Saturday, January 25, 2014

HITMAN383 Rant for WWF WrestleMania X



- The HITMAN383 Rant for WWF WrestleMania X! A while back in my rant for NWA Great American Bash 1989, I commented that I felt (clashing with the popular opinion) that it isn’t the greatest PPV ever, but that WM X is. This is the one you want for great wrestling value, sports entertainment, a feeling that the show is legendary, the historical value of it, and all around entertainment.

- It’s also sort of a follow-up rant to SummerSlam ’98 (the OTHER big MSG PPV) where I commented on the HHH/Rock ladder match not being on the level of the Michaels/Razor version, and how much better the one at WrestleMania X was.

- And even more stuff about this rant: It was my first show as a mark, where I first found Bret Hart as my favorite wrestler and cemented that forever. I mean, I was damn lucky to start watching around Royal Rumble ’94, and get the big build to WM and then see it. I miss 1994, and being a mark…


- BTW, I use this system: ***** - Excellent **** - Great *** - Good **- Okay * - Decent DUD - Awful.

- Live from New York, New York (in the Garden).

- Your Hosts are Vince McMahon and Jerry Lawler.

- Great opening montage to start showing some highlights of WrestleMania I, and the superstars in this year’s version. This all leads to WRESTLEMANIA X, “Ten Years in the Making!”

- Vince introduces Johnny B. Ba … uh, I mean Little Richard to sing America the Beautiful to a big ass pop.

- Opening Match: Bret Hart vs. Owen Hart: See, the story here is that Owen feels he’s in Bret’s shadow, and wants to fight him, but Bret wants no part of it at first. They finally re-unite, to fight the Quebecers for the Tag Belts at the Rumble, but when Bret gets injured and loses the match for the team, Owen kicks his bad knee out. Later that night, Bret co-wins the Royal Rumble with Lex Luger, therefore they both get title shots at WM. On RAW they do a coin toss, which Luger wins, so Lex fights WWF champion Yokozuna first, while Bret meets Owen as “suitable competition” and fights the winner of the first title match in the last bout. Get it? Got it? GOOD! They start off with a tie up and go to a clean break, which Owen takes as a victory of some sort. Owen draws HUGE heel heat, BTW. They wrestle around on the mat, and Bret outsmarts Owen dumping him to the floor, prompting Owen to slap his teeth out. More mat based stuff, which Bret wins, so Owen cheats to get the advantage, yet Bret keeps coming back, doing it clean every time. Bret clotheslines him to the floor, and then tosses him back in for more ass kicking, and rolls him up for a two count. Crucifix for two. Owen comes back and stomps away, then dumps him to the outside and posts him. Backbreaker leads to the Camel Clutch, but Bret powers out, and starts a comeback, but Owen belly to bellies him for two. Springboard bodyblock by Owen rolled through for two, and he goes into a sort of half STF. Owen tries a slam, but can’t do it, and Bret gets two. Owen with a great bridging German suplex for two, and drops a leg on the neck for another. Bret blocks a suplex, and gets a small package for two. European uppercut by Owen, and he gets a tombstone. Upstairs he goes, but misses a big splash. Bret with a surprise atomic drop, and a clothesline for two. Russian Leg Sweep for two. Backbreaker into the 2nd rope elbow gets two. Owen then gets an enzuguri out of nowhere, and tries for the Sharpshooter. He doesn’t get it though, and bails so Bret hits a slingshot dive, but hurts his bad knee. Back in, and Owen works the knee, showing no mercy, and doing every move he knows on it. Bret gets an enzuguri of his own, and posts Owen. Leg drop (with the bad leg, so it does damage to him too) gets two. See the psychology? Bulldog for two. Sweet ass piledriver for two. Superplex for a dramatic two. He gets a go-behind, but Owen does the Ric Flair low blow, and hooks the Sharpshooter. Bret reverses, but Owen’s in the ropes so it breaks. He still sells the knee injury, BTW. He pounds him to the corner, and tries a victory roll, but Owen stops it half way and gets three at 20:21! WHAT A MATCH! *****, and the best opener ever … period. Owen then walks over to the shocked Bret Hart, shows him three fingers, and leaves to big heel heat and a shocked crowd. (Still one of my favorite matches, ever)

- Todd talks with Owen backstage, who sounds like Chris Jericho, and cuts a great promo. BTW, what’s that white gook on the side of Owen’s mouth?

