WCW Bash at the Beach 2000

From Daytona Beach, Florida; Your Hosts are Tony Schiavone, Scott Hudson, and Mark Madden.

Opening WCW Cruiserweight Title Match: Lieutenant Loco v Juventud Guerrera: Juvi offers a handshake to start, so Loco slaps him, and they criss cross - Loco hitting an inverted atomic drop. He follows with a standard version, and a clothesline puts the challenger on the outside. Guerrera spends a good bit of time regrouping his nuts out there, and Loco eventually dives after him with a pump-splash. Inside, Juvi turns the tide in the corner, and unloads a ten-punch. He wastes too much time playing to the crowd, however, and Loco blasts him with a lariat, and adds a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two. Armbar, but Juvi escapes, so Loco adds a headscissors takedown and a crisp powerslam for two. Chops in the corner, and Juvi tries to bail, so Loco actually spanks him. Yeah, let's save that spot for the women’s matches, please, fellas. Another criss cross ends in a double knockout spot, and Guerrera ends up on the floor for Loco to flying bodypress out after. That draws The Filthy Animals out to distract Loco, and Guerrera schoolboys him for two. Loco bails, but Juvi is on him with a slingshot legdrop to the floor, and adds some shots into the post and rail as well. Guerrera with a slam on the way back in to set up a springboard splash, for two. Running sitout powerbomb for two, and an inverted powerslam sets up his Peoples Elbow rip-off for two, as the Misfits in Action head down. Guerrera heads to the top to finish, so Major Gunns distracts him with her major guns, and Loco knocks him down. He tries a tornado DDT, but Guerrera counters, only for Loco to counter into a lifting-falling inverted DDT for two. Powerbomb, but Juvi counters into the Juvi Driver for two. Juvi argues the count, and ends up taking a tornado DDT, and Loco retains at 12:09. Hey, nice to see a Cruiserweight match with actual Cruiserweight wrestlers that actually went more than five minutes on pay per view in 2000. Not that this was a classic (way too much stalling, and overbooking), but I appreciate it nonetheless. *

WCW Hardcore Title Handicap Match: Big Vito v Norman Smiley and Ralphus: Guys hit each other with stuff. Vito puts Ralphus through a table with a flying splash at 5:55. Sorry, I have no interest in these aimless, meaningless, heatless brawls, and that's all you get out of me. DUD

Wedding Gown Match: Miss Hancock v Daffney: David Flair makes out with Hancock at the bell, so Daffney blows him low, and we're on. She tackles Hancock for some hair pulling, but David breaks it up, and Hancock stomps her. Hancock with a poorly executed handspring elbow, and she teases a stinkface, but gets snapmarred a couple of times. Daffney tries throwing her into a wedding cake parked at ringside, but David breaks it up. He ends up losing his pants in the chaos, as does the referee. More low blows, including a spot where Daffney rams Hancock's face into Flair's crotch - a true low blow. Crowbar runs in to side suplex Flair, as the referee openly plays with his boner on live television. Crowbar loses his pants as he gives David a forward-falling suplex, but Hancock ends up taking her own dress off at 4:16 to save him for further abuse - the referee hilariously sitting Indian-style on the mat, and enjoying the show. Yeah... you'd think this would be better, but Hancock (Stacy Keibler) was wearing granny panties for some reason, and Daffney never showed anything either. Put it this way: there was more male nudity than anything else. DUD

WCW World Tag Team Title Match: The Perfect Event v KroniK: Chuck Palumbo starts with Brian Adams, and tries a standing side-headlock, but gets shoved off for a criss cross - ending in Adams dumping him. He press slams Shawn Stasiak out onto him for good measure, and the champs stall out there. They decide to walk and keep the titles via countout loss, but have a change of heart, and settle on Shawn with Bryan Clarke. Stasiak tries hammering him into the corner, but the tables quickly get turned, and Clarke unloads. Shawn tries a 2^nd rope axehandle, but jumps right into a chokeslam. Tag back to Adams for a double-team shoulderblock, and a big boot knocks him into a tag back to Palumbo. He takes a full-nelson slam for two, but a double-team leaves Adams on the floor for a beating. Inside, the champs cut the ring in half on Adams, but he escapes a sleeper from Shawn, and they end up doing a double knockout spot during a criss cross. Both guys tag, and Clarke is a house of arson to trigger a four-way brawl. Meltdown for Palumbo, but Chuck counters into a DDT. Clarke gets overwhelmed in a double-team, but Adams saves, and it's High Times for both champs. Powerbomb/flying clothesline combo finishes Shawn at 13:36. A little bit too long for what they were going for (Perfect Event were just to green to carry a long heat segment, and they took too long working through the finishing sequence after the hot tag - this would have been better at under ten minutes), but there was effort. *

