Monday, January 27, 2014

HITMAN383 Rant for WWF SummerSlam 1994



- Today here for one of the first PPV’s I saw live (as in, on PPV) (I think that distinction goes to King of the Ring 1994, but this was one of the first, yeah). I have always liked it as a mark, so lets see how it holds up in the HITMAN383 rant for SummerSlam 1994!


- BTW, I use this system: ***** - Excellent **** - Great *** - Good **- Okay * - Decent DUD - Awful.

- Live from Chicago, Illinois

- Your Hosts are Vince McMahon and Jerry “The King” Lawler.

- “Macho Man” Randy Savage comes out first to welcome everyone to SummerSlam! Some question his loyalty to the WWF for going to WCW, but he still could still perform, but was made to do this. I will say this, he is really nice to the fans.

- Vince and Jerry announce that we have new WWF Tag Team champions as Shawn and Diesel have won the straps from the Headshrinkers the night before.

- Opening Match: IRS and Bam Bam Bigalow vs. The Headshrinkers: This was for the Tag Belts, but the Clique got involved, so ya know. Bigalow starts with Fatu, and Bam Bam hammers away to start. He misses a charge, and gets superkicked for two. Bam Bam quickly comes back with an enzuguri, but misses a flying headbutt. Samu tagged in, and they double superkick him for another two. IRS gets in, and gets his ass handed to him, as the crowd goes crazy. The Shrinker’s are trying real hard here, I guess wanting to show they want belts back. (Remember the days when effort actually went hand-in-hand with pushes?) Fatu gets back in, but Bigalow pulls the rope down off an Irish whip, and he tumbles to the floor. Ass whooping follows. Bam Bam gets officially tagged in, and he and Fatu do the double KO spot. Both tag out, and the crowd is in a frenzy as both Corporation members get their ass kicked. Headbutt from the 2nd rope gets two on IRS, but Bam Bam saves. Some nice tandem stuff follows, and they go for their big splash. It hits, but the ref. is caught up with DiBiase. Pier Six breaks out with EVERYONE, managers included, going at it as the crowd goes nuts. Bam Bam takes a triple headbutt, and they brawl up the isle. The official call? The Corp. by DQ, at about 6:45. Crowd don’t like that. Fun little match though, ** ¼.

- WWF Women’s Title: Alundra Blayze vs. Bull Nakano: Stalling so start, and then Bull goes into ass whoop mode, and takes it to Blayze. Hair slam spot (VICIOUS one) follows, and then another for good measure. She hits the Hogan leg drop for one, and then chinlocks her. USA chant goes up, but it doesn’t inspire Alundra or anything. She does pull off a rana for two, and a spin kick. He tries it again, so Bull chokeslams her. She gets a Texas Cloverleaf on, but Alundra makes the ropes. Bull now gets the Sharpshooter on, and wrenches her back with it! My G-D that was vicious. Luna interferes, Blayze gets a fluke roll up for two, and Bull hooks an armbar, which Alundra rolls with for another two. Blayze with a few hair slam spots of her own, and tries a powerbomb, but that backfires. Bull slams for two, and then a great little sequence leads to an Alundra backslide for two. Bull gets control again, but misses a butt splash from the top, so Blayze gets a German suplex for three at 8:10, popping the crowd BIG. Damn good match too. ***.

- Todd talks with WWF IC champ, and Tag champ Diesel, along with Tag champ Shawn Michaels. They are gonna hurt Razor Ramon, BTW.