- “WrestleMania Moment.” These went down all night, as they showed some of the shows great history. The WM II moment is a look at the celebs and the battle royal. (These were awesome, and a PERFECT way to get new fans like me excited)

- Mixed Tag Team Match: Bam Bam Bigalow and Luna vs. Doink and Dink: The president of the hair club for men introduces his latest creation: The Fink. So I guess the Finkel hair track for this show is the most hair he’s had … EVER! Bam Bam jumps Doink to start, and kicks major league ass. Butt splash misses, and Doink, gets an arm bar for a bit. Dink tags in, and wants Bam Bam, but Luna has to come in. Dink out runs her, but she eventually catches him and does the Nash rope choke spot. She tries a second, and misses, so Dink hits an elbow for two. He misses a top rope double ax, and Luna slams him. She goes up top, and misses a sweet ass splash, and both tag out. Bam Bam dumps Doink to the floor early in, so Dink comes in and challenges Bigalow, and both heels try to get him, but miss. Doink comes back in, but a sunset flip attempt gets him butt splashed. He gets a jumping DDT to comeback, but misses the Whoopee Cushion, and Bam Bam bounces off the ropes, knocking little Dink off. He hits a cross body for two, and heads up for the flying headbutt, getting three at 6:09. Afterwards, Dink comes back in and challenges Bigalow, so he and Luna kick his ass. Bad spot: Both heels go for a splash on Dink (which was supposed to miss), but Dink only moves out of Bam Bam’s way, and Luna lands on him. She quickly moves him out from under her and acts like she missed. Well that was stupid. The match was decent, * ¼.

- “Bill Clinton” arrives. The quotes because it’s obviously an impersonator.

- “WrestleMania Moment:” WrestleMania III. We look at the mammoth crowd, and the legendary staredown between Hulk Hogan and Andre the Giant.

- Falls Count Anywhere Match: Randy Savage vs. Crush: This was a pretty big feud at the time, being built for months and months. See, late in 1993 Crush got butt splashed by Yokozuna on RAW and was seriously hurt, and his friend at the time (Savage) was sitting and doing commentary, but didn’t stop the assault by Yoko, so Crush is pissed. After his stay in the hospital, he came back out, as a heel, with Mr. Fuji as his manager. Anyway, Savage jumps him in the isle, but it backfires and Crush slams him to the railing face first, and pins him. That means Savage has 60 seconds to get back to the ring, or lose. He just about gets back, when Fuji nails him, with ten seconds left, but Savage makes it (getting a BIG pop.) Crush waists no time to kick more ass, and ties him in the tree of woe for some vicious body shots. As the ref. gets Randy out, Crush gets some salt, but Savage shoves it in Crush’s eyes, and elbows him down. Double ax hits, and he slams him. The big elbow spells doom, and he dumps Crush out, and pins him on the floor. Crush is OUT however, and does not look to make it back. 30 second mark, and he’s still dead, so Fuji dumps water on him to wake him up, and he gets in with 2 seconds left. Savage controls for a bit, but Crush backdrops him to the floor. He follows out and pounds, but Macho rams him to the post, and then to the steps. Savage dumps him into the crowd, but Crush superkicks him, and tries a piledriver, but gets backdropped. They brawl somewhere backstage, and Savage pins him there. Crush is pretty fresh though, so Savage ties him up to come scaffolding to stop Crush from getting back. It works, and Savage wins to a big pop at 9:49. The match was okay, but the 60 seconds thing ruined the flow a lot. **. I still don’t see why Vince wanted to make Savage nothing but a commentator when he could still pop a crowd, and work a match.

