- The HITMAN383 Rant for WWF WrestleMania VIII. As requested
by you, the readers, in our site poll WM VIII comes your way today! Not that I
mind either. One of my personal favorite shows.
- Thanks for voting in the poll, and look for new polls
soon!
- BTW, I use this system: ***** - Excellent, **** - Great,
*** - Good, **- Okay, * - Decent, DUD - Awful.
- Live from Indianapolis
Indiana.
- Your Hosts are Gorilla Monsoon and Bobby Heenan. Always a
good combo.
- This is a pretty big building (The RCA Dome, then known as
the Hoosier Dome) (and now demolished) with an announced crowd of over 60,000
people, but the rednecks aren’t all there yet due to traffic, so we start with
only 90% of Indianapolis’ redneck population. Bobby blames it on the dumbasses
not knowing to set their clocks ahead the night before. Somehow, I bet that’s
true, too.
- Opening Match: Tito Santana vs. Shawn Michaels:
This was during the “El Matador” period for Tito. Shawn has Sherri with him
here, and is just starting to get into his new “sexy boy” gimmick, and Bobby
already predicts success. He did know his stuff. Shawn takes his time to get
ready, probably trying to give the crowd time to file in. This is also the 2nd
WM in a row he opens, and he would do the same the next year. (Shawn
was a good guy to count on to open a show in the earlier years. His matches
were generally fast paced, and got the crowd into things) Tito takes it
to him to start, and gets a cross body for two. Damn this crowd is pretty hot
for a Santana match. Side headlock time, and Shawn breaks out. They do a criss
cross, and Tito clotheslines HBK to the floor. Back in, and Tito goes back to
the headlock. No wonder he never really got anywhere in the 90’s, he still
wrestles like it’s 1985. Tito gets some two counts out of the hold, and Shawn
rolls through for his own two counts. I’ll give them credit, at least they’re
doing SOMETHING during a resthold. I can appreciate that. They try another
criss cross, but Tito stops short and small packages him for two. More
headlock. They break, so Tito charges HBK, and gets tossed to the concrete as a
result. Backbreaker by Michaels for two, and he goes to the chinlock. What the
hell kind of Shawn Michaels match is this, anyway? Shawn catches him on the jaw
with a superkick, but doesn’t even bother to cover because his move was a side
suplex at the time. He goes for it, but Santana breaks out, and hits his flying
forearm, dumping Shawn out. He follows and puts Michaels to the steps, and
rolls him on in. He hits a slingshot shoulderblock, and a big atomic drop. The
crowd is going wild. He hits the forearm again, but Shawn smartly rolls out
again. They have a slugfest on the apron, and Tito tries to slam him but Shawn
wiggles around and topples on top of El Matador for the pin, and his first WM
singles win at 10:38. Lengthy, but decent enough. * ¼. (Ten minutes in ‘lengthy’? Man,
that’s some Attitude Era conditioning right there)
- Mean Gene brings out the Road Warriors, who have Paul
Ellering with them. They talk crap for what seems like forever, and the general
point is they’re back, and better than ever. The crowd loves them that’s for
sure.
- Sean Mooney catches up with Jake the Snake, who cuts his
usual great promo from back in the day. The point is the Undertaker is in BIG
trouble. Trust him.
- The Undertaker vs. Jake Roberts: This is Jake’s
last WWF match (until his brief 1996 return run), and the fans are ready for
him to be destroyed by the newly face turned Undertaker. To set this up Roberts
clobbered him pretty badly in the “funeral parlor” and it’s payback time! Jake
runs away from the big guy for obvious reasons, and hits a right hand here and
there, which is no sold. It spills outside, and the ‘Taker rams him to the post
for a big pop. Back inside, and Jake catches him with a knee and unloads some
right hands. He tries to whip him to the corner, but the ‘Taker stops that, and
tosses Roberts to the corner instead. UT chokes him out forever, and drops a
solid elbow on Jake. He connects with a flying clothesline, and the fans are
solidly behind him at this point. He tries the Tombstone, but Jake slips away and DDT’s him.
