Friday, January 24, 2014

HITMAN383 Rant for WWF King of the Ring 1993



- The HITMAN383 Rant for WWF King of the Ring 1993, the FIRST KOTR (on PPV anyway)! This is one of the most influential shows in WWF history. Hulk Hogan finally gets flushed out of the WWF … for good. (Oh, you can never really get rid of Hulk Hogan in the WWE. I think that has been WELL established since) And Bret Hart continues to establish his legacy in the tournament. Quite a little bit of history there.


- This is also a big show for me, personally, because I have always been a Bret Hart mark, and this IS kinda HIS show … so you KNOW I’ll be happy to review it =)  (And if you don’t know, there, I just told you)

- BTW, I use this system: ***** - Excellent, **** - Great, *** - Good, **- Okay, * - Decent, DUD - Awful.

- Live from Dayton, Ohio.

- Your Hosts are Jim Ross, Randy Savage and Bobby Heenan. This is also not the JR we know today, as he’s still ALL play-by-play, and not “unleashed” yet. (Of course, later, we hoped someone would leash him again, because he became a chore to listen to with all the cliché calls)  In the opening segment, Bobby even uses Tazz’s line saying, “Crush will be “JUST ANOTHER VICTIM!” in reference to Shawn Michaels’ match with Crush tonight. (This was written in late 2000)

- Opening Round, 15 Minute Time Limit Match: Razor Ramon vs. Bret Hart: Huge pop for Bret. Gotta love that! They do some false tie-ups to start off, as the crowd chants “123” at Razor because the 123 Kid (X-Pac) got a BIG upset win on Razor on RAW a few weeks prior. That’s back when X-Pac actually, you know, jobbed a lot, and a win was a big deal. Bret goes to work on the arm, but Razor breaks and hits a back elbow for two, only to get back into a wristlock on the mat. Razor gets a knee to take control, and tosses Bret shoulder first into the post. He kicks the crap out of Hart, as the fans relentlessly chant “123,” but he still hits a fallaway slam for two. Running powerslam for two, and a series of elbows follows. He hits a sidewalk slam, and Razor tries for the elbow drops again misses a series of them, and Hart kicks serious ass, driving the crowd crazy! Russian leg sweep for two. Backbreaker for two. 2nd rope elbow for two, and a roll-up for two. He tries a bulldog, but Razor shoves him off into the post, and calls for the Edge. He hoists him up, but Bret escapes and tries a backslide, but turns it into a small package for two. Ramon puts him on to the top for the big side suplex spot, but Bret reverses (in MID-AIR) to get the pin at 10:26, and advance. This was okay, ** ¼.

- Opening Round, 15 Minute Time Limit Match: Mr. Perfect vs. Mr. Hughes: Where’s Mr. McMahon? Hughes overpowers him to start, but a criss cross allows Hennig an arm drag. Another gets Perfect a dropkick, but the big guy no sells. Perfect, however, is the master of selling, and bumps over the top of a punch. Now THAT’S dedication! Slugfest ensues, won by Hughes, and he gets a head wrench on Perfect. Big boot by Hughes, and he clubs on him a bit. Hughes moves like a statue, or something. Perfect works the summersault bump in off the cross corner whip, and Bret Hart comes up on a little video screen, saying he rather face Hennig in the semi-finals. Hughes misses the Kevin Nash rope choke spot, and Curt hits a hip toss, and a backdrop! He works Hughes over in the corner, but Hughes gets the urn (that he stole from the Undertaker on Superstar’s that weekend), and nails Perfect causing a DQ at 6:02, so Hennig advances. Nothing match, ½*.

- Opening Round, 15 Minute Time Limit Match: Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Jim Duggan: Oh my dream match! I hope it goes the WHOLE time limit! Duggan, at this point, is not the Canadian Hero, but still the American Hero, for those who care. They do some shoulderblocks (with no one going down) to prove they’re both big. Duggan knocks him over with a series of clotheslines, and Bigelow bails. Bam Bam misses a corner charge, but headbutts Jimmy anyhow! Bam Bam works the ribs (which Duggan SELLS), and hooks a bearhug. Bigelow misses a headbutt, so Duggan tries a slam, but Bam Bam falls on him for two. Back to the bearhug. Duggan escapes and hits the slam that failed before, but misses the 3-point stance, so Bigelow hits a flying headbutt for the win at 4:39, to advance. Boring as hell, DUD. This was also the last WWF appearance of Jim Duggan.

- Hey it’s Terry Taylor (and Ross DOESN’T make fun of him!)! He’s working the Superstar Line, and on there right now are the Smoking Gunns, Crush and the Steiners! I’m calling NOW!