- “WrestleMania Moment:” WrestleMania IV. We watch Savage beating three guys (well, not the whole matches, obviously) and then Gorilla (the voiceover for these Moments) says “to become World Wrestling Federation … CHAMPION” much like the Rock say’s today. (This was originally written in 2000)

- WWF Women’s Title: Alundra Blayze vs. Leilani Kai: How to know when a division is dead: One of the girls in the match was doing this ten years ago. (Pretty par for the course nowadays) Yes, Leilani was in the women’s title match at WrestleMania I, and this is here just to get Blayze over. Time was not kind to her, BTW. Blayze was still pretty good looking at this point, though. Kai kills her to start, and they exchange some two counts. I could care less, BTW. Alundra with a clothesline to comeback, and a snap suplex gets two, and then the German suplex finishes the job at 3:20. Match was okay, but I don’t care for women’s wrestling. **. We also get a look at some veterans at ringside, and noticeable is Moolah with MAE YOUNG! Are they ALWAYS together?

- “WrestleMania Moment:” WrestleMania V. We get a look at Piper’s antics on “Piper’s Pit” that night.

- Shawn Michaels catches up with Rhonda Sheer, but Burt Renoylds interrupts. Can you say DRUNK? If this had happened in real life, I would have decked Burt. He was a total jerk.

- WWF World Tag Team Titles: The Quebecers vs. Men on a Mission: Great, Mabel. Anyway, one of my favorite teams, the Quebecers, jump the big fat ass to start, but get clotheslined. Mo and Pierre go at it, but Mabel hits a big leg. They hit an early version of Too Cool’s “homie elbow,” but Jacques runs in to break it all up. Mo plays Ricky Morton, as the Quebecers do some nice tandem stuff. Double stun gun gets two. Pierre goes to work, but Mo hits a senton to comeback, but it gets stopped. Butt splash misses for the heels, and Mabel tags, and cleans house. Charge misses, and the Quebecers hit a double suplex. Cool spot there. BTW, Raven is ringside for this … albeit in his manager role “Johnny Polo.” They then head up for the Eiffel Tower (or whatever they call that spot) but it only gets two. Heel miscommunication spot leads to Mabel hitting a spin heel kick (he ain’t no Owen), and they hit the “Whoop there it is.” It spills to the floor, where they do it again, and MOM win by CO at 7:41. Match actually DID NOT suck, ** ½.

- “WrestleMania Moment:” WrestleMania VI. We look at Hogan job, and then embraces with Warrior.

- WWF Title Match (#1): Yokozuna vs. Lex Luger: Man, the crowd hates Donnie Wahlberg, don’t they? (His brother is pretty awesome, though) Anyway, he introduces Mr. Perfect as the special ref. for this match, who gets HUGE face heat. Luger does too. They brawl to start, and Luger gets a top rope body press for two. The big elbow gets two. He tries for the bodyslam, but Yoko topples on him, and controls. He then removes the turnbuckle pad, and hits some Japanese Violence, and hooks the nerve hold. Oh great. That lasts for about 5 minutes, and then Lex elbows out, and a criss cross leads to Yoko knocking him over with his gut. Back to the nerve hold. What is with this guy? Two minutes into a match, and he needs a 10-minute rest hold? How the hell did he get a near year long WWF title reign? You know, I bet if they didn’t have to change the ending at the last moment, it would have been another ** ½ affair like SummerSlam, instead of this crap. Because G-D forbid they improvise something interesting. (That was a reference to the (since debunked) rumor that Luger was supposed to pick up the title here, but that the ending was changed because Lex ‘blabbed to a reporter’ in a bar the night before the show, and they didn’t want to break kayfabe) Luger escapes again, and Yoko gets a belly to belly, then tries to hit him to the open buckle, but it backfires. Big ass “USA” chant starts up (Not bigger than Yoko’s ass, though), and Luger hits a ton of clotheslines and slams Yokozuna. The loaded forearm hits, but instead of covering, he beats down the managers and then covers. The place is in a near riot, but Hennig won’t count! Luger questions him (and shoves him), so Perfect DQ’s him at 14:40! Match was pretty terrible, ¾ *. (Yes, this WAS pretty terrible, and in fact it’s a negative star match) A loud bullshit chant starts up, and Luger goes after Hennig, and they have a confrontation backstage. I would have loved to see them wrestle, but Hennig wasn’t geared for a comeback, and that ending was booked on the fly. For those who don’t know, the night before WM X Luger got drunk with some friends, and was bragging about how he is winning the belt. Anyway, the word got out, and in the paper the next morning it reveled the ending to the title match. Needless to say, it was gonna be changed, and Lex had to job. (Again, this has long been debunked. There were plans to have Luger win the title at this show as far back as the summer of 1993, but those pretty much went out the window by the time 1994 rolled around, and certainly after the Royal Rumble) Sad too, because Luger/Hart would have been great, and everyone wanted to see him finally BEAT Yoko. However, I guess it worked out, because Bret would have won anyway, and it kind of builds from WM IX, so I’m not pissed.

