WCW Slamboree 2000

From Kansas City, Missouri; Your Hosts are Tony Schiavone, Scott Hudson, and Mark Madden.

Opening WCW Cruiserweight Title Match: Chris Candido v The Artist: They trade waistlocks to start, and a criss cross goes Chris' way with a victory roll for two. Another try, but Artist counters with a bridging German suplex for two, and shoves Candido into the corner for a ten-punch. Backdrop sends Candido flying out in a nice bump, but Chris reverses a whip into the rail when Artist follows - only for a flying bodypress out after him to get blocked. Chris tries a piledriver onto a chair, but gets backdropped, and Artist rolls him in for two. Artist with a rana, and he suplexes Candido out of the ring, then snapmares him in for two. Powerbomb hits, but the 2^nd rope DDT is blocked, and Candido turns it into a rana off the top - also blocked. Ugly spot follows, as Artist tries a flying sunset flip, but totally misses his mark - forcing Candido to have to stumble back, and randomly fall over into a cradle for two. Ugh. Backdrop and a Samoan drop off the top, but Tammy Lynn Sytch distracts the referee to delay a count. Hey, at least she's looking less bulky than at Spring Stampede. Not even close to 1996 Sunny, but better. Anyway, that turns into a sloppy catfight with Paisley, and Artist takes a chairshot in the confusion - Chris pinning him at 8:01 to retain. Lots of blown spots here, but there was effort, and some good bumps from Candido. *

WCW Hardcore Title Handicap Match: Terry Funk v Norman Smiley and Ralphus: They start in the bathroom, as Funk searches for Ralphus, and ends up getting attacked by a fire extinguisher wielding Smiley. Norman destroys him with weapon shots out in the hallway, and eventually out to the ring after trading off with every available weapon. There, Funk destroys Ralphus, so Smiley tries to cover him up, and gets rolled up at 10:18. This wasn't terrible as they were creative with the spots and worked hard, but I'm just completely over the match type, and don't enjoy it anymore. Especially since WCW waived the DQ rule, promotion wide, during this period, so matches like this lost any uniqueness they had to begin with. ½*

Curt Hennig v Shawn Stasiak: This was during an angle when Stasiak was doing a 'Mr. Perfect' style gimmick - though, sadly, we never got to see Hennig and his son have this feud. Stasiak controls with a pair of hiptosses early, but Curt reverses a cross corner whip, and hits a hiptoss of his own. Bodyslam sends Stasiak bailing for the outside, and he stalls out there. Back in, Stasiak works a headlock, and hits a bodypress for two, when Curt shoves him off. Slingshot sunset flip gets two, and they spill out to the floor - Stasiak hitting an axehandle off of the apron. He chokes Hennig with a cable, and hits a flying clothesline on the way back in for two. To the outside again, Hennig tries a slam on the elevated ramp way, but his back gives out, and Shawn knocks him back in for a sleeper. Flying bodypress, but Hennig sidesteps to send him crashing, then chops him, and hits a backdrop. Into the corner for some abuse, but Curt ends up taking an ugly looking slingshot into the turnbuckle, and Stasiak pins him with the fisherman’s suplex at 7:55. Really dull, boring match. Some nice spots from Stasiak, but Hennig looked totally unmotivated, and both guys were really skimping on selling stuff. And when Curt motherfucking Hennig is being accused of underselling, you know he's dogging it. ¼*

WCW United States Title Match: Scott Steiner v Hugh G. Rection: See, this is scheduled as Steiner against Hugh Morrus, but Morrus doesn't want to live life as a pun with the slave name Eric Bischoff gave him, and decides to go by his real name: Hugh G. Reaction instead. God, it's like they WANTED us to mercilessly tease them. Steiner doesn't give a shit what they call him though, as he still sees a jobber, and destroys him in the corner. Hugh G. Rection knocks him to the outside, so Scott sends his freaks over to distract him, and sneaks up. I guess you could say, Hugh G. Rection got too excited to see them there. Scott goes for a belly-to-belly suplex, but Hugh G. Rection slams him around, and hits a sidewalk slam. Hugh G. Rection with a flying elbowdrop, but a flying moonsault attempt gets Hugh G. Rection crotched on the top rope by the freaks (who totally miss their cue), and Hugh G. Rection is caught in a tree of woe - Steiner choking Hugh G. Rection in the corner. Belly-to-belly suplex gets two, and Scott hugs Hugh G. Rection like a bear. Overhead suplex, but instead of finishing Hugh G. Rection off, Steiner decides to yell at the fans, and pose. Hugh G. Rection capitalizes with a pair of avalanches, but a third try gets Hugh G. Rection smacked down. Steiner with a lazy double-underhook powerbomb, but attempting to piledrive Hugh G. Rection gets reversed. Hugh G. Rection goes up for the flying moonsault, but Steiner is so overly roided, he has trouble rolling out of the way in time. They still pretend he does, and Hugh G. Rection goes limp in the Recliner at 9:23. Steiner treated Hugh G. Rection like a total loser here, though, can you blame him? ¼*