He’s too scared to cover, however, and the ‘Taker sits up. Jake hits a short
arm clothesline, but UT gets up from that too! Another DDT hits, and the ‘Taker
is dead! Roberts goes out and attacks Bearer, trying to get the urn, but UT
follows out and Tombstones him on the floor. He rolls him in, and this is over
at 6:41. And the crowd could not be happier. The match was a sure DUD, but it
was the start of a new era in the WWF that began with the “thud” of Jake
Robert’s taking a Tombstone.
- Gene is backstage with Bret and Piper, who are set to
battle over the IC title here. Piper mocks the Hitman but Bret doesn’t take any
crap, and tells Piper exactly what he thinks of him. The angle is that Bret
lost it when he was sick (to the Mountie), and then Piper beat the Mountie for
it (at the Rumble), and Bret wants it back.
- WWF Intercontinental Title Match: Roddy Piper vs. Bret
Hart: This is Bret’s first WM singles match. Notice how the Bret/Shawn/UT
era’s all got kicked off here? (Hmm, and at the same time as the
Hogan/Warrior/Savage era was winding down. Wonder why?) Piper out
wrestles him to start, and they take it slow playing the face/face match. Piper
gets a go behind, but Bret dumps him out, and HERE WE GO. Piper runs back in,
pissed, and spits at the Hitman while we get this funny exchange:
Bobby: I remember when I was champion, Monsoon.
Gorilla: CHAMPION OF WHAT?
Bobby (As if this is the simplest thing ever): The
neighborhood! (Classic)
They are a great team, no doubt. Test of strength won by
Bret, and he goes to work on the arm. Piper chops him to try to break away, but
Hart won’t let go. Piper does it all, punches, chops, ramming him to the post,
but Hart won’t break the hold! He lets go, and a criss cross ensues, and Bret
dropkicks him, but lands badly and is hurt! Piper lets off to let him recover,
but Bret was faking, and gets a small package for two. Piper’s pissed now, and
slaps Hart across the chops, and now they’re gonna get violent kids! Shove
fest, and a Bret crossbody takes both men to the floor. Piper quickly rolls
back in, but Bret is hurt and has a harder time getting back in. Roddy holds
the ropes open for him, as a show of goodwill, and Bret makes a very cautious
entrance. Bret’s shoe is untied, however, and as he goes to tie it, Piper
attacks, just as Gorilla talks about how he’s a great sportsman. Good character
playing by Piper there. Bret gets busted open, pretty well too, and Piper
bulldogs him for two. High knee for two. Bret gets a sunset flip for two, and
Piper punches his lights out for a two count. They have a slugfest, which Hart
wins, and he stiffly clotheslines the Hot Rod to the outside. He charges right
back in, and they do a double clothesline leaving both men dead, and pumping up
this crowd. Piper gets up first, and heads up, but Bret was faking again, and
catches him up there, dropping him facefirst to the mat. Atomic drop and a
suplex get two for Bret. Russian leg sweep for two, and a backbreaker set up
the Sharpshooter. Piper blocks it, so Bret drops an elbow to knock him out. He
hits a 2nd rope elbow for good measure, but Piper gets the foot up and hits
Bret hard. Not a crappy little “foot to the face” spot, either. A solid one.
Another slugfest, and the ref. gets bumped. It spills outside where Piper takes
Hart to school. He grabs the ring bell and goes back inside, getting ready to
clobber Hart. He’s about to do it, but the crowd yells to him “NO, NO” so Piper
drops the bell. Again great character playing. He hooks the sleeper, but Hart
flips off the ropes to get the pin (and the title) at 13:48. Big pop for that.
I never really appreciated this one while just watching it, but like
Flair/Steamboat, you need to review it to appreciate it. ****.
