- This is a tape released by Coliseum Video in 1996 called
"WWF's Most Amazing Matches." (This was originally written in 2000)
- On with the rant. I feel like I'm watching FOX with the
name of this tape.
I use this system: ***** - Excellent **** - Very Good *** -
Good **- Okay * - Decent DUD - Awful.
- CRAPPY video package opens us up.
- Great, Dok Hendrix is hosting this. As long as he don't
wrestle.....
- Bret Hart vs. Jerry Lawler, Kiss my Foot match:
This is from KOTR 1995, which is such a great show! (Sarcasm). Bret is pretty
over here, and SHOULD have been the WWF champion here. (Just ask him!) Like
EVERY sign in the crowd is for Bret. Bret brawls to start, kicking ass. King runs,
and runs, but Hart keeps killing him, systematically taking him apart. Lawler
eventually changes the pace, by ramming Bret into the steps. Now Jerry kicks
HIS ass for a while. Match is moving VERY slowly. Dok and Vince are on
commentary, which is REALLY terrible. Piledriver by Lawler, gives the crowd a
heart attack. How goes Hat guy, ALWAYS get front row seats? Another piledriver,
and crowd is getting pissed. A third by Lawler. In Memphis he's be considered dead. He covers,
and gets TWO! Lawler continues the assault, but Hart comes back to giant pops.
Lawler cheats to win, and tosses Hart to the floor, at which point The King
takes his boot off, and clobbers Hart. As a reference point, for weeks building
to this show, Lawler walked around in horse stables and stuff, letting his feet
become DISGUSTING to Bret would have to kiss them when Jerry wins. Nice to see
Cornette books once in a while.... okay no. The boot gets two. Hart counters a
foot in the face, and head buts him down low. "Sharp" is used a lot
by the announcers in different contexts. Okay... Anyway, Jerry cheats
OUTRAGEOUSLY, like a true cowardly heel, but eventually it backfires, and Bret
kicks more ass. Hakushi comes out to attack Bret but, of course, it backfires
(to a BIG pop). 5 Moves of Doom, all getting pops. Sharpshooter to a SUPER
large pop, and Lawler gives in. Listen to that pop, and tell me Hart shouldn't
have had the belt. Some foot kissing action goes on, as Jerry kisses Bret's
foot, and his own. Hat guy is having a blast. The match? Pretty bad. * 3/4.
- Casket Match: The Undertaker vs. King Mabel: From
IYH December 1995. Notice, Mabel has NO HEAT. So... lets see... a guy with NO
HEAT gets to win King of the Ring, AND Main Event SummerSlam? This is why the
WWF sucked around this point. UT, who gets a GREAT pop, wasn't even in an
important match at SummerSlam. This is the goofy face mask perioid BTW. Brawl
to start (and a bad one at that) Bossman slam by Mabel nearly squashes him, but
UT decides to no sell some offense, getting pops each time he sits up. Big
splash from the top misses, and UT kicks ass, which is "sold" by
Mabel in the vaguest form of it. Mabel's slow, bad offense follows. Mo is such
a Mr. T rip off on the outside. UT in the box, but they forget to close it, so
UT escapes. What stupidity is this? Mabel is scared by UT getting out, and gets
his ass kicked, and again "sells." Terrible chokeslam by UT puts him
down, and into the casket he goes. I feel like yelling BEACHED WHALE! After
some hijinks from Mo, the casket is closed. This is HORRIBLE. 1/2 *.
- Diaper Match: Razor Ramon vs. 1-2-3 Kid: From Feb
1996 IYH. Kid is, of course, X-Pac. Joined in progress, with Kid holding a
sleeper. This takes like 5 minutes. I believe this was the opener of that IYH,
which I will do a rant on later. Razor eventually escapes, and crotches Sean on
the ropes. They lie around for a while, and nothing really happens. Razor
eventually hammers away on him, and I think I hear them mumble "Ted
Turner, here I come", but I'm not sure. Moonsault by Kid reverses for 2,
and Sean does some high flying stuff trying to end this. Fallaway slam from the
top by Razor. Whoa. Powder in the face backfires on the Kid, and Razor's Edge
hits. He does it once more for the hell of it, and gets 3. Notice EVERYONE here
(Razor, Kid, Ted DiBiase) would join the nWo. **. Razor then puts a diaper on
X-Pac. This made the Netcop Busts.