Mike Awesome v Kanyon: Quick criss cross ends in Kanyon popping off a nice diving clothesline, and hammering Mike in the corner - only to miss a cross corner charge, and get knocked onto the floor. Awesome is on him with a tope suicida, followed by a whip into the rail. Into the steps, but a shot into the post is reversed, and Kanyon baseball slides Awesome against it. Somersault bodyblock off the apron follows, but Awesome snaps his neck across the ropes on the way back in, and bodyslams him. Flying clothesline for two, and they spill back to the outside for Awesome to tune him up with a chair. Into the crowd for a brawl, and back in, Awesome hits a slingshot splash for two. Kanyon tries a sunset flip, but quickly gets put down with a few clotheslines, and Awesome adds a few more chairshots for good measure. To the top, but Kanyon crotches him, and brings him down with a nice neckbreaker for two. Swinging neckbreaker gets two, but a flying bodypress is rolled through by Awesome for two. Kanyon scrambles to retain control with a death valley flapjack for two, but a piledriver is countered into a whiplash. Awesome with a brutal powerbomb, and he rolls out to the floor to pull up the mats. Slingshot shoulderblock on the way back in, and he sets up a running powerbomb from inside the ring out onto the exposed concrete, but Kanyon slips free, so Mike is forced to settle for a gorgeous release German suplex. They spill out onto the elevated ramp way for Mike to try a powerbomb off of it, but here comes Kevin Nash and his Millionaire Club pals for a double disqualification at 11:59. Oh, FUCK YOU, WCW. Yeah, I know the promotions long gone, and no fucking wonder. Too bad there's no grave to go piss on, but I'd settle for clogging a toilet with a five-alarm dump at CNN. Assholes. Awesome match until the bullshit ending, too - filled with a nice mix of innovate power and finesse spots, plus crisp execution. Well, this show isn't totally useless now, at least. ***

Lex Luger v Buff Bagwell: Lots of stalling to start, as both guys want to pose. That goes on for a while. Buff takes control first with forearm shots, and he chokes Luger in the ropes. Luger with a nice hanging vertical suplex than gets completely no-sold, so he hits Buff where it hurts: a pair of inverted atomic drops. Ten-punch count and a clothesline, but Bagwell manages a chinlock after a quick brawl on the outside. Dissatisfied, Bagwell moves into a reverse chinlock next, with Luger selling it like he's getting a massage. Luger fires back with a series of running forearm smashes, and a powerslam. Liz comes in with a bat, but Buff gets it away from her, and whacks Luger to set up a swinging neckbreaker. Buff Blockbuster, but Liz whacks him with the bat now, and Luger finishes with the Torture Rack at 9:30. Total piece of shit match here, as both guys plodded around, and put in the minimal amount of effort required before the usual overbooked nonsense finish. DUD

Ric Flair v Shane Douglas: The back story here is far more interesting than the match, of course - though ninety percent of the audience at this point had no knowledge of it. Russo just has a habit of assuming that everyone reads backstage stuff online, and therefore is hip to his bullshit. Flair is still wrestling in street clothes here - something that would be less offensive to me if he'd at least wear boots instead of loafers. Flair dominates a reversal sequence to start, but gets backdropped coming out of the corner, and ten-punched. Chopfest goes Flair's way, but he gets slammed off of the top, and Shane slaps on the figure four to add insult to injury. Ric makes the ropes, and cracks Shane but GOOD in the nuts to knock him to the outside for some chops. Shane catches him with a suplex on the way back in, and pulls a chain out of his boot to whack Flair with. Three-alarm rolling snap suplexes (with the third being a hanging vertical version) for two, and he mounts Ric on the mat with rights. More in the corner, but Flair fires back with chops, and punts a field goal in the little-franchise. Kneebreaker sets up the Figure Four, but Buff Bagwell and a man in a Sting mask run out to allow Shane a cradle at 8:45. Really? The Sting mask? That was played out in 1998, let alone by 2000. What's next, the Nitro Girls run in? Buff and Shane go to work on Flair with the chain, and 'Sting' reveals himself to be David Flair - David and Vince Russo attacking the elder Flair with the bat for a while until Kevin Nash wanders back out to save. Again, glad to see them continue to reward Douglas for trying to defect to the WWF a couple of months before. Does you proud. ½*

Sting v Vampiro: Brawl on the ramp way to start, and Sting hits a vertical suplex out there. Inverted atomic drop, and they head in - Sting missile dropkicking him right back out. Sting follows with a pretty wild flying bodypress, and he hits a DDT out there before taking things back inside. Vampiro with a low blow as they climb back in, and a flying clothesline follows. Vampiro grabs a lead pipe to abuse Sting with some, and out onto the ramp again, but does practically nothing out there before clotheslining him back in for more pipe shots. Cross corner clothesline sets up a rana off the top, but Sting blows him low, and powerbombs him down. He gets some pipe action of his own in (Why not? The booking team clearly was), and follows with two Stinger Splashes. Scorpion Deathdrop, and a second for good measure finishes at 6:49. Well, this didn't suffer from the communication issues they had at Spring Stampede, but it was a pretty mindless brawl otherwise - a couple of nice spots mixed in with aimless bullshit. ½*