- WWF Intercontinental Title: Diesel vs. Razor Ramon: Crowd is pumped for this one. The crowd is actually CHEERING the heel Diesel, but Razor gets a mammoth pop of his own. Man, did someone piss off Razor’s second Walter Payton backstage? He has this look like “I have to act like I wanna be here, but I don’t really. Wrestling is really stupid next to football.” I hope someone smacked him up in the back. Razor pounds to start popping the place, and Diesel sells all the way to the floor. Nash can sell? Who knew? He comes back in, and works over Ramon, not being lazy about it in the process. WHAT HAPPENED TO THIS NASH? Shawn, of course, is THE MAN on the outside, doing every trick in the book in terms of heel manager cheating. For example, Diesel has Razor in the corner with the boot choke spot, so Shawn tugs his hair at the same time. (It’s too bad Shawn wasn’t wrestling much during this period, because I would have loved to have seen something, like, Michaels/1-2-3 Kid at this show) Diesel gets a quick standing chinlock, but Razor side suplexes him. Diesel quickly comes back, and tosses him over the top to the floor, as Shawn removes the turn buckle pad. He and Payton tease a fight, and as the ref. breaks it up, Shawn flying clotheslines Razor on the floor. Repeat: SHAWN IS THE MAN! Razor beats the count, and Nash continues to pound. He wants to use the exposed corner, but the ref. stops him. Michaels distracts him, and Diesel rams him to the buckle, and sidewalk slams him for two. See, Tony, THAT is a sidewalk slam. Take Note. Razor fights back, but Diesel kills the attempt with a big boot for three, but the foot was on the rope. Nash then gets an Abdominal Stretch, but is a good little heel and grabs the ropes. My theory is: If you HAVE TO use things like chinlocks, and abdominal stretches, use the ropes. Earl finally catches him, and Ramon gets a stretch of his own, but Nash hip tosses him out. Nash gets rammed to the exposed buckle for a long two, as the crowd lets out a mass “ohhh” thinking he had him. Razor pounds away, and outsmart Nash (not a hard thing) (That’s not fair. Love him or hate him, Kevin Nash is far from stupid) and crotches him to the post. BIG bulldog hits for two, again getting this VERY hot crowd going. He slams Diesel for another two, and Shawn goes up on the apron, so Razor decks him off in a great bump. That was enough to distract him though, and he tries the Powerbomb, but Razor backdrops out of it. He calls for the Razor’s Edge, but Shawn gets involved, and a double KO spot follows. Shawn and Payton go on the outside, and Shawn sneaks in to superkick Ramon, but he ducks, and Shawn hits Diesel! Razor crawls over and covers for the win, and the IC title at 13:55. Good match here, ***. Diesel and Shawn have problems afterwards.

- Todd is with Luger and Tatanka. Todd say’s the WWF opinion poll shows 54 % of the fans think Luger sold out to Ted DiBiase, and 46 % think he didn’t. Tatanka makes accusations, and they’re gonna settle it TONIGHT!

- Lex Luger vs. Tatanka: The issue here is Tatanka thinks Luger sold out to Ted DiBiase, but Luger say’s he didn’t. Crowd is pretty convinced by this angle though, cheering Tatanka loudly, and a mixed reaction for Luger. Funny thing, they stand in silence, and once the bell sounds, they INSTANTLY start jawing at eachother. It’s like “SHHHHH! You can’t talk until the bell, dummy!” They do the normal babyface vs. babyface match up, doing tie up’s going to a clean break, and generally not being aggressive in the early going. Which basically means we get a boring match with no one in control. Finally, they blow up and start pounding eachother, which Luger wins, and Lex gets a two off a snap suplex. He misses that big elbow, and Tatanka gets a powerslam for two. Tatanka gets a great suplex, and heads up to hit a tomahawk chop for two. He tires again, but badly misses, and Luger gets a series of clotheslines, and out walks Ted DiBiase with a Red, White and Blue bag full of MONEY! He offers it to Luger, and Tatanka rolls him up for the pin at 6:00. Decent match. *. Luger throws a fit over the way Tatanka won, and Ted comes in to give Lex some money, but Luger kicks it away, and Tatanka jumps him?!? No seriously, I DID NOT see that coming at the time. He and DiBiase lay in a major league ass kicking, and walk out, arms around eachother.