- Bobby brings us Lex Luger, via satellite, who makes his
WWF debut by threatening which big WWF superstar? The WBF. Oooh, what a debut! (I
can see the dilemma there, as they couldn’t use him as a wrestler until 1993 due
to his WCW deal, but they wouldn’t want to pay a guy to sit on the sidelines
for a year, either. Still, this was a less than enthralling introduction to
Luger in the WWF)
- Eight-Man Tag Team Match: The Big Bossman, Sgt.
Slaughter, Virgil and Jim Duggan vs. The Nasty Boys, The Mountie and The Repo
Man: Before the match Jim Duggan lets us know that this will be a fight,
and no wrestling moves will be exchanged. Well, Jim, that’s because you don’t
KNOW ANY. Also, former Family Feud host Ray Combs does the ring intros, and
makes fun of the heels. Funny, actually. Say what you will about Ray, but he
was WAY better than Louie Anderson. (That cartoon show Louie used to have was
pretty awesome, though) A big brawl opens us up, and the faces
clothesline all the heels out. It officially opens with Duggan and Saggs, and
it goes exactly how you’d expect. Duggan hits an atomic drop and tags
Slaughter, who gets beaten up. Knobs gets in and pounds the former world
champion, but gets clotheslined for his troubles. Bossman gets tagged in, and
he hits a big foot onto Knobs, and goes to work. He misses a charge to give
Brian control, and Repo gets tagged in. He works the back, but a timely low
blow turns the tide and Bossman tags Virgil. He has his happy little Scott Steiner
nose-guard that he got from Sid. A brawl ensues again, and when it clears it’s
Sags and Virgil. Jerry hits a slam for two, and tags the Mountie. He dives, but
gets caught by the Bossman, and spinebustered down. Another eight-man brawl
goes down, and in the chaos Virgil gets the pin on Knobs at 6:31. A sure DUD,
but the quick tags and NO REST HOLDS kept it from being worse.
- Backstage WWF Champion Ric Flair gives a kick ass promo on
what he’s gonna do to Savage, and that he’s gonna put up photos of Liz on the
big screen at the Hoosier Dome. Great build up interview.
- Gene tries to get some words from the Macho Man, but he’s
not in the mood to talk right now, for obvious reasons.
- WWF Title Match: Ric Flair vs. Randy Savage: This
is the big one here, kids. Why is it going on so early though? (I
think we all know the answer to that one) Savage waists no time,
attacking Flair in the isle and trying to kill him. Flair’s “Executive
Consultant” Mr. Perfect stops him, and allows Flair to get him inside and do
some chops. Savage is blind with rage, however, and takes Flair’s head off,
then does the 10-punch count. Savage continues to stalk Flair, but the ref.
gets in the way, allowing Flair to backdrop him to the floor. Flair follows him
out, and goes to work on the back. Back in, and Flair lays in with the chops,
and a hanging vertical suplex for two. Side suplex for two, and now Flair is
just taking his time, enjoying this beating. Flair hits his patented shin drop,
and kicks Savage out to the floor. He keeps the hurt on the back out there. He drags
Randy back in, and suplexes him for another two. This is the Ric Flair show
now, everyone. He’s just slapping the Macho Man around at this point. Savage
will not stay down, however, and desperatly fights back with everything he has.
He gets a neckbreaker, trying to buy time, as Bobby has a heart attack in the
broadcast booth. Flair goes up top, but Savage slams him off to a big pop.
Savage backdrops him, and kills him with a series of clotheslines. Ric begs
off, but no dice, and Savage throws him to the corner. He does the Flair flip,
and then dives at Randy from the top but gets clobbered for two. Savage
clotheslines him to the floor, and then drops a double ax from the top. Flair
goes barreling into the rail as a result, and does a great blade job. That’s
two tonight. Macho suplexes him out there, and back in we go. He goes for a
cover, but changes his mind and hammers the Nature Boy. Double ax from the top
for two, and the crowd is going bonkers. Savage with a slam, and he hits the
big elbow for a sure three, but Hennig pulls Savage out at two. Oooh, crowd
doesn’t like that. Savage chases him like a mad man, and in the chaos Perfect
tosses Flair a pair of knux, and he decks Savage with it for a dramatic two.
