- King of the Ring 1994. One of my favorite show from back
in the day, because I AM the biggest 1994 WWF mark EVER! It’s actually a pretty
good show for everyone too, anyway.
- Also, I was told that many people wrote our webmaster at
wrestlingrants.com and told them they hate HITMAN383. Now, I don’t want to tell
anyone what/how to think, but considering I am one of the nicest and most
accessible writers on the ‘net today, I am a bit confused as to why I am
disliked. If you want to keep HITMAN383 at wrestlingrants.com, please write to
Joe (the Webmaster) at Joe@wrestlingrants.com and let him know you want
HITMAN383 to stay on. Thanks! (I don’t even remember that website, or that
entire drama today (this was originally written in late 2000). I wrote for a lot
of sites back then… some people liked it, some people didn’t, I guess)
- Also, thanks to the many of you who already have!
- BTW, I use this system: ***** - Excellent, **** - Great,
*** - Good, **- Okay, * - Decent, DUD - Awful.
- Live from Baltimore
Maryland.
- Your Hosts are Gorilla Monsoon, Randy Savage and Art
Donovan. Art is a retired Baltimore
football player, and isn’t exactly in tune with the WWF, or wrestling in
general. Kind of like Susan St. James at WrestleMania II.
- Opening Round, 15 Minute Time Limit Match: Bam Bam
Bigelow vs. Razor Ramon: Art picks Razor to win the tourney, for those who
care. Razor flicks his toothpick at Luna to start, provoking Bam Bam to eat him
for lunch. Art wants Savage to hold his hand. That is just weird! (If
you’ve never seen the Art Donovan compilation video someone put together on
YouTube, look it up) Bam Bam misses a top rope headbutt, and Ramon
takes it to him, and crotches him on the post. 2nd rope bulldog for two, and he
works on the leg. He tires a charge, but Bam Bam moves and tosses Ramon to the
floor, in a nice bump. Bigelow with an enzuguri for two, and he works the back
with headbutts. He even pulls the hair, which Monsoon calls a “reverse
chinlock.” Okay. He hooks an overhead backbreaker, as Art awaits him to toss
Razor out of the ring. He say’s he wants Razor to win, but doesn’t even know
the guy in the ring IS Razor. Why was he brought in? Friend of Pat Patterson?
The backbreaker goes on for a long while, until Razor hits a side-suplex but
both guys are dead. Bam Bam misses a corner charge, so Razor slams him, but
Bigelow gets a slam of his own to comeback. He heads up for a moonsault, but it
backfires, and Razor slams him off (in an UGLY looking spot, landing right on
his head) for the pin at 8:23. Razor advances, and the match was okay. **. Last
year Bam Bam gets to the finals, tonight he jobs in the first match. (And
the opposite for Ramon, who jobbed in the first match the year before, and goes
to the finals here)
- Opening Round, 15 Minute Time Limit Match: IRS vs.
Mabel: Art can’t believe IRS is a wrestler. (Yeah, well, I can’t believe Art
is a commentator, so it all balances out, I guess) IRS tries to jump
the big guy to start, but it backfires, and Mabel kills him while Art complains
that it isn’t fair that Mabel is bigger than IRS. What is this, amateur night
for commentating? IRS takes control, and hits a big clothesline and a series of
elbows for two, while Gorilla compares Mabel to a beached whale. I agree. He
dumbly tries a slam, so Mabel rolls over on him (called a “small package”) for
two, but Irwin hooks a chinlock. Mabel uses his gurth to escape, and hits a big
backdrop, and what was supposed to be a Bossman slam (but not quite) for two.
He goes to the 2nd rope, but gets knocked off by IRS, who makes the worst
looking cover EVER for three at 5:39. I mean, he barely covered any body area
there. IRS advances to face Razor in the semi-finals. The crowd is
underwhelmed, as am I. TERRIBLE match, - ¼*. (This
isn’t negative stars)
- Opening Round, 15 Minute Time Limit Match: Tatanka vs.
Owen Hart: Tatanka jumps Owen as he gets in the ring, and hits a backdrop
for two, and a suplex for two, to try to make us THINK he has a chance tonight.
A criss cross leads to a Tatanka hip toss, and the X-Pac arm-drag, but he stops
the flow with a side headlock. Another criss cross leads to Owen tossing
Tatanka out, and ramming him to the post. Dear G-D, Tatanka is OVER, big time!
Owen hits the Nash rope-choke spot, and destroys the Native American. He hits a
big suplex, and heads up for a missile dropkick getting two, then hooks a
sleeper. Tatanka fades, but makes his usual dancing comeback and hits a DDT for
two. He goes to the top, and hits a big chop for two, and a running powerslam
for two! He tries a sunset flip, but Owen outsmarts him and cradles the legs
for the win at 8:18. The beginning and ending were hot, but the middle portion
was a bit slow. *.
