Sunday, May 4, 2014

HITMAN383 Rant for WWF Good Times Home Video: Most Unusual Matches... Ever!



Okay, we're moving right along thru these tapes. I got two done yesterday, and here's a third one at you today. This time, it's "Good Times Home Video presents: WWF's Most UNUSUAL matches.... EVER!" Well, the cover has Shawn and Bret falling off a ladder, so I have HOPE BAYBE~! Though the back of the box shows Jim Duggan and Mabel, so maybe I'm getting too excited. (This was originally written in 2000)

- Anyway, WWF's Most Unusual matches Ever. Released in 1994.  (I remember finding this in some bargain bin at a WalMart around 1995. Still had it in my parents’ house until they moved a couple of year back, and now some hobo probably has it. Enjoy, hobo!)


- Generic video opens us. Same as all the "Good times" video's like "Best of SummerSlam" and "Best of WrestleMania," just a different title at the end of the package.

- Gorilla Monsoon hosts! Thank G-D too, because I've had to deal with Dok Hendrix in TWO videos yesterday.

- Ladder Match: Bret Hart vs. Shawn Michaels: YES~! YES~! YES~! I believe this is from an episode of "Prime Time" of "Wrestling Challenge" because those banners are hanging. Bret is the IC champ, and this is between WrestleMania VIII and SummerSlam '92, cause Shawn is a heel. I also think it's the first ladder match in the WWF. (It was. In fact, this was supposed to be a template for a match at SummerSlam ’92 between the two, but when the event got moved from Washington to London, they shuffled the card to move Bulldog into the IC title match instead) Starts off basic, with Shawn working Bret over. Bret comes back, and HBK bumps around, and takes a HUGE backdrop. Hart systematically takes him apart, piece by piece, but as he goes for the ladder, Shawn clips him, and goes to work. Building's pretty empty. Shawn gets him down after some power stuff, and gets the ladder. Long isle way too. He drags it back, but Hart clocks him, and Shawn takes a sweet post bump, that the camera missed. Bret kicks ass, and gets the ladder himself, but Sherri stops *THAT* to allow Shawn to almost get the title. Crowd gets a heart attack, but Bret stops him, and they brawl around. Hart climbs and gets knocked off. Shawn controls with some ladder spots. He tries to ram him one time too many, and misses, so he sets up the ladder in the corner.... and does nothing with it. Hart takes control, and whips him to the ladder, but it's reversed, and Bret flies into it. Shawn goes up, and Bret pulls him off, and the ladder falls on him. Crowd gets *SO* into it when someone climbs. Hart goes up, and Shawn rams his head to the ladder (on top) and he falls off. Nice enough spot. Michaels puts the boots, and climbs, but Bret knocks him off, and a brawling we go! Bret with a clothesline from the 2nd rope as Shawn was trying to toss him to the ladder. Looked really cool. Bret with a slingshot to the ladder, and Shawn sells beautifully. Bret controls with the usual, and a double KO spot goes down. Both climb, and, of course the ladder tips. Sherri tips up Bret on a criss cross sequence, leading to a superkick. But his move was a side suplex, so it didn't give anyone a heart attack. NOW he hits the side suplex, and the crowd is worried. He almost makes it, but Bret drop-kicks the ladder, and he falls to the floor (and gets crotched). Hart climbs, and gets the belt. ****, and a big pop. This is MUCH better then the SummerSlam 1995 Shawn/Razor match. Why? Well, the bumping wasn't as great, because, afterall we are in 1992, but the wrestling during the match was much better, and the ladder spots were still good. Shawn/Razor was a good match, but I personally like this better. Not to say the WM X match wasn't better then THIS, because it was. Just not the SS '95 one. (Don’t know about that, HITMAN. The SummerSlam ’95 match was pretty great, but that statement alone certainly makes me want to get around to doing a BUExperience on this one sooner than later)

- $10,000 Match: Razor Ramon vs. 1-2-3 Kid: From RAW in 1993. This is the week after he beat Razor, so Razor put up $10,000 to fight him. This building isn't even worthy of an ECW show. Kid gets a quick advantage, and hits a flying sunset flip for 2, the a shit load of high flying stuff for two counts. Razor takes control with power stuff, as chants of 1-2-3 go off. Kid bumps around like a champ. Weird to see X-pac like this. He's announced at 1-2-3 Kid, but he has "Lightning Kid" on his tights. Abdominal stretch by Razor, and Ramon is just taking his sweet time to hurt and humiliate the kid. Side suplex from the top hits hard. He calls for the Edge, but instead tosses him to the floor, exposes the concrete, and goes for the edge on the floor, but gets backdroped out. Kid goes up, and SERIOUSLY screws up, as he slips off the top, and falls head first to the floor. On second viewing, this is a SICK bump, and clearly accidental, as Razor moves him slowly. He slaps him up in the ring, and misses a move, so Kid moonsaults him for 2, and then just steals the money and runs out of the building to the street, and into a waiting car. Sean looks *SO* odd at this point, his face looks like a baby pigs. Match is still a lot of fun, ***. (Just covered this again recently as I work my way though 1993 RAW episodes. It’s not three-stars)

