WCW SuperBrawl 2000

From San Francisco, California; Your Hosts are Tony Schiavone, Mikey Tenay, and Mark Madden.

Opening WCW Cruiserweight Title Match: Lash LeRoux v The Artist: This is the finals of a tournament to crown a new champion. Artist is Prince Iaukea doing a Prince gimmick, since his NAME is PRINCE Iaukea. Prince attacks during the entrances, and shoves Lash into the corner for a ten-punch, but ends up getting flapjacked for two. Criss cross goes Lash's way with a series of rights, but Prince blocks the split-legged punch with a superkick. It spills to the outside, and LeRoux hits a plancha, but gets stomped as they head back in, and tied in a tree of woe. Prince blocks a sunset flip by outright molesting the referee, and they go through a sloppy pinfall reversal sequence. 'Faggot' chant from the San Francisco crowd sparks up. Well, they'd know. Prince with a nice overhead suplex for two, but a cross corner clothesline is reversed, and Lash ten-punches him. Rana off the top, but Prince blocks, and hits a dangerous looking 2^nd rope flying DDT for the pin at 5:47. 'Amateurish' would be a nice way to describe this mess. ¼*

WCW Hardcore Title Match: Bam Bam Bigelow v Brian Knobs: Fit Finlay attacks Bigelow in the aisle to give Knobs an early advantage, and they brawl right over to the WCW.com simulcast set. Into the crowd from there, as we get a look at how incredibly dumb Bam Bam Bigelow's tights are. Really? What was wrong with the badass flames, anyway? They fight into the mezzanine for some brawling, and then suddenly abruptly decide to make a beeline back towards the ring. Weapon shot, weapon shot, weapon shot, and Bigelow hits the Greeting From Asbury Park, but ends up getting crotched on the top rope as he tries for the headbutt, and Knobs knocks him out to the floor for the pin at 4:44. DUD

Handicap Match: 3-Count v Norman Smiley: Norman cleans house at the bell, but gets quickly overwhelmed, as the dust settles on Shannon Moore starting. He hits a victory roll for two, and tags Shane Helms in for a gutwrench suplex. Shane misses a really, really visually impressive twisting swanton bomb, and Norman is on him with a giant swing. Moore gets caught in the Conquest, but the other two break it up, and they overwhelm Norman again. 3-Count take turns hitting flying splashes, and Moore slaps on an elevated crab for the submission at 4:05. Basic midget comedy formula, only with full-sized guys! ½*

The Wall v The Demon: This is billed as a 'Special Main Event,' as WCW was required to put the KISS Demon in a pay per view main event, but even they're not that stupid. Brawl in the aisle right away, and inside, Wall press slams him. Cross corner whip, but Demon springs to the middle rope, and dives at him with a clothesline. Diving backelbow and a dropkick from the Demon, followed by a snap suplex. Cross corner whip ends in Wall stungunning him though, and he hits a backbreaker into a backbreaker submission. To the top, but Demon slams him off - only to get chokeslammed as he tries his luck on the top rope for the pin at 3:22. Oh, it was 'special' alright. ¼*

Leather Jacket on a Pole Match: Tank Abbott v Big Al: I don't even remember who Big Al was, and the guy doesn't even have a Wikipedia page, so it looks like I'm not the only one. They decide to lash their hands together with Al's belt at the start, and they trade punches for a bit. Al actually wins that, and detaches himself to crotch Tank on the post. He decides to climb for the all important jacket, but then decides to stand on Tank's face instead - in a terrible looking spot. Abbott pops up and looks to nearly knock him out with a hard jab, then hits a belly-to-belly suplex. He throws Al over his shoulder and makes a climb (with the guy on his shoulder), but not surprisingly, that doesn't turn out well, and Abbott ends up dropping him all the way down to the floor. As if that's not enough, Abbott hops down and lightly open-hand slaps his chest to really finish him off, then finally climbs for the jacket at 4:33. The highlight comes after the bell, as Tank finds a knife in the jacket pocket, and presses it to Al's throat while yelling 'I could fucking kill you right now!' Listening to the announcers try to smooth things over ('I think that was a pair of scissors, and he was going to trim Al's beard off.' 'Those might have been salad tongs, Tony') kicks this right up into the stratosphere of awesome. DUD, bordering negative stars.