- Todd speaks WWF Intercontinental champion Diesel and Shawn
Michaels, who are ready for Bret tonight, in the title vs. title match. Diesel
tells Hart he has two words for him, but oddly enough it isn’t “suck it,” but
“Jack Knife!” Uhhh, Jackknife is ONE word, dumb ass!
- Opening Round, 15 Minute Time Limit Match: Jeff Jarrett
vs. The 123 Kid: The Kid is X-Pac, when he didn’t suck. Randy and Monsoon
have now started completely ignoring Art’s comments, thank G-D. I mean, he’ll
say something, or ask something, and they’ll just pretend he didn’t say a word.
Jeff beats the hell out of Sean to start, but he gets a quick roll up for two,
only to have Jeff continue to stomp away. He misses a dropkick, and the Kid
gets a quick victory roll for two, but Jeff gets a slingshot suplex, and a 2nd
rope elbow. Sean with a spin heel for two, but he misses a big senton bomb.
Ouch. Jeff misses the Nash rope choke spot, and the Kid hits a big cross body
off the top for two. He misses a senton into the corner, hurting his knee, and
Jeff works on it. He tries the figure four, but Sean gets a quick small package
for the upset win at 4:39. Good match. Oddly, it’s the shortest match of the
first round, but the best. ***. Jeff, embarrassed, gives him 3 piledrivers, and
a series of 2nd rope elbow’s in retaliation afterwards, pissing the crowd off.
The Kid has to be carried off afterwards, arousing speculation about his
participation in the Semi’s. (Generally arousal will lead to at least
semis, so I’d say he’s good)
- An add for the “New WWF Generation” the add campaign
trying to make us forget about the “old” like Hulk Hogan. We all know where
THAT campaign led. 1995 anyone?
- WWF World Title Match: Bret Hart vs. Diesel: Why is
this going on so early? Diesel is the IC champ here, but only Bret’s gold is
up. He also has HBK with him, for backup. The deal here, is that Bret was
hyping that he’d have a family member with him to protect him from Shawn’s
cheating (like Walton Payton at SummerSlam ’94), which was a ‘big mystery’ at
the time. Bret is WAY over at this point, too, and brings out his guest Jim
Neidhart. Long stall-fest to start, but a slugfest heats things up, and Bret is
in BIG trouble as Nash controls. Diesel misses a foot charge to the corner, and
hits his knee, which Bret goes to work on (and Nash’s SELLS!). Roll up by Bret
gets two, and he takes it to the big guy. Diesel uses an eye-poke to comeback,
but misses the corner knee charge AGAIN! Bret now seriously works the knee,
including a figure four. That drives the crowd wild, but the big guy reaches
the ropes. Doesn’t matter much to Bret though, who lets off and keeps kicking
the hell of the leg! He does a spinning toe hold, and Nash kicks him off to the
floor, and tries to follow, but Bret pulls him down and rams the knees to the
post! Shawn clotheslines Bret to stop the effort, so Jim chases him, only allowing
Shawn to get ANOTHER cheep shot on Bret! Great sequence! Bret goes to the top,
and Nash tries to catch him in a bear hug, but falls down in the process. He
makes up for it, however, by picking Bret up in it (WHILE ON THE MAT), and
keeping it on. That was very cool. Hart knocks the big guy out, and tries his
slingshot bodyblock, but Diesel uses his brain (!), and moves. Bret gets rammed
to the post, and Nash works on the back, inside the ring. Sidewalk slam gets
two, and Nash hooks on a backbreaker. This was before Nash was lazy, and sucky,
BTW. Big elbow for two, and he hits the Nash rope choke spot. Odd, that NASH
would do that move. Shawn keeps cheating like there’s no tomorrow, and Bret
takes the sternum first corner bump for two, but gets a small package for two.
Diesel with a clothesline for two, and he hooks a head wrench. He hits a
backbreaker for two, as Shawn tries to take off the turnbuckle pad. Bret turns
an overhead backbreaker into a sleeper, but Nash powers out, and takes the pad
off the turnbuckle, only to get rammed into it himself! They have a big
slugfest (won by Hart), and he hits a flying clothesline for two. Russian leg
sweep for two. 2nd rope elbow for two, and a big bulldog (which Nash sells with
a FLIP) sets up the Sharpshooter! Shawn gets involved, so Bret decks him off
the apron (to the rail, in a HARD bump), and gets a small package for two. Bret
tries a flying clothesline, but takes a big boot, and Diesel calls for the
Jackknife, which was a big deal at the time, because no one knew if Hart could
kick out. Bret rolls Diesel through, however, and hooks a Boston Crab, but he
quickly makes the ropes. Bret dropkicks him to the floor, but Neidhart decides
not the cheep shot Diesel, which gets him rammed to the post, and allows Shawn to
bash Bret with the IC belt, in the ring. Diesel calmly drops an elbow, but it
ONLY GETS TWO, driving the place CRAZY!! He picks Hart up for the Jackknife,
and hits the move, but Jim runs in and decks Diesel for the DQ at 22:49,
causing the mystery of “can Bret kick out” to die. Bret retains the belt, but
Diesel gets the win. Shawn and Diesel are PISSED to say the least, and kick the
crap out of Bret as a result. Good match here, *** ½. Bret IS a miracle worker!