Flair gets desperate, so he keeps the ref. busy and Perfect bashes Savage’s
knee with a chair. During all this, Liz (who is pretty in pink tonight) makes
her entrance with tons of officials (including Shane McMahon) trying to stop
her. She gets there anyway, just as Flair hits a knee breaker, and hooks the
Figure Four. Flair smacks him around while in the hold, but Savage refuses to
quit and reverses the hold. Curt saves Ric again, and Flair goes to work on the
knee, but Savage gets a small package for two. Ric is MAD now, and pounds Randy
in the corner while yelling “It’s for you, baby” at Liz the whole time. Another
knee breaker hits, and then out of no where Savage gets a schoolboy (with a
hand full of tights) for the pin (and the title) at 18:01. HUGE ovation for
that one. Afterwards, Flair goes after Liz, but she slaps him and Savage and
Flair brawl again with about 100 officials trying to stop it. What a great
feud. The match started a bit slow, but once it heated up it didn’t stop for a
moment. **** ¼, easy. After they finally clear Flair and Hennig out Savage and
Liz get their moment to pose with the title to a big ovation. And a well
deserved one, indeed.
- Backstage Mooney finds Ric Flair who is PISSED to say the
least. Flair pulls a Clinton,
ignoring all the bad stuff he did, and talks about how Savage held the tights
during the pin. He cuts his 2ND kick ass promo of the night, and rants all over
Savage while Hennig and Heenan go nuts in the background. They all swear
revenge, baby.
- Gene is with Savage who responds to Flair’s interview like
the total nutcase he really is. He says he wants more of Flair and that he’s
not NEARLY done with Flair. This was such a kick ass feud, it’s unbelievable.
Incredible heat, intensity, and great wrestling. What more could you want?
- We take a look back to the WrestleMania VIII press
conference where Jack Tunney announces Hulk Hogan as the number one contender
to Flair’s title at WrestleMania, which pisses Sid off. What ever happened to
THAT plan? We also take a look at all the evil stuff Sid’s done to build up
their match here.
- Tatanka vs. Rick Martel: Before the match some
Indians do a tribal dance to get Tatanka pumped. It must have worked, too, as
he is a house of fire on the Model. During this whole match, Heenan has also
lost it completely. He’s still reeling from the whole Flair thing. You know,
Heenan was at his absolute best during the whole Flair title reign period.
Martel chokes away on Tatanka, and dumps him onto the floor. Martel hits a
backbreaker, and goes to the top, but gets knocked off. Tatanka chops away, and
hits a big backdrop. More chops, but Martel slams him to stop the comeback.
They wrestle around for a bit more, and Tatanka gets a fluke crossbody for the
pin at 4:32. Eh, your average Superstars Main Event from back in the day. DUD.
- WWF Tag Team Title Match: Money Inc. vs. The Natural
Disasters: Bobby “Archie Bunker” Heenan is a riot during the entrances.
He’s just a funny guy in general. Too bad he deteriorated so much in WCW. Ted
starts with Earthquake, and the big guy tosses him around. Both heels try to
take the big man down, but it backfires as the fat asses eat them for lunch.
IRS has a go with the ‘Quake, and that doesn’t go too well for the Tax Man.
Typhoon gets in and tosses Irwin around as well. That’s all these two can do:
toss their opponents around. They aren’t exactly GOOD wrestlers or anything.
Typhoon makes a mistake (The Shockmaster? Making a mistake? Who’da thunk it?)
and Ted tags in. Typhoon takes a fall to the floor, and now Money Inc.
officially make him Ricky Morton. If Ricky Morton ate 24 hours a day. The heels
pull some classic tag team hell-ish-ness and work over Typhoon. Typhoon finally
makes a hot tag, but the crowd couldn’t care less, so I guess it’s a cold tag.
