HITMAN383 Rant for WWF Coliseum Video: Slamfest 1995

- The HITMAN383 Rant for WWF Slamfest 1995. This is a one-hour Coliseum Video from early 1995, featuring a bunch of matches from my favorite period: 1994 WWF. (Originally written in 2002)

- BTW, I use this system:
***** - Excellent,
**** - Great,
*** - Good,
**- Okay,
* - Decent,
DUD – Nothing Match.

- Your Host is Ted DiBiase.

- WWF Intercontinental Title Match: Diesel vs. Lex Luger: From RAW, mid-1994, somewhere between King of the Ring (June) and SummerSlam (August). This is during the period when Diesel actually DIDN’T suck, so this could actually be alright. They do some false tie-ups to start, as J.R. notes that he hopes “Luger will have a more successful time in this title match, than he has had in others.” Ouch. Lex gets in Diesel’s face, which gets him shoved to the floor like the piece of trash he is. He comes back with a sunset flip, however, getting two, so Shawn pops up to help big Kev regroup. He does, and hammers away on the total package. Luger comes back with a powerslam, however, for two, and now HE pounds away. Backdrop, but Diesel counters with a powerbomb, but Lex backdrops him anyway! He tries a bodypress, but Nash moves, and Lex flies over the top. He slams him out there, and distracts the ref, allowing Shawn a flying clothesline. They go to commercial (this is RAW, remember), and we cut to Diesel putting Luger in a chinlock, presumably when the break was over. Lex fades, as Shawn yells at the timekeeper to “ring the bell! Ring it!” I KNEW he was in on Montreal! See, he’s even rehearsing three years in advance! Luger side suplexes out, and hammers away, hitting a series of clotheslines. DDT gets a near two, and Lex goes to the 2nd rope. Flying clothesline for two, as the crowd rallies behind the Total Package! He rallies right into Nash’s boot, however, and the referee gets bumped, right as Lex hooks the rack. Cue Shawn Michaels, however, to hit the superkick on Luger, and Diesel retains the title at … no wait … HE KICKS OUT! I thought that was the finish right there. Lex makes the big comeback, as Razor Ramon comes down to chase Shawn Michaels away, but the chase ends up in the ring, and the ref calls for the bell at 9:30. Afterwards, Shawn and Diesel do a beatdown on Ramon, but Luger makes the save, and we find out that this match has been ruled a double DQ. Perfectly solid match, although the ending was a bit un-needed. *.

- Yokozuna vs. The 1-2-3 Kid: This is a Coliseum Video exclusive, which means this was probably taped as a dark match from Superstars sometime between WrestleMania X (March) and Survivor Series (November). Kid uses his speed to keep away from Yoko to start, and goes to work with the kicks. Big dropkick knows Yoko to the outside, as I sit proud that Yoko would sell so much for a guy so much smaller than he is. Yoko comes back in, and makes an appetizer out of Sean, then tosses him over the top like a rag doll. He gets distracted by the “USA” chants, however, so Kid rolls him up for two. Ooh, that took BALLS. Yoko misses the cross corner charge, of course, and the Kid reverts back to the kicks. Bodypress, but Yoko hits a powerslam for the pin at 5:10. Nothing match, but not offensive, or anything. DUD.

- Bret Hart & Davey Boy Smith vs. Owen Hart & Jim Neidhart: Half of these guys are gone today, which saddens me. I already reviewed this match as part of the “Wham, Bam, Bodyslam” rant, but I’ll be glad to do it again, instead of just re-printing it. This is also a dark match from Superstars, somewhere between SummerSlam (August) and Survivor Series (November). Bret and Owen start, and Owen pulls a WrestleMania X, gloating after winning a lock-up. Bret responds by out-wrestling him on the mat, and gets a crucifix for two. That is SUCH a difficult spot to pull off, too, and I really appreciate it. Criss cross allows Bret to monkey flip him into the ropes, and then clothesline him over the top. Cut to later, as Neidhart puts Davey in a chinlock. Yeah, highlight the restholds. Thanks. Owen tags in for some headbutts, and his terrific legdrop for two. Enzuiguri (sold with zeal by Davey, who does a flip) gets two, and the heels cheat to win, as Bret complains to the referee. That strategy never made sense to me as a mark: why complain to the ref when it only allows the heels to cheat more? Of course, today I see that it’s just a good heat-drawing tactic, but, you know. Neidhart’s back in, and the evil Hart’s do their damnedest to keep Smith away from his corner, cheating all the while. They even manage to hit the Hart Attack behind the ref’s back for two. Owen with a neckbreaker on Davey Boy Morton for two, and he goes to the chinlock. Oh, COME ON! You’re Owen freakin’ Hart, and this is 1994, damn it! Bulldog makes the hot tag, but the referee was caught up with Neidhart, and it doesn’t go down. Owen tries a dropkick on Bulldog, but he moves, and Owen hits the Anvil instead! That allows Smith to get the real hot tag to Bret, who cleans house on his family. Bret Russian leg sweeps Owen for two, and the backbreaker hits. He goes to the 2nd rope, and the big elbow gets two. Suplex, and it’s Sharpshooter time, but the Anvil runs in to break it up. Bastard. Davey comes in to press slam Owen, but Jim nails him, and he have an all out brawl. Davey cradles Owen in it, but Jim turns it over, only to have Bret turn it back over, the good Harts get the win at 9:59. The full version is about 14:30, and I called it at **** ¼, but this clipped version losses a little bit in the translation. Call it, ***. (I gave the full version two-stars in the BUExperience, so I’d say three-stars for a clipped version might be a tad overrated, yeah)

