- The HITMAN383 Rant for WWF WrestleMania VI. This is the
one that features the first Hogan/Warrior SUPER main event, and is held in the
jam-packed Skydome. One of my favorite shows in the mark days, but lets see how
it fares in the rant!
- BTW, I use this system: ***** - Excellent, **** - Great,
*** - Good, **- Okay, * - Decent, DUD - Awful.
- Live from Toronto,
Canada (in the
JAM PACKED Skydome with over 65,000 fans!).
- Your Hosts are Gorilla Monsoon and Jesse Ventura, one of
my favorite teams ever.
- Just a side note: in the crowd for this? Edge and
Christian! As kids!
- Opening Match: Koko B. Ware vs. Rick Martel: What
an enthralling choice for an opener. Martel attacks to start, but gets caught
with a bodypress for two, and Ware hits a series of dropkicks to big pops. I
love hot crowds! Koko hits a backdrop, and knocks Rick to the floor! He
slingshots him back in, but misses a shoulderblock allowing the Model to toss
him to the outside. Back in with a suplex for two, and Rick does more clubbing
than Kevin Nash for five minutes. He tries to hook the Boston Crab, but Koko fights
it and makes the ropes before Rick can hook it. Martel tries to ram him to the
corner, but Ware makes the Tatanka comeback (Dancing) with some
crappy headbutts for two. He misses a crossbody, and Martel easily hooks the
Boston Crab now for the win at 5:18. Eh, nothing match. ¼*.
- Gene talks with the Colossal Connection, who don’t say
anything of note. The only reason I mention it is because the belts look like
crap at this point. Not good, Reggie. (I’d say that’s less Reggie Parks’ fault
than the wrestlers for abusing the fuck out of them, but whatever) They’d
have newer, better ones by SummerSlam though.
- WWF Tag Team Title Match: The Colossal Connection vs.
Demolition: The Connection is Andre the Giant and Haku (Meng), for those
that don’t know. I wonder if E&C were thinking about being WWF champions
themselves back then? Big pop for the Demos too. The heels attack from behind,
but the Demos quickly get control and Smash works on Haku. Why is this title
match so early on? They fight over a backslide, which Smash wins, getting a two
count (saved by Andre). The Giant was REALLY bad at this point, at the worst in
his whole career. It’s understandable too; this is like his last major match,
EVER! Haku gets control, and does the usual choking on Ax, who plays Ricky
Morton. The Connection are like the worst WWF Tag Champions ever! I mean worse
than the Godwinns, the Bodydonnas and the Smoking Gunns COMBINED! (Eh,
I mean Andre was broken down, but this was a good last hurrah for him, and
certainly worked from a marks perspective) Shoulder breaker gets two, and Haku gets a
foot to the face off a charge. Hot tag to Smash, and he backdrops Haku to the
heavens! Andre comes in for the first time, but the Demos clothesline him into
the corner! Damn this crowd is hot now! Andre grabs Smash, and holds him for
Haku to superkick, but he moves and Andre takes the shot getting tied up in the
ropes! It’s easy pickings for the Demos now, who hit the Decapitator on Haku
for the titles at 9:11, to a MAJOR pop! Match was crap. DUD. Afterwards, heel
manager Bobby Heenan comes in and lays into Andre for not saving Haku, but
makes the mistake of slapping the Giant. Uh-Oh! Andre takes Bobby and Haku out,
and gets some MONSTER pops in his last great WrestleMania moment. Great stuff!
- Let me just say, this is one of the best crowds EVER!
- Hercules vs. Earthquake: Oh boy! You know, I LOVE
those little carts that carried the wrestlers to the ring in the Dome ‘Mania’s
like III & VI. Hopefully, ‘Mania XVII (This was likely written in late 2000) will
have them too! (And sadly it did not) Earthquake
misses a charge to start, and Herc hammers away, prompting the ‘Quake to bail.
Both of these guys are like the least tan people EVER! Test of Strength comes
next, which Earthquake easily wins, but Hercules lays in with a series of
clotheslines knocking the big guy down! He dumbly tries a backbreaker, so the
‘Quake calmly knocks him over for some elbow drops just for being a dumb ass.