- Opening Round, 15 Minute Time Limit Match: Lex Luger vs. Tatanka: Let me say, Luger’s gimmick RULES! During Luger’s prematch posedown, the referee forces Luger to put an elbow pad on (due to the ‘metal plate’ in his arm). Would that really help? NO! (Better than nothing) Big ass brawl to start off, and Tatanka slams him on the outside. Back inside, and he backdrops Lex, for a two count. Tatanka goes to work on the arm, and the match slows WAY down. Bam Bam comes up on the mini-screen and say’s he wants Tatanka in the semi-finals tonight. I don’t. Luger comes back with a big knee, and he drops an elbow for two. Luger hits a gutbreaker for two (taking two minutes between the move and the cover!), and then hits that famous big elbow of his for two. He argues the count, and Tatanka rolls him up for two, but Luger keeps control. CHINLOCK TIME! Tatanka makes a superman comeback, but Luger ends that with a big clothesline. Oddly enough, only months later LUGER would be the one making lots of superman comebacks. Tatanka gets a fluke inside cradle for a two, but can’t take control. Tatanka with a sunset flip for two, but Lex stomps away. Tatanka makes ANOTHER big comeback, and beats the crap out of Luger and gets two off a big chop. Powerslam for two, and he heads to the top for a big chop for a two count! He tries again, but Lex moves and Tatanka crashes down. Luger with a big ass clothesline for two, and a powerslam for two, with one-minute left in the time-limit! Lex with a backdrop, and a big suplex for two, with 30 seconds left. Backbreaker for two, and the time-limit expires at 15:00 minutes. The match was getting VERY good towards the end, but the middle portion sucked. Call it, * ¼. Luger complains about the time-limit, and asks for five more minutes, and the crowd is into it, but Lex takes off the elbow pad and knocks Tatanka out instead. Oh well. Yes, we all know DRAW’S suck in tourneys, but thinking about it, it had to happen. I mean, Tatanka was being built up as undefeated, and Luger was a big time heel, also undefeated. They didn’t want either man to job, so thus we get this ending. (Yeah, what else are you gonna do? And if you don’t do it in the quarterfinals, you’ve screwed up the rest of your tournament)  Bam Bam gets a bye to the finals, BTW.

- Mean Gene is with Bret and Perfect who will meet in the semi-finals. Both are being nice guys (Um…), but Gene instigates a big argument saying Bret said he thinks Hennig won’t be a hard match, and changing Bret’s words around against him. You know something, Gene’s a real jerk.

- Semi-final Round, 30 Minute Time Limit Match: Bret Hart vs. Mr. Perfect: This is the big SummerSlam ’91 rematch! They wrestle around to start off, doing a good job of keeping it interesting too! Bret slams him, but Curt kicks up, and slams Bret, so Bret turns it into a side-headlock on the mat! Criss cross leads to a Bret crucifix for two, and they go back to the side-headlock. Cross body by Bret for two, and a sunset flip for two! Back to the headlock. Perfect escapes, and hits a standing dropkick (beauty too!) to knock Hart to the floor. He holds the ropes open for Bret to come back in, and then kicks him while he does it! Oooooh, someone’s being a little heel-ish tonight, eh? The crowd is NOT appreciative. A big knee-lift gets two, and he kicks Bret out of the ring (literally). He kicks his ass out there, and then goes back in to some heavy boos. Bret tries to climb back in, so Hennig slingshots him off (like Survivor Series 1995), and Hart flies off into the railing. WHOA! Bret beats the count back in, and Curt covers for two. Perfect heads up, and hits a big missile dropkick for two, as Hart has the feet on the ropes. Bret takes the sternum first bump to the corner for two, and Hennig heads up again, but gets caught and superplexed off! It gets a dramatic two. Bret kicks the hell out of Curt’s knees, and Hennig does his usual overselling job. Hart hooks a figure four, and they do a great job of selling the hold, but Perfect makes the ropes. Hart continues to work the knee. Curt comes back, and hooks a sleeper, but Bret makes the ropes too. Big ass chops by Curt, and he goes back to the sleeper, even using the ropes for leverage. Bret rams Hennig to the corner to break out, and crotches Curt on the post. Ouch. The Russian leg sweep gets two, and Hart hits a backbreaker and the 2nd rope elbow for two. He goes for the Sharpshooter, but Mr. Perfect grabs his bad hand (that Razor hurt earlier), and kicks the crap out of it! He tries the Perfect-plex, but Bret suplexes Bret from INSIDE the ring to the floor. WOW!! They beat the count in, and Curt gets a quick inside cradle for two, but Bret reverses for three at 18:54, to go to the finals! The crowd could not be happier. They tease a fight afterwards, but shake hands in the end. How sweet. The match absolutely rocked, ****. (I gave this the same rating in the BUExperience, but actually bumped it up to **** ¼ when I was writing ‘Fiction.’)