- Mabel vs. Jeff Jarrett: Oh boy! Can you believe that this guy, who had no heat, and looked like an idiot would be the big shot in WCW today? Back then I would have NEVER, EVER guessed it. (This was written in 2000) BTW, Oscar can’t rap … AT ALL! Mabel over powers Jeff to start, and Jeff struts without real reason. Mabel mocks it, and continues to pound Jarrett. The Chosen One outsmarts Mabel, and hits a pretty cool elbow off the 2nd rope. He keeps working to drop Mabel off his feet with a bunch of stuff off the ropes. On the 3rd try, he gets caught but eye rakes out. Mabel no sells some rights, and takes over the offense, but Jeff keeps fighting back! He hits a crappy spin heel kick for two, and a big splash for another two. Jeff gets control, but goes after Oscar, which costs him, and Mabel eats him for lunch, but Jeff moves out of the way of a butt splash and pins him at 5:45. Lets move on, huh? ¾ *.

- Review of the Owen/Bret Hart Brother’s feud. This feud worked SO well. The younger brother wants the older one, the older and wiser Hart won’t fight his own brother. They finally reconcile, only for Owen to snap thinking Bret was a selfish prick, and kicked his bad knee out. Bret agrees to meet him at WrestleMania X, and after a 5-star match, Owen PINS Bret. Later that night Bret wins his 2nd WWF title from the “unbeatable” Yokozuna, as Owen stands in shock. Then, at King of the Ring, Owen wins the tourney, again following his brother (Bret wins 1993), to establish himself as a contender. Also at KOTR, Bret faces Diesel, and brought Jim Neidhart in to watch his back, and Jim ends up costing him the match by DQ, saving the title to make sure Owen would get it. This all leads to SummerSlam, in the steel cage so no one gets in, and no one gets out. GREAT FEUD!

- We then go ringside, as they build the match EVEN MORE, as Vince and Jerry speak with the Hart Family who are all at ringside. They all hope that both come out okay, but the newly returned Davey Boy Smith hopes Bret kicks some ass, while Jim Neidhart say’s Owen’s walking out WWF champion.

- They then build EVEN MORE as Todd talks with Bret, and say’s he’s just getting over strep throat. Did he really have it, or was it just an angle?

- WWF Title, Main Event, Steel Cage Match: Bret Hart vs. Owen Hart: After a great entrance for both, Owen jumps Bret to start, and beats him from end to end in the cage. He then does a 10-punch count in the corner yelling “he’s NOTHING to me!” Bret comes back with an atomic drop, and a clothesline. They exchange some blows, with neither really winning, as Owen won’t quit. Bret gets a DDT though, and drops a leg. He starts to climb, but Owen pulls him down, and enzuguri’s him. He climbs up, and Bret thwarts the effort, side suplexing him off, knocking both out. Bret crawls to the door, but Owen holds the foot, and drags him back. He posts Bret in the corner, but Bret comes back with a great bulldog. He crawls out again, but Owen stops it, and lunges, and Bret does the same, and they repeat that a couple times. Fun sequence keeping the crowd really into it. Bret finally gets him down, and drops an elbow. He climbs, but Owen slams him off. Owen climbs himself, as the crowd has a heart attack, but Bret BARELY catches him. A great characteristic about this match, is that every escape is THAT close, getting the crowd really jacked. They brawl atop the cage, with Owen knocking him off, and hitting a sweet missile dropkick. Owen nearly escapes again, but Bret comes up, and they brawl at the very top. Bret wins that exchange, bashing him to the cage, with Owen falling off. Back down on the mat, and Bret backdrops him off a piledriver attempt. Good one too. They do a criss cross sequence into a double KO spot. Owen semi-recovers first, and crawls for the door, but the Hitman stops the effort. Bret tries to climb out, and gets ¾ the way, when Owen catches the ankle, and drags Bret into crotching himself, getting a loud “ohhhh” from the fans. He tries to escape out the door, and Bret barely stops it, and hits a low blow. He goes to the top rope, and goes for a big elbow, but Owen moves. HE goes ¾ the way now, and actually almost makes it out, but Bret stops by grabbing the hair, and slamming him in. Bret IMMEDIATELY goes over the top, but Owen fallaway slams him off, in a great spot. Owen is just about out, when Bret makes it up, but Owen wins the exchange, and both are down. Bret is over the top, and half down, when Owen catches him. The crowd went CRAZY when Bret almost escaped. Owen with a side super-superplex from the cage. Owen takes over with a piledriver, but both are so battered Owen can barely climb. He does make it most of the way though, giving the crowd a heart attack, when he decks Bret off, then falls getting crotched. Bret crawls to the door, and is half out when the King of Harts grabs an ankle. Bret won’t quit however, and gets ¾ out, but Owen won’t quit either. They wrestle/brawl on the mat, and Owen almost slides out. This match rules six ways from Sunday! Bret slingshots him to the cage, as the crowd is absolutely RABID at this point. Bret teases yet another escape, and Owen makes the save. Bret climbs again, and Owen drags him in by the hair, and hits his spin kick. He very slowly climbs out, and is INCHES from winning when Bret gets him in. They trade punches on the top, and Bret kicks his brother off, and Owen narrowly stops Bret’s escape. Owen works him over on the mat, and another double KO spot follows. Owen recovers first, and is gonna win, when Bret climbs up and super-superplex from the cage. That spot ROCKED! I mean, whoa! Both guys are DEAD now, and Bret can barely get to a sitting position. He crawls to the door, and Owen stops it with mere SECONDS to spare. He drags Bret mid-ring and hooks the Sharpshooter! Crowd is in shock as they see a new champ. Bret reverses, however, getting Chicago into a frenzy. He lets off and climbs over the top, when Owen lunges (in a single motion mind you) to the top of the cage, and pulls him off. Owen climbs now too, and Bret follows up, and both men are climbing down the side. Bret hammers him to the side of the cage, and Owen gets into a Tree of Woe type position on the cage, and Bret leaps down for the win at 32:17. However, it’s not over as Jim Neidhart jumps the rail, clotheslines Bulldog over the railing too, and then he and Owen take Bret in and kill him, with the door padlocked shut. The whole Hart Family tries to get in, but Owen the Jim keep them at bay, and continue to kill Bret. Eventually Davey takes his shirt off (making him stronger) and now they get in, running the heels off. GREAT FEUD, and a great match to add to it. The near escapes, and general feel of this match RULED! The match itself is about 4 ¾ *’s, but the angle leading to it, and the angle following add an extra ¼ *, giving it a full *****.