He hits the earthquake (butt splash) shortly after for the pin at 4:37.
Nothing. DUD.
- Mr. Perfect vs. Brutus Beefcake: A little brawl to
start, won by Beefcake, and Perfect oversells a punch, flying to the floor. If
I ever become a wrestler, I wanna wrestle Hennig. He sells so beautifully.
Brutus works on the back, tossing him to the corner a couple times with Perfect
overselling at every turn. The Genius distracts Beefcake, allowing Hennig to
get his metal scroll and bash Beefcake’s brains in. Curt controls for a while
now, doing nothing of interest except taunting the Barber. Eventually, Beefcake
trips him up and slingshots him into the metal post and gets the pin at 7:08,
getting a BIG pop from this GIGANTIC crowd. The match was nothing. Call it ½*
for Perfect’s overselling. Afterwards, the Genius gets a hair cut. (The
funny part is, in the HITMAN383 days I tended to note EVERYTHING, but somehow
failed to mention that this was Perfect’s first televised loss, and the
official end of his perfect streak. Also, Brutus Beefcake’s shoot interview is
worth checking out for the story of cutting Poffo’s hair at this show for alone)
- Roddy Piper gives a crazy, rambling interview, ranting on
Bad News Brown. I love Piper.
- Bad News Brown vs. Rowdy Roddy Piper: This is the
famous moment when Piper painted half his body black, and looks like the
moon-cookie from Seinfeld. Before it gets underway, Piper does a few little
choice dances to make sure to offend not only Bad News, but the crowd. Gotta
love Piper. Big ass brawl to start … and not really just to start, but for the
whole match. News controls, but rams Piper’s head to the buckle, getting some
no selling. It doesn’t go anywhere, however, as News hooks a nerve hold. It’s a
freakin’ BRAWL, who the hell goes to a nerve hold? He lets off and chokes Piper
down to a two count, and gets an elbow for two. Piper comes back and goes crazy
on him with a series of punches (which Bad News can’t sell correctly), but News
pokes the eyes. He exposes the turnbuckle, but Piper rams HIM into it instead,
and pulls out a white glove. He puts it on and does some punches. Okay. The
brawl spills outside, and it goes to a double count-out at 6:44. Not a BORING
match, but still a bad match. DUD.
- Steve Allen has a piano in the bathroom, and is with the
Bolsheviks to sing the Soviet Anthem. It doesn’t work out, however, as someone
flushes the toilet, and Allen runs away. It was pretty funny to see, actually.
- The Hart Foundation vs. The Bolsheviks: The
Russians want to sing the Soviet Anthem beforehand, and mid-way through the
Harts attack and hit the Hart Attack on Boris for the quick win at: 25. As long
as the Hogan title win at WrestleMania IX. DUD, but cute.
- WrestleMania VII promo, which will be LIVE from the LA
Memorial Coliseum. Sure it will. Of course, it ended up being in the much
smaller Sports Arena, but oh well. This would be the start of a yearlong add
campaign to try to get 100,000 people in the Coliseum. It failed. Reminds me of
a certain add campaign of today, for some Dome event early next year. (Of
course, they ended up filling the stadium AND putting on one of their most well
received shows ever, but yeah, in late 2000 (before WrestleMania did a stadium
every year, and when they hadn’t since 1992) there were still plenty of doubts
as to whether they would sell out or not)
- The Barbarian vs. Tito Santana: Santana hammers
away to start, and the Barbarian bails to consult with Bobby Heenan. Tito gets
a high cross body for two, and works the headlock. Tito then pulls a Rey
Mysterio Jr., as Barbarian goes for a powerbomb, but he pounds his way down for
a two count. Tito runs into the Barbarians foot off an Irish whip, and the big
guy hits a shoulder breaker. He misses an elbow though, so Tito takes him down
with some dropkicks. He hits the flying forearm, and has him, but Heenan puts
Barb’s foot on the ropes. The big guy heads up top, and hits a beautiful flying
clothesline to take Santana’s head off for the win at 4:32. The crowd was dead
for the whole thing, except for the sweet flying clothesline, which got a good
pop. Call it ¼*. The fact that the Barbarian is in a better match than SAVAGE
tonight, scares me.