- Terry Taylor is in the crowd to interview a FAMILY! Whoa, a FAMILY! WOW! They like Bret and Hogan, BTW. Wow, now I am JAKKED! A FAMILY!

- Mean Gene interviews Hulk Hogan, who is ready for Yokozuna. Gene calls Hogan “the greatest hero in the history of the world.” Right. Jimmy Hart even sings the opening lines to his WCW theme. Hmmm… (Yeah, that was some weird foreshadowing going on there)

- WWF Title Match: Hulk Hogan vs. Yokozuna: This is the big WrestleMania IX re-match. The fact that this match is only mid-way through the card should tell us all that this won’t be a very happy ending. For the marks anyway. A bunch of photographers also follow Yokozuna to the ring, which becomes important later. Big pop for Hogan, and big ass “Hogan” chant too. They go slow to start off, with Yoko controlling. Usually in a Hulk Hogan match, HOGAN controls to start, loses for a while, and then comes back. Not tonight, as Yoko murders him from the get-go. Yoko misses the big corner charge, and Hogan hammers away. He tries a bodyslam, which fails, but he keeps punching. He tries again, but still no dice, and Yoko takes control. Something just occurred to me: When Hulk Hogan is the fastest guy in a match, we’re in trouble. Hulk gets a series of clotheslines trying to knock Yokozuna down, but it fails as the big guy nails him. He misses a splash, however, so Hogan tries a shoulderblock, which fails, and it’s bearhug time by the big guy. The arm drops twice, and Hogan makes the superman comeback (getting BIG pops), but Yoko takes him down with a back elbow. Belly to belly hits hard for two, and it’s comeback time!! He does the usual Hulk-up routine, but Yoko won’t go down! After 3 big boots he falls (notice, Hogan was not allowed to SLAM Yoko down), and Hulk hits the big leg drop for TWO?!? The crowd is in shock (as is Hulk), and he nails Fuji, then calls for the slam sending the crowd into a frenzy. He’s about to do it, when a Japanese camera man (played by Marty Jannetty) climbs up on the apron, but his camera blows up in Hulk’s face, knocking Hogan down, and Yoko hits Hogan’s own move, the leg drop, to end the match at 13:09, and win the WWF title. Yokozuna then puts an exclamation point on the end of Hulk Hogan’s WWF career, hitting the Banzai Drop on him. The crowd is NOT pleased. This is one of the biggest moments in the WWF’s history, as Hogan gets flushed from the WWF FOREVER. Match sucked, but it gets points for what it was. ½*. Surprisingly, Hogan sold all of this pretty well, for his part. (Hogan went out like a total pro, you’ve got to give him that)

- Gene is with Shawn Michaels, who insults the Hulkster, and lets us know his bodyguard’s name is “Diesel.”

- Eight Man Tag Team Match: The Steiner Brothers and the Smoking Gunns vs. Money Inc and the Headshrinkers: DiBiase and IRS were the tag team champs at this point. Scott opens with Teddy, and they s-l-o-w-l-y do some mat stuff. The Steiners play catch with Ted, knocking him in and out of the ring a few times, in a cute spot. Ted tags Fatu (Rikishi), and Scott tags Bart. Bart wins that, but drops Fatu on his head, so he takes a superkick. IRS gets in, and controls Bart with a big back elbow. Ted gets back in, and Bart IS Ricky Morton. Low blow by Samu gets two, and a backbreaker by Fatu gets another. IRS heads to the top, and hits a big punch (yes, a punch), for two, but Bart makes a mini-comeback with a sunset flip. It gets two. Double KO spot follows, and Both guys tag. Billy is a house of fire on DiBiase, but the crowd is GONE. Still in shock over Hogan, I guess. Ted hits a stun gun, and hooks the Dream, looking to put Gunn out. He lets it off early, however, and Gunn gets a fluke small package for the win at 7:00. Decent enough match, *.

- Gene is with the NEW WWF champion, Yokozuna along with Jack Tunney. We all expect Tunney to order a re-match, like he did after Survivor Series 1991, but instead he CONGRATULATES Yokozuna. The end of Hulk-a-Mania?