- Backstage Owen and Jim yell at the Hart Family, and proclaim victory.

- Video recap of the ‘Taker vs. ‘Taker feud. Actually pretty interestingly done, albeit really stupid.

- “Main Event:” The Undertaker vs. The Undertaker: Yeah, a ***** classic, and now this. I mean, who the hell needs this match? The entrances take an hour here, as DiBiase comes out first, then calls down his ‘Taker. Then Paul comes down alone, calls out a casket, takes an urn out, flashes it around, and his ‘Taker comes out. Pretty boring to sit through. They stall FOREVER to start, and then trade punches. Criss cross sequence goes no where, and the fake UT no sells a boot to the face. UT suplexes the Faker, and he sits up. ‘Taker controls, and tosses him to the floor. The Faker gets a stunner, but UT comes back, and hits the ropewalk forearm. They trade more shots, as the crowd is GONE, which Vince explains by saying “they are in awe.” Really big crowd though. UT takes a “bump” to the floor, and Brian Lee (the fake UT/Chainz in later years) hammers away. He hits a chokeslam, and taunts him, which makes the real UT sit up. He gets him up for (and hits) the tombstone to counter that vicious sit up spot, but UT (ever the workrate freak) sits up again! ‘Faker tries again, but UT reverses and hits his own tombstone. He picks him up, and does it again, and then one more time for the three count at 8:57, getting a big pop. TERRIBLE match though, - **** ¼. The real UT then tosses the Underfaker into the casket, and kneels down to the power of the urn. Yeah, whatever. (Such a weird turnaround in that you could always count on an Undertaker match to ruin a perfectly good show during the 90s, and today he’s sometimes the only thing saving shows. Who would have ever thought the guy would age like fine wine?)

- Bottom Line: Well, this show is pretty damn good … up until the last match. I mean, the opener was fun, the IC and Women’s title matches were good, there were two decent enough matches, and then the TREMENDOUS cage match. That alone is a high recommendation, but the UT/UT match sucks A LOT! It takes it from a high recommendation to just a recommendation. But still, the show rocks.

Recommended.

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