- Dusty Rhodes interview.
The fat ass redneck lets Savage know that he has the “crown jewel,” which
becomes important later. Dusty is such a freakin’ red neck.
- Mixed Tag Team Match: Randy Savage and Sherri vs. Dusty
Rhodes and Sapphire: What a contrast. One
side has a GREAT wrestler, and a good female wrestler, while the other has two
TERRIBLE wrestlers. I’ll let you guys guess which is which. The Polka-cow also
makes good on his promise of the “crown jewel” by bringing out Savage’s former
valet Liz. Of course, she still has Savage’s music, but either way. (Yeah,
that was kinda weird. At least play Dusty’s music if you don’t want to bother
coming up with something else) Savage starts with Rhodes,
and they mess around for a bit playing the comedy match factor with Sherri and
Savage as two bumbling heels. Dusty tags, so Sherri has to come in. Remember
that it’s 1990 and man vs. woman wasn’t something that happened in mixed tags
like today. (And of course, now in the PG-era, it’s went back the other way again) Sapphire uses her ass to knock around the
Queen, and then Dusty gets in to beat on Savage. More bumbling heel-ness
follows. Macho gets the advantage and dumps Dusty out, where he hits a SWEET
double ax from the top. He then follows with another, redeeming this match a
little bit. Back in, Savage gets the scepter and nails Rhodes
with it from the top. Sherri splashes Dust for two, and then Rhodes
rams her head with the King’s. He uses his favorite part, the elbow, to work
over Savage, and Sapphire hits something slightly resembling a DDT for two on
Sherri, and then Liz distracts the Queen long enough for Sapphire to roll her
up for the pin at 7:28. Bad match, DUD. The faces then beat Too Cool to the
boat by ten years, and have a dance off.
- WrestleMania VII promo number II! Give the WWF credit,
they tried.
- Gorilla and Jesse are with Rona Barrett, who says she has
some dirt on the Body. She is also REALLY short, and both guys look like Andre
the Giant next to her.
- A Demolition interview is next. The Demo’s are still all
covered in sweat, even though their match was like an hour ago. Obviously this
was pre-taped. (Or, they’re just really, really sweaty)
- Hulk Hogan also gets interview time and gives a truly
crazy, nutty interview saying that if the Warrior wants to live forever, than
during the match he needs to “breath his last breath into Hulk’s body” and
Hogan will give him salvation. What the hell?
- Warrior follows with his own crazy interview, and say’s
that he’ll take the beliefs of Hogan and the Hulk-A-Maniacs and make them one
with his. He’s also come to “do no one no harm.” Well, we never said he was an
English professor. Both these guys are truly nuts, but their intensity is
unmatched to this day, which made the match/feud. (Two of the greatest interviews
ever)
- The Orient Express vs. The Rockers: Marty starts
with Tanaka, and Marty takes a solid elbow to the head. The Rocker’s quickly
comeback with a powerslam on Tanaka, and a double body block to the floor, on
both guys. Crowd likes that. Back to Marty/Tanaka, and Jannetty takes a fall to
the outside for some cheating by Fuji.
Back in, Sato hits some crappy chops, but Marty tags and Tanaka takes a double
superkick. Shawn hits a backdrop, and Sato tags back in. He doesn’t fare too
well, however, getting a neckbreaker. He comes back, and hits a gutwrench
gutbuster, and tags. Tanaka catches him with a big flying forearm and tags
again. Gotta dig the quick tags! Sato does a nerve hold, further driving
Michaels into the Ricky Morton role. Shawn hits a big clothesline to comeback,
and makes the hot tag to Marty. Marty kills both guys, and catches Tanaka with
a flying back elbow for two. Both faces dropkick Sato out, and hit a double
backdrop on Tanaka. They both head to the top, and go to dive, but Fuji distracts Marty, and
Jannetty follows him out. He gets some powder in the face for his troubles, and
gets counted out at 7:38 as a result. Bad ending, to an okay match. ** ¼.