I mean he FINALLY gets the tag, and the crowd doesn’t make a peep. HA HA! The
faces slam them all around and Earthquake goes for the butt splash on IRS, but
Jimmy Hart pulls him out. They smartly walk away and the Disasters get the
count-out win at 8:38. I’m surprised the ref. didn’t make them come back or
lose the titles. I guess he was as sick of this match as we were. Bad ending to
a bad match. - *.
- Owen Hart vs. Skinner: Skinner attacks him from
behind, and hits a shoulderbreaker quickly. He connects with a reverse DDT for
two, but Owen quickly comes back with a roll up to pin him at 1:07. DUD. (Much
like WrestleMania VII, this show never recovered after hitting its peak with
the Savage match, and was in cruise control up until the main event)
- Gene talks with Sid, who yells random words at Hogan.
Despite it being Sid, it’s actually a pretty decent promo. (Fuck you, Sid promos were
awesome!) We take a look back at Vince McMahon with Hogan from “March
to WrestleMania” the week previous, and Vince asks him if it’s his last match.
Hogan responds that it may be, but he won’t know for sure until after he leaves
WrestleMania. Sid promises that he will FORCE Hogan into retirement. If Sid
actually DID do that, I think any level of suck he gives us today would be
automatically forgiven.
- Main Event: Hulk Hogan vs. Sid Justice: This is
being sold as Hogan’s retirement match. And it was. For about a year. Big pop
for him though. You know, Hogan lost A LOT of muscle mass by this point, since
he wasn’t on the roids anymore. It’s really noticeable, too. Sid attacks to
start, and pounds Hogan around the ring, in front of a very hot crowd. A dull
criss cross leads to some Hogan punches and Sid bails out. For a long time.
Once he gets back in it’s Test of Strength time, and Hogan goes down. The
problem with Sid’s Test of Strength is that he makes it look like they are just
calmly holding hands, or something. But, as usual, Hogan fights back up, but
takes a chokeslam by Justice. It spills out, and Sid clobbers Hogan with a
Doctor’s Bag. How enthralling. Inside, Sid hooks a nerve hold to further prove
he is the biggest dumb lug to EVER reach the main events. And the worst part is
he’s STILL in Main Event’s today! At least Zeus disappeared. (Ah,
okay… this was originally written in 2000) Hogan fights out, but Sid
stays on top of it with a crappy sidewalk slam. He hits the big powerbomb
(crappy one, too), but that only gets two, and Hogan Hulk’s Up. He pounds Sid
all around the ring, and hits the big boot, but Sid won’t go down. He slams him
(and sells it like he slammed Andre the Giant or something) and then hits the
big leg drop for two? Sid’s manager runs in, and that causes a DQ right there
at 12:25. Huh? This isn’t over though, as Hogan and Sid continue to fight and
Papa Shango runs out to attack Hogan. What the hell is this? When PAPA FREAKIN’
SHANGO is out there in the Main Event of WrestleMania, you’re in trouble.
Luckily, the Ultimate Warrior’s music starts up, and Jim makes a surprise
return to the WWF after 8 months off to clear the heels out. This was a HUGE,
HUGE surprise at the time, and definitely saves this whole crap fest a little
bit. Hogan and Warrior (who’s also lost a lost of muscle mass) pose together
for a while in front of the huge crowd to close out this big WM. The match was
about - *, but the whole Warrior thing makes it all a bit more fun, and
surprising.
- Bottom Line: Definitely a fun show in front of a
big Dome crowd, with two great matches in Piper/Hart and Flair/Savage. Plus a
great angle in Flair/Savage too. In other action, however, there isn’t too much
good wrestling here. Most of the show is filled with DUD’s, and there are two
really bad matches in the Tag Titles and the Main Event.
- However, here, I think the good beats out the bad.
- Recommended for a fun show, but not strongly
recommended or anything.
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