WWF Monday Night RAW (January 31, 1994)

Original Airdate: January 31, 1994

From Bushkill, Pennsylvania; Your Hosts are Vince McMahon and IRS.

Cute RAW Girl Sign of the Week: Are You RAW

Opening Match: Marty Jannetty v Johnny Polo: Jannetty is subbing for an injured 1-2-3 Kid here. Kid accompanies Marty down to the ring on crutches, and is dressed like an extra from Wayne's World. Polo grabs a mic to call Kid a pussy for bailing on the match, but Jannetty ends up tying him up with the cord - leaving Johnny flopping around like a fish as he tries to get free. He ends up on the floor, and Marty follows for a brawl in the aisle - backdropping him out there. Marty with a flying bodypress on the way back in for two, and a superkick gets two. Johnny knocks him to the outside as he tries following up, however, and slaps on a chinlock as they head back in. Criss cross ends in them badly mistiming a backdrop over the top, and leaving Marty having to slide out under the bottom rope instead. Looked like Marty's miscue there. Back in, Polo with a 2^nd rope axehandle for two. Chinlock, but Marty powers up, and starts throwing shoulderblocks. Sunset flip for two, and a sunset cradle gets two. Polo takes him down with a snapmare into a mat-based side-headlock, as they seem to be scrambling to communicate their way into salvaging this match before it falls apart any further. Johnny tries a flying axehandle on a horizontal Jannetty (why?), but take a boot to the face (oh, okay), and Marty hits a jumping forearm. Jumping backelbow, but Polo blocks a superplex - only to get crotched as he tries following up. Inverted atomic drop works the nuts, but a cross corner charge misses, and Polo slams him. Pointed elbowdrop, but he telegraphs a backdrop, and the Rocker Dropper finishes at 11:00. Ugh. Ugly match. They had a much, much better match on RAW only a few weeks before, this one looking really sloppy, and poorly worked. After the match, 1-2-3 Kid steals IRS' briefcase (containing Razor Ramon's necklace in it), and runs to the back with it as Marty holds IRS back. IRS manages to fight his way through, but runs into Razor Ramon himself instead. ¾*

Over the weekend, WWF President Jack Tunney explains that both Lex Luger and Bret Hart will get WWF Title shots at WrestleMania as a result of co-winning the Royal Rumble, and that we will be seeing a coin toss tonight to determine who goes first. If Luger wins the coin toss, he faces Yokozuna first, with Bret Hart meeting the winner - after facing Owen Hart as 'suitable competition.' If Bret wins the toss, he faces Yoko first, with Luger wrestling Crush earlier on, and then facing the winner. I always loved Tunney, and his office - with things like the coveted 'Golden Videocassette' award in the background

Bam Bam Bigelow v Miguel Rosado: I live in South Florida, and apparently 'Rosado' means 'jobber' in Spanish. Bigelow slaughters him, but misses an avalanche, and Rosado hammers away. Bam Bam shrugs it off though, and press slams the jobber. Series of falling headbutts, backdrop, and another falling headbutt wraps things up at 2:11. Energetic. ¼*

Vince McMahon hosts the in-ring coin toss with President Tunney, and a gaggle of WWF Officials. Watching Tunney talk to Vince in the most patronizing way possible is pretty awesome here. Anyway, Luger wins the toss, and that means Hart has his worst fear realized: he has to wrestle his own brother

Kwang v Rich Myers: Myers tries sneak attacking with a barrage of fists, but Kwang shrugs him off, and hits a cross corner spinheel kick. Kwang with a bunch of slow martial arts kicks, and a backdrop before tossing Rich into the corner for chops. Meanwhile, Owen Hart calls in, celebrating the fact that he gets his hands on Bret at WrestleMania. Myers tries a 2^nd rope bodypress, but that misses, and Kwang superkicks him for the pin at 3:05. Total crap, even for a squash. DUD

WrestleMania X Report! I like how they keep pushing that seeing two WWF Title matches in one night is an 'unprecedented first,' when we saw just that the year before at WrestleMania IX - with a lot of the same people involved

Paul Bearer feels the spirit of the Undertaker deep inside of him

Earthquake v Corey Student: This is Earthquake's return, after taking a year to work in Japan. Student tries the patented jobber sneak attack as well, but gets belly-to-belly suplexed. Backbreaker, and an overhead submission version follow, but Student escapes. 'Quake is on him with a hangman’s clothesline for two, and into the corner for an avalanche, in a nice bit of foreshadowing. Legdrop and the Earthquake Splash finish at 3:18. Pretty dull return - much like the rest of his 1994 run. DUD

Backstage, Marty Jannetty decides to forgo his Intercontinental Title match with Razor Ramon next week, so that he can get revenge on IRS instead. Well, no one ever said Marty was known for his brains. He’s not Lex Luger, after all!

BUExperience: Absolutely nothing to see this week outside of the coin toss, and that’s certainly not worth sitting through the rest of the episode for. Disappointing for a live show, too.