Booker T v Kanyon: Booker tosses him around to start, and dumps him out of the ring - following with an axehandle off of the apron. Booker with a flying clothesline on the way back in for two, but a whip into the rail is reversed, and Kanyon rams him into the steps. Goofy spot, as Kanyon sets the steps up on Booker, and then makes a big show of jumping off the apron with a chair to 'hammer' the steps into him with extra force. Yeah, didn't look good. I can suspend disbelief of all sorts of physics when it actually looks good, but that did not. Kanyon makes up for it with a nice modified superplex back in for two, but takes a powerslam out of the corner for two. Kanyon with a sitout whiplash powerbomb for two, and he locks an inverted crab on, but Booker powers into a cradle for two. Booker with a spinebuster for two, so Kanyon hits him with his copy of Diamond Dallas Page's book for two. Kanyon realizes his brick (which he was using to load the book) is missing, however, and Booker pops up with the Harlem sidekick. Axekick follows, and the Book-End hits, but Jeff Jarrett runs down with a guitar shot as Booker looks to finish, and the Kanyon Cutter ends things at 10:06. Well paced, fun match, with the crowd into Booker, and giving them plenty of heat to work with. * ¼

WCW United States Title Match: Scott Steiner v Mike Awesome: Scott attacks with an axehandle off of the apron during the entrances, but ends up getting backdropped into the crowd out there, and Mike dives after him for a brawl. Awesome with a bodyslam in the crowd, and Scott hits him with a chair as they come back to ringside. Scott with a clothesline and an elbowdrop on the way back in for two. Chops in the corner, but a cross corner clothesline hits boot, and Awesome goes to the top rope to capitalize - only to get overhead superplexed down for two. Steiner with a ten-punch count (well, only until about four, since Steiner-math), and a backbreaker hits. Vertical suplex is countered by Awesome into a forward version across the ropes, and he shoves Scott to the outside for an elbowdrop off of the apron. Mike whacks him with the ring bell out there, and delivers a series of chairshots before rolling the champ back in for a slingshot splash - getting two. Flying clothesline for two, as Ernest Miller makes his way down. Vertical suplex is reversed by Steiner, and an overhead suplex follows from the champ. Recliner, but Miller hops up onto the apron, and Scott lets off. He goes back for Awesome, but ends up taking a whiplash into a somersault cradle for two. Flying frogsplash gets two, but Scott railroads him into the corner to block a powerbomb - bumping the referee in the process. That allows Miller to superkick Steiner, but Scott ducks, and it ends up taking Awesome out. Steiner covers for two, and adds a belly-to-belly suplex before trying the Recliner again, but ends up getting disqualified (the Recliner is a banned move), and stripped of the title at 9:10. Man, seriously? DQ'd AND stripped of the title? Who does that help? Not Steiner, and certainly not Awesome, who looked like a loser in every possible way - not only beaten by Steiner physically, but not getting the title either. Decent power match until the horrible ending too, with surprisingly little resting. **

Graveyard Match: Vampiro v The Demon: The idea here is that they fight in a Graveyard, and the first to make it into the arena wins. Lucky for them that there's a graveyard with open graves and caskets randomly sitting around so close to the arena! Anyway, they spend a while searching for each other around the graveyard, and do some brawling once locating one another. They fight into a pond for a bit, as the announcers start screaming that alligators may eat them at any moment. Hey, don't get our hopes up, guys. Demon tries putting him into a casket, but Vampiro spits some sort of mystery liquid into his eyes to block, and knocks him out with a broken piece of a tombstone. He shoves Demon into the casket, and then shoves it into an open grave before lighting it on fire at 7:30. Well, so much for first man back into the arena, I guess. I won't go negative stars because this wasn't a wrestling match to begin with, but it wasn't good, in any case. DUD