- Dino Bravo vs. Jim Duggan: Duggan brings the
American Flag with him (in CANADA),
which doesn’t earn him the face pop it would in the States. Oh well, next year
Jim … at the All-American one. Jesse even makes fun of him for it. Monsoon
brings up the fact that Earthquake (Bravo’s henchmen) doesn’t have a manager’s
license and can’t be at ringside for this. I miss little points like that in
wresting. Today, ANYONE can come down to ringside, and there isn’t even TALK of
licenses and such. Shows how much the business has changed in 10 years. Duggan
does some hammering, and knocks Bravo to the outside with a clothesline. He comes
back in, and Duggan hits the ten punch count (but can’t count that high and
only goes to six) so Bravo kills him for being a doof. Dino chokes him out, and
Earthquake gets his cheep shots in. Duggan makes the comeback, and hits a
series of clotheslines, but Earthquake stops the 3-point stance, allowing Jimmy
Hart to toss the 2X4 in to Dino. It backfires, however, as Duggan gets it and
nails Bravo for the easy pin at 4:13. Afterwards, Earthquake kills Duggan with
3 Earthquake splashes, building to his big heel push. Match sucked, of course.
DUD.
- Jake the Snake gives an interview about his upcoming match
with Ted DiBiase. Jake may be a bum today, but his interviews back in the day
are unmatched. Truly great.
- Million Dollar Belt Match: Ted DiBiase vs. Jake
Roberts: Brawl to start, and a criss cross leads to a knee by Jake, and
DiBiase bails. He comes back in, and Jake takes it to him, continually trying
for the DDT, but Ted keeps slipping away, pissing Jake off more and more. He
goes to work on the arm, and dumps DiBiase to the outside. Back in, Ted hits an
elbow, and tosses Jake viciously into the corner when Jake charges. DiBiase
hooks a long front facelock, and the crowd does the wave, which is kinda cool
to see at a wrestling show. Jesse loves it, too. (I doubt Vince did, though)
Ted hits a piledriver, and the crowd gets back to the match, rather than the
wave. He covers for two, but Jake rolls him up for his own two count. He hooks
the Dream on Roberts, which gives everyone a major heart attack, but Jake makes
the ropes. Ted dives off the 2nd rope, and Jake hits a shot to the gut, but
sadly he doesn’t do his somersault sell of it. Backdrop by Roberts, and the
crowd chants “DDT.” He hits his short-arm clothesline and calls for the DDT,
but Ted won’t go. It spills outside, and Jake gets his head knocked to the post
so Teddy wins by count-out at 11:53. Crowd was very hot through it all (What?),
but the match was only okay. **. Jake comes back in, however, and takes DiBiase
out with the DDT and gives Ted’s $100 bills out to the fans at ringside. Hey,
Jake, hang on to it. You can buy booze.
- Akeem vs. The Big Bossman: Funny thing I read
recently, Akeem was created to knock Dusty Rhodes who was always “acting black”
despite being a white boy. That’s Akeem’s gimmick right there. He does have Slick,
however, and that music make up for anything. BTW, these guys were Tag
Partner’s and split up because Bossman wouldn’t take DiBiase’s money, so this
is the blow off. As Bossman makes his entrance, Ted DiBiase pops up from under
the ring, and gives him an ass kicking, leaving him easy pickings for Akeem.
Akeem easily clobbers him around the ring, but Bossman comes back with some
cross corner whips and a clothesline. He catches him with a quick Bossman Slam
for three at 1:51. Well, that was quick. Don’t get me wrong, that’s a GOOD
thing. Still, a DUD.
- Sean Mooney is in the crowd and gives one of the funniest
interview segments I’ve ever seen. First he finds a little boy in the crowd,
with a New York
accent, and the kid gets majority pissed, and reels insults at Rhythm and
Blues. Too funny. He then strolls over to Mary Tyler Moore, who knows NOTHING
about wrestling … and well, I’ll just transcribe it:
Sean: Coming up, we’re going to hear Rhythm and Blues … I’m
sure you have all the Honey Tonk Man’s albums.