- “WrestleMania Moment:” WrestleMania VII. We get a look at the blindfold match between Jake “DRUNK” Roberts and Rick Martel.

- Adam Bomb vs. Earthquake: Before the match, Bomb’s second Harvey Wippleman runs down Finkel, so Howard shoves him down and gets ready to kick ass when Adam Bomb runs in to stop him. Earthquake runs (well…) in, and quickly hits the earthquake to end this “match” at 0:32. DUD. BTW, Adam Bomb is currently Bryan Clarke of Kronic.

- Todd is with Yoko and Cornette, and Jim goes on the pre-main event rant. He’s the best damn ranter in the history of wrestling folks. Without Jim, I don’t think Yoko would have really been WWF champ for that long. ‘Cause Fuji and Yoko aren’t really good mouthpieces.

- “WrestleMania Moment:” WrestleMania VIII. We see the big crowd that night, and the entrance of the Undertaker.

- WWF Intercontinental Title, Ladder Match: Razor Ramon vs. Shawn Michaels: Here we go! Okay, a little run down before we get going. For most of 1993, Shawn Michaels was WWF IC champ, but in the later part of the year, he got into a contract dispute, and the WWF stripped him of the belt. The title was declared vacant, and Razor Ramon won it going over Rick Martel on RAW. By the end of 1993, Shawn was back in the WWF, and came back with the belt he took with him when the left. He declared he was still IC champ, because he never lost it, but Razor was the official champ. After months of squabbling, they have this “unification” match to declare the undisputed Intercontinental champion. Both Shawn and Razor’s IC belts are hung above the ring, and the first to snag BOTH win. This, BTW, is the first major ladder match in WWF history, and quite possibly still the best one. The bell sounds, and they go to a wrestling sequence to start, which Razor wins with a chokeslam. Criss cross leads to a Michaels reverse neckbreaker, and he tosses Ramon to the floor where Diesel gets a cheepshot in. The ref. questions him, and then tosses Diesel out of MSG for bad behavior. (Yes, but did the referee actually see somethin’?) Crowd likes that. Ramon makes a comeback with a series of rights, and a clothesline to the floor. Razor picks up the mat surrounding the ring, exposing the floor, and tries a Razor’s Edge from inside the ring to the exposed floor. It backfires, and Shawn backdrops him to it in a nasty bump. HBK takes the opportunity to get the ladder, but Razor stops the effort and carries the ladder himself, only to have it baseball slided into him. Shawn then does some abuse with the ladder. Shawn makes the climb, but Razor stops it, and tugs his pants down. He retaliates with a “full moon” elbow. Slam by Michaels, and he heads to the top of the ladder, and hits his famous splash off the top. He climbs again, but Razor shoves him off, and Michaels topples into the ropes. Criss cross leads to a double KO spot, and both are DEAD. Shawn recovers first, but gets whipped to the ladder (and Flair flips to the floor in a man-sized bump) for his efforts. The crowd is in a frenzy at this point, and Razor follows outside with the ladder for some punishment. Razor then slingshots him to it, and then it topples back on him. Hard. Nice spot there. Ramon goes in, and climbs (with the crowd going NUTS) so Shawn hits a flying ax handle to knock him off, but the ladder falls on Shawn!! Both guys climb and trade shots, with Razor slamming him off, and toppling down too. Ouch. Ramon climbs, but Shawn dropkicks the ladder, knocking him off, and then pushes the ladder over on him. Criss cross leads to a stiff superkick, and Michaels piledrives him. Shawn then climbs to the top rope (w/ the ladder) and splashes onto Razor. VICIOUS! He puts Razor under the ladder, and then climbs up (crowd going bonkers), but Razor shoulderblocks the ladder, and Shawn falls into the ropes, getting tangled. MSG is going INSANE now! Razor climbs, as Shawn goes nuts to escape, but Ramon grabs the straps for the win at 18:47, and then bumps all the may back to the mat. Ouch. Now THAT’S a great match! *****, and quite possibly the best ladder match in history. Because it wasn’t only bumps, it had the psychology, and the angle that made it great.