Booker T v Big T: Winner gets the rights to the 'Harlem Heat' name. Big T attacks from behind, and controls with punch-kick stuff, but Booker manages a side suplex. Vertical suplex, as Big T looks out of breath. Booker knocks him to the outside to give him a breather, and hits a flying axehandle on the way back in. Brother Stevie Ray gets involved to allow Big T to clothesline Booker out, but Booker quickly comes back with a Russian legsweep and axekick. Uranage sets up a missile dropkick, but the lights die as the referee counts the pin. When they come back up, a mystery man is standing on the apron (the debuting Kash), and Big T uses the distraction to hit the Big T Bomb for the pin at 5:22. Booker tried hard, but Big T looked absolutely horrible here - not only grossly overweight, but taking and executing moves improperly left-and-right. And this guy was only a couple of years removed from behind Intercontinental Champion - in an era when that actually meant something. –¼*

Billy Kidman v Vampiro: Great sign in the crowd: 'Who's Next?... To Leave.' Reversal sequence to start, won by Vampiro with a tilt-a-whirl slam. Lariat follows for two, and he tries an electric chair, but Kidman turns it into a rana over the top. Whip into the rail out there, but Kidman gets caught on the top on the way back in, and gutwrench superplexed down for two. Nice brainbuster gets two, but a powerbomb is blocked, so Vampiro dropkicks the knee. Sexy, sexy Torrie Wilson hops up onto the apron to protest, but gets bumped off, and Kidman bails to go check on her. Vampiro follows, but ends up getting smacked with a chair, and Kidman rolls him in for two. Slingshot, but Vampiro catches him in a fireman’s carry, then hits a snap suplex for two. Another, but Kidman cradles for two, and hits a sitout powerbomb for two. Vampiro fires back with a rocker dropper for two, and a missile dropkick to the back of the head gets two. Tornado DDT, but Kidman counters with a rana off the top for two - only to miss a corner charge, and take a two-alarm no-release powerbomb for two. To the top again, and Kidman blocks a superplex - riding Vampiro down to the mat for the pin at 7:19. Huh? A wrestling match? On a wrestling show? THE FUCK?! A bit sloppy, but easily the match of the night so far, and the first to get the crowd at all invested. *

WCW World Tag Team Title Sicilian Stretcher Match: The Mamalukes v David Flair and Crowbar: Brawl on the floor to start, and Crowbar hits Johnny the Bull with a plancha onto the stretcher. Big Vito stops them from wheeling him up the aisle though, and the champs take both challengers out with various stretcher weapon shots. Into the ring, the Mamalukes continue to control with double-team stuff, so Daffney runs in and hits Johnny with a rana to turn the tide. She then goes back to spending the match screeching at ringside - perhaps the only thing more annoying than Jimmy Hart's megaphone. Crowbar tries a rana on Vito, but ends up getting powerbombed through a table he propped up in the corner, and David takes a double-team powerbomb. Bull with a nice twisting flying legdrop on Flair, and the Mamalukes tie him onto the stretcher to eliminate him. Crowbar tries to hold his own, but the goons overwhelm him, drive him through another table (with Vito nearly blowing the spot by losing his balance on the top rope), and he's stretchered out at 11:20. Another stupid hardcore match, but good effort all around from the young guys, if a bit overlong. ¼*