Mary: Uh… Yeah.
Sean: How about The Honey Tonk Man’s performance partner
Greg “The Hammer” Valentine?
Mary (nervously): How about him!
Sean: Now, who would you say the Honey Tonk Man reminds you
of? Elvis? (Obviously I wasn’t too careful about proof-reading this one)
Mary (trying to get this over with): ….. sure.
Sean: Who does Greg Valentine remind you of?
Mary (not knowing what to answer): …. Elvis.
- This was just too funny. The fact that Mary knew NOTHING,
and that Sean played such a straight man combined had me on the floor. It’s
just something you have to see to appreciate. (This was so embarrassingly bad
that they cut it out of the Anthology DVDs)
- Diamond Dallas Page drives Rhythm and Blues to the ring in
a Pink Cadillac to perform a song. DDP you ask? Yes, DDP. See, Page owned a
nightclub in Florida
called “Norma Jean’s” at the time, and the place had a big Pink Caddy. So, the
WWF rented it out for this show, and Page does the driving. Anyway, the song
really, really sucks. I mean, whose idea was it to have Honey sing? I mean, the
man CANNOT sing. Afterwards, however, the Bushwhacker’s pop out and destroy their
guitars. I want a blow off NOW!! How could they NOT fill the Coliseum the next
year with a chance of seeing Rhythm and Blues vs. The Bushwhackers? What has
the world come to?
- Yet another WrestleMania VII promo. Notice how they show
it after the Honey Tonk Man performance? They KNOW that the Whackers/R&B
match is ULTRA marketable.
- Finkel announces the official attendance tonight at
67,678! It is a damn big crowd, no doubt about it! But you KNOW they’ll break
that at WrestleMania VII! R&B/Bushwhacker’s! GET YOUR TICKETS NOW!
- Rick Rude vs. Jimmy Snuka: This is right before the
main event because the WWF was building up Rude for a main event run at
SummerSlam. Yeah, because we all know that beating Jimmy Snuka is what TRULY
makes a champion. Steve Allen also joins the commentators for this, and makes
some crappy ass jokes. Rude jumps him to start, but misses a big dropkick, and
Snuka hammers away. He drops him with a couple backdrops (I love when Rude
takes a backdrop. He does it greatly.), then mocks his poses. They go at it a
bit more, and Rude hits a snap suplex, and a backdrop of his own. Criss cross
leads to a Superfly shoulderblock, and he heads up stairs. He misses (but lands
on his feet), then slams Rude. He goes to the 2nd rope, and misses a head butt
(landing on his head, not his feet this time), and takes a Rude Awakening to
give Rude the win at 3:50. Decent enough, actually. * ¼.
- Main Event, WWF Title & WWF Intercontinental Title
Match: Hulk Hogan vs. The Ultimate Warrior: Yes, it’s THAT match, with the
crazy 50/50 crowd! Like I said earlier, everyone rides little carts to the
ring, but these guys decide to go on foot. The problem? Warrior runs. The isle
is HUGE, and Warrior decides to totally blow up on the way to the ring. On
second listen, Hogan’s pop IS quite bigger than Warrior’s, so I question the
decision to take the gold off him here. I mean, when a guy comes out to “I am a
Real American” in Toronto,
and blows the roof off, you know he’s something special. (Nah, taking the belt off of him
was the right move. They had to try Warrior, or we’d all be pissing and moaning
and fantasy booking about it to this day) The crowd is super pumped for this, too, which
helps make the match is many ways. They stare eachother down to start, and then
trade shoves (Hulk’s shoves get a bigger pop, BTW), and I keep thinking that
this crowd is absolutely super electric. I mean, whoa. They do a test of
strength next, as I realize it’s been two minutes, and nothing worthwhile has
happened. But in this match, does it really matter? It’s so entertaining
anyway! (They should have just had them play chess (or checkers… it’s Warrior)
as an experiment to see how long they could sustain that crowd noise) Warrior gets Hogan to his knees off the hold,
but Hulk fights back, and gets Warrior down. I can’t comment enough on how
MASSIVE the crowd heat is here. Even for a freakin’ Test of Strength. Hogan
sweeps his legs out, and hits a quick elbow for two. They trade shoulderblocks,