This launched the cult following of Diesel (Well, the Diesel following kind of started
at the Royal Rumble, but yeah, this performance certainly helped him along),
which would eventually get him the WWF title that November. I think we ALL know
how that turned out.
- Jerry Lawler speaks, and MAKES FUN OF ART DONOVAN (!!),
then runs down Piper, who he will face tonight. Jerry is my new hero, running
down those two losers! (Hey, what’s my beef with Piper?)
- Semi-final Round, 30 Minute Time Limit Match: Razor
Ramon vs. IRS: Art: This is the guy I picked, Razor, right? No Art, Razor
is the guy in the Indian get-up. You know, he ALREADY WRESTLED earlier,
shouldn’t you KNOW WHO HE IS already? Razor jumps him on the floor (IRS, not
Art), but IRS quickly comes back and drops an elbow for two. It spills out, and
Razor rams him to the steps, but IRS works the leg, back in the ring. Chinlock
time! IRS makes up for it, however, putting his feet on the ropes in the
process. Razor comes back with a big back elbow, and uses IRS’s tie against
him. It fails though, as IRS hits the Write Off (flying clothesline), but gets
Razor’s Edged for three at 5:12. Nothing match, ¼*.
- Todd wants to speak with the 123 Kid, but he doesn’t show
up, which furthers speculation that he won’t make it out to face Owen in the
semi’s.
- Semi-final Round, 30 Minute Time Limit Match: Owen Hart
vs. The 123 Kid: At first the Kid doesn’t make his way out, but limps his
way out eventually, to a big pop. Owen meets him at ringside with a VICIOUS
baseball slide, and an over the top dive. Back in, and Owen hits a SWEET top
rope splash, but Sean gets a quick moonsault for two, and a rolling cradle for
two. They wrestle around on the mat for a bit, and the Kid hits a kick series
for two. Hart with an enzuguri for two, but Kid hits a Northern Lights Suplex
for three, but Owen’s foot was on the ropes. Hart bails, so Sean hits a
slingshot bodyblock, but Owen connects with a German suplex for two. Belly to
belly for two, and Kid uses the victory roll again for two, and Owen rolls
through for a two of his own. Kid tries a big rana, but Owen hits a CRAZY
powerbomb, and hooks the Sharpshooter for the win at 3:36! HOLY CRAP, THAT
ROCKED! WAY TOO SHORT, but still ****. See back then, Sean DID NOT suck,
getting *** with Jarrett and **** with Owen, all in the same night. GET BACK TO
THIS X-PAC! Totally back and forth match, and had it gone another 5 minutes or
so it might easily be a contender to Shawn and Razor’s crown of 1994’s MOTY. (This
was an amazing little match, that indeed was criminally short)
- WWF Tag Team Title Match: The Headshrinkers vs.
Yokozuna and Crush: RIP Yoko. Art doesn’t quite get the concept of Tag Team
wrestling, proving he REALLY IS a dumb ass. The Shrinkers are the faces here,
so they are announced from AMERICAN
Samoa, so EVERYBODY is clear on who the faces are.
Big brawl to start, won by the faces, as they establish that EVERYONE in the
match has a really hard head. The heels bail, and take a long break out there.
Notice how much Crush has deteriorated since the year before. Yokozuna gets in
there with Samu, who dumbly tries a slam, and gets his ass handed to him. He
hammers the big guy, and kicks him to the floor, so both tag. Fatu (Rikishi)
and Crush have a go, which ends with a Fatu piledriver, and a 2nd rope headbutt
for two. Fuji
nails Fatu with the flag, allowing Crush to clothesline his head off, and hit a
piledriver of his own (making zero contact, BTW). It gets one, and Yoko hits a
big ass leg drop for two, which Samu saves. Fatu play’s Ricky Morton some more,
as Crush hits a fist drop for two, and pulls a Yokozuna by hooking a nerve
hold. Not you too, Brian? Yoko misses a corner charge, and both tag out,
allowing Samu to powerslam Crush, and clothesline Yokozuna down. Both Shrinkers
get in, and hit a double superkick to knock Yoko out, but Samu gets crotched
allowing Crush a superplex. Yoko drops a big leg again, but out comes Lex Luger
(who is pissed at Crush about costing him a spot in the KOTR), and distracts
him allowing Samu to roll him up for two (which looked like it was supposed to
be three, but got screwed up), so Fatu superkicks him for the pin at 9:20.
