launching him across the ring with a hiptoss. Blockbuster, an abdominal stretch, and an STF, as Razor runs through his usual offense. Side-superplex, and the Razors Edge finishes at a brisk 2:00. Just a squash. DUD

SummerSlam Report. Chevy trucks are like a rock! You know what else is like a rock? Lex Luger's chances at winning the WWF Title! They're rock solid, just like a Chevy truck!

The Heavenly Bodies v Bobby Who and Mike Bucci: This is the WWF debut of the Bodies, so you can imagine how this is going to go for these two jobbers. And it's just like you'd imagine, as the Bodies casually work them over, and finishes when Jimmy Del-Ray moonsaults Bucci at 2:21. ¼*

SummerSlam Spectacular promo

BUExperience: Meh. Outside of the contract signing, there was absolutely nothing to see here. Luckily, we’re back to a live show next week.

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