and a big criss cross leads to a Hogan slam with massive heat. Another criss
cross, and Warrior slams him now, then clotheslines him to the floor, where
Hogan hurts his knee. Warrior doesn’t give half a crap, however, and goes out
to kick at it. That’s just COLD! He puts the Hulkster back in, and keeps
kicking the knee, but Hogan gets all Superman on his ass, and clotheslines him
into the corner for a ten-punch count (only going to eight though). A series of
elbows heads to a Hogan two count, and he hooks a front facelock into a small
package for another two. Hogan clotheslines him for two, and hits a backbreaker
for two. Gee, Hogan’s going through the whole moveset tonight! He gets tired of
that workrate stuff, however, and goes to a chinlock (which the crowd STILL
remains hot for). He lets off and hits a big side suplex for two, and goes back
to the chinlock. Warrior breaks out with some elbows to the mid-section, and a
criss cross leads to a double clothesline, leaving both guys out. They get up
at about the same time, but Warrior does the rope-shaking comeback, and no
sells Hogan’s stuff (fun to see), and then clotheslines the life out of the
Hulkster! He chops, and does some cross corner whips, and Hogan is gone. Snap
suplex (!) by Warrior for two, and he clasps on a bear hug. Hogan fades away,
but the arm only drops twice, so he comes back. I never understood that spot. A
criss cross leads to a ref. bump, and Warrior goes to the top (!) for a double
ax, and then does it again! Hogan is stunned, and Warrior goes for his flying
shoulderblock, but Hogan moves and Warrior hits hard. Hogan covers, having the
win, but the ref. is gone! The crowd doesn’t like that. Jim wakes up, and side
suplexes him for three, but again, there’s no ref. Earl finally crawls over and
makes a big dramatic two count, getting the crowd even MORE pumped. Hogan rolls
him up for a dramatic two of his own, and then elbows him to the floor.
Slugfest develops out there, and Hogan eats post. Back in, Warrior hits the
Gorilla Press (Hogan … bumping?), and hits the splash, but it only gets two!!
Hogan Hulk’s Up, and does his usual no-sell routine (fun to see Warrior’s stuff
no sold, that’s for sure), but he misses the big leg, which allows the Warrior
an easy splash for the win at 22:47. WOW! Afterwards, Earl screws up by giving
Warrior the WWF title (the plan was to have Hogan hand it to him), but the
camera quickly cuts away, so it’s not totally ruined. Hogan goes out, gets the
belt, and then gives it to the Warrior himself, which gets a gigantic pop. He
rides out on the mini carts (looking damn pissed to not have the glory), and
Warrior gets the major fireworks treatment to big pops.
- The Match itself is hard to rate … so I won’t. Calm down,
calm down … I’m just kidding. Anyway, in terms of the moves done, had these
exact set of moves been done, in a Steve Williams vs. Kevin Sullivan match, for
instance, I’d have to call it at about ** ½. However, this match just WORKS.
Hogan and Warrior, along with a SUPER crowd, and the overall bigness and
historical significance of this one match, MAKE IT WORK. So, call it, ****.
Truly a work of art, when a ** ½ match reaches ****.
- Bottom Line: This is a hard show to call. Sitting
back and watching it, as a fan, I would easily recommend this. The undercard
and mid-card may suck, but it just FEELS fun, with a super hot crowd all night,
and moves along at a non-plodding pace, with a big time main event at the end.
However, when you sit and review this thing, you definitely get a different
perspective of what this show really is. From a reviewers POV, this is a pretty
bad card, with the main event being the only worthwhile thing.
- Kind of how, for example, WCW Beach Blast 1992 had a more
solid card than this, but I’d still recommend this one 10 times more than that.
It’s the atmosphere that separates them. Beach Blast’s was bad … this one was
great.
- But, since you’re probably just gonna WATCH it and not
REVIEW it, I’ll say Mildly Recommended.
No comments:
Post a Comment
Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.