Afterwards, Luger and Crush have a big brawl. Match was slow, but not TOTALLY
worthless, ½*.
- Final Round, One Hour Time Limit, King of the Ring
Title: Owen Hart vs. Razor Ramon: Art’s still confused. They trade some
reversals to start, and Owen slaps him across the chops, so Ramon slams him and
drops an elbow for two. Art guesses that Owen weighs 30 pounds. Yeah Art,
whatever you say. Ramon with a slingshot for two, and they do a nice mat
wrestling sequence, where Owen bridges up off the mat, and Ramon backslides him
for two. I miss that spot. Owen gets a spin heel kick, as someone informs Art
of the booking decisions, and he say’s Owen’s gonna end up winning, and not
Razor. Why was he brought in again? Owen hooks a rope assisted abdominal
stretch, but a criss cross leads to a Razor chokeslam for two. Fallaway slam
for two, but Owen flips out of a suplex, and hits a Russian leg sweep, but gets
crotched up stairs, and side suplexed off. He calls for the Edge (move, not
Pizza) (Is that even still a thing?), but Owen backdrops him to the
floor, and out runs Jim Neidhart to help Razor, but ‘shockingly’ turns on the
Bad Guy, allowing Owen to hit a big top rope elbow for the win, and the
Kingship at 6:36. Pretty good, ** ½. Afterwards, the Hart’s hit a Hart Attack
on Razor, to make sure all the REALLY dumb people (Art, I’m talking to you)
know that Jim is a heel.
- Todd and Jack Tunney crown Owen the 1994 King of the Ring,
and Owen cuts a great heel promo, and dubs himself the “King of Harts,” a
moniker that stood with him until that sad day in May of 1999. Jim has the
honor of crowning Owen, and it’s definitely one of my favorite Owen moments
ever, along with WrestleMania X, and SummerSlam 1994. I MISS 1994!
- Review of the Piper/Lawler feud. Basically, the King used
his usual wit to insult Piper on the “King’s Court,” his interview show on RAW
back in the day. He even went as far as to have a REALLY geeky, skinny kid
impersonate Piper on the show, and make Piper look bad.
- Todd talks with the Governor of Maryland who lets us know
he’s a big Hulk Hogan fan. Opps!
- Main Event Match, Jerry Lawler vs. Roddy Piper:
Piper is doing this for some kids in a hospital in Toronto, supposedly. Lawler, being his usual
self, walks around the ring and makes fun of everyone. He even makes fun of the
Governor. Gotta love Jerry. Piper gets played down live by bagpipers, and even
makes his way out with that nerdy kid that impersonated him on the King’s Court.
Who is that loser? Piper kicks his ass all over the ring to start, so Lawler
bails, and Piper kicks his ass in the isle! Back in, more pounding by Piper, as
Art lets us in on his insight: “I don’t think Piper likes that guy!” Really?
VERY slow criss cross leads to Piper stomping on his back, and another leads to
Lawler trying the same, so Piper delivers some low blows, and an atomic drop.
It spills out, and Jerry goes after the geek, but gets his ass handed to him by
Roddy. This is just a slaughter. Lawler finally gets Piper down, and chokes
away at the nerdy guy, but Piper defends him by laying on the kid and
vibrating. Okay. Horeshak finally escapes (WELCOME BACK KOTTER REFERENCE!!!),
but Piper is still in bad shape. He gets Piper’s own move, the Sleeper, and
Roddy fades. It gets two arm drops, and Piper makes the big comeback, but
Lawler keeps working him over. Piledriver time! It only gets two, however, so
the King keeps punching him, but Roddy WILL NOT stay down! Piper wins a
slugfest, and hits two bulldogs, but the ref. gets bumped on a third attempt.
Lawler gets a weapon out of his tights, and decks Piper, and covers (with feet
on the ropes) for two, as the geek saves. Piper hits a sloppy side suplex from
behind, and covers for the win at 12:17. The fact that this got nearly 10 minutes
more than Owen/Kid scares me. The match, DEFINETLY sucks, but it was fun in a
weird way. Still, a DUD.
- Bottom Line: Well, like I’ve always said I’m a HUGE
mark for 1994 WWF, and this show is no different. But honestly, this is a
pretty damn good show. Bret caries Kevin Nash to a very good match, Owen and
X-Pac have a great little match, and most of the rest is fairly solid. Plus,
it’s Owen’s shining moment in the WWF, which is worth something, historically,
too.
- Just on a side note: Due to the steroid trials Vinny was
under at the time, this show’s buyrate was like, nothing, and everyone knew
Owen was gonna win before hand. But to me, it’s still a big moment. (I
was nine years old at the time, and didn’t know shit about steroid trials –
wrestling was all new and exciting to me)
- Recommended.
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