- Mabel Doink, Mo Doink, Luke Doink, Butch Doink vs. Bam Bam Bigalow, The Headshrinkers, and Bastion Booger: Aw great. From Survivor Series 1993, BTW. They show some kids in a crowd, who look truly freaked out by the heels. Hey, it's Rikishi! I can't describe how stupid this is. There isn't even the REAL Doink in this whole match. Mabel looks *SO* gay coming to the ring. Just saying. What the hell is Oscar saying? (I believe it was, ‘dadadadabah dadadadabah WHOMP THERE IT IS! WHOMP THERE IT IS!’) Long stall session. Booger starts with Luke. Nothing really happens as the fat ass slowly hits him, then Luke bits his ass. He tags Samu. Samu works him over with the usual crap. A prank by the faces quickly gets rid of Samu, and Fatu comes in, to basically do the same thing Samu did.... only a little faster. Fat Ass comes in. Oh... which fat ass? Booger. He does nothing, and tags Bam Bam. He works Luke over, and tags Booger. He tries a "happy gay guy" butt splash, but lets off to go eat banana's... tries again, and misses. Battering ram eliminates him. What a piece of shit this match is. Fatu works over Luke, and Mo comes in, mid match, to ride a scooter around the ring. I think that says a lot about the match right there. Fatu then decides to beat on Mo, and hits his big splash, but won't cover, he wants to eat. Another prank eliminates him. Bigalow is 1-4, and kicks serious ass on everyone, 'till Momma bear (Mabel) intimidates his, but exposing his arm pits. Mabel works on him, but eventually misses something in the corner because of his speed, and goes to town. Another prank allows all the faces to make a sandwich for 3. Oh. My. G-D. -**** 1/2 All the elimination's were pranks, I think that sums it up. This match is a joke. Comedy match at it's lowest common denominator.

- Lumberjack Match: Jim Duggan vs. Shawn Michaels: For the IC title from RAW in 1993. See, Shawn ran away the week before, so this was signed. Manhattan Center is VERY small, ECW-ish building, but still has a great atmosphere. HBK comes out on crotches, which Mr. Perfect nails him out of, to prove it was a fake. They had the issue. This is between WrestleMania IX and KOTR '93. Duggan controls with power stuff, and Shawn bumping makes it look pretty good. Wow, Shawn makes JIM FREAKIN' DUGGAN look good. Flair flip in the corner, and Duggan continues to control. Shawn is my hero. Big bear hug by Duggan, and turns it into a huge slam for 2. Lumberjacks of note: Bob Backlund, Terry Taylor, and Yokozuna. There are others, but none that are of note. Shawn tries a comeback, but Jim uses his head literally to stop that. 10 punch count in the corner, and a Flair flop. Shawn gets tangled in the ropes, and Duggan tosses him to the floor. The lumberjacks bring him back with glee, and Duggan continues to kick his ass. HBK takes of his boot, and clocks Duggan to cause a ref. bump. Fonzie (the ref.) gets up quickly, and Shawn keeps dumping Duggan to allow the lumberjacks to hammer him. Hacksaw comes back quickly, and Shawn tries EVERYTHING to stop him, but can't. Finally Shawn turns the tide, and applies a chinlock. He breaks, and Duggan takes control, and hits a SUPER high backdrop. HBK outsmarts Duggan, but a flying bodyblock gets turned into a slam for 2. Jim sets up the 3 point stance, which Shawn SUPER sells, and knocks him to the floor. Back inside, and HBK misses a Stinger Splash, but Bam Bam helps him get the advantage, and Shawn drops him out by Yoko (they had an issue) and Yoko hits a BIG leg. Shawn puts a foot on for a clear 3, but Perfect comes in, and attack Shawn, causing a DQ win for Shawn. Everyone brawls, 'till Duggan clears the ring with his stick. I mean his 2X4. Dirty thinkers. Match is surprisingly pretty good. I love HBK. ** 3/4.

- Bottom Line: This is a pretty good tape. I mean a four star ladder match, a three star match, and a good enough Shawn/Duggan match makes for a recommendation. But The Doinks/Bigalow, Headshrinkers, Booger thing is appalling.

A little side note, with today's audience liking HUGE bumps in ladder matches, and crazy spots, this one may not be for you. It is a great fast paced match, with good bumping, but IS NOT what we saw at WrestleMania 2000.

Recommended, but fast forward thru the Survivor Series match.

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