- The heels in the 10-man tag disagree over who will be the captain in their match, so it gets cut from the card. The real story was that time was getting tight, so they did it on RAW the next night.

- “WrestleMania Moment:” WrestleMania IX. We got a look at the kick ass Caesars Palace thing, and Bret getting cheated out of the WWF title by Mr. Fuji’s salt. Big lack of Hogan in these moments, eh? He’s only seen jobbing (WM VI) and at WM III for obvious reasons.

- Video package leading to the main event. Bret’s package rules (Just ask every girl in every town, ever), while Yoko’s seems kind of thrown together, which it probably was, with the whole drunk Luger thing. (Considering that wasn’t true, it kind of makes you wonder why they didn’t put something better together)

- Main Event, WWF Title Match (#2): Yokozuna vs. Bret Hart: Jenny Garth is the timekeeper for this, and Burt Renoylds (with big pop) is the ring announcer. He makes a mockery out of it, kind of mumbling through it. (Yeah, Burt was acting like a total douche. I’ve always found it weird that Bret felt Reynolds he did one of the best guest ring announcing jobs ever) Anyone know why he had a cast on his hand? Anyway, he introduces Rowdy Roddy Piper as the special ref. for this match and he gets a HUGE pop. The pop Bret gets upon his entrance STILL gives me goose bumps. He’s still selling the knee injury, BTW. Why? ‘Cause only Bret Hart is THAT DAMN GOOD! Yoko jumps him to start, and kicks ass with a bunch of chops. Hart comes back with rights, and a dropkick, but Yoko will not go down. Another dropkick misses, and Yoko chokes away. Dear G-D, Yoko’s fat. A big fat splash misses, but Bret is out, and Yoko recovers first. More punches from Bret, but a headbutt knocks BOTH down. Another slugfest, and Hart covers for three, but Cornette pulls Piper out. He gets punched for his troubles. Yoko gets all pissed, and starts mauling Bret then tosses him to the outside. Back in, and Yoko continues the assault in the corner. Charge misses, and Bret hits a bulldog for two. 2nd rope elbow for two. Bret gets a flying clothesline for two, and the crowd is getting hot. Bret tries a double ax, but Yoko catches him with a belly to belly. He drags him to the corner and heads to the 2nd rope for the Banzi Drop, but slips off, and Bret covers for three at 10:38! WHOA, that’s a pop!! Match was like a ¾ *, but who gives a crap? This, ladies and gentlemen, is my absolute favorite moment in wrestling history. Luger then runs out, and they do to the babyface embrace, then All the faces then run out, along with the celebs and the commentators (well, not Lawler), and hoist Bret up and celebrate. Again, this is my favorite moment in all of wrestling. Vince himself even congratulates Bret. I think this was his way of saying “I’m sorry” for WrestleMania IX, and 1993 in general. Owen then walks out, and stares in the ring … in shock. He cannot believe Bret gets the glory, after he beat him. What a story! What a moment! What a WrestleMania!

- Bottom Line: What do you want to hear? How can ANYONE not love this show? The history, the entertainment, the pageantry, and the wrestling. It’s the show that pretty much changed the WWF forever. Vince proved Hulk Hogan wasn’t needed in the WWF anymore, and established Bret Hart, Owen Hart, Shawn Michaels and Razor Ramon as the new blood of wrestling. It also ended Lex Luger’s credibility as a main eventer, FOR GOOD. It’s WrestleMania X, if you can’t love this, you have no business watching wrestling. Oh, and BTW, the ending, with Bret celebrating STILL give me goosebumps six years later. I think that is the mark of a great show.

- Highest Recommendation Possible.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.