- WWF Intercontinental Title Match: Shawn Michaels vs. Crush: Diesel is dressed like DDP here. (Yoga pants?)  Cursh controls with a headlock early, and shoulderblocks Michaels all the way to the floor! A long criss cross leads to an eye poke by Michaels, but Crush no-sells, so Michaels hooks an arm-bar. Another criss cross leads to a series of dropkicks by Crush, knocking the champ to the floor. For those that don’t know, Crush was DAMN GOOD at this point, and not the Kronic bum he has become. Crush takes Michaels’ legs out, and hits a monster press slam on the Heartbreak Kid, getting a big pop. The Tilt-a-whirl backbreaker hits, and Crush calls for the Head Vice, so Diesel pulls Shawn out. Crush follows out, allowing Diesel to distract him, and Michaels to jump him. Cute. Shawn then gets VICIOUS and rams Crush’s head to the post, on the floor. OUCH!! Crush is OUT now, so Shawn has to DRAG HIM in … literally. Crush does a great sell-job too. He only gets two, however, so he hits a big double ax off the top for two. Shawn hooks a front-facelock, trying to put Crush back out, but he powers out, and slams him REALLY high. They should have had Crush vs. Perfect, considering Crush’s strength, and Hennig’s sell ability. Adams drops him on the top rope, hard, and slams him off the top. He hits a big backdrop, and a backbreaker for two. A leg drop for a two, and he clotheslines Shawn to the floor as the two Doink’s make their way out. They had an issue with Crush at the time. They distract Crush long enough for Shawn to hit a superkick to the back of the head to get the pin, and retain at 11:04. Crappy ending to an okay-ish match. ** ¼.

- King of the Ring Finals, 1 Hour Time Limit Match: Bret Hart vs. Bam Bam Bigelow: Bret is STILL really over. Even though this is his third match tonight. Slugfest to start, won by Bigelow, but Bret escapes a press slam into a cross body for two. Hart works the arm, but Bam Bam powers out and press slams Hart to the floor, over the top. WOW! Bret is just bumping like CRAZY tonight. Bam Bam works the back, using headbutts, and then rams him to the corner for two, as Hart gets his foot on the ropes. Side suplex gets two, and Bigelow keeps using his head for some more two counts. He hooks a big bearhug, to the small of the back, meaning he picks him WAY up high, which takes a lot of strength on Bam Bam’s part. Bret tries to escape, so Bam Bam hits another big side suplex for two. The match spills to the floor, where Hart rams Bigelow to the rail (which breaks), and a little kid gets hurt. Bret tries a cross body on Bam Bam, but he catches him and rams him to the post. He slams him on the floor, and distracts the ref. allowing Luna to come out and bash Hart with a chair! Bam Bam calmly dumps him back in, and hits the top rope headbutt for the win at 9:17. It’s not over though, as Earl runs out, and lets the official know about Luna, so the match continues. Bam Bam attacks, and keeps working Bret’s back, but Bret gets a side suplex (lots of those in this match, eh?), but cannot capitalize. Bam Bam misses a big butt splash, but Bret is STILL dead, so Bam Bam keeps hammering him. He hooks a big overhead backbreaker, but Bret reverses into a sleeper, which Bam Bam slams him out of. He’s dazed, however, so Bret dropkicks him in the back, and shoves him to the floor. He hits a no hands dive, over the top, and hits a 2nd rope clothesline for two. Russian leg sweep connects, and a big bulldog of the 2nd rope sets up the Sharpshooter. It fails (Bret was told not to win any of his three matches with the Sharpshooter that night), however, and Bam Bam drops onto Hart for a two count. The crowd is going NUTS now. Bam Bam charges Bret in the corner, but Bret gets the foot up, and hits the Victory Roll to get the win, and hits 2nd KOTR at 17:07! Match was there, ** ½.

- Bret then heads to the coronation set, and Gene crowns him King. The fans (and I) LOVE IT, but out comes Jerry “The King” Lawler to argue that HE’S the real King of the WWF. Bret (rightly) say’s that Lawler didn’t earn the right, so Jerry gets Memphis on his ass, and attacks him. A big beatdown ensues (with the crowd getting PISSED), thus kicking off one of the biggest WWF feuds ever. (I wouldn’t go as far as to say ‘biggest ever,’ but it did last a good few years, on and off – though the lack of a proper blowoff at Survivor Series that year certainly hurt it) I was VERY pissed at the time myself, considering I’m a big Bret Hart mark.

- Bottom Line: Well, it’s the first ever King of the Ring on PPV, and it’s a Bret Hart night with Bret winning his second tourney (he won the 1991 one too, before it was on PPV.) Bret Hart marks, like myself, will love it. But the part where Lawler attacks him STILL pisses me off to this day, which proves how great a feud it was. Also on the historical front, this is the last WWF apperance of Hulk Hogan, which is CERTAINLY a major event.

- On the Wrestling side of things, this is a decent catch. Nothing is too insulting on here, and most of it is fairly solid, along with a classic Bret/Hennig match. Whenever Bret Hart wrestles THREE times in one show, it can’t be all bad =)

- Recommended for a history lesson, and a good show.

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