Hulk Hogan v Billy Kidman: Eric Bischoff acts as the guest referee here. Kidman lures him into a chase to start, and pounds away. Hogan tries a slam, but gets cradled for two - in a really poorly executed spot. Kidman with a sunset flip to block a Samoan drop, but Hulk crotches him across the top rope, and they go to the floor. Inside, Hogan press slams him onto a chair, but a powerbomb is countered with a rana - probably the only time you'll see Hogan take that move. Dropkick puts Hogan on the floor, but Kidman's attempt to follow gets him tossed into the rail, as the announcers keep referring to him as 'Terry Bolea' since this is a shoot, brother. Kidman uses Torrie Wilson as a distraction to allow him to take over, but Hogan quickly shrugs him off, and whips him with the weight belt. Bischoff protests (Hulk's kinky games are for him alone, I guess), and Kidman steals the belt for a few licks of his own. Hulk responds by hiptossing Kidman clear out of the ring, but back inside, Eric won't count the fall. Hulk with a side suplex, but again Bischoff won't count. That allows Billy to dodge a series of elbowdrops, but Hulk shrugs off his punches by tossing him to the floor again. Back in, Kidman tries snapping Hogan's neck across the top rope, but he HULKS UP!! Big Boot! Legdrop! - but Bischoff blocks it. Hogan decks him and hits it, but now there's no referee. Hulk decides to go get some tables in the meantime, and sets them up, but Kidman cracks him with a chair before he gets to use them - Hulk blading. See, because he's elevating Kidman. That gets two, so Kidman grabs the chair again - only to have it kicked into his face. Hulk turns his attention back to Bischoff again (since Kidman is such a non-threat) for a powerbomb through a table, but while he busies himself setting up more tables (why he needs four tables is beyond me, but whatever), Kidman hits him with a chair again. He places Hogan onto it for a flying splash, but Hulk rolls off, and pins the little pesk at 13:30. Well, Hogan said that Kidman 'wasn't in his league' during the buildup, and he went out and proved just that. Good bumping from Kidman here, but this was basically a squash from Hogan under the guise of 'elevating' Kidman - Kidman unable to string together more than a pair of spots before Hulk shrugged them off each time. Thank God Bret Hart never got that match with Hulk at SummerSlam in '93, because it likely would have been the same thing. –½*

Main Event: WCW World Title Ready to Rumble Cage Match: David Arquette v Jeff Jarrett v Diamond Dallas Page: Yep, this is from that time that David Arquette won the WCW World Title (a title change I was in attendance for, actually) - a decision Vince Russo still defends to this day. He was a great guy by all accounts (even donating all the money he was paid to the families of Owen Hart, Brian Pillman, and Darren Drozdov), but just the wrong guy to put a wrestling title on. Anyway, the idea is that they put the belt at the top of a triple cage, and the first man to fight his way up to get it, wins. And, of course, weapons are scattered throughout. Jarrett chases Arquette to start, but Page lends an assist, and trades off with Jeff until Jarrett baseball slides a ladder into his face. Page reverses a whip into the cage and ends up throwing Jarrett at Arquette, and Jeff posts DDP. He decks David next, as the announcers lay out the goofy back story for this bullshit (Jarrett was angry that he wasn't asked to be in Ready to Rumble, so he challenged Arquette). Jeff tries to climb into the second tier, but gets powerbombed off a ladder by Page, and they trade shots with the ladder. Jeff does a good bladejob out of the deal, and DDP shoves him off a ladder to give himself a chance to get up into the second level. Jarrett follows to continue the brawl - in what can only be adequately described as 'stupidly dangerous,' as the cage threatens to give out at any moment. Weapon shots are traded as Arquette watches from the first level, and in a crazy spot, Page rams Jarrett into the cage wall... which collapses, nearly sending them both to their deaths. Glad to see safety was a major concern here at the Kemper Arena tonight. Page stupidly tries to set a table up on what is a floor-of-mesh, and puts Jarrett through it with a powerslam. As they continue to trade off, Arquette sees his window, and scurries up the ladder into the second level, then quickly hustles up to the top, but decides to hang out there rather than retrieve the belt. Mike Awesome suddenly shows up on the second level to take a Diamond Cutter, and it's a foot race between Jarrett and Page to climb to the third level. They both make it, but Arquette ends up breaking a guitar over Page's head to turn on him, and Jeff grabs the belt at 15:29. Afterwards, Kanyon shows up to continue his fight with Mike Awesome, and gets launched off the top of the first cage, and through the ramp way – since WCW has no class. This was entertaining in its way, but that shouldn't be confused with praise. Just a total clusterfuck of a main event, in every sense, and in no way an actual wrestling match. *

BUExperience: One good match in Awesome/Kanyon, but pretty much everything else sucks – outside of the main event, which is only good in the sense that it was unique, and no one died.

DUD