Texas Death Match: Ric Flair v Terry Funk: They trade punches until Flair shoves him into the corner for some chops - only for Funk to knock him out to the floor with more punches. Funk suplexes him back in, and hits a backdrop, followed by a series of jabs to set up the spinning-toehold. Ric escapes, and they spill to the outside for a suplex, but Funk reverses. Another vertical suplex out there, and Funk gets the pin - Flair now has a ten count to reach his feet, or lose. Ric is up fairly (Flairly?) quickly, and chops Funk - knocking him over the rail. Flair goes after the knee with a plastic chair (Really? There was a steel one right next to it, and that was your choice?), and back inside, Ric slaps on a Figure Four to win a fall. Good strategy from Funk there, as he can give up a fall to get out of the hold quick, and then catch a breather. Funk beats the count up, but Flair is right on the knee again - only to get slammed off the top rope. Flair flips out to the floor, and Terry follows with a piledriver out there for two. Annoyed, Funk pulls up the floor mats for a second piledriver onto the exposed concrete, and that's enough for a pin. Flair manages to beat the count, so Funk decides to punish him with a piledriver through a table, but pulls him up at two. Funk wants to break his neck (we know, because he grabs a mic and tells us so), but a moonsault through a table backfire, and Flair pins him - Funk unable to answer the count at 15:30. Some nice callbacks to their series in '89, but not really enough to stand on its own. Still, solid stuff from the two veterans, all things considered. * ½

Hulk Hogan v Lex Luger: Luger attacks Hogan before the bell, and hammers away. Shoulderblock, but a leaping elbowdrop misses, and Hogan rakes the back. Clothesline and a pair of elbowdrops get two, and the Hulkster tosses Lex out to the floor - following him out for a choke with his t-shirt. Chairshot, but Luger nails him on the way back in, and takes over as Elizabeth looks bored on the outside. Yeah, who could blame her. We may have been tired of the formula, but she used to watch this exact match twice daily in the late 80s. She gets so tired of it, that she hits Hogan with a bat as he starts making a comeback, and Luger sneak attacks. Vertical suplex, but Hogan HULKS UP!! Fists of Fury! Big Boot! Cast Covered Forearm! Legdrop! 8:10! This would be right at home as a nostalgia main event on some Randy the Ram Indy show somewhere, but the dead crowd actually woke up for Hogan. ¼*

Main Event: WCW World Title No Disqualification Triple Threat Match: Sid Vicious v Jeff Jarrett v Scott Hall: Jarrett and Hall start without Sid, and Hall controls with a blockbuster. Sid finally gets around to joining us, but turns his back on Hall, and gets clobbered. Jarrett and Hall try teaming up, but Sid cleans house anyway. The Harris twins lend an assist by crotching Sid on the post, and Jarrett dives on Hall with a swinging neckbreaker. Sleeper, but Scott reverses and it turns into a slugfest - the referee going down in the mêlée. Sid gets back to his feet to blast both guys with a clothesline, and a double-chokeslam gets two from a second referee. Jarrett whacks Sid with the title belt for two, but argues the count, and Hall schoolboys him for two. Inside cradle gets two, and Jarrett stops to take the second referee out for counting. That's kind of like getting angry at the sun for shining, but whatever. Sid gets caught up with the Harris' again, and Hall tries the Edge on Jarrett, but gets backdropped. Jeff takes out two more referees so that his own personal, handpicked referee can come in, but it backfires when Hall hits the Edge. Cover, but the referee fakes an injury to stop the count. Jeff grabs his guitar to clobber Hall, as Roddy Piper wanders out to stop the evil referee from counting the fall for Jarrett. Sid pops back in to chokeslam Jeff, and he finishes Hall with a Powerbomb at 7:51 – Hall’s last WCW appearance. This was super, super rushed because the show was running long, but it might have actually been better off this way, because it forced them to keep the pace up. Kind of a train wreck of a match, and certainly grossly overbooked, but not boring, at least. ½*

BUExperience: The promotion was in a free fall at this point with all the management shakeups, wrestlers bailing, and ratings plummeting left and right. Unfortunately, there was no light at the end of the tunnel, and shows like this just reeked of desperation, as they threw any and everything at the wall in hopes that something would stick.

DUD