Shane Douglas v Buff Bagwell: Brawl on the floor to start, and Shane tries a piledriver on the floor, but gets backdropped. They trade chairshots, and inside, Shane hits a somersault necksnap. Headvise, as Torrie Wilson comes out to join the party. Shane wants a kiss, but gets slapped, and Bagwell schoolboys him for two. Buff with a pair of clotheslines and a bodypress for two, and a pump-splash is worth two. Now he wants a kiss (from Torrie, thank God, because that would have been a dark turn), but she ends up blowing him low. Shane hits the Pittsburgh Plunge out of the deal, but it only gets two. Shane is shocked too, and Buff DDTs him while he deals with it for two. Blockbuster, but Torrie interferes again, and Shane hits a pair of inverted atomic drops for the pin at 7:54. Really boring brawl, with the usual overbooking. Plus, why would Shane agree to allow Bagwell to roll him up when he was already in control of the match? Why not have Torrie get involved when Bagwell is in control, and do the turn, if that's what they want? DUD

WCW World Title Match: Jeff Jarrett v Hollywood Hulk Hogan: Yep, it's that match. So, the bell sounds, and Vince Russo immediately orders Jarrett to hit his back. He does, and Russo throws the WCW World Title at Hogan, telling him to go ahead and score the fall. Hulk grabs a microphone instead, and tells Russo that 'this is why the company's in the shape it's in... because of bullshit like this!' before pinning Jarrett with one foot at 0:20. After Hogan clears out with the belt, Russo comes back out, and unleashes a bellyful of vitriol on Hogan - tearing into him for everything from his creative control clause, to his politicking, to his bald head. He also declares that Jarrett is still the actual WCW Champion, and that we'll never see 'that piece of shit' ever again. And we didn't, actually, as this ended up being Hulk Hogan's last WCW appearance - fittingly at Bash at the Beach. The 'real' story behind this changes depending on who you're listening to and when you're listening to them, but what's generally agreed upon is that they worked themselves into a shoot here, and then lawyers got involved, and the whole thing ended up being one giant clusterfuck. Entertaining from a smart fans perspective, I suppose, but not 'good,' in any traditional sense. DUD

Kevin Nash v Goldberg: Stalling to start, as they stare at each other and make faces for a while. Goldberg powers into the corner, but Nash turns the tables with some kneelifts and elbowsmashes. Bootchoke is countered into a sweep, and Goldberg slams him for two. Kidney punches and a superkick hit, but Nash works a chokeslam to block a follow-up, and covers for two. Goldberg with a chinlock as Scott Steiner makes his way back out to motivate Kevin. Goldberg responds by shoving Nash into the corner for some abuse, but a blind charge misses, and Nash hits a sidewalk slam for two. Powerbomb, but Steiner runs in to turn on Nash, and Goldberg hits the spear. Jackhammer finishes at 5:29. Too short to really go anywhere, but then, no one wanted to see these two go over five minutes anyway, and I prefer 'short and pointless' over 'long and really boring.' DUD

Main Event: WCW World Title Match: Jeff Jarrett v Booker T: Jarrett stalls in the corner to start, and they do a couple of reversal sequences on the mat after tying up. They trade headlocks, and a criss cross goes Booker's way with a dropkick. Jeff suckers him with a test-of-strength, but takes the Harlem sidekick out of another criss cross, and gets dumped. Booker is on him with an axehandle off of the apron, and they do the brawl into the crowd bullshit. Back to ringside, Jarrett cracks him with a chair, and throws him into the announce table. Piledriver onto the table, and into the ring, Jarrett tries a sleeper. Booker reverses, but Jarrett hits a quick kneebreaker to escape, and goes right for the figure four - and gets cradled for two. Another try gets the hold locked on, but Booker reverses that too. Jeff makes the ropes to break, and decides to work Booker's knee some more before trying again. Booker catches him with the axekick, and adds a spinebuster for two. Harlem sidekick, but Jeff ducks, and Booker crotches himself on the top rope. Jeff shoves him into the corner for a ten-punch, and unlike Scott Steiner, he can actually get past 'four.' The referee ends up getting bumped in the corner though, so Jarrett grabs the title belt, but Booker ducks, and wallops him with it for two. Jeff blows him low before he can follow-up, however, but a chairshot gets reversed for two. Jeff blames the referee and takes him out again, then tries to break the guitar over Booker's head - only to get caught in the Book-End at 13:40. Definite feel good moment here, and I remember being elated when it happened in 2000. The match was the usual main event brawl, but at least there weren't two dozen run-ins, and the right guy won. *

BUExperience: Not as bad as some of the other WCW shows from this period, as there are some actual decent matches and a feel good ending, but the direction of the company at this point was an absolute, unrelenting nightmare, and watching them get more and more desperate and delusional with each passing month is not nearly as fun as you’d think it might be.

DUD