- Doink vs. Jeff Jarrett: From RAW, around October – November of 1994. This is Joined In Progress, as Doink slams Jarrett around. Doink goes to the mat-based headlock, which quickly becomes a standing version, as Vince McMahon tells us about how Doink is “one of the best wrestlers.” Yeah, sure. Jarrett goes to the abdominal stretch (not even wasting one second to go to the ropes), and that goes on for a while, until Dink breaks it up by biting Double J’s hand. Doink with a flying back elbow, and a diving clothesline, which draws Jerry Lawler’s midget’s (think Survivor Series 1994) out to distract Doink. That allows Jeff to dropkick him out, and the little kings abuse him, as Jeff keeps Dink and Wink at bay. Cut (due to commercial) to Jarrett hitting a dropkick for two, and going back to the chinlock. He still uses the ropes, of course. Doink manages to break out, but gets hooked right into the sleeper moments later, as Randy Savage goes crazy on commentary over a SLEEPER. Jeff with an enzuiguri for two, but Doink hits a butterfly suplex. Jeff tries a 2nd rope fist drop to regain control, but misses, and Doink powerslams him. Doink whips him right into the mini-king (in a contrived spot) and the little guy takes a MAN-SIZED, INSANE bump to the ground. Butterfly powerslam gets two, and a dropkick gets two. Doink heads up top, and the butt splash connects, but the referee is distracted with the battling midgets. That allows Jerry Lawler to run in, nail Doink, and put Jeff on top for the win at 10:10. Hey, Memphis heels have to stick together, damn it! Match was nothing special, but solid enough for what it was. ¾*.

- WWF Tag Team Title Match: Shawn Michaels & Diesel vs. Razor Ramon & The 1-2-3 Kid: This is a very famous match, off of WWF “Action Zone” a Sunday morning show they had at the time. And one I would run home as fast as I could for, every week, in my mark days. I mean, noon Sunday morning, USA network, I was THERE. (Yep, this and the bagel that I used to get on my way home from Hebrew School were what Sunday mornings were about in 1994) This is between SummerSlam (August) and Survivor Series (November) as well. The heels jump the druggies to start, (That’s sort of a relative term, with these four) and hammer away, but get thrown into eachother. Razor immediately hits the Razor’s Edge on Shawn (I mean, under a minute into this thing), and gets two, when Diesel pulls him out. They bail, looking for a count-out win, but Ramon is there to throw HBK back in. Kid rolls him up for two, and hits a backdrop. Upstairs, a flying bodypress gets two. Standing victory roll for two, and a rana, but Shawn powerbombs him. Damn it, why didn’t we ever see these two, one-on-one on PPV? I mean, what were THEY doing at SummerSlam 1994? Diesel gets in, and over powers the little man for some chokeslams. He tries a backdrop, but gets dropkicked, and Razor tags in. He hammers away on Diesel, and gets his shots in on Shawn as well, for good measure. Slam gets two, so Diesel takes the old-school route: punch him in the face. Cut to later (for commercial), as Diesel hits a sidewalk slam for two. Shawn tags in, and hits a big 2nd rope elbow for two. Chinlock, as I start to want to kill someone down at the WWF for ruining this great match by putting McMahon and Todd Pettingill on commentary. Shawn with a backdrop, but Ramon gets the backslide for two. Shawn dropkicks him for two, and tags in the big man. Snake eyes, and he chokes him on the ropes, while Shawn gets his cheap shots in. Nash-rope-choke-spot hits for two, and he goes to the head-vice. Diesel busts out a flying shoulderblock (!!!) for two, and we cut again (commercial, I guess) to Shawn and Razor coming back from a double knockout. Razor gets the hot tag, but it was blind, so Diesel comes in to hold Ramon for Shawn to superkick. But, it’s SummerSlam all over again, and he hits Diesel instead! Kid comes in, and cleans house on HBK, hitting a senton on the outside. Missile dropkick gets two, as the crowd goes nuts. Razor tags in, and hits a blockbuster on Shawn, then blockbusters Kid onto Shawn for two! Diesel is STILL out, too! Razor with a super side suplex, but Shawn rolls through, so RAZOR rolls through, for two. Rocket launcher gets Kid two, and Shawn tries to revive Big Daddy Cool. Ramon with a lariat for two, and Shawn desperately latches onto a sleeper to try to stop this madness. The arm drops twice, but Kid makes the save, as Diesel starts to wake up from the superkick. I don’t think I have EVER seen Kevin Nash sell for this long all at one time. I guess he’s still pissed about it, and that’s why he refuses to sell today. Razor with a slingshot on Shawn, and the hot tag to Kid. Flying legdrop for a really tight two count, but Diesel recovers long enough to run his boot through Waltman’s head to allow Shawn to retain the tag titles at 13:53. Excellent match, especially after Diesel got taken out. I mean, really, any combo of these four would be a ***+ match at this point, so all of them together was a blessing. **** ¼. (Yeah, this was really awesome. I’m really hoping the Network puts up an unclipped version one day, because this one is missing a good eight minutes, and it’s worth seeing in full)

- Bottom Line: For a one-hour tape, they sure managed to get a lot of goodness in there. Good, fun stuff from the Clique, and the Hart Family make this a keeper, and the rest is all solid enough, if unspectacular. For an hour, how can you lose on this one?

- Highly Recommended.