- Dok talks. He makes little sense. (He’s entertaining on those
Legend’s roundtables, though)
- Hogpen Match: Henry Godwin vs. Triple H: From
December 1995 IYH. The current WWF Champion, is wrestling a jobber. Huh. Joined
in progress as they brawl on the floor. Badly. Hillbilly Jim is the ref. Henry
carries him over to the pen, and Hunter escapes his grasp, and beats on him.
Seesaw brawl by the Pen, and a hard whip by HHH to the pen is a highlight... I
guess. He tries a pedigree, and almost gets backdroped in the pen. He drops an
elbow from the top of it. They stager around, and go back to the ring. Lawler
makes some fun of Arkansas.
Once they get to the ring, they lie around, and don't do much. Pretty sweet
slam by Henry, which basically starts in a Walls of Jericho position, and is
pulled up, and slammed on Hunter's face. Impressive. HHH copies some of Shawn's
moves (corner bumps, and other ways of bumping.) Did anyone notice it then? (I
think he was going more for Flair’s style, but Shawn stole a ton from Flair
himself, so the confusion is understandable) They fight back to the
Hogpen, and Hunter outsmarts Henry to get the advantage. HOG hits the slopdrop,
and Hunter acts dead but accidentally opens his eyes, sees the camera, and
closes them. Hunter backdrops him in the pen to win the match. Not bad, but not
good. **. Godwin then slams "The Game" in the mud, and lets the pigs
run around. Hunter has a nasty gash on his back. Splinter from the Pen I guess.
- Cage Match: Bret Hart vs. Isaac Yankem: From RAW in
1995. Isaac is Kane. Somehow I remember Lawler being in a sharkcage, but he
isn't. Joined in progress as Bret is
about to escape, but Lawler climbs up to stop him. Officials come out, and
demand Lawler come down, but he won't, so Bret knocks him down, and NOW they
put him in the shark cage. That long haired, blond WWF guy looks like my old
French teacher. As the King is raised in the cage, Bret and Yankem brawl in the
cage. Damn this building is small, and half empty. Bret almost escapes, but
Isaac stops him, and slams him off. Kane tries to escape, but Hart follows, and
they brawl atop the cage, and Hart dumps him. King gets a nose bleed from being
"so high up." What? It's like 18 feet. (He’s sensitive to it, dammit!)
Bret continues to control in the ring, and hits the 5 moves of doom. This looks
to be in a High School Gym. (There’s intimate, and then there’s Indy-ish.
1995 WWF was on the wrong side of that line) Bret goes up, and JUST
ABOUT gets out, and Isaac stops him, and DDT's him. He then almost escapes, but
Bret pulls him in. Odd to hear Vince cheering on Bret. You can tell they were
losing the rating war here, as McMahon goes "A cage and a cage above that,
only on RAW, ONLY in the WWF!!!!" King tosses Yankem a key to open the
padlock on the door, because it was locked to keep King out. Bret stops him,
and bulldogs him to the mat. 5 Moves of doom again, to pops. Hart climbs
quickly and escapes to a sound ovation. Surprisingly fun. ***.
- Dok closes.
- Bottom Line: WELL. A semi-mixed bag to say the least.
Bret/Yankem in a cage wasn't a "Great Match" by any means, but was
definitely a fun match. Everything on here is pretty decent, except the Casket
Match, and the Kiss My Foot match.
A recommendation, or a non- recommendation is pretty stupid
here, considering how hard this tape is to find. I've only seen it ONCE since I
bought it at Wal*mart in 1996. But if you do find it,
I DO NOT recommend this one. (What a piece of shit tape. Late 1995/early
1996 was a terrible period, sure, but there were some good matches from the
usual suspects. Instead, they chose to
